Twist the Knife
by tag58
Summary: sequel to my fic 'Turn the Tables' - carrying that Kaidan's and Shepard's story through to the events of ME3... a very AU, very Shenko version of the last part of the Mass Effect trilogy... see author's note for more detail...
1. The End of the Innocence

_A/N - Hi everyone, back again! *waves* To those of you who have read Turn the Tables, I give you the beginning of its sequel... (If you haven't read TTT, I'm really not sure you'll be able to follow this one without, but I'll try to give a quick summary at the end of this note...) This fic will be an AU version of ME3, since the Shepard and Kaidan who go through those events are radically different people than vanilla ME3 ones... Expect that I will portray most or all of the important events of the game and its DLC, although I reserve the right to do so in any order and change any and all actions/reactions and details! Still, there are **spoilers for everything ME** in this fic, be warned! As usual, side missions and shipboard convos and etc. may only be detailed if they have something to add, or this fic will be tons longer than it already is (and its 50k words already, and I haven't cured the genophage yet)... I will do my best to update frequently, but I can't promise daily... this fic is just taking a lot more effort than expected :-/ on the upside, this prologue is (by far) the shortest chapter in the fic... most are 5-8k words, so hopefully that will hold you if I take longer to update!  
_

_This fic is, as most of mine are, **rated M... It will include violence (not graphic), angst, adult language and oh, yes, Shenko smut**... if that's not your thing, no worries, but this isn't the fic for you :-) As I did with TTT, I will separate the smut into its own chapters and clearly designate them so if you wanna skip, you can and not miss plot! There won't be an outtakes version of this fic... its long enough and I'm isolating the adult stuff so people can ignore it if they like, but any and all smut scenes I write, I'll include here :-) _

_As always, I give all due **thanks and credit to Bioware** for creating the incredible world of Mass Effect and all its associated games, characters, dlcs, and other media. Without them, I'd be really bored and not writing fanfic! Also, this fic is again **beta'd by StoneburntHeart**, and I am so grateful to her for everything... _

_Anyone who's caught up and eager to start, skip the rest of this note!_

_**Turn the Tables summary:** For those of you who haven't read my version of ME2, Turn the Tables, or those who'd just like a refresher... Kaidan is the one that dies in the Normandy crash, and Cerberus brings him back anyway. Cerberus is responsible for the Normandy SR1 destruction, and the Illusive Man works in collusion with the Collectors the entire fic... he's already indoctrinated (or just pure evil) and seeks a way to gain control of the Reapers, so he blatantly manipulates Shepard through Kaidan to do it. Shepard (spacer, war hero, paragon) has been out of the picture for two years, and although the couple are reunited on Horizon as in ME2, she joins the Normandy at that point and they work together to defeat the Collectors and Cerberus. When Cerberus rebuilds Kaidan, they include an electronic leash - a potentially fatal killswitch that Miranda employs at TIM's orders to get Kaidan, and eventually Shepard, to comply with Cerberus' demands. Shepard rescues Oriana for Miranda and uses that to persuade her to change sides, and they remove the leash... And then Kaidan discovers (the moment he wakes up from surgery, ouch) that the reason Shepard was missing for the two years he was dead and being rebuilt was that she had been pregnant at the time of the crash and hidden herself away with his parents on Earth. They have a son, Caleb David, and they return to Earth and meet him after everyone survives the suicide mission! Whew. Ok, if you still have questions, read the fic!_

* * *

Kaidan woke to the smell of fresh coffee, the sound of voices lowered to a murmur in the distance, and the sight of wide, clear, emerald green eyes watching him. He closed the short distance between his and Shepard's mouth and kissed her good morning. When he pulled back, she rewarded him with a huge smile and he knew he was wearing its twin on his own face.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he asked her with humor.

"Mmm," she replied casually. "Only been awake a few minutes. But yeah, sometimes I like to watch you sleep," she added.

He kissed her again, still smiling, and joked, "That's a little... creepy." He saw her expression tighten and was alarmed. He'd only been teasing, he hadn't meant to actually criticize. "Shepard?" he questioned in concern.

"Sorry..." she trailed off when he shook his head. "Sometimes when I sleep, I forget. That you're really back. And then I wake up and you're here. So I watch you and wait for my heart to stop racing and my breathing to slow down. I guess I can't believe we're here, we made it..." again her voice trailed off and he cursed himself for the pain he had inadvertently caused with his offhand comment.

"Ssshh," he soothed as he stroked her hair back from her face. He didn't begrudge her the sorrow – he couldn't imagine how he would have felt if the tables had turned and she had been the one that... died. The idea of trying to pick up his life and move on for two years without her – as she had been forced to do – was too painful to even contemplate and he concentrated on the present instead. He pulled her into his arms and rolled to his back so that she was draped over his chest. It was their favorite cuddle position and they often fell asleep this way. He knew she preferred it because it allowed her to rest her head over his heart and have the auditory comfort of its steady beat to soothe her.

"We did, you know," he spoke softly now, still stroking her hair. "We won. Beat the Collectors, and Cerberus..."

"Yeah," she confirmed softly. "We did."

"And now we're here, together," Kaidan continued, speaking in a soft contemplative tone, "with my parents – and our son."

Caleb was still a wonder to Kaidan though he had spent most of his waking hours during the two weeks since he'd met him for the first time in the child's constant company. After that first moment of confusion when he had still been a stranger and not Daddy, Caleb had opened his arms and his heart and accepted Kaidan into his life with all the innocent trust of a two year old. Kaidan had slid into the role of being a father as if he had been born to do it, and he couldn't imagine his life without Caleb in it any longer. In such a short time, Caleb – and Caleb's mother – had become Kaidan's world, and he caught himself actually giving thanks to Cerberus at times for making it possible.

Kaidan knew their idyll wouldn't last. He had requested – and been granted – four weeks leave, and Shepard had not yet given the Alliance her decision about whether or not she would return to active duty. But they were both aware of the wolves howling at the door... The Reaper threat was real, they knew, and though destroying the Collectors had delayed the danger, it was just that – a delay. Kaidan had no illusions that their enemies – nor their allies, for that matter – would be willing to wait patiently while they blissfully played house with their new family. Sooner or later, either the Reapers or the Alliance would end this peace. But laying here quietly with the woman he loved in his arms, Kaidan found it easy to forget – at least for now.

He thought again of the ring his mother had happily handed over at his request and he had taken to a local craftsman to alter to his specific needs. The ring was now tucked away in his old sea bag. Since even he rarely braved the slightly musty smell that never seemed to fade from the tattered canvas to dig into 'treasures' he hadn't seen since Basic, he knew it was a safe hiding place. And since he was sentimental enough to drag the bag with him from posting to posting despite its disuse, Kaidan figured it was also appropriate. He asked himself for the thousandth time since he had gotten the ring back from the jeweler last week if this was the right time. He mentally mocked himself for being such a romantic, but he couldn't help it. He was an old-fashioned man in some ways, and he firmly believed that asking the woman you loved to marry you deserved some pomp and circumstance. It wasn't something you casually asked when you're lying naked in bed as far as he was concerned, so he put the thought of the ring and all it meant aside for now. There were, however, other things they could be doing now...

"Shepard?" he broke the peaceful quiet that had fallen over them since he had soothed her to question if she was still awake.

"Hmmm?" she murmured in sleepy reply. So she was awake, but headed for sleep again. He'd take it.

"I love you," he said with all the emotion of his heart filling the words and somehow making them even bigger. Then he tilted her chin up to meet his kiss. This kiss wasn't a greeting – it was an invitation. She opened her mouth under his and accepted with all the fire that always waited in less than patient stasis between them. When they broke the kiss out of a need to breathe, she finally answered him.

"Why, Lieutenant, it seems like you had more than sleeping in or breakfast on your agenda this morning," she said with a smile that managed to be both funny and sexy at the same time although he couldn't have explained it if he tried.

"Mmm," he murmured against her smile, "Caught that, did you, Commander? Guess that's why you're in charge – except when you're not," he added with a smirk.

"Kaidan," Shepard said in mock-irritation against his lips, "Shut up and kiss me."

"Aye, aye-" he began to say before a voice behind him cut off his traditional acknowledgment of an order.

"Daddy - you kiss Mama?" Caleb asked in wide-eyed innocence as he approached his parents' bed.

"Not anymore," Kaidan heard Shepard mutter with a groan into her pillow as he reached down and lifted their son onto the bed and deposited him between them. He chuckled at her grumpiness even as he carefully made sure all important parts were covered by sheets and blankets, then settled in to enjoy a lazy morning with his family. This life was truly good - even if it had taken two lives to get here.

**#-#-#**

_Six months later..._

Kaidan pushed through of the double doors to exit the Defense Committee hearing chamber and tried to shove away his impatience and frustration at the same time. This hearing, as with every meeting he had had with Alliance command over the past six months, had been a waste of breath and energy. Perhaps more so. In his previous discussions with various Admirals, Captains, attaches, and pretty much anyone that would give him five minutes of attention, they at least had been willing to listen to his pleas for Shepard. Sure, they had brushed him off and called him too emotionally involved for his opinion to count, but at least they had let him protest her case first. Today, they had ignored any effort he had tried to make to once again defend Shepard and instead had spent the entire forty minutes asking him to recount every detail of the battles against Saren and the Collectors. He wasn't stupid – he had noticed the raised level of activity and tension the moment he had arrived at HQ. That combined with the obvious agenda the Committee refused to admit told him that something was clearly up. That the Committee had only wanted to discuss the Reapers made suspicion grow in his gut. He was glad in face of the growing trepidation that Caleb was safely tucked away with his parents.

Kaidan gave a moment of silent thanks for whatever fate or foresight had caused him to change his plans at the last second and leave Caleb behind when he left for Vancouver. His son had stood there with tears in eyes that were a copy of his own and nearly broken Kaidan's heart, but he had told Caleb to stay with his grandparents - Daddy would be back after seeing Mama. _He hoped._ The last part he had only added silently.

Shepard had stubbornly refused to see him (and Caleb) for the six months she'd been rotting in detention while the Alliance twiddled their thumbs and hemmed and hawed and generally did nothing to actually decide what to do with an officer that had killed over 300,000 batarians – and potentially saved the galaxy doing it. All Kaidan's pleas – either by message to her or to the jag officer that 'represented' her – had been turned away with a stubborn 'no.' He knew she was trying to protect them – keep them from being tainted by her actions, no matter how justified. Kaidan also knew that it was pointless – the Alliance was fully aware of their involvement and had promoted him during her confinement regardless; but she was nothing if not stubborn and noble. That nobility was one of her best and worst qualities as far as he was concerned.

He wished again, as he had a countless number of times prior to this moment, that the last time he'd seen Shepard hadn't been filled with anger and bitter words. She had received the message from Admiral Hackett on the 16th day of what he still considered the happiest time of his life – the two weeks they had spent at his parent's cottage after they defeated the Collectors and Kaidan had met his son for the first time. Shepard had excused herself on that day after her omni-tool pinged and retreated to his father's office for a private call with Admiral Hackett. When she came back out fifteen minutes later, Kaidan read the end of their blissful peace in the set of her shoulders, the look in her eyes, and the tightness of her mouth. He hadn't needed her to explain that she would be leaving – solo – on a mission that was top secret and more of a personal favor to the Alliance's top Admiral rather than an actual order to know that life as he knew it was going to change. Still, he had pleaded, cajoled, and argued, trying to get her to reconsider, or at the very least, take him too.

In the end, she had stood firm against all his objections and gone to their bedroom to pack. He'd never forget the look on her face or the quiet words that she spoke before she left him standing there alone.

"_Kaidan, I turned my back on my duty once. I won't – I can't – do it again. It's not who I am," she had said firmly. "Caleb just found you, I'm not going to take you away from him so soon. So I'm going, and I'm going alone. I hope you'll forgive me someday. I love you." She had closed the door behind her and never heard Kaidan's quiet reply._

"_I love you, too, Shepard," he had murmured to the empty room._

He was so distracted by his memories he nearly missed her. When Anderson approached him with questions about his testimony he had given a non-committal answer he couldn't even remember seconds later as his eyes moved past the Admiral and settled on the woman that had haunted his every waking moment for six months – longer if he was truly honest with himself.

"Shepard," he called in a tone of voice that said more than a simple greeting. He wasn't sure she had heard him until she turned from her conversation with the muscle-bound jarhead that was obviously her guard – and that insult made him grit his teeth more than the observation that she was clearly friendly with the man – and their eyes met over the people around them. All the chaos and activity faded around them and the world receded until there was only the two of them. She closed the distance between them and stood next to Anderson.

"Kaidan..." she replied to his greeting in her traditional manner but then she added a question, "Commander?" echoing Anderson's address of him.

"You hadn't heard?" Anderson questioned gruffly. _Of course she hasn't heard, you've had her locked away for six months_, Kaidan wanted to scream.

"Yeah, sorry," Kaidan replied instead and winced a bit at his in-eloquence. _Sorry? _he repeated mentally._ What the fuck was that? _So many things he wanted to say... and he went with sorry. He sighed and went to open his mouth to try again but Shepard forestalled him with her reply.

"No, its ok," she said with a soft smile, "It's just good to see you."

"Yeah I'm glad we bumped into each other," he said casually in deference to their audience as his eyes held hers and spoke the words he wished he could voice._ I missed you, I love you so much. _He saw the echo of his message in her eyes and nodded, satisfied for now. He also saw Anderson take her arm to urge her forward and added, "Good luck in there."

"Thanks," she called back over her shoulder as she walked away. He watched her until she disappeared behind the doors he had left himself just moments ago.

"You know the Commander?"a deep voice asked and Kaidan started a bit. He glanced to his side and saw that the marine he had identified as her guard had come to stand beside him and was watching Kaidan's observation of Shepard with a look of interest on his scarred young face.

"Yeah, I do," Kaidan answered vaguely and turned to head back toward the transportation center and the shuttle that was waiting to take him back to his son. At least he'd be able to tell Caleb he saw Mama this time – and not have it be a lie told to protect his son's innocent heart. He hadn't even reached the end of the long corridor before the world caught fire and burned around him.


	2. World on Fire

_A/N - I know I said no daily updates, but the last chapter (and this one) are rather short... comparatively speaking... and I wrote two chapters over the past two and a half days so I'm well ahead still! This chapter was brutal to write... as most of this fic has been... I know I love to write angst, but I'm a mom myself and thinking about the pain Shepard (and Kaidan) have to endure through these events hits really close to home :-/ I hope you'll be happy with the results...  
_

_Thank you so much for the awesome feedback Gabe97, eve, AirForceBrat, spaceconveyor, and Lyv! It's nice to have you back and hope you continue to enjoy the story :-) To everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, I see you and appreciate it too!_

_As always, all credit goes to Bioware, and my eternal thanks to StoneburntHeart for her... everything!_

* * *

The shock of the Reaper attack left Kaidan frozen in stunned shock for long seconds before the repetitive urgent cry of _'find Shepard'_ ringing in his brain finally sent him into determined motion. His eyes searched the destruction around him for either any sign of her or any able-bodied survivors he could recruit to his cause until they settled on the startled and shock-glazed face of the marine he had dismissed without thought moments before. He noted with no surprise that the man was held motionless in the same shock that had stunned Kaidan and he drew the now-familiar mantle of command around himself and felt his shoulders straighten with its resolve. He walked to the young man and hoped that he wouldn't have to ruin the effect by having to resort to a 'hey you' to get the guy's attention – why hadn't he bothered to ask his name? As he approached, the man made Kaidan's life easier and met his eyes with his own wide unfocused ones. Kaidan spoke in a tone that he knew would snap the soldier out of his stupor and into the familiar habits of following orders.

"Marine – name and rank," Kaidan barked in command - not request.

"Vega, First Lieutenant James," the marine replied, snapping to attention and awareness and Kaidan nodded to see that his sharp form of address had had the desired affect.

"Lieutenant Vega," Kaidan echoed, "We are under attack by the Reapers." _Give the facts, state them clearly, leave no opportunity for question or comment,_ Kaidan told himself. "We need to find the one person qualified to defend Earth from this enemy – Commander Shepard." _Make sure she's safe, protect her, get her out of here,_ the voice in his head added its own orders.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Vega responded and gave a salute.

"At ease, Lieutenant," Kaidan drawled and allowed a slight smile. "Let's move." He motioned toward the doors that had closed behind Shepard and cut off his last sight of her and headed out on point. They were still picking through the debris in the Committee antechamber minutes later when a voice came over Alliance com channels.

"_This is Admiral Anderson. Report in, anyone."_

Kaidan opened the com and ignored all deference of rank and responded, "Anderson? Is Shepard safe?" she had been with Anderson when he saw her last.

"_Commander Alenko, is that you?"_ Anderson replied, _"What's your status?"_

"Just outside the doors and trying to dig our way through to you, Sir," Kaidan told him, finally snapping into chain of command.

"_Belay that, Commander,"_ the Admiral barked back,_ "I can't reach the Normandy. I need you to get to her. We'll meet you at the landing zone."_

_The Normandy?_ Kaidan echoed in his thoughts even as he turned back to the spaceport to follow orders. Apparently the Admiral had a plan... he had noted the 'we' Anderson used and clung to it as his only hope that Shepard was still alive. He just hoped whatever the Admiral had in mind kept her – and the rest of them – that way.

As they ran as fast as they could given the obstacles of burning debris and collapsed structures that constantly inhibited their progress, Vega spoke casually to Kaidan.

"So _how_ do you know the Commander?" he asked in a voice filled with curiosity and a hint of reproach, Kaidan thought.

"It's a very long story, Lieutenant," Kaidan answered dismissively.

"Been standing watch at her door for six months; haven't seen you once," Vega continued. "Can't help being curious."

Kaidan paused their progress and met the other man's eyes. "Did the Commander have many visitors?" he asked neutrally.

"Well... no," Vega answered although his face reflected his confusion at Kaidan's intent. "She didn't have _any_ visitors."

"Then why make an issue that I wasn't one of them?" Kaidan pressed his point, even as he shoved aside the hurt at the thought of Shepard being all alone for six months. It didn't surprise him to hear it, but he couldn't help his reaction.

"The way you looked at her," the lieutenant answered him, "and the way she looked at you. That's not a casual thing."

"As I said, Lieutenant," Kaidan said through clenched teeth. "It's a long story. And we don't really have time for it now."

Vega had the grace to actually look rather abashed and fell in behind Kaidan as they continued forward with no further comment. They had nearly reached the Normandy's docking bay when Anderson's voice came over coms again.

"_Commander, you read me?"_ he barked.

"Yes, sir," Kaidan replied.

"I'm patching Shepard in now," Anderson said and Kaidan's heart skipped a beat before it settled into a rhythm that was lighter than before. Shepard was alive. She was safe. For now. That's all that counted.

"We're almost to the Normandy," Kaidan reported, "I've got Lieutenant Vega with me."

"_Acknowledged,"_ came the crisp reply – from Shepard not Anderson. Kaidan knew her well enough to know that she had spoken more to reassure him than to actually give a reply to his report.

The com channel went dead again and Kaidan opened the door in front of him and got his first sight of the Normandy SR2 in over six months – newly retrofitted and flying Alliance colors. He rushed forward to the frigate that had been more than just his place of work. The cargo bay doors swooshed open and welcomed him home.

**#-#-#**

Shepard tried to set aside the confusion of her swirling emotions and concentrate on nothing but the husks in front of her. She had thought after hearing Kaidan's voice and assuring his safety – and him of hers – that she'd be able to think again but instead the relief had been a short-lived respite and the wave of horror-guilt-panic-fear-anger swept back over her and threatened to drown her mere seconds later. She had spent the last six months trying to block out the memory of that blinking red clock over the doors to Project Base on that damn rock that had changed her life in ways she was still trying to understand all this time later. That clock had horrified her with its incessant blinking countdown. When she returned to Earth, effectively a war criminal in all but actual charges, that clock had haunted her. She had spent countless days trying to imagine how much time she had added to it with her brutal choice, but she had never kidded herself that it had stopped. The Reapers were coming, it was only a question of when. Having her prediction confirmed in blood and death today was a cold satisfaction that Shepard would have gladly forgone.

She took another deep breath and threw another punch at the husk that approached. They were out of ammo, but it didn't matter. She was a biotic – she was always armed – and at least in this she didn't need to think. Her body may have fallen out of the practice of regular combat, but her muscles remembered, and her instinct was sharp. The husks fell quickly although Shepard felt nothing at her victory. Just another task complete. She ran through the entrance to the decimated building to follow Anderson but a sound to her left distracted her. She noticed a ventilation shaft in that direction and approached it cautiously, noting that the vent cover had been dislodged and laid on the floor in front of the opening. She crouched down and peered into the vent and gasped in her breath when she saw the child huddled just out of her reach.

A new wave of emotion swept over her and brutally tossed her against its sharp edges. From the moment she had stood in the Committee chamber and watched the Reaper descend through the wall of glass, she had firmly shut the door in her mind and concentrated all her effort on blocking out all thought of one thing – Caleb. Fear for her son was the one emotion she couldn't force herself to function through so she had brutally cut herself off from any thought of him and gone through the motions even while sacrificing herself to the constant battery of other (lesser) emotions in order to keep that fear at bay. Now, with this other boy's frightened face this close to her but still as much out of reach as her own son, that door flew open and the fear stormed through and paralyzed her. She knew this boy wasn't Caleb – she had watched him playing in the courtyard below her cell's window often enough and recognized him because of that now – but he was someone's child. And he was scared and alone and she was someone's mother and she found herself stunned for long moments before she could speak.

"Hey, it's ok," she said softly when she finally found her voice.

"Everyone's dying," the child said with tears and fear in his voice.

She felt anger that this innocent child – he must only be a few years older than Caleb – had already had to see pain and death but she shoved it aside.

"Come here," she said to the boy, stretching out her hand and noted its trembling. She tried to keep her voice as calm and soothing as possible in an effort to not scare him any further. "I need to get you someplace safe. Take my hand," she pleaded as he continued to retreat from her, farther into the shaft.

"You can't help me," he answered in a voice that mocked the one in her head telling her the same thing.

"Shepard!" Anderson's sharp voice her drew her attention and she turned her head to see the Admiral standing just inside the door behind her. "In here," he ordered once he had her attention.

Shepard turned her head back to the child and saw the vent was empty – he had apparently crawled away while her back was turned. She wiped away the single tear that slid down her cheek and turned to follow Anderson.

**#-#-#**

Kaidan was strapped in the copilot's seat of the Normandy watching Joker's hands fly over the helm controls as he took the frigate through stomach-churning maneuvers in an effort to dodge the Reaper forces littering the sky with a combination of fascination and grim satisfaction. It never ceased to amaze him that a man so challenged by his disease that mere walking was a risky endeavor could pilot a warship with such talent and skill that put men twice his strength to shame, but he thanked whatever deity existed that the Normandy was in Flight Lieutenant Moreau's hands now. There was no doubt in his mind that they would have crashed three times over if a less capable pilot sat to his left. He stared out the viewport in horror at the devastation around them. If there was hope to be had, he couldn't see it. Earth was burning and they were in the middle of the inferno.

"_Commander Alenko,"_ Anderson's voice called over the com and startled both men, _"We're in sight of the spaceport. ETA: three minutes."_

"Roger that, sir," Kaidan acknowledged. "I'm with the Normandy, but we're taking heavy fire." His eyes took in a new sight through the viewport. "Oh God," he cried with renewed horror. "They're gonna take down that dreadnought – evasive maneuvers," he ordered Joker.

Joker's hands flew over the helm controls again as he complied and the Normandy narrowly avoided the massive explosion port-side. Only then did he lean over and deliberately and demonstratively press the button in front of Kaidan to close the com channel.

"You know that went out over coms, right, Kaidan?" Joker said with a bit of a grin.

"Oh well," Kaidan replied with a laugh at his own expense, "I suppose there are worse things Anderson could have heard."

"I still have several videos of you and Shepard from the good old Cerberus days," Joker replied.

"And I believe that Shepard still has her shotgun," Kaidan replied studying his nails casually.

"Ok, you win," Joker conceded and then turn back to the helm to avoid a new threat.

Unfortunately, the tension that they had managed to relieve crept back with a vengeance when they heard Anderson's next transmission.

"_Normandy, we're going to reroute. Do you copy?"_

Reroute was code for things had gone fubar and Kaidan felt the fear rise again for a moment until he retroactively noted the plural pronoun with relief.

Joker opened the com channel to reply but shook his head. Anderson's transmission in return was garbled.

"Coms are out," Joker reported needlessly. Kaidan nodded but continued fruitless efforts at the control panel in front of him until Anderson's voice filled the cockpit again long minutes later.

"_Normandy, this is Anderson, do you read?"_

"Admiral," Kaidan replied after changing to the new channel, "What's your location?"

"_By a downed gunship in the harbor,"_ Anderson answered, _"I'm activating its distress beacon."_

Seconds later, Kaidan and Joker noted a new red blip on the ladar. Joker nodded at the silent wave of Kaidan's hand and moved to steer the Normandy toward the red dot in compliance.

"_Send support,"_ Anderson ordered, _"We've got wounded down here."_

"Acknowledged," Kaidan tried to confirm but the com was out again, "Anderson?" he called as he worked to improve the signal. He beat his fists against the panel in angry frustration.

"You better head below-deck," Joker said flatly with no comment at the display, "We're going in hot and they'll need cover fire."

Kaidan sighed and nodded. He pulled in the reins of his temper, unstrapped, and stood to take Joker's suggestion.

**#-#-#**

They were out of ammo again, Shepard thought grimly as she ducked back into cover and narrowly avoided a rain of bullets from the batarian-shaped Reaper ahead of her. She had tried not to think of the implications – or of her complicity in them – of why these new types of ground troops looked that way. It was just another fact to file away, another thing she'd deal with later. Now, she needed to worry about whether her biotics alone would be enough to hold off the wave after wave of enemies that constantly crashed in front of them.

It was lucky that she had spent time practicing with both Jack and Kaidan in between missions during their hunt for the Collectors and she'd picked up a few new tricks – and she'd had nothing better to do for six months in detention than work on mastering them. She threw shockwave after shockwave at the advancing Reapers and gave thanks to Jack as they toppled under the force of it. She picked off unsuspecting enemies that crouched behind cover with strong Reaves and thanked Kaidan for teaching her the frightful skill. And when the coast was clear enough, she charged groups that huddled together searching for their target and finished them off by discharging her own barrier in strong nova waves and was grateful that even after six months of inactivity, she was still Commander fucking Shepard.

Finally, when she felt the exhaustion of using so much biotic power in such a short time and in such desperate circumstances threaten to overwhelm her, the welcome voice of a long-lost friend sent new energy of relief shooting through her.

"_The Calvary has arrived,"_ Joker announced.

Shepard looked up to see the Normandy's welcome sight looming on the horizon.

"Let's go," she called to Anderson and took off at a dead run for that tangible safety just ahead. When she was close enough to see the cargo bay door gaping ahead and Kaidan's oh-so-welcome figure standing guard, assault rifle in hand, she surged forward with renewed speed. There was still a sizable gap between the Normandy and the ground below but she saw Kaidan nod just before she jumped and was caught safely in his pull and lowered to the frigate's floor seconds later. It was a procedure they'd now performed so many times it was getting common. He braced his hands on her arms to steady her and she nodded in thanks.

"Welcome aboard, Shepard," he said quietly as she looked up at him.

"Thanks," she replied softly but then she turned out of his arms to look back at Anderson. He was still standing below them, watching the exchange with a grim look.

"Come on," Shepard called, urging him to jump too.

"I'm not going," Anderson replied firmly.

"What?" she questioned, sure she hadn't heard him right over the roar around them. "We need to get somewhere safe, set up an HQ, plan our strategy for counterattack," _Find my son,_ she added silently.

She read the comprehension in the eyes that met hers. He knew what she had at stake, and he was resolved anyway. She sighed and prepared to give in and ask his next orders when he spoke and shattered her world.

"I'm not going," he repeated firmly, "but you're not staying."

"What?" she cried again, and this time it was in alarm and growing dread.

"You saw those men back there," he said reminding her of the crew of the downed gunship they had encountered during their harrowing escape. "There's a million more like them, and they need a leader. But this is a fight we can't win alone. We need every species and all their ships to even have a chance at defeating the Reapers." He paused and stepped closer and lowered his voice slightly, "I need you two to go to the Council. Talk to them. Convince them to help us."

"Anderson," she argued, unwilling to hear him no matter how much sense he made, "I can't leave. I can't go to the Council."

"You have to, Shepard," Anderson replied ignoring the plea in her eyes.

"Caleb – my son – I can't leave my son," Shepard was nearly begging now, and tears filled her eyes. She felt Kaidan's hands slide onto her shoulders and felt his strength behind her in support.

"We can't leave Earth," Kaidan's voice echoed her thoughts.

Anderson studied them both for long moments and Shepard saw the pain in his eyes. He knew more than anyone how hard they had fought to finally be a family. He had been a father to her not just during the difficult time after Kaidan's death but for years before that. She loved and respected him more than as just her commanding officer, and she had given Caleb his middle name in honor of that bond. It hurt more than words could express to see her father figure determined to drive her away from all she loved now.

"I know how difficult this is for both of you," Anderson finally spoke quietly. "I know what I'm asking of you. And I wouldn't do it if there were any other options. But if we don't get help, there's no hope for any of us, not just Caleb. I'll stay here and do my best to keep your son safe, but I need the two of you to get us the support we need to drive these bastards back to the hell they came from." His voice hardened into the tone of command, "Go to the Council. Get us help. Get back here and save all of us. And that's an order."

"I don't take orders from you anymore, remember?" Shepard threw back at him in a last effort of defiance. She knew it was a losing cause, but she wasn't about to give up lightly.

"Consider yourself reinstated, _Commander_," Anderson said and then reached in his pocket and threw something in her direction.

She caught it out of instinct then opened her hands and saw she held her own dogtags – stripped of her when she had returned from the Bahak system after what she considered her greatest defeat. She sighed and gave in. She pulled the chain over her head and let the tags fall in their familiar position between her breasts. She turned her head and met Kaidan's eyes and saw his support in them. He'd accept whatever decision she made. She turned back to Anderson and nodded. This was the only other person she would trust implicitly, and he was right. She couldn't deny him, despite her own conflicting emotions.

"I'll be back for you, and I'll bring every fleet I can. Stay safe, and keep our son safe, too," she told him and saw him nod in return.

"You too, Shepard," he responded quietly then walked back the way they had come. She watched him go until a motion in the sky above him caught her attention.

She watched first with exhausted disinterest then growing relief as several Alliance shuttles flew in and retrieved the gunship crew and other stranded survivors. She noted the child from the vents climbing onto the second shuttle and her heart lifted. Perhaps there was hope for Earth. Perhaps she could save these people. Relief and hope turned to horror an instant later as the Reaper's menacing red laser sliced through the first shuttle and destroyed it and continued its destructive path into the second. Both shuttles fell from the sky, just fiery debris now, and Shepard turned away from the sight and into Kaidan's arms. She buried her face against his chest and let him hold her as she stood in passive silence. She didn't weep. The world was on fire, and no amount of tears could quench that inferno.


	3. Tightening the Screw

_A/N - so now that you know that Shenko has left their son behind on Earth, I can tell you that I debated long and hard about how I wanted to write TTK... this fic could have gone one of two ways... the more fluffy approach of having a toddler on board through ME3 events, or the angsty route of having him back on Earth and knowing that their fight against the Reapers has a personal stake... is anyone surprised with the way I chose to go? No? lol me either! You all know we're headed in to Mars here, so I'm not spoiling anything by saying that this version will go down differently than in the original... after all, this version of Shenko doesn't have residual trust issues over Cerberus :-) Hope you enjoy!  
_

_Thank you so much everyone for your awesome reception! I appreciate everyone taking their time to read, follow, favorite. AirForceBrat, Lyv, Gabe97, Meggo929, and Abionastar50 ... thank you for your reviews, your feedback is so important to me... AirForceBrat: I've read all the posts/arguments for the indoctrination theory, too, and let me just state that I've always believed the child on Earth was real, and wrote it that way here... As for the rest... well, you'll see ;-)  
_

_As always, I credit Bioware with all things ME, and I am grateful to the incredible minds that created this universe for me to play in. Furthermore, StoneburntHeart is my awesome beta, fellow fangirl, and deserves tons of credit for her help and support, too!_

* * *

Once the Normandy cleared Earth's atmosphere, Kaidan gently guided Shepard further into the cargo bay. She let go of him and stood on her own, but he was concerned by the pallor of her skin and the frighteningly dead look in her eyes and hovered close. He reached for her hand, intending to draw her to the elevator and their cabin so that they could talk in private before they arrived on the Citadel but Vega's approach caused him to drop his hand to his side. He wasn't sure how Shepard would deal with public displays of any kind – affection or not – and he'd take his cue from her for now. He realized when he saw the look on Vega's face that he might as well have stripped her in the middle of the cargo bay for all the other soldier would have noticed.

"What the hell's going on?" Vega asked, voice and posture aggressive. He moved close to Shepard and continued, "Where's Anderson? Where are we going?" but Shepard ignored him and walked mutely into the armory and picked up a piece of her N7 armor that was laid on the table. She studied it listlessly and Kaidan drew closer – in range but not touching.

"Hey!" Vega called and crowded her. Kaidan only restrained himself from speaking because he saw Shepard's head swivel to face the marine as if she had just noticed that he was there, and there was finally a spark in her eyes.

"We're leaving," she answered Vega, then turned back to her armor.

"Leaving?" Vega echoed in disbelief, "What's going on?"

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, get help for the fight," she said without looking up at him.

"Bullshit," Vega retorted, "He wouldn't order us to leave."

Ok, that was enough. Kaidan placed himself between Vega and Shepard and forced the marine to step back with a glare. "Lieutenant..." he began in warning, but Shepard placed a hand on his arm and he deferred to her.

She turned to Vega and met his eyes now. "We don't have a choice," she said and this time her voice was low and careful – anyone who knew Commander Shepard well would recognize that tone and cower before it - but Vega was new and he held her eyes defiantly. "Without help, this war's already over."

"Forget it," Vega said angrily. "Drop me off someplace, cause I'm not leaving."

"Enough!" Shepard pushed Kaidan aside and got in Vega's face. She pushed a finger into his chest and said, "I left my baby son back on Earth! Do you think I want to fucking leave? Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight?" She saw the surprise at her news register on his face for a moment although it was still set in defiance. She dropped her finger and turned back to the armor. "We're going to the Citadel," she sounded drained and lifeless again. "You want out, you can catch a ride back from there." She went back to her study of the armor and ignored him.

Vega wasn't done. As far as he was concerned, the fact that she had left a child behind did more to persuade him that she was wrong than give him a reason to follow her blindly. He turned angry eyes to Kaidan and spoke, "Commander?"

Kaidan realized he was asking for confirmation – or more likely negation – of her order from what he considered to be an officer of equal rank. That wasn't accurate – Shepard had received the small bump to Staff Commander after her actions rescuing him from Cerberus and defeating the Collectors, although the ink was barely dry on the promotion before she was stripped of rank after Bahak. Kaidan had advanced from Staff Lieutenant to Lieutenant Commander during her six month confinement – largely due to his performance training the first biotics special operatives squad. Technically, Shepard still held superior rank but since Vega had only heard him called 'Commander' Kaidan didn't blame him for the oversight. What he did blame him for was the clear insubordination and disrespect of his commanding officer. He'd give the man some leeway in face of the shocks they'd endured today but this was going too far.

"Lieutenant," he growled again right in Vega's face now, "Commander Shepard is in charge of the Normandy – and this mission. You are her subordinate. You don't have to like her; you don't have to agree with her; but you will follow her orders. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Sir," Vega replied with far less malice. He sighed and walked away, and Kaidan let him go without comment.

"Kaidan..." Shepard began quietly, and Kaidan knew he was in for a lecture for stepping in to defend her, but he frankly didn't care at the moment. Joker's voice over the com saved him.

"_Commander!"_ Joker called, _"There's an incoming transmission from Admiral Hackett."_

"Joker," Shepard responded with pleasure, "Nice to have you back in the hot seat."

"_Did you just compliment my ass, Shepard?"_ Joker bantered back, "_Because I didn't think you'd noticed."_

"Very funny, Flight Lieutenant," Shepard replied wryly, "Put the Admiral through down here, please?"

"_Aye, aye, Commander,"_ Joker replied, _"And for the record - good to have you back, too,"_ he added before he cut the com and the Admiral's distorted image appeared on the holoscreen to the right.

Shepard walked closer in a fruitless attempt to make the transmission more comprehensible.

"_Shepard... sustained heavy losses,"_ the Admiral said between bursts of static, _"...force was overwhelming... There's no way we can defeat them conventionally..."_

"Anderson's already ordered us to the Citadel, to talk to the Council," Shepard reassured him.

"_First, I need you... iance outpost on Mars... ore we lose control of the system," _Hackett replied.

"Yes, Sir," Shepard acknowledged the order with a salute.

"_...been researching the Prothean Archives with Dr. T'Soni,"_ Hackett continued as if he hadn't heard her response. _"...found a way to stop the Reapers... only way to stop them... in contact soon. Hackett out."_ The transmission cut off.

"Joker, set a course for Mars Archives," Shepard called over the com and then walked back to the table to begin suiting up.

Kaidan moved next to her and grabbed pieces of armor for himself. "Wonder what Liara's doing on Mars or what we'll find there," he mused aloud as he worked.

Vega wandered over to them. "This is _loco_," he muttered.

Shepard ignored Vega and answered Kaidan. "I don't know yet, but if it helps us win this war..."

"Yeah," he agreed. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get back."

"Yeah," she echoed, meeting his eyes. "Grab your gear," she muttered to Vega. "Are you qualified to fly the Kodiak?"

"Yeah," he answered as he began to attach armor.

"Good, then you're hired. I need another squad member," she turned her back so Kaidan could finish the fastenings there and then she helped him with his. She walked to the weapons locker and began to peruse her choices, which left Vega with no choice than to turn his back to Kaidan in a silent plea for assistance with his armor. Kaidan took the opportunity to speak low over the man's shoulder.

"If I catch you being insubordinate again," he growled, tightening a buckle just a little harder than necessary for emphasis, "You won't have to decide to leave when we get to the Citadel. I'll send you back to Earth myself - on the tip of my boot. Are we clear, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Commander," Vega replied and his tone was flat and proper, but not cowed.

"Good," Kaidan said and headed to the weapons locker himself.

"Need a ruler?" Shepard asked him in a conversational tone when he was next to her.

Kaidan just laughed and reached for a rifle instead.

**#-#-#**

The trip to Mars at FTL speed actually took less time than dressing in full combat armor and performing standard weapons checks, so they had been in orbit for approximately twenty minutes before they boarded the shuttle. Once they were clear of the Normandy, Joker's voice came over the com.

"_I've been trying to reach the Archives on secure channels,"_ he reported, _"No one's answering."_

"Any sign of Reaper activity?" Shepard questioned.

"_Negative,"_ Joker replied.

"_The base appears to be online,"_ EDI added, _"It's possible the inhabitants were evacuated."_

"We'll know soon enough," Kaidan put in.

Shepard nodded. "Be ready, Joker, just in case," she ordered.

"_Roger that, Normandy out,"_ Joker called back and cut the com.

Kaidan and Shepard moved to the back of the shuttle as Vega executed the landing. The shuttle doors opened and the Red Planet's dust swept in to greet them. They stepped out and into a massive wind storm.

"Damn, that's a huge storm," Vega called. "Looks a lot bigger in person than it did on ladar."

"Pretty average for Mars, actually," Kaidan commented drily.

"I'm glad you're so optimistic," Vega shot back, still stinging from their confrontation.

"We've got Reapers invading Earth, the station here is offline... a little dust storm seems like the least of our worries," Kaidan replied.

"Ok, gentlemen," Shepard cut in, "We have a job to do, let's not kill each other doing it."

"Yes, ma'am," they both replied with equally sheepish grins.

The wind buffeted them and made progress slow but they reached the stairs leading to the Archives entrance in due course. At the bottom of the stairs, they spotted an armored corpse bearing Alliance insignias. Kaidan scanned the body with his omni-tool.

"Sergeant Reeves, Alliance Army," he reported as the data came up on his screen. "No defensive wounds," he noted from the medical report.

"Something's not right here," Vega commented warily.

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed. "Let's keep a low profile till we know what's going on."

They advanced carefully toward the entrance maintaining radio silence until they saw a gruesome tableau unfold below the ridge they crested. Cerberus troops had Alliance personnel on their knees, and were executing them with pistol shots to the head. Shepard roared and took off at a charge down the incline towards them.

"So much for low profile?" Vega commented as he raised his rifle and prepared to follow. By the time he and Kaidan reached the bottom of the hill, the Cerberus forces were all dead at Shepard's feet.

"What is Cerberus doing here?" Kaidan wondered aloud.

"Good question," Shepard replied as she crept forward carefully, using the truck in front of her as a shield. Her hud indicated three more dots just in front of the facility entrance. The dots were red – foe not friend.

"You don't know?" Vega asked in response to Kaidan's question. "Didn't you work for Cerberus?"

"No, James, he did _not_," Shepard stated concisely. "And even if he had, that was months ago, he'd have no idea what they're doing here now."

"Fair enough," Vega replied easily. Shepard charged before he could speak again.

Once again, Shepard cleared the remaining enemies without help. When they walked into the facility and closed the doors behind them to repressurize the room, Shepard removed her helmet and displayed her huge grin. Apparently she had enjoyed being back in combat. Kaidan just shook his head. She pressed the button to deploy the elevator and the platform underneath them groaned and began its slow descent.

"So, you two wanna explain how you know each other?" Vega asked casually.

"It's a-" they both began to speak simultaneously then broke off with matching grins.

"Long story," Vega finished drily. "So I've heard. Hey, Lola, how come you didn't tell me you had a kid?"

"Not something you share with your guard – even if he is your poker buddy," she answered in an equally dry tone.

"Lola?" Kaidan echoed in confusion.

"James has a thing for nicknames," Shepard replied with a grin, "Don't you, James?"

"Yeah," he answered sheepishly, "Sometimes people's names just don't fit them."

"Or sometimes you have trouble remembering them?" Kaidan guessed with his own grin now.

James didn't reply but the blush coloring his face told Kaidan all he needed to know. He suddenly liked the marine a lot better.

**#-#-#**

After they reunited with Liara and heard about her discovery of plans for a Prothean device, Shepard sent James back to the shuttle and led them through several skirmishes with Cerberus troops. They found a small security station which yielded a control panel. Unfortunately, the pedway access had been locked out and they'd have to progress through a construction area and onto the roof to advance further. They stepped out of the airlock and into the heart of the storm. The wind was gusting and swirling now and it disrupted their coms with Vega and the Normandy. Shepard gave a growl of frustration and climbed to the next level. The airlock door stood open before them.

"This airlock shouldn't be open," Liara commented unnecessarily.

"Doesn't look like it was forced," Kaidan added as he studied the lock and door frame.

"No, you have to override security protocols," Liara confirmed.

"I don't like this," Shepard muttered. "Let's be careful."

They crept forward and into the catwalk leading to the tramway. Glass enclosed them, but it was dark and they employed the lights on their guns to illuminate the interior. A second after Shepard's light came on with an audible click, she wanted to turn it back off. People clothed in casual dress or wearing lab coats were dead on the floor in front of her, frozen in some macabre parody of life. She approached the first body warily. She was a soldier and the face of death wasn't a stranger to her, but these people were enemy combatants, nor were their corpses armed or armored. They hadn't died of bullet wounds or shrapnel. They were regular people living their lives who became collateral damage in some elaborate Cerberus scheme she didn't yet comprehend. It turned her stomach and she felt her hatred of the organization soar to new levels.

"Someone vented the air from this room while they were still here," Shepard said quietly.

"Looks like they died trying to claw their way out," Kaidan added grimly.

"This is brutal, even by Cerberus standards," Liara put in.

Shepard's and Kaidan's eyes met through their visors. The silent communication was mutual – Liara still had a lot to learn about the world in general and Cerberus in particular, but they were unwilling to burst her naive bubble. They shrugged and headed down the steps to the center of the room.

At the bottom of the stairs, chatter in the room adjacent caught Shepard's attention. "Flashlights," she hissed to the team as she extinguished hers and ducked into cover. They saw figures form and approach through the glass windows lining the back of the room. Shepard tensed and Kaidan noticed and placed a hand on her arm to still her.

"Charging through a glass wall is a little too crazy – even for you," he muttered. "Allow me..." he raised his rifle and shot a round of bullets, shattering the glass and dropping the first of three targets.

Shepard took off a second later and dispatched the other two with a charge and nova. They regrouped in the new area and discovered another security station. Shepard motioned to Kaidan to cover them and he stood guard outside as Shepard and Liara wandered into the small cubicle.

"We need to pressurize the room first," Liara muttered as she worked at the control panel. She found the right buttons and air hissed through the vents. "There we go," she said with satisfaction as they removed their helmets to breathe the fresh air. "We have access to the labs now, they'll take us right to the tram station and the Archives."

"Hey, there's a recording of what happened here," Kaidan alerted them from his position near the door. He pointed to the monitor he'd been studying – the video frozen on one frame.

"That's Dr. Eva Core," Liara said as she moved to the monitor and studied the picture on the screen. "She got here about a week ago." Liara pressed the button below the monitor to restart the video and they watched in horror as Dr. Core shot and killed a scientist then opened the airlock to release the atmosphere and kill the rest.

"I guess we know how Cerberus got in," Shepard hissed as the video log ended.

"I should have realized it when I met her," Liara said softly, "I was just so focused on finding a way to stop the Reapers."

Shepard glanced up at Kaidan and he wandered away at her silent request – give the girls room to talk. She placed a hand on Liara's arm to get her attention.

"Liara, stopping the Reapers is the only thing we should be focused on right now," Shepard said in a voice that was both soft and firm, "It's not your fault."

"But what if we're wrong?" Liara said, doubt filling her voice, "What if there's no way to stop them? What if these are our last days and we spend them scurrying around trying to solve a problem we can't fix?"

"I can't let myself believe that, Liara," Shepard said and now her voice was low and hurt. Liara met her eyes with a sharp glance. Shepard sighed. "Kaidan and I have a son. We had to leave him on Earth. I don't even know-" her voice broke and she had to look away.

This time, Liara placed a hand on Shepard's arm. "Goddess, Shepard, I had no idea," Liara murmured. "That's a terrible burden - I'm so sorry..."

Shepard met Liara's eyes again and this time her mask was firmly in place and her emotions were hidden. "That's why I fight, Liara. That's why I have to believe we'll win. And if what you found here is going to help, then we need to get to it. No more doubts or questions," she finished firmly.

Liara nodded and her shoulders stiffened in resolve. "Of course, Shepard," she replied.

Shepard nodded and led the way out of the station. As she passed Kaidan, he placed a hand gently on her shoulder for just a moment then followed. She got the message. He had heard her words to Liara, and he felt the same way.

**#-#-#**

After dispatching several more groups of Cerberus troops and dodging a nasty laser turret, they finally arrived at the tram station – their last hurdle before the Archives. Liara sat down at the console and pressed a button to display a video log of Eva Core locking down the trams and cutting the cameras.

"Looks like they've made it to the Archives," she muttered.

"And I doubt they'll just send us a tram," Kaidan added.

"Can you override it?" Shepard asked.

Liara shook her head. "The Archives are on a separate network. We're completely locked out."

"Not if we can find a short-range communicator – helmet to helmet," Kaidan corrected.

"And we convince them that we're on their side?" Shepard guessed, following his logic.

"Exactly," Kaidan confirmed and wandered off to the tram station. Shepard watched him go. She turned back to Liara who was watching Shepard.

"What?" she asked in response to the raised-brow look Liara was giving her.

"Kaidan has become very... capable," she said with what Shepard judged to be female interest in her voice.

"Oh, I think you had your nose too buried in your books to notice before, Liara," Shepard replied with a grin. "He's always been... capable."

"Perhaps you're right," Liara said with an answering smile before she turned back to her console.

Shepard wandered off and found Kaidan waiting for her. He was standing near a body of a Cerberus trooper, but watching the doorway for her. She made it to his side before he spoke.

"Shepard, about what you said to Liara..." she cut him off with a raised hand.

She smiled sadly and said, "How is he?"

Kaidan had no trouble interpreting her meaning – she wanted to know about Caleb. They hadn't had a chance to speak before now, and he wasn't surprised that their son was still on her mind. He smiled himself, a soft curve of his lips that showed pride and love. "He's amazing... Growing so fast," he said softly. He met her eyes and held them and added, "He misses his Mama."

"I miss him so much, too," she replied. "I was afraid he'd forget me..." she trailed off sadly.

"I'd never let him forget you," Kaidan replied. "I haven't forgotten you either."

"Kaidan..." she said and he knew she was about to list her reasons for keeping them away but he cut her off and continued.

"No, Shepard... It's... it's ok. I don't blame you – not anymore," he added to be completely honest, "There are just too many things more important right now."

"Yeah," she said in agreement and her voice and eyes were sad. She broke their eye contact and cast her eyes down.

"Hey," Kaidan said to get her attention back. When she raised sad eyes back to his, he continued, "We're in this together. We'll get this done and get home to our son – together."

She nodded and he saw that her shoulders were straighter and her jaw was set, but her eyes were still sad. "Let's put your plan in motion, shall we?" she asked rhetorically as she bent to the corpse at their feet.

Kaidan crouched beside her and turned his mind back to the mission at hand.

**#-#-#**

Kaidan's plan worked like a charm – although the gruesome discovery of the trooper's metamorphosis had been startling and a brutal reminder that Cerberus was capable of anything - and they reached the Archives by tram several minutes later. It hadn't been without Cerberus resistance – and more were waiting outside the Archives door, but the three of them knew each other and their fighting skills well from years of practice and nothing Cerberus threw at the squad presented any real challenge. They entered the vast central chamber of the Archives and Liara stepped forward to search for the information they needed. Shepard nodded to Kaidan to tell him to guard the perimeter while she followed.

Just as she reached Liara, a flash of light to her right caught her attention. She turned to it and stared in shock as the holo of the Illusive Man scanned in before her eyes.

"Commander Shepard," he said as he exhaled smoke from his ever-present cigarette, "So we meet again."

"Can't say its a pleasure, Illusive Man," Shepard growled, "or a surprise."

"Fascinating race, the Protheans," the Illusive Man spoke, apropos to nothing. "They left all of this for us to discover, but we've squandered it. The Alliance has known about the Archives for more than thirty years, and what have they done with it?"

"What do you want? Why is Cerberus here?" Shepard demanded.

"What I've always wanted," the Illusive Man replied. "The data in these artifacts holds the key to solving the Reaper threat."

"I've heard your _solution_," Shepard spat back with acid, "You don't want to defeat them, you want to control them. Is that why you've turned your people into monsters?"

"Hardly monsters," the Illusive Man countered, "They're being improved." He spoke with all the fervor of a religious zealot and it sent chills up Shepard's spine. "That's what separates us, Shepard. Where you see a means to destroy, I see a way to control – to dominate and harness the Reaper's power. Imagine how strong humanity could be!"

"I've heard this song before, and I'm tired of it!" Shepard cried. "Earth is under siege, we don't have time to play games."

"You've always been shortsighted. Hasty," the Illusive Man tsked. "Your destruction of the Collector base proved that."

"I destroyed that base because I wasn't going to be your tool anymore," Shepard countered quietly, "And because I knew I couldn't trust you with the information."

"This isn't your fight any longer," the Illusive Man argued. "You can't defeat the Reapers – even with the Prothean data."

"I've beaten the odds before," she said grimly, "I'll do it again."

"More likely you'll just die trying," he said in resignation. "Destroying the Reapers is a wasted opportunity."

"You've gone too far!" she cried, "And I'm tired of wasting my time arguing with you. Either get on board or get the hell out of my way, but I will destroy them!"

"I don't expect you to understand, Shepard," he replied and some anger showed in his cool tone finally, "And I'm certainly not looking for your approval. You were a tool, an agent with a singular purpose. You failed me. And like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over."

"Enough talk!" Shepard cried. "Liara..." she added – an order to cut the transmission.

"Don't interfere in my plans, Shepard," the Illusive Man said threateningly as the holo began to fade, "I won't warn you again."

"Shepard!" Liara cried from behind her and Shepard turned to her. "The data, it's not here. It's being erased."

"Damn it!" Shepard cursed, already having added two and two and gotten that the Illusive Man had just been stalling her while he stole the data. "How's he doing it?"

"It's local – someone's uploading the information," Liara answered.

"Shepard!" Kaidan cried from the corner of the room and got both their attention. "She's got the data!"

Shepard saw Dr. Eva Core knock Kaidan to the ground and take off, her omni-tool still glowing around her arm. "Check Kaidan, I'll follow her," she cried to Liara and took off with a biotic-boosted charge after the Cerberus agent.

Even with her biotics Core was too fast, and the best Shepard could do was stay on her heels as she pursued the woman to the roof of the facility. She tried her shotgun every time she closed distance but her hud indicated that Core's shields didn't waver, so she eventually gave up and concentrated on staying close and dodging the attacks Core sent her way. She called for James and the Normandy on the com, hoping they'd be able to head the agent off on the roof and save the precious data she carried.

Kaidan and Liara caught up with Shepard just as they reached the roof and they all saw the Cerberus shuttle coming in to pick up their agent. She jumped to the hovering shuttle and just out of their reach.

"She's getting away," Shepard cried in despair.

"I got this one," James' reply came over the com and they watched as the Cerberus shuttle took off and the Normandy's closed on it. James didn't fire – instead he rammed the shuttle he was piloting directly into the Cerberus one and knocked them both out of the sky – and towards the three of them.

"Look out!" Kaidan cried and threw himself over Shepard to shield her.

She was completely engulfed under his larger frame and only heard the crashes around them. When the dust settled, he sat up and helped her up as well. They looked around and saw Liara was safe too. James crawled out of the damaged shuttle, limping a bit but otherwise unharmed.

"Normandy's en route," he reported. "They'll be here soon."

"We need the data," Liara called, indicating the wrecked Cerberus shuttle.

Kaidan nodded and approached it. Before he could get there, they heard banging sounds and the shuttle door flew open. Eva Core – her human skin burned off by the fiery crash and revealing her true mech nature – stood in the open doorway. Kaidan drew his pistol and began to fire, but the mech was undeterred. It closed on him, grabbed him by the face plate of his helmet and lifted him. It dangled him in mid-air as Shepard watched in horror. She had drawn her own pistol but Kaidan's body blocked any shot. She couldn't take the chance.

"Orders?" the mech spoke into her com and paused for a moment for reply. When she got it, she moved, faster than anyone could react, and slammed Kaidan into the side of the shuttle. His head hit hard. He fell inert to the ground. Shepard roared and charged the mech, hitting it and bouncing off its shields. She raised a fist glowing blue with biotic energy and pummeled it – over and over – until the mech finally dropped to the ground. It was no longer functional, but that didn't register with Shepard. She continued to beat it, even while it was on the ground.

James finally hauled her off it, and took a punch to the gut himself for his efforts. He finally subdued Shepard in his strong arms and Shepard finally noticed that Liara was speaking – yelling, actually.

"The data!" Liara was saying. "Shepard, we need the data!"

Shepard nodded and ran to Kaidan. He was so still. Unconscious, her hud told her, along with a list of other medical terms she didn't read. She didn't want to know. The only thing that mattered was the indicator that told her he was still alive. She knelt over him and placed a light hand against his helmet. The world ceased to exist except for the man bleeding on the ground below her.

"Kaidan..." she said and her voice broke. The sound of it was enough to spur her on. She couldn't lose him – never again. She had to get him out of here, and somewhere safe. He had to live. She wouldn't live through it if he died again. It wasn't a possibility she'd consider. She stretched her arms under him and heaved with all her strength and somehow managed to get him over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. She stood under his weight and began to walk to where she now saw the Normandy hovered. She noted that James had slung the mech over his shoulder in the same fashion, but the sight meant nothing. Her world in that moment was Kaidan. When the Reapers began to appear in the sky around them, she felt no new emotion. Nothing could shock or hurt her anymore than she already was. Still, she quickened her steps to the Normandy – for Kaidan. Every breath she took in those moments, she took for Kaidan. She stepped into the Normandy's welcome embrace and the doors closed behind her.


	4. Here Without You

_A/N - I struggled a lot when I wrote this chapter... in fact, I got 1500 words into it three times and deleted the whole thing and started over :-/ It was difficult to strike the right balance I think... Even Shepard in the game is visibly affected through these events, and TTT Shepard has much more on the line and her very life experiences have softened her and shaped her into a different person... Still, the first few tries, I had her either emotionally crippled or completely numb... I'm finally happy with this version, and I hope you will be, too, and not consider her OOC... I'm posting today so I can leave you on a more positive note for the weekend... I'll be back Monday with another update :-)  
_

_Thanks for your feedback, Lyv, Gabe97, Meggo929, eve, and Infiltrat0rN7... I appreciate the encouragement, share your pain, and I'm glad you're willing to give me some leeway as I play around with the events of ME3... there's not the overwhelming desire to 'fix' in TTK as there was with TTT, but some adjustments are necessary XD To everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thank you, too! _

_As always, I credit Bioware with all things ME and give all my thanks, love, hugs, and favorite Kaidan quotes to my awesome beta, StoneburntHeart_

* * *

Shepard stared at the closed bay doors in a numb shock that even Kaidan's weight over her shoulder couldn't penetrate for long seconds until Vega's approach and his offer to take Kaidan from her sent her into motion. She shook her head to decline his assistance and ran for the elevator with the intent of getting Kaidan to the med-bay. She knew it was empty – no need for a doctor on board during the Normandy retrofits – but at least it was equipped. She hoped. She barely noted that Liara and James – with his own burden still slung over his shoulder – accompanied her. When the elevator doors swooshed back open and deposited them on Deck 3, she ran for the med-bay even as she raised her voice and called for Joker.

"Joker, get us to the Citadel, _now_," she cried in a harsh voice that contrasted with the oh-so-gentle way she lowered Kaidan to the first table inside the med-bay door. She saw Liara nod with approval at her orders and realized that her friend was pleased that Shepard was keeping her mind on the mission and thought that her orders were motivated by a desire to get to the council. Only Shepard knew that she had given that destination out of desperate need to get Kaidan help, ASAP. She watched as Liara hooked Kaidan up to the auto-life support machines with a skill that she hadn't realized her friend possessed and breathed a sigh of relief when the equipment began to beep slowly. He was alive – his heart was still beating – and she had audible proof now. She smiled gratefully to Liara and sank to her knees beside Kaidan. As she reached out to touch his bruised face gently, she spoke without taking her eyes from him.

"See what you and EDI can find from that _thing_," she told Liara, knowing that the asari would understand that she meant the mech that James had slung on a nearby table and stood guard over now. She knew he was there - and it was there - but she didn't look in that direction. She didn't think she could face it, though she logically knew it was just a machine, just a dead piece of plastic and metal. Instead she concentrated only on Kaidan's face and on the comforting mechanical beep of his heartbeat.

"Commander, there is an incoming call on the secondary QEC," EDI's cool tones reported, "I believe it is Admiral Hackett. I'll put him through to the com room."

Shepard's head shot up. She was torn in a moment of indecision until she met James' eyes and he smiled gently, easily reading the cause of her hesitation.

"It's ok, Lola," he said softly, "You and Liara go talk to the Admiral, I'll stay with the Commander."

Shepard nodded gratefully and stood. She motioned Liara out before her and headed to the com room at a run. She had one thing uppermost on her mind: the sooner she got this done, the sooner she could get back to Kaidan.

**#-#-#**

When she reached the com room, Hackett's voice was garbled and distorted by interference again and Shepard sighed in frustration.

"Can you clean this up, EDI?" she asked impatiently and seconds later the Admiral's holo bathed her in its blue glow. Liara came to stand beside her and they watched as Hackett's scarred face took shape before them.

"Commander, did you get to the Archives?" Hackett asked.

"I was there," Shepard answered, "And so was the Illusive Man."

"I was worried Cerberus might try something," the Admiral replied as he brought his hand to his chin contemplatively. "Did you get the data?"

Shepard turned to Liara who nodded. "We got most of it," Liara confirmed. "He downloaded some before we could stop him."

"What have you learned? Was it worth the effort?" Hackett questioned.

Shepard listened in silence as Liara explained their findings of plans for a Prothean device – a weapon that may end this conflict – and the Admiral requested that they forward the blueprints for his own study. She stepped back in to take over the briefing.

"Kaidan was injured," she informed the Admiral, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice and knowing that she failed when she saw Hackett wince in sympathy. "We're taking him to the Citadel for treatment."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Shepard," the Admiral replied, his usually gruff tone soft. She knew the Admiral was aware of her relationship with Kaidan, as was most of Alliance high command. She expected reproach or criticism for the breach in regulations of having two officers in a personal relationship in the same chain of command, but instead Hackett surprised her when he continued in the same soft tone, "All of us are aware of the sacrifice you and Kaidan are making for us. Our best wishes for his recovery. But you know this is just the beginning, Shepard," he finished with a note of warning.

"Yes, Sir," and although the warning stung, she knew what he was saying. It was her duty to lead this fight – trillions of lives depended on her – and she needed to stay strong and to rise above her pain and grief. She stiffened her shoulders and saluted crisply. "I won't let you down."

"I know that, Commander," the Admiral said, and now his voice was all business. "While you're on the Citadel, talk to the Council, show them what you've found. With luck, they'll give you all the support we need."

"And if they don't?" Shepard countered. The Council wasn't known for being all that helpful, after all.

"Do whatever it takes to get them on board," Hackett answered. She saluted again and he returned it. "I'll be in touch soon. Hackett out," he said as he ended the conference.

Shepard stepped out of the com room and began to head back to the med-bay, but Liara's voice behind her caused her to pause.

"We'll have more information by the time we reach the Citadel – EDI is extracting everything she can from the Cerberus machine," Liara told her. She paused and asked, "The Admiral's right – it's going to get worse soon, isn't it?"

Shepard was having a hard time imaging what worse could be – and her thoughts shied away from the very idea anyway. Still, she turned and faced Liara, knowing that her friend was the first of many that would be looking to her for leadership and support over the course of this war.

"Unless this device you found can stop the Reapers, yeah," she confirmed.

"I've looked at the data. This weapon could be the answer," Liara pleaded eagerly. "If we can build it," she added in a softer tone. She studied Shepard's face and saw the indecision and doubt. "You don't believe it?"

"You weren't there when they attacked Earth, Liara," Shepard said flatly. "It's hard to believe one weapon invented 50,000 years ago could stop them. I gave up believing in fairy tales long ago."

"What are our options?" Liara persisted. "You know we can't win this conventionally." When Shepard didn't respond, she went on, "Isn't it worth trying at least?"

"I'll try anything if it means saving Earth," Shepard replied fiercely, and they both knew she meant 'saving Caleb.' Liara nodded and Shepard added, "I'm going back to Kaidan, make sure you have the information ready to present to the Council."

"I'm sure the Council will see the need to help," Liara replied with naive innocence.

"It'll be a hell of a short war if they don't," Shepard replied bitterly, too exhausted to bolster Liara's idealism. She turned and headed to the med-bay.

**#-#-#**

Shepard remained in the med-bay, holding Kaidan's hand and watching over him protectively, for most of the journey to the Citadel. She left only once – and briefly – when Liara and James finally convinced her to change out of her armor. When she returned, showered and dressed in Alliance-regulation shipboard BDUs, she breathed a sigh of relief that nothing had changed in her brief absence and took up her vigil again without comment. She was still there when the team of med-techs rushed in with a stretcher and transferred Kaidan to it before they began to bear their cargo to the Normandy's airlock. She followed with quickened steps, trying not to lose sight of Kaidan and to ignore the constant stream of medical jargon the team shot back and forth to each other all the way off the Normandy and nearly to the Citadel's docking bay elevator before one of the techs finally turned to her and gave her a stern but sympathetic look.

"You can't go with us, ma'am," the turian told her, "You'll just be in our way. We're taking him to Huerta Memorial – you can see him once the docs say its ok," he added as the elevator doors closed behind him.

It was only the thought of doing more harm than good to Kaidan that had caused her to pause at his words and she stood motionless staring at the closed doors until a voice behind her calling her name brought her back to reality and she turned to face the source of the sound.

"Captain Bailey?" she asked in pleased recognition at the man who had hailed her.

"Yeah," the man replied gruffly, sticking out his hand for a firm shake. "Though its 'Commander' now," he added with some disgust.

"Congratulations?" she replied with a smile and question in her voice.

"Eh, thanks," Bailey replied sourly, "Now half my job is dealing with political bullshit and escorting dignitaries around. No offense."

"None taken," Shepard replied with a smile. She'd rather deal with his honest irascibility than the polite and condescending smiles of politicians any day. That thought made her add, "You're here to take me to the Council?"

"I'm here to tell you the Council is expecting you, but they're dealing with their own... problems," Bailey reported singsong in a voice that indicated he was reporting the message verbatim – nearly, then he added in his own more usual tone, "With the war and everything." Then he went back to recitation again, "They apologize for the inconvenience and blah, blah, blah. Meet them at Udina's office. They'll be ready soon enough."

Shepard winced at the reminder that Donnel Udina was now the human councilor to the Citadel. In some ways, she still believed that Anderson had stepped down from the position due to her actions in the Bahak system and she had added it to the tally of crimes that she committed that day, no matter how much Anderson protested that the Alliance was his real home and he had resigned out of frustration and exhaustion with the politics to return to his more familiar role of military leadership. She just hoped that Udina would be a different person than she remembered after his two years serving under Anderson.

"You might have time to go by the medical center and check on your, uh, _friend_," Bailey added with tact and intuition he must have learned since his promotion.

"Thanks, Bailey, I'll do that," Shepard replied with a grateful smile.

"You go on ahead," Liara urged, having observed the conversation silently until now, "I'll head up to Udina's office now."

Bailey nodded at the asari. "One of my men can show you the way," he told Liara. He turned to James and asked, "You?"

"I'm just a tourist today," James replied, all innocence, "I'll try not to get in any trouble."

"And since there's no shuttles around to crash, I believe him," Shepard added with a pointed look at James, who blushed and avoided her eyes.

Shepard watched as Bailey was called away for 'the other half of his job' and then headed to the elevator herself. She was desperate to get back to Kaidan.

**#-#-#**

Shepard rushed through the doors to Huerta Memorial Hospital and blatantly abused her Spectre status to bypass the solicitous woman at the front desk who tried to stop her progress. Her eyes searched the lobby, looking for access to the patient wing and Kaidan and settled on a familiar figure with surprise. She approached the woman clothed in white and spoke her name to get her attention.

"Dr. Chakwas!" Shepard cried with pleased relief. Here was someone with whom she could trust Kaidan - and someone who would be honest with her.

"Commander Shepard," Dr. Chakwas replied with a smile that reflected her sympathy and some relief as well.

"Are you taking care of Kaidan?" Shepard asked, and her voice trembled a bit over his name.

"Actually, Dr. Michel is in charge of his case, but I heard that he had been brought here and I came to check on his progress," Chakwas replied in her crisp tones.

"How is he?" Shepard asked with trepidation coloring her voice.

"Fairly well, surprisingly," Chakwas reported. "He's stable now, though he hasn't regained consciousness. But Dr. Michel is very optimistic about his recovery."

Shepard released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in a long relieved sigh. "Good," she replied.

"I'm sure you're eager to see him, Commander," Dr. Chakwas began then she hesitated and seemed uncertain before she plunged forward, "But if I might beg a moment of your time first?"

"Yes?" Shepard replied questioningly. She shoved aside her impatience and waited for the doctor to continue. As much as she wanted to see Kaidan and verify for herself that he was going to be alright, she truly liked and respected the doctor, and she was grateful to her for all of her service – not the least of which had been the surgery to free him from Cerberus' manipulative leash. She owed Dr. Chakwas a debt of allegiance that went beyond any personal concerns.

"I know that you're back in command of the Normandy," Chakwas went on, "and I'm sure that the Alliance didn't have your med-bay staffed during retrofits... I've been assigned to a research lab here on the Citadel during the time you were in confinement. It's rewarding work, but..."

"But you're only truly happy when you're on board a starship patching up injured soldiers that are too stupid or slow to dodge enemy bullets," Shepard complete the thought with a grin. "The Normandy would be happy to have you, Dr. Chakwas," she continued. "_I'd_ be happy to have you."

"Thank you, Commander," Dr. Chakwas replied with a relieved smile, "I'll pack my things and be ready when you depart."

"Docking Bay D-24," Shepard called over her shoulder as she headed to the patient wing access door Dr. Chakwas indicated.

**#-#-#**

Shepard found Kaidan's room rather easily – after several more strong-arm Spectre tactics – and opened the door eagerly, but then she paused just inside it. The sight of him silent and still on the bed, still bruised and bloody from his injuries and hooked to machines she couldn't begin to recognize stole her breath and caused her to hesitate until it returned in a whoosh. She covered the short distance between the door and his bed, sank into the chair beside it, and took his hand in hers. He was cold, she thought, and searched for a blanket. When she didn't find one, she drew his hand – still wrapped in hers – to her face and placed it flat against her own cheek to transfer her warmth to him.

"Oh, Kaidan..." she started as the sound of her own voice seemed too loud in the stillness, even with the mechanical sounds of the medical apparatus filling it too. She laughed a little at her own skittishness then continued speaking in a softer voice, "I don't know if you can hear me... But there are some things I should say... I _need_ to say." She paused for another breath and continued, "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for keeping you away for so long. I promise you, if you come back to me..." she had to break off as her voice broke. She cleared her throat and went on, "You fight this. You live. For me. For us," she told him, her voice strong with with command. "And then I'll never push you away again."

She let their still-joined hands drop to his side on the hospital bed and she bent her head over them. Hot tears that she didn't notice she was shedding baptized both their skin with her pain and fear. After long moments, the tears stopped and she spoke again, though she didn't lift her head.

"Kaidan... We need you," she said softly before she corrected herself, "**I** need you. Come back to me, please..." she trailed off on that plea and stayed silent and still in that position – bent over their joined hands until a gentle hand on her shoulder caused her to start and look up into the large black eyes of an old friend.

"Thane?" she breathed in pleased surprise.

"Siha," he greeted her simply, though that one word conveyed all his feelings – his own surprise and pleasure at their reunion, sympathy for her pain, and even regret, she thought.

"Why are you here?" Shepard asked in puzzlement, not sure if she meant in Kaidan's room, the hospital, or the Citadel in general.

"My condition has worsened to the point where I require daily medical care," Thane replied, his voice more hoarse and breathless than she remembered, "I tried to contact you when you when I heard Earth was attacked, but I couldn't get through. I came here to get help and to be close to Kolyat."

Since the reminder of Thane's son was enough to bring Caleb to the forefront of Shepard's mind and cause fresh tears to flow, Thane's sympathetic look turned to first shock then concern. "Siha?" he questioned her breathlessly.

"Kaidan and I have a son, too," she replied softly with pain and loss causing her words to come out low and harsh. "We had to leave him on Earth when the Reapers attacked."

"May Arashu watch over him and keep him safe until you return," Thane prayed for her softly, "And may Amonkira guide your hand and lead you to all those who would cause him harm." Thane paused and hesitated before he went on, "Siha, I hesitate to interrupt your privacy with your loved one in this time of pain and need, but your friends asked me to retrieve you. The Council is ready to speak with you."

"No, it's ok, Thane," Shepard replied as she stood and squared her shoulders to prepare them for the burden of duty. "I need to speak with them, too."

Thane nodded and took her place in the chair beside Kaidan. "I will watch over him for you, Siha. Your enemies may seek to harm you through him."

"Thank you, Thane," Shepard replied, pleased and touched.

"I am near the end of my life," he answered simply. "It is a good time to be generous."

She nodded and left without comment or further worry. Kaidan was in good hands - ones that she trusted.

**#-#-#**

"Commander," Udina's asari secretary greeted when Shepard walked into the office, "Councilor Udina said you were on the way. If you'll follow me, the Council is already in session."

Shepard nodded and followed the efficient woman as she led her into the elevator that climbed the Citadel Tower. Once the interminably long ride ceased and the doors whooshed open to deposit her outside the Council chambers, Shepard pushed forward and rushed to join Liara on the dais as angry voices of debate filled the vast chamber around her.

"We've got our own problems, Councilor," she heard the turian representative – Sparatus – say, "Earth's not in this alone."

"But Earth was the first Council world hit," Udina argued, "By all accounts, it faces the brunt of the attack."

"By your reports," the salarian councilor, Valern, put in.

"The reports are accurate," Shepard broke in, "Earth was attacked – by the Reapers." She saw all Council eyes turn to her and that she had their attention. "And its just the beginning," she added ominously. "We need your help – everything you can spare," she pleaded.

"Each of us faces a similar situation," the asari councilor, Tevos, countered, though not without sympathy. "Even now, the Reapers are pressing our on borders. If we lend you our strength to help Earth, our own worlds will fall."

"We must fight this enemy together!" Udina argued, and Shepard found herself surprised to look on her old adversary with approval for once.

"And so we should just follow you to Earth?" Valern shot back with scorn.

"Even if we were to unite our Fleets," Sparatus broke in, "Do you really believe we could defeat the Reapers?"

"I don't expect you to follow me without a plan," Shepard reasoned. She nodded to Liara who stepped in to explain the information on the Prothean device they had found. She stepped in to help answer some of the concerns the Council raised until Sparatus finally turned to her and asked the penultimate question.

"Do you really believe that this can stop the Reapers?"

Shepard wasn't sure she believed it herself yet, but she wasn't about to let doubt color her answer. "Liara believes it can work – and so do I," she confirmed confidently. "And while I haven't always agreed with Udina," she added with a slight nod to the human councilor, "he's right about this... We need to stand together – now more than ever." She paused a moment for effect before she pressed her point, "The Reapers won't stop at Earth. They'll destroy every organic being in the galaxy if we don't find a way to stop them." She watched as the councilors turned to each other and shared moments of silent communication before Tevos shared the council's consensus.

"The cruel and unfortunate truth is that while the Reapers focus on Earth, we can prepare and regroup," she said and this time her voice was hard and carried determination, not sympathy.

"We are convening a summit amongst our species," Valern added, "If we can manage to secure our own borders, we may once again consider aiding you."

"I'm sorry, Commander," Tevos continued in a softer tone once again, "That is the best we can do."

Shepard watched the councilors leave the platform with a mixture of defeat and resignation, though surprise didn't once enter mix. She really hadn't expected anything different from this group of politicians, though she had allowed herself to hope for brief seconds before they proved to her that they were still the group of people she had originally wasted breath debating with during her hunt for Saren Arterius. She didn't waste precious energy now wondering why they still hadn't learned their lesson – or second-guessing the order she had given to save their lives at the cost of thousands of human ones. She just shook her head dismissively and prepared to leave before Udina's signal caught her attention.

"Shepard, meet me in my office," Udina ordered, and Shepard nodded in acknowledgment.

**#-#-#**

Shepard left Udina's office after meeting with him and Sparatus and agreeing reluctantly to take the Normandy to Palaven's moon in search of a the turian primarch and shrugged as the old saying about politics making strange bedfellows echoed in her mind. She certainly never expected to be so firmly in Udina's corner, but she'd take what she could get at this point. She ducked in Commander Bailey's adjacent office, intending to reinforce Thane's protection of Kaidan by securing C-Sec's watchful eye as well and found him in a heated debate with Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani – a person she also remembered less than fondly. Once the reporter huffed out of Bailey's office, she caught up the Commander and secured his promise to place a guard on Kaidan's door. She left satisfied and headed to the elevator, intending to check in on Kaidan herself before she headed back to the Normandy, but Khalisah's strident voice caught her attention just before she reached her destination. She turned and faced the reporter, who was in full battle mode with her camera droid hovering over her shoulder.

"Commander Shepard!" Khalisah cried stridently, "Commander Shepard," she continued as she saw she had Shepard's attention, "The people of the Alliance have questions!"

When Shepard turned to give the reporter her full attention, she saw the blinking red light that indicated that the camera droid was recording come on and she realized she was now 'on' whether she liked it or not. She met Khalisah's eyes with bland disinterest.

"Commander Shepard, Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani," the reporter introduced for the benefit of her audience, "Isn't it true that you were on Earth when the Reapers attacked? How do you justify running away while millions of people on Earth die? Is that the best we can expect from the Alliance?"

Shepard breathed deeply – twice – and fought for control. She narrowly resisted her first impulse – to shove her fist right into the reporter's patronizing glare and instead balled her hands at her sides. If only this woman knew... But a display of aggression before the millions of people watching over the Westerlund News Network wouldn't further her cause of union, so instead she gritted out with barely restrained temper, "I came to get help for Earth. For everyone."

"What about all the people suffering while you play politics with the Council?" Khalisah persisted, "What about them? How can you stand here while our families die?" she added, and now her voice was colored with pain. "What are you going to do?"

Shepard started as she realized she wasn't the only one that suffered knowing that she had left loved ones behind, helpless to protect them. She stepped forward and placed a supportive hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Khalisah," she said softly to interrupt the reporter's emotional tirade, "We're doing everything we can," she reassured, though she didn't quite believe it herself.

Khalisah met Shepard's eyes with tear-filled ones, and her demeanor softened. She visibly deflated under the weight of her sorrow as Shepard's sympathy finally caused her to relent. "Before they cut the feeds..." she said quietly, "there were so many dead."

Shepard nodded. She had witnessed that horror in person. "I'm going to stop the Reapers," she told Khalisah with sincerity ringing in her voice, "or die trying. But I need you help." She saw Khalisah nod, willing to offer any aid. "Keep asking the hard questions," Shepard told her. "Don't let the Council forget about Earth."

"I will," Khalisah responded, her shoulders straightening with new-found resolve, "Thank you, Commander. I'm glad you're on our side," she added as she walked away.

"I would have punched the _bruja_ myself," James' quiet voice from behind Shepard startled her and she turned to him and saw him grin, "But then you're a better woman than me, Lola."

"I should hope so, James," Shepard replied with a matching grin. "What are you doing up here?" she asked in surprise.

"Taking in the sights," he replied solemnly, "Never been to the Citadel before. From up here, its easy to forget the galaxy's at war."

"Yeah," she replied quietly, wandering to the railing to the right and gazing out over the peaceful and nearly bucolic view of the Presidium below them.

"That's why you told the reporter to keep reminding them," James said in approval as he joined her and his eyes studied the same view. "Smart move."

"That's why they pay me the big bucks," she said a little sarcastically although he laughed anyway. They passed another moment of companionable silence staring at the view before he spoke again.

"So Kaidan's your baby-daddy?" he asked speculatively.

She turned to him with an arched brow and echoed, "_Baby-daddy_?" with humor. "I don't think anyone has used that term in over fifty years, James. And we're not in the middle of some trashy daytime-reality vid here, anyway. Kaidan is Caleb's _father_," she confirmed with emphasis.

"Yeah, so why didn't he come see you for six months?" James asked, heat in his voice now as he came to what he considered her defense.

"Because I refused to see him," Shepard answered quietly and stole the wind from his sails. "I couldn't let him get involved in that mess."

"_Dios_," James replied with a soft whistle. "You got a thing for falling on your own sword, Lola," he added. He paused for a moment then added, "I hope he's going to be ok."

"The docs say so," Shepard confirmed with a grateful smile, "And in the meantime, Lieutenant," she added as she straightened and headed back to the elevator, "We have work to do... _If_ you're done with your sightseeing."

James took one last look over the Presidium before he hopped into a jog and met her on the elevator just before the doors closed behind them.


	5. What is and What Should Never Be

_A/N - Hope everyone had a great weekend and Happy belated Mother's Day if any of you are also moms... speaking of which, I feel like I owe Shepard an apology for this chapter... but I am making it better :-) As always, I'll be twisting conversations/events/reactions around to suit my needs here, hope you enjoy!  
_

_AirForceBrat, Lyv, and Gabe97, thanks for your reviews! You make my day with your feedback :-) To everyone else reading, following, favoriting - thank you for taking the time and I hope you're enjoying, too!  
_

_As always, I give all due credit to Bioware and all my thanks and love to my awesome beta, StoneburntHeart :-)_

* * *

_She was in a forest. It was a place as unknown and foreign to her as any alien planet. She had spent her life on ships, and rarely had her childhood pass times aligned with those of children raised on their homeworld. She was more accustomed to dodging through darkened corridors after curfew or hiding on the firing range and watching the adults practice with their guns than exploring any of Earth's natural resources. She took a moment to look around her and shivered with the knowledge that even if she had been raised on Earth, she would have avoided this place. It was dark and mysterious and the black leafless trees raised tentacles of foreboding against a sky that was only shades lighter itself. There was barely enough light to progress through the dim fog and she set her feet in a random direction - looking for any exit. The echoing sound of a child's laughter sent fresh chills down her spine and she swiveled her head in the direction of the sound and saw a ghostly figure scamper across the horizon. The innocent sight was so out of place in the lingering malignant evil that it added to her growing fear rather than relieved it. She changed direction. She tried to move faster, intending to reach the child and warn him, but her body refused to cooperate and instead she felt like she was swimming through quicksand._

_She navigated around a large tree and caught sight of the child again - he was still now, as if something had caught his attention, and his laughter rang out in the oppressive dark once again. She sighed in relief and shoved aside all alarm as she noted his strange translucent glow; instead glad that she would be able to get to him – to save him this time, for she had begun to realize as she drew closer that this was the child she had tried to rescue from the vents on Earth. She ignored her brain's logical warning that the child was dead – burned to ash in the shuttle he had climbed aboard in the desperate rush to escape the Reaper – and pressed forward, hope that she could finally save him quickening her steps. When she was nearly in reach, the horrible growl of a Reaper tore through the landscape and the sky flashed first brilliant white then blood red. She turned her head to search for the threat. When she glanced back, the child had moved again but she heard his whimpering cries in the distance._

_She jogged in slow-motion toward his new position and spotted him huddled on the ground a distance away. Again, she wanted nothing more than to reach him in time, to wrap him in her arms and assure his safety. She was just a step away, so close, and she stretched out her hands. The child's image was solid now and he stood to face her with tears welling in his eyes. She lost the ability to breathe as his face morphed from the child she had watched die to the more familiar visage of the child she had borne. Caleb's smaller form stood in front of her now and she was paralyzed in shocked horror, tears streaming down her cheeks. _

_The fire came. It started at the ground but quickly, inexorably, rose to an inferno that consumed him. She stood frozen in mute horror as the child she loved more than life itself burned before her eyes as she watched, helpless to save him._

Shepard pushed to the surface of the nightmare with the gasp of a drowning person and scrubbed at the tears falling freely down her cheeks for one panicked second before the nausea slammed into her with nearly crippling force. She sprang up and ran blindly to the bathroom and barely made it before the spasms of violent sick overtook her. She spent long minutes on her knees on the cold tile floor before she was sure she was spent. She rose slowly to her feet and turned to the sink and ran the water cold. While she splashed the shocking but refreshing liquid on her face, trying to wash away both tears and memory, she heard a quiet knock at the door.

"It's open," she raised her voice and called, searching her own image for any remnants of the damage the dream had done.

"Shepard," Liara's voice reached her through the closed door, "Is this a bad time?"

Shepard exited the small bathroom and met Liara's concerned eyes. "Just thinking of... people... who aren't around anymore," she mumbled as a vague excuse for her distraction. "What's up?" she asked, trying to turn her mind to business.

"Seeing Kaidan hurt like that must have been devastating," Liara brushed off the attempt to change the subject and persisted with intuitive concern.

"Yeah, it was," Shepard breathed in understatement, unwilling or unable to share this latest private horror with even one of closest friends. "It reminded me too much of how I felt when we lost Ash," she offered when Liara still wouldn't relent. It wasn't a lie – it just wasn't the whole truth.

"If I had to guess... If Ashley were here now, she would call this war against the Reapers target practice," Liara told her in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, that does sound like her," Shepard confirmed with a light laugh. "Did you have something you needed to talk about?" she asked again.

"I've been forwarding Councilor Sparatus information on the Prothean device," Liara responded, finally satisfied that Shepard would be ok. "It can't be built without Council support, but he's not budging until their primarch is safe."

"I'm not surprised," Shepard confirmed. "I just hope Earth can afford this delay," she added with a sigh. "When the Reapers hit, I could hear screaming from people all around me, but all I could think about was Caleb. Leaving him behind nearly killed me..." she trailed off as the horror of her dream threatened to overwhelm her again. She hadn't intended to let this much pain show, not now when any moment of kindness or sympathy may cause her to break completely. She needed to keep going, to only think of the mission ahead and not dwell on her nightmares – both literal and metaphoric.

"There was no way for you to get to him," Liara placed a hand on Shepard's arm in support. "And you're doing what you need to do now. You'll get back to him in time to help. Not just your son – but all of the people on Earth."

"I hope you're right," Shepard replied, and she realized that it _was_ hard to doubt when you looked in the face of someone who believed in you without question. She smiled a bit, grateful that her friend was here.

"Don't blame yourself, Shepard," Liara added softly.

The sound of footsteps announced a new visitor from the cabin's still-open doorway. Both women turned to greet their new visitor – a slight woman with dark hair wearing the Alliance-issue BDUs and looking slightly out of place in them. She was dusky-skinned and dark-eyed and very pretty. She smiled sheepishly at the two of them.

"Oh! I beg your pardon Commander Shepard, I thought you were alone..." the new woman greeted in a crisp voice that carried a British accent.

"I was just leaving," Liara told her reassuringly as she moved past the new arrival and to the elevator.

"Commander Shepard," the woman began again, giving an almost proper salute, "I'm Com Specialist Samantha Traynor, Alliance R&D." She dropped the awkward salute and continued, "I was part of the team retrofitting the Normandy after you turned it back over to the Alliance. There weren't many of us aboard when the Reapers hit..."

"Slow down, Specialist Traynor," Shepard broke in with a warm humorous smile and lifted her hands and pushed them toward the floor in a gesture that illustrated her words, "You're doing just fine."

"Thank you," Traynor replied with a quick grateful smile. "I worked in a lab – I never thought I'd be serving on a ship," she explained.

"Why don't you tell me about the retrofits?" Shepard offered as she moved further into the cabin. It was an olive branch, a way to open conversation and put Traynor at ease. Her own practiced observations even in the short time she'd had to make them told her all she needed to know about the Alliance version of the Normandy SR2.

"The ship's in line with Alliance regs now," Traynor picked up the olive branch and ran with it, and gave Shepard plenty of time to observe the new woman in action. "It has new top-of-the-line quantum entanglement communicators. In fact, Admiral Anderson had intended to use the Normandy as his mobile command center," Traynor reported as she stared around the richly-appointed cabin in wonder.

"Hmmm," Shepard replied neutrally. She had already observed that the locker in this cabin was fully stocked. Since she was fairly sure that Anderson didn't wear her size BDUs, she thought it was more likely that that had been his cover story while he worked to get her out of detention and back where she belonged. "That's no longer an option," Shepard went on as she realized Traynor was waiting for a more vocal reply.

"Yes, I heard that he chose to stay and fight," Traynor said slowly, carefully. She brightened and added, "In any event, I'm honored to serve under you, Commander." Shepard pushed aside the memory of another time, another life that words like those always brought to mind and tried to pay attention as Traynor rushed on, "For as long as you need me, that is... They only sent me here to oversee the retrofits..."

"Shepard," EDI's voice interrupted over the com, "Some of our systems require further testing, and Specialist Traynor has been extremely effective during installation. I would prefer that she remain."

"Got it, EDI," Shepard replied. The AI's opinion aligned with hers anyway.

"Wait, since when does a virtual intelligences make requests?" Traynor asked in confused suspicion.

"EDI's an AI – fully self-aware," Shepard revealed matter-of-factly. If she knew anything about people, she'd guess that Traynor had already jumped to that conclusion and she was just confirming it.

"Oh! I knew it!" Traynor replied victoriously and proved Shepard right, "I _knew_ Joker was lying."

"Jeff requested that I pose as a simple VI to protect myself," EDI filled in, "I apologize for the deception."

"Thanks, EDI," Traynor replied, inclining her head to speak to the ceiling which amused Shepard, "and I apologize for all the those times I talked about how... attractive your voice was," she added which caused Shepard's eyebrows to fly up in surprise as well as add to her amusement.

Shepard stepped in to head off further embarrassments. "Now that we have everything cleared up," she said, "Welcome aboard, Traynor. It'll be good to have you," she added, thinking anything would be better than Chambers. Then she reminded herself of the woman's pain and fear when she had broken her out of the Collector pod and felt a little shamed.

"Yes, Commander," Traynor replied. "I believe Admiral Hackett would like to speak with you in the com room when you're ready."

"Thank you, Traynor," Shepard replied and headed to the elevator with the woman.

**#-#-#**

After an update with Hackett that managed to be both frustrating and encouraging at the same time, Shepard's next order of business was to head to Deck 5. She had questioned EDI after returning to the Normandy from the Citadel about the personnel on board and their backgrounds and she intended to make a slight change in duties now. When the elevator deposited her on the floor that now housed both the shuttle bay and armory once again, she strode over to the man she came to see with purpose.

"Lieutenant Steve Cortez?" she asked in confirmation and saw the handsome dusky-skinned man turn startlingly blue eyes in her direction and nod.

"Commander Shepard," he replied as he came to attention and saluted in a practiced and proper fashion. "It's an honor to make your acquaintance, ma'am."

"No need to stand on formality, Cortez," she waved off the salute and nodded as he relaxed in front of her. "I understand you're a qualified shuttle pilot?" she asked.

"I came up through the ranks flying Trident fighters, but I'm quite familiar with the operation and maintenance of the UT-47 Kodiak and the M-44 Hammerhead," he confirmed.

"Good," she replied with satisfaction then raised her voice for effect so that it would reach Vega across the cargo hold, "Because my last pilot couldn't tell the difference between _crashing_ and _landing_."

"Hey, now, Lola!" Vega bantered back, "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Even so, I'd like to get to Menae in one piece," Shepard called back with a grin that belied any irritation. "You're hired, Cortez," she told the earnest man standing in front of her.

"My pleasure, ma'am," he answered with a small grin.

Shepard walked to the weapons locker to begin her mission prep before she called over to James again, "Don't worry, James, muscle-bound jarheads still have a place on my squad. Get over here and get suited up and call Liara away from her screens to join us, too. We have a primarch to rescue."

**#-#-#**

Shepard sat on the Normandy shuttle, expertly piloted by Cortez and stared grimly at the display of Palaven the onboard vidscreen offered them.

"Oh no, no, Palaven," Liara cried in response to the fuzzy scene of the turian homeworld wreathed in destructive fire.

At James' look of surprise at Liara's reaction, Shepard explained, "We have an old friend there." She had to shove aside fear of her own when worry over Garrus' safety threatened to overwhelm her. She remembered the one day she and Kaidan had taken Caleb to Vancouver after their return to Earth – and how emotional Garrus had been to finally meet his 'nephew.' More than anything, she wanted to see them together again.

"Holy hell, they're getting decimated," James' assessment of the video display broke into her thoughts.

"Strongest military in the galaxy and the Reapers are obliterating it," Shepard added grimly.

"Was it like this on Earth?" Liara asked then gave the asari version of a blush as she realized her lack of tact.

"Yes," Shepard answered simply, in a voice that said so much more.

"Shepard, I'm so sorry," Liara rushed to say – both to apologize for her blunder and to offer sympathy for the fate of Earth.

"Yeah," Shepard replied quietly.

"Commander!" Cortez's voice broke in, "The LZ's getting swarmed."

Shepard sprang up, assault rifle in hand. She checked it quickly, flipped off the safety, then ordered, "James! Open the hatch!"

As the shuttle doors yawned open, they revealed husks scampering over every inch of the ground below. "Hell of a wakeup call," James cried as he took position beside her and they began to pump rounds of incendiary-modded ammo into the enemies below.

When the landing zone was sufficiently clear, Cortez set them down gently with a wheeze of the shuttle's engine.

"Alright, get in, get this done, get out," Shepard summarized to her squad as she led them forward into the fray.

**#-#-#**

They fought their way through to the turian encampment and found General Corinthus only to learn that Primarch Fedorian had fallen to a Reaper attack just an hour before. After learning that turian communications with their homeworld had been lost, she urged her squad back out of the encampment and to the com tower. She and James fought off wave after wave of Reaper forces as Liara climbed to the top of the tower and performed the necessary repairs. She notified the general that he could seek guidance from turian command on their new primarch now and settled in to provide much needed assistance to the turian troops while she waited for an update. Finally, General Corinthus' voice came over the com.

"Commander Shepard, come in," the general called.

"Go ahead," she replied.

"I have information from Palaven Command. Please return ASAP," he ordered.

"On our way," Shepard acknowledged and led the squad back to the turian encampment. When she approached Corinthus, the general looked up with a nod.

"What have you got?" she asked him.

"As your partner said," Corinthus began with a nod to indicate Liara, "turian succession is usually simple. But right now, the hierarchy's in chaos – so many dead or MIA."

"I need someone," Shepard broke in with barely-restrained impatience. "I don't care who – as long as they can get us the resources we need."

"I'm on it, Shepard," a new and very familiar voice replied, "We'll find you the primarch."

Shepard turned to the source of the new voice and sighed with relief as her eyes rested on Garrus Vakarian – alive and unharmed. She smiled with genuine pleasure.

"Garrus!" she cried as she ran to him for a very unprofessional hug which he gladly returned although when she stepped back he glanced askew at the general with the turian version of embarrassment.

The general was too busy stumbling over his own surprise to notice the breach of propriety. "Vakarian – sir," he mumbled, "I didn't see you arrive."

"At ease, General," Garrus replied.

"Sorry," Shepard murmured sotto-voice before she raised her voice and spoke in a louder tone, "Good to see you again, I thought you'd be on Palaven."

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven," Garrus told her, "I'm the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces so I'm... advising."

Shepard thought that he was likely downplaying – in her experience, generals didn't salute 'advisors', but she left the topic for a more appropriate time. She turned to her squad and motioned James over. When he drew close to her side she said, "James, this is Garrus Vakarian – an old friend. He helped me take down Saren and the Collectors; he's a hell of a soldier."

James shook Garrus' hand and nodded respectfully.

"Lieutenant," Garrus said in greeting and then stretched his head beyond Vega's bulk and called behind him, "Liara, it's good to see you, too."

"Good to see you in one piece, Garrus," Liara replied with a smile that mirrored Shepard's.

"General Corinthus filled me in," Garrus turned back to Shepard now that the pleasantries were observed, "We know who we're after."

"Palaven command tells me that the next primarch is General Adrien Victus," General Corinthus took up the explanation.

"Victus?" Liara echoed, "His name's crossed my desk," she added, referring to her role as the Shadow Broker.

"Know him, Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"I was fighting alongside him this morning," Garrus replied. "Lifelong military, gets results, popular with his troops. Not so popular with military command – has a reputation for playing loose with accepted strategy," he added.

"I'd think a lot of Alliance command would say the same about me," Shepard dismissed the concern with a grin. "Can I trust him?" she asked.

"He'll do whatever it takes," Garrus confirmed. "He does remind me of you," he added with his version of a grin.

"Ok, let's get him on the shuttle and get out of here," Shepard replied as she drew her rifle.

"Commander! Shepard, come in," Joker's voice over the com interrupted.

"Can this wait, Joker?" she asked and all but tapped her foot with impatience, "We're in the middle of a war zone."

"We've got a situation on the Normandy, Commander," he replied apologetically, "It's like she's possessed – shutting down systems, powering up weapons. I can't find the source."

"I need the Normandy standing by in case we have to bug out," Shepard growled to her team. "Liara, can you take the shuttle back and see if you can figure out what's going on?"

Liara nodded and headed off. Garrus drew Shepard aside for a moment now that they were out of the general's earshot.

"Earth?" he asked quietly. It was a simple, short query, but Shepard understood all he was asking.

"Just like Palaven," she responded, her voice lowered as well, "Maybe worse." She paused and hissed in a breath. "We had to leave Caleb behind – he was with his grandparents. And Kaidan's hurt, he's in the hospital."

"Spirits, Shepard," Garrus breathed in sympathy as his hand tightened on her arm in reaction. "I'll lead you to the Primarch – I was with him this morning – and then I'm joining you on the Normandy," he added firmly. "You need all the friends you can get so that you can get back to Earth and my nephew."

"Thanks, Garrus," Shepard breathed with a relieved sigh. She had planned on asking, but he had saved her the energy of making an argument. "It'll be just like old times."

"Yeah, remind me to stop volunteering for suicide missions," Garrus bantered back just so she'd grin.

She gave him what he wanted before she motioned them out and took point.

**#-#-#**

Once Shepard retrieved the Primarch safely – and secured his agreement to accept the new position and provide turian assistance for Earth, contingent on her convincing the krogan to fight for Palaven, of course - she gathered them all and headed back to the Normandy. She updated Admiral Hackett on what little progress she had made and left the com room with the intent of checking in with the Primarch and Garrus. Her progress was halted just outside the door when her omni-tool pinged an incoming message on her private account. Her heart surged with hope and she opened the message and sighed with relief.

_Shepard-_

_The nurses said you were here while I was out, thanks for asking Thane to keep me company when you had to leave._

_I'm awake now and doing better, but I would like to see you - when you're not too busy saving the galaxy. Udina has offered to make me a Spectre and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I'd like your take on it... And well, I'd just like to see you._

_Stop by when you have a chance?_

_Love you,_

_Kaidan_

She quickly typed out a short reply and sent it...

_Kaidan-_

_So glad to hear you're better. Need to speak with Councilor Tevos anyway... headed to the Citadel ASAP. Don't give Udina an answer until we talk?_

_Love you too,_

_Shepard_

She nodded to Victus on her way through the war room and headed to the CIC at a near jog. She made it as far as the briefing room before the Normandy's lights dimmed with a disturbing moan and Joker's voice called to her over the com.

"Commander, EDI just went offline!" he said in alarm.

"What do you mean, offline?" she growled in frustration.

"I don't know - she's not responding, and I can't access the AI core diagnostics," Joker replied. "You better get down to Deck 3."

She sighed and changed course to the elevator once she reached the CIC.

**#-#-#**

Once she approached the closed door to the AI core, she heard a large thunk from inside. Two crew members stood guard outside the door and she saw their bored looks turn to immediate alarm.

"Joker, what's the sound?" she called over the com.

"Fire extinguishers, Commander," he reported. "Could be an electrical fire... or something."

"I'm going in," Shepard nodded to her crew members and they stood aside, ready to follow her.

The door swooshed open and revealed the room thick with white smoke. The crew stepped forward with their portable fire extinguishers and sprayed them in an arc in front of them. As far as Shepard could tell, they only added to the fog and she waved her hands and coughed a bit. She peered through the haze and saw a figure approach slowly. She had her pistol in her hands a second later when she recognized the form of the hated Cerberus machine that had put Kaidan in the hospital.

"Not another step," Shepard growled in a dangerously low voice.

"Shepard, it is I," the mech halted but spoke – with EDI's voice.

"EDI?" Shepard asked in confusion, though she kept her pistol trained on the mech.

"Yes," the mech replied, still sounding like EDI.

"You're in that _thing_?" Shepard scowled as she began to comprehend.

"Not all of me," EDI answered, "but I do have control of it. I apologize for the negative connotations this form presents to you," she continued as Shepard continued to point the gun at her.

Shepard sighed and lowered the pistol finally. She ignored the concern – while she appreciated the thought, her personal feelings with regard to this 'form' weren't the issue at the moment, and she made a mental note to warn Kaidan as soon as she saw him. She figured her 'negative connotations' wouldn't scratch a dent in the surface of his.

"How did you do this?" she asked EDI.

"It was not a seamless transition," the AI informed her.

"Transition," Shepard repeated... Serious understatement. "You blacked out on us for a while there, EDI."

"Correct," EDI confirmed. "When we brought this unit on board, I began a background process to search for its information on the Prothean device. This eventually triggered a trap – a backup power source and CPU activated and the unit attempted physical confrontation. Fortunately, I was able to gain root access and repurpose it as I saw fit. During this process, it... struggled. Thus the fire."

"Ok," Shepard replied as she digested the information. "So... why? Why would you 'repurpose' this way? And are you still in the ship?"

"I exist primarily within the ship," EDI confirmed, "For optimal control of this unit, I should remain within Normandy's broadcast or tightbeam range."

"Answer my question, EDI," Shepard nearly growled. "Where are you planning to take this thing?"

"Normandy's weaponry is not suited to every combat situation," EDI replied, unruffled. "This platform could provide limited fire ground support."

"Limited fire ground support..." Shepard echoed before EDI's meaning struck her. "You want me to take you on ground missions? As part of my squad?" she exclaimed with her voice not leaving much doubt of her opinion of that idea.

"Shepard," EDI responded patiently, "One of your great strengths as a leader had been building a disparate team that other officers may reject as unsuitable. You 'think outside the box' is I believe how you humans phrase it. My implementation of this platform was in anticipation of you seeing the advantages it presented," now she sounded nearly scolding to Shepard's ears.

Shepard sighed and relented. "You're right, EDI... As long as you're in control, I shouldn't let my personal feelings for what the previous occupant did with that body color my judgment." She met EDI's strangely human eyes and pointed and finger before she went on, "But... I'm not taking you anywhere until you've done every test to ensure this thing won't fail or rebel at a critical moment."

There was a momentary pause as EDI seemed to search internally. After the space of mere seconds she responded, "Done."

"Fine," Shepard said and shook her head, "Welcome aboard... you? I guess, EDI."

"I'm not sure if that is funny, Shepard," EDI replied, "I think I should take my new body to the cockpit and ask Jeff. I'm sure he will be most interested to see it."

"On that, we can agree," Shepard replied with a grin.

She followed EDI out to head to the CIC and implement her original – no scratch that - first revised plan.


	6. Somewhere I Belong

_A/N - you all know my fondness for Kasumi by now, so she had to make an appearance... also, I know you spend ME3 running back and forth to the Citadel with abandon, but it just doesn't work in fics without a reason, so Shepard decided to talk to Tevos in person about the summit, rather than by QEC... it just seems like something she'd do, she'd want to stare down the asari in person XD Meanwhile, the hospital visit in TTK is not gonna resemble ME3 at all, except for the Peruvian whiskey... hope you like my changes!_

_Thanks for your reviews, Meggo929 (I'm working on your suggestion/challenge today, though I'm quite a few chapters ahead, so you'll have a bit of a wait ;-/), spaceconveyor, AirForceBrat (don't hate me, please, there isn't a ton of Joker/EDI in this fic... I like them, I really do, I just prefer to concentrate on Shenko), Lyv, and Gabe97! You, along with everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting: you make this all mean something... I can't express enough how much I thank you for that!  
_

_As always, all due credit goes to Bioware, I own nothing, I just play in their universe :-) My awesome beta, StoneburntHeart, also deserves a medal for putting up with me :-) *hugs*_

* * *

When Shepard stepped through the Normandy's airlock and on to the Citadel this time, she suppressed the urge to immediately rush to Kaidan's side. Barely. When she saw Kaidan, she wanted to have time to sit and talk freely without feeling guilty about ignoring her duty. With that in mind, she headed to the Presidium Embassies rather than Huerta Memorial when she stepped in the elevator.

Once she arrived at the Embassies, she headed in the direction of the asari councilor's office at a near jog, but stopped short when a salarian standing guard outside the Spectre office hailed her. It was too convenient that he was here at just this time – he'd obviously been waiting for her. She greeted him warily.

"Commander Shepard. Jondam Bau, Special Tactics and Recon," the salarian introduced himself. Ah, another Spectre, then. Shepard relaxed a bit. "I've got intel suggesting high-level hanar officials may be indoctrinated."

"That's a damning accusation," Shepard said carefully. And why was he coming to her with it, anyway? She shrugged off the thought and went on, "What have you got?"

"Evidence of an Alliance black ops team raiding a batarian research station," Bau told her, his omni-tool open and active as he read off the data, "The batarians were studying Reaper technology."

"The batarians had Reaper technology?" Shepard asked in surprise even as she shoved away the uneasy feelings this topic was causing her.

"The Alliance raid turned into a massacre," Bau reported, "And the humans ended up with nothing. Your people faked a power failure to hide the incident." The last was a clear accusation.

"The batarians would have gone to war if they'd found out," Shepard defended. She had first hand knowledge of how... _forgiving_ the batarians were not. "But how does this implicate the hanar?" she questioned.

"They maintain discreet gray-market trade relationships with the batarians, and led the Alliance to the station," Bau explained. "We suspect those hanar operatives escaped with the batarian tech. If your reports on the Reapers are accurate, they could already be indoctrinated."

"What's your source on all this?" Shepard asked curiously. If any of this were true, Bau was right... This could be a massive diplomatic incident, to say the least.

"It was an anonymous gift," Bau replied, "but I believe it came from a thief named Kasumi Goto. I've been after her for years."

"Kasumi-" Shepard began then changed course. Wouldn't do for Bau to know that she was a personal friend of his target. "You've been hunting a thief?" she asked instead. Strange work for a Council Spectre... much more suited to C-Sec.

"A master thief," Bau corrected with what sounded suspiciously close to admiration. "Her intelligence and skill are almost salarian."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate praise from the Spectre who's chasing her down," Shepard said deadpan. Actually, she was fairly sure Kasumi _would_ appreciate Bau's praise... as long as she kept winning.

"I only need her data," Bau went on, not appreciating the irony. "I admire her personally. And since she sent me this, I assume her feelings are mutual."

And that was also likely true, given what Shepard knew about the thief. "What do you need me to do?" she asked Bau.

"The hanar operative is now a diplomat on the Citadel," Bau explained. "I don't have a public name and the hanar will go to ground if I make a formal inquiry."

"So we're hunting?" Shepard guessed.

"I'm tracking suspicious transmissions to the hanar homeworld," Bau replied, accessing his omni-tool once again. "I could use your help, yes," he added.

"Ok, I'll see what I can dig up at the Spectre office," Shepard offered.

"Thanks Shepard," Bau replied. "And for the record, not everyone doubted your concerns about the Reapers. I just hope we're not too late," he added as he wandered off in the opposite direction.

Shepard stepped into the Spectre office and was only vaguely surprised when she heard a familiar voice speak.

"So... remember when you helped me acquire Keiji's graybox from Donovan Hock?" Kasumi uncloaked behind Shepard as she turned to the sound of her old friend's voice. "The one with information that could start a war?"

"Information like an Alliance black ops raid on a batarian research lab?" Shepard guessed, doing the math easily. She didn't for one moment question Kasumi's presence inside the Council Spectre office – despite the requisite bio-scan for entry. Kasumi's reputation was well-deserved.

"I figured it wouldn't hurt to leak it now," Kasumi confirmed, shuffling from foot to foot in an uncharacteristic display of nerves. "Especially if there really is an indoctrinated jellyfish out there," Kasumi nearly pleaded for approval. "Crazier than usual," she mocked in response to 'indoctrinated jellyfish' – which had cause Shepard to grin as well. "If you don't mind me tagging along cloaked, maybe I can help dig up some dirt on the hanar?" Kasumi asked.

"I'd appreciate it, Kasumi," Shepard replied with a warm smile. She had a real soft spot for this thief – even before she had been instrumental in making hers and Kaidan's lives more... _comfortable_ during the Cerberus days.

It was as if Kasumi read her mind, because she employed her cloak and her disembodied's voice next word were, "So, Shep, how's the hot Lieutenant doing?"

"He's a Commander now. He's here in the hospital," Shepard answered distractedly as she accessed the Spectre operations terminal. When Kasumi gasped, she realized the effect of her offhand words and explained, "He was injured on a mission after we left Earth... But he's doing much better, he should be up and back on duty soon."

"Ah, so you two are still..." Kasumi trailed off delicately.

"Yes, Kasumi, we're _still_," Shepard replied with a grin. "Thank you for all your help with Cerberus," she added. Ah, here was the program she needed, she saw as she scrolled through the terminal in front of her. She enabled the tracking routine that would allow her to bypass privacy settings and track financial data, transit records, and personal communications for all employees of the hanar embassy. She turned from the terminal and accessed her omni-tool as the spyware began to forward nav-points to her.

"I told you, I was repaying a debt," Kasumi demurred in response to Shepard's thanks. When Shepard stared in her general direction with an arched eyebrow, Kasumi sighed and added, "Ok, so I'm a hopeless romantic..." Shepard grinned and walked out the office to head to the first nav-point.

"Bau's got a good plan," Kasumi reported as she followed. "Hanar are predictable. Anything suspicious in their terminal use should narrow down our list of suspects."

"So, you approve of Bau?" Shepard asked, making conversation more than anything.

"Absolutely," Kasumi confirmed enthusiastically. "He's a good Spectre – the galaxy needs more like him."

"And... the fact that he's trying to arrest you?" Shepard asked with a grin.

"Well, nobody's perfect," Kasumi replied, a matching grin evident in her voice.

Shepard reached the terminal outside the hanar embassy and accessed it. She opened her omni-tool and called, "Bau, I have some possible hits," as she began transmitting data. "Got some strange money transfers on Bolohn, and Oloon is sending a lot of data."

"Bolohn's clean," Bau replied, "His money transfers are to support his mistress. Not sure about Oloon. I'll pull his bio."

"I'll check Oloon's personal records and pull his recent messages," Shepard added as she headed to the elevator.

"Can I just note how odd it is for a hanar to have a mistress?" Kasumi's voice floated from a spot to the left of Shepard.

"This from the hopeless romantic?" Shepard said with a laugh. "You know, Kasumi..." she added conversationally, "If Bau catches up with you, I can grant you immunity." She wasn't _quite_ sure a Spectre could do that, but she dared anyone to try to argue with her over it.

"What? If I join up?" Kasumi replied, very much on to Shepard's game. "Last time I did that, you roped me into a suicide mission."

"Can they still call it a suicide mission if everyone survives it?" Shepard asked rhetorically. She went on, speaking to Kasumi now, "I didn't say you had to join up."

"You were working your way around to it," Kasumi replied drily.

When Shepard located the next terminal nav-point, she accessed it once again and com'd Bau. "Bau, Oloon's doing some heavy lobbying for hanar to support the war effort."

"So he's clearly not indoctrinated," Bau deduced. "Who's opposing him?"

"An unnamed hanar recently posted here from Kahje," Shepard replied as she read the data, "I'll check transit records for incoming hanar," she added as she accessed her omni-tool for the next nav-point. Just a few corridors away. She nodded with satisfaction and headed in that direction.

"It all comes down to the war..." Kasumi bantered as they walked, "And you trying to pull everyone into it."

Shepard stopped and opened her omni-tool again. She accessed her personal files and brought up her favorite video log and hit play. She stared at the image of her son playing catch with his father in a sun-soaked British Columbia field. She sighed a moment as emotions threatened to overwhelm her. She didn't look away from the image to try to spot Kasumi – she knew the thief well enough to know that her own curiosity would have gotten the better of her by now – even if she didn't feel just the slightest hint of warm breath over her shoulder.

"His name is Caleb," she said quietly. "I had to leave him on Earth when the Reapers attacked. He's why I'll pull every goddamn person I can beg, plead, blackmail or otherwise convince into this war, Kasumi." She closed the omni-tool and looked up to see Kasumi had uncloaked and was meeting her eyes solemnly. "Besides," she added, trying to lighten the mood. "Would you rather the Reapers win?"

"No," Kasumi answered simply, "And I won't argue with your reasons. Please respect mine – I can't do another Collector base, Shep." She sighed and continued, "The Reapers aren't people... I can't infiltrate a Reaper party and steal a big 'I win' bomb."

Since that was tough to argue, Shepard fell silent for now and they headed to the terminal which housed transit records. When she accessed it she reported, "I've got a list of new hanar arrivals, Bau," she opened her omni-tool and began a transfer, "Forwarding it to you now."

"Damn, these are all face-names," Bau replied, "The hanar names from the Alliance raid are soul-names," he added. "Hanar soul-names are private – there's no public record," he explained, though Shepard knew this from her talks with Thane, "Can you get back to their personal communications?" he asked.

"On it," Shepard confirmed as she began to retrace her steps, "Maybe we'll find names there."

"So how's the rest of the gang?" Kasumi asked as they walked. "Met up with anybody else?"

"Garrus just rejoined the Normandy," Shepard replied.

"He never could pass up a good fight," Kasumi said with humor. "What about Jacob?" she asked with interest coloring her voice.

"Haven't heard from him," Shepard replied disinterestedly.

"See... _Jacob_ could have got me back on the Normandy," Kasumi replied with distinct female interest now.

"Romantic my ass," Shepard sniped.

"Hey, I'm romantic, not blind," Kasumi said, mock-hurt.

Shepard reached the previous terminal and accessed it again. "Bau, here's the correspondence," she reported as she once again opened a transfer, "If there's any mention of soul-names..."

"I've got it," Bau replied. "A recent arrival, Zymandis. Soul-name: Regards the Works of the Enkindlers in Despair. He was with the Alliance team that massacred the batarians. He's been on 'special research assignment' ever since."

"So he got his tentacles on some Reaper tech," Shepard surmised.

"Looks that way," Bau confirmed. "I'm sending you the nav-point for his office, I'll meet you there."

Shepard and Kasumi headed to the elevator. When they arrived back at the Citadel Embassies, they met up with Bau and followed him to the hanar's office. They approached the culprit carefully but Shepard took point.

"Zymandis?" she asked to get his attention.

"Or should I say 'Regards the Works of the Enkindlers with Despair'?" Bau added, quoting the soul-name no stranger should know.

"It seems this one has been apprehended," the hanar spoke slowly in the way of his people, "but confinement is irrelevant. The work of the Enkindlers cannot be stopped."

"Tell me, if your soul-name refers to the the Enkindlers – the Protheans - why would you work for the Reapers?" Shepard asked, though she knew trying to reason with an indoctrinated being was likely futile – Saren had never been responsive to her persuasion.

"As you are aware, Commander Shepard," Zymandis began, "the Protheans eventually became the Collectors. And the Collectors serve the Reapers."

"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me," Shepard muttered in disgust at the line of reasoning she could see him developing.

"Therefore, as a faithful servant of the Enkindlers, we too must serve the Reapers," the hanar completed as if she hadn't interrupted.

"You big stupid jellyfish!" Shepard exclaimed in disgust.

"You know," Kasumi whispered from her hiding spot over Shepard's shoulder, "I support religious freedom for all species, but that's just _crazy_!"

"It appears that indoctrination has severely affected his mental functions," Bau offered in typically salarian understatement.

"Your skepticism does not matter," Zymandis countered, "When the Enkindlers uplift us as their chosen sapients, the galaxy will bear witness."

"You're insane," Shepard stepped forward to put an end to this, "And we can't allow you to endanger your planet. We're taking you into custody."

"Your belief in your victory is mistaken," the hanar replied. "Our planetary defense network is largely automated. It can be disabled with a single virus – which I have just uploaded," he bragged triumphantly.

"Damn it!" Bau cried then thought, "Wait! A virus would be detected unless sent on low priority channels, which have a time lag." He opened his omni-tool and began to work as he turned to Shepard and added, "I may be able to block the upload," he told her as the hanar's human guard rushed in to grab his arm and try to disrupt his work.

"You may be... delayed," Zymandis stated as the human guard continued to struggle with Bau, wrapping his large hands around the salarian's skinny neck.

"Help him!" Kasumi cried as she uncloaked and jumped across a nearby desk to reach a terminal on the other side of the room. "I'll handle this," she added as she began to access the terminal.

Shepard turned and body-slammed the human guard into the wall. He slumped unconscious to the ground as the newly-free Bau drew his pistol and shot the hanar traitor.

"Got it!" Kasumi cried with satisfaction. "Upload's disabled," she told Shepard. "Looks like we're in the... Wait," she broke off as the terminal began to beep ominously. "He's got some kind of fail-safe," she reported as the beeps grew closer together. "Get down!" she cried, just as the terminal exploded with a bang. Shepard and Bau were thrown back and once they had recovered, they saw Kasumi fade into her cloak, unmoving.

"She was here the entire time!" Bau exclaimed in surprise.

"She was an old friend," Shepard replied mournfully.

"I intended to arrest her," Bau stated with distress.

"She helped me take down the Collectors and she just gave her life to save the hanar homeworld," Shepard told him with force in her voice.

"Point taken," Bau replied and turned to Shepard. "It was an honor to work with you, Shepard. When the time comes, I'll be there to return the favor... with a few friends," he added as he left.

Shepard waited until he was clear then slowly approached the last spot they had seen Kasumi. "You can come out now," she called.

There was a shimmer as Kasumi uncloaked and revealed herself. "How'd you know?" she asked sheepishly.

"Lucky guess," Shepard replied drily.

"There's no way you're recruiting me to fight in a galactic war," Kasumi stated vehemently – resuming their debate as if no time or events had passed since.

"Admiral Hackett needs technical people to help him build the Prothean device we discovered," Shepard told her patiently.

"I'm not a scientist!" Kasumi protested.

"No," Shepard conceded. "But you're the best thief in the galaxy," she pressed her point, "And you can hack unfamiliar technology better than anyone. They could use your help." She paused and studied her old friend for the space of a heartbeat and saw she nearly had her. "And think of it," she went on with a small smile, "All that expensive tech laying around... It's not like they're gonna check your pockets at the end of the project..."

"You say the nicest things," Kasumi replied with a giggle. "Alright, I'm in. And Shep – give the hot Commander a nice kiss from me, eh?"

"I'll be sure to do that, Kasumi," Shepard replied with a grin.

**#-#-#**

By the time Shepard completed her meeting with the asari councilor and directed the elevator to Huerta Memorial so she could finally make good on her promise to Kasumi, she was exhausted. It had been a long and sometimes frustrating day already, and she hadn't yet accomplished the one thing she had most wanted to do when she arrived at the Citadel that morning. She tried to ignore the replay of snippets of her conversation with Tevos that ran through her head as the elevator took her slowly to Kaidan...

"_The asari have been down this road before, Commander Shepard."_

"_But Madame Councilor, let me-"_

"_I tried to smooth things over with the salarian dalatrass. To say she's upset would be a monumental understatement."_

"_Some of these issues are hundreds of years old. Time to let go."_

"_Sad to say, but any effort to ally these disparate groups seems doomed to failure. And I'm sure you understand that we cannot afford to waste time with the Reapers knocking at our door. This must be my final word – I'm sorry but the asari will not be at your summit."_

Shepard sighed again as the elevator arrived at Huerta and tried to set aside the failure in favor of her pleasure at being able to see Kaidan. She was having trouble clearing her mind, so she stopped in the gift shop and browsed for a moment, hoping that the mundane task would calm her. She spotted a dusty bottle of the Peruvian whiskey she knew Kaidan loved, and grabbed it down. Why not take him a gift? She thought and the simple act finally gave her some cheer and comfort.

She opened the door to Kaidan's room with a huge smile that fell as soon as she saw he wasn't alone.

"I'd like an answer as soon as possible, Commander," Udina was saying, "The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you – now more than ever."

"You'll have it soon, Councilor," Kaidan replied as he met her eyes over Udina's shoulder. "I promise."

"I look forward to it," Udina said, then turned to leave. He paused as he saw Shepard hovering the door. "Shepard," he greeted with a nod as he walked by her.

"Udina," she called back distractedly, though her eyes were only for Kaidan. She dismissed Udina from her mind a second later and walked to Kaidan's bed and smiled.

"Hey, Shepard," he greeted with a smile of his own. He grabbed her hand and tugged, and she got the message. She leaned over to meet his mouth in a kiss that was chaste and sweet, but still communicated so much more. She was still smiling when she sat in the chair beside his bed – and he was still holding her hand.

"Kaidan..." she greeted finally, and ran her eyes over him, studying him for signs of injury. He was bare-chested – and of course she couldn't help but notice that first – and his face still showed bruising from his injuries but his color was better and there were far less machines hooked up to him now. She nodded, happy with the visual proof that he was healing, and met his eyes, only to see that he had noticed her perusal and was giving her a cocked brow.

"Like what you see, Commander?" he asked with humor.

Her grin widened and she actually blushed a bit. "Are you flirting with me, Kaidan?" she asked with a laugh of her own.

"If you have to ask, I must be out of practice," he said with a flirtatious tilt of his lips that turned to a serious frown when he saw his words affect her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"I'm so sorry..." she trailed off and dipped her head. "I shouldn't have kept you away for so long."

"No, you shouldn't have," he told her seriously, "but we talked about this. It's over... I'm over it. You're here now, that's what matters."

"Yeah," she said, trying to shrug it off. "Yeah," she repeated in a stronger voice. She reached down and picked up the bottle of whiskey she had set on the floor when she sat down earlier. She handed it to him with a small smile, figuring now was a good time for a peace offering. "Hey, I bought this for you... I remembered you liked it," she told him as he took the bottle from her.

"Yeah, I do," he replied. "We'll have to crack it open and celebrate when I get out of here."

"I could probably spring you now," Shepard offered. "I've got Chakwas back in the Normandy med-bay, I'm sure Dr. Michel would release you into her care."

"She probably would..." Kaidan said but then he paused. "We should probably talk about Udina first though..."

"Yeah, he was pressing hard for your answer, I heard," Shepard replied with a nod, "I don't question his choice – you'd be perfect for the job - but what's the urgency?"

"I suspect he knows you're a lost cause," he told her with a grin and a squeeze of her hand to indicate that he was joking, "And he wants another human Spectre under his thumb."

"Then he doesn't know you at all," Shepard replied wryly and nudged their joined hands into Kaidan's side – gently, "So what's the debate? What's better than one human Spectre leading the fight against the Reapers I ask? Two human Spectres, you answer," she joked with a grin.

"That's just it, Shepard," Kaidan replied seriously, "A Spectre's duty is to the Council – and you're already off fighting the Reapers and they're vulnerable."

"So you're saying your duty would be to stay here and protect them?" she asked for clarification.

"I'm saying my first duty is to you – you're not just my commander, you're the woman I love, the mother of my child. My first duty will always be by your side," Kaidan told her fervently.

She leaned over and gave him the soft kiss those words deserved. When he was like this – sharing the depths of his emotions with such honesty - he stole her breath and squeezed her heart. When their lips parted, she sat back and smiled softly.

"Kaidan... I love you more than ever, and I'll stand by whatever decision you make," she told him, trying to give him the same honesty, "But the fight is on the front lines, where I am. I just worked with another Spectre here today..." She gave him a brief rundown of her experience with Kasumi (and passed along Kasumi's kiss) and Bau. "So the Council has protection. Not saying it's as good as you – but it's there. Maybe it's selfish. I don't know. But I can't stand to be away from you any more. I need you beside me in this," she met his eyes and let him see the stress and exhaustion finally.

He raised his hand to touch her cheek softly and she leaned into it. "I'll always be by your side," he told her quietly. "That's not selfish – we're both putting ourselves in danger to do that. I can't let you go through this alone... I'll tell Udina I'm declining the position," he finished firmly.

"No, Kaidan..." she protested. She sighed and tried again. "I'm not saying that. You deserve this. You've earned it. But you can have both. I wasn't kidding... Apparently this job isn't going to be a simple matter of show up, kill Reapers, go home. Having the weight of two Spectres behind any diplomatic requests we make along the way will make a difference. I need you with me – and I want you to take the position. You can do both – after all, isn't defeating the Reapers the greatest act of protection we can offer the Council?"

"Ok, Shepard, that does make sense," Kaidan said with a relieved smile as he saw her reasoning. "But it also means I'll have to stay on the Citadel a little longer..." he added with a sad look.

"You think I'd let you miss your own induction, Commander?" she replied with a stern look as she read his meaning easily. "You were there for mine - you should probably attend your own," _and I'll be there for yours,_ she added silently. It wasn't a promise she could make aloud – she wasn't totally sure she could keep it – but she would try her best.

"Ok," he answered again with an easy smile. "Then I can join the Normandy once I'm officially the second human Spectre."

"Mmmm," she agreed against his lips as she leaned over to seal their bargain with a kiss. She sat back a bit and added with a sly grin, "You know, Commander, the Normandy has been retrofitted..."

"Yeah?" he asked with a matching grin, "Does our cabin need to be um, christened again?" he asked – referring to their attempt to exorcise Cerberus demon's from every surface in the loft in the most pleasurable ritual ever.

"It might," Shepard replied teasingly. "We'll definitely have to do a thorough check." She leaned over for another – longer – kiss that they finally had to break for propriety's sake. Instead of sitting back this time, she laid her head on his chest in their familiar position so she could listen to his heart beat. He stroked her hair in companionable silence before he finally broke it to breach the topic they'd both been avoiding since she arrived.

"Any word from Earth?" he asked and cringed when he felt her tense. She tried to lift her head and sit back, but he restrained her with gentle pressure until she subsided against his chest.

"None yet," she told him quietly, and he felt her hot tears scald the bare skin of his chest.

"Ssshhh," he soothed. "We'll hear soon." They both knew it was an empty platitude, and they both realized that he had to offer it anyway. "I love you," he added, a simple truth that finally was real comfort.

"I love you, too," she sighed against his chest.

"Do you have to go soon?" he asked after another few moments of quiet.

"In the morning," she replied.

He slid to the far edge of the narrow bed and urged her to lay beside him. When they were huddled together in the cramped space and shifted until they found a reasonably comfortable position to rest, he finally spoke, "Stay with me, then? Until you have to go?"

"Mmm," she replied drowsily. She made an effort and spoke again more clearly, "What will Dr. Michel think?"

"That we love each other very much to be able to share this bed," Kaidan replied drily.

She laughed and didn't speak again until morning.


	7. With a Little Help From My Friends

_A/N - massive (10k+ words) double-post to say tgif and happy weekend to all today :-) *Cough* those who know me know that double post means smut ahead, second chapter of the post :-) Again, I played around with ME3 canon and order of events, cause we needed our Shenko, and we needed it NOW! Hope you don't mind XD  
_

_Thanks for your reviews, Meggo929, Lyv (I understood what you meant the first time, and your wish is my command - see next chapter XD), AirForceBrat, SurvivorHawke (no spoilers, but to answer your question - different than in ME3), and Gabe97! Every single word you write to me is precious and I thank you for taking the time to give me feedback! I do try to adjust things (within reason) as you all know :-) To everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, spending your time on my story is feedback of its own, and I appreciate it, too! Thanks for making my story a part of your busy days :-)  
_

_All credit for all things ME goes to Bioware, and I thank them for it! I also thank my beta, StoneburntHeart, for all her awesomeness :-)_

* * *

Shepard stood – clothed in dress blues – and watched as the salarian dalatrass joined her and Primarch Victus in the Normandy's conference room and then she perked up as she saw the krogan representative behind Dalatrass Linron's slight form. Urdnot Wrex walked tall and proud in his father's red armor, swiveling his head to take in the sights of this new Normandy as he went. Shepard gave him a genuine smile when he joined the rest of them in the conference room – her first one since she had kissed Kaidan goodbye on the Citadel two days ago and headed to the Annos Basin. She had arrived here to a tense standoff between the turian, krogan, and salarian ships that hovered just out of each others weapons range with the Normandy playing monkey in the middle. Shepard had finally had enough earlier this morning. She had opened coms with all three other ships and told them in no uncertain terms that they could play their childish games on their own time – they could all come to the Normandy for the summit and act like respected leaders while they were on neutral ground. Surprisingly, no one had argued, and now representatives of all three warring races were glaring at each other in her conference room. She was getting a headache... and she had gotten the message she'd been waiting for from Kaidan earlier, so she was impatient to return to the Citadel.

Shepard took her position at the head of the conference table and opened her mouth to greet her esteemed guests, when Dalatrass Linron got things started herself.

"The krogan is in no position to make demands," the salarian representative cried, eyeing Wrex warily.

Shepard sighed. _Here we go,_ she thought.

"The 'krogan' has a name: it's Urdnot Wrex," Wrex growled, "And I'm not just some junkyard varren you unleash whenever you're in trouble. I've got my own problems – Reaper scouts have arrived on Tuchanka. So why should I care if a few turians go extinct?"

"Trying to draw out negotiations will get you nowhere, Wrex," Victus interjected, "Just tell us what you want."

"I'll tell you what I need," Wrex stated as he leaned forward and thumped his fist on the table dramatically. "A cure for the genophage."

Dalatrass Linron reared back in surprise then turned to Wrex with a pointed finger raised. "Absolutely not!" she cried. "The genophage is non-negotiable."

_Ok, time to step in and play peacemaker,_ Shepard thought wearily. "Dalatrass, I'm fully aware of your people's history with the genophage, but why are you so opposed to considering Wrex's demand now?"

"Because my people uplifted the krogan," the dalatrass answered earnestly, "We know them best."

"You mean you used us," Wrex stepped in angrily, "To fight a war you couldn't win." He turned his back on the dalatrass and stood facing only Shepard. "It wasn't the salarians or the asari or even the turians that stopped the rachni. It was krogan blood that turned the tide."

"And after that you ceased to be useful!" Linron sneered and Wrex whirled to face her again. "The genophage was the only way to keep your... 'urges' in check," the dalatrass added, making both her meaning and her opinion of it abundantly clear. Wrex simply glared in response.

"Dalatrass you may not like him, but Wrex is right," this time it was Victus playing peacemaker. "Insulting him won't change that."

"I won't apologize for speaking the truth!" Linron replied. "We uplifted the krogan to do one thing: wage war. It's all they know because its all we wanted them to know."

"And, ironically, it's why we need them now," Shepard pointed out. "Dalatrass, your people should have thought this through... the krogan revolting shouldn't have been a surprise."

"That's precisely my point, Commander," the dalatrass said with satisfaction as she turned to Shepard. "We made a rash decision. We turned to the krogan in desperation. It's the same mistake you're about to make today. No good can come from curing the genophage."

"The krogan have paid for their mistakes," Shepard argued. "The genophage has gone on long enough." She spared a glance at Wrex and saw that he was watching her carefully. Their eyes met and they both remembered a different argument – one between the two of them on a sandy beach on Virmire. On that day, she had to deny him the cure his people sought so desperately. Today, she would do all in her power to ensure the krogan justice.

"One thousand, four hundred and seventy-six years, if you're keeping track," he filled in now.

"It was a thousand years of peace!" the dalatrass argued. "Free from these brutes," she spat the insult as if it were a bad taste in her mouth.

"Enough!" Victus cried and all eyes turned to him. "Whether they deserve a cure or not is academic. It would take years to formulate one."

"My information says otherwise," Wrex replied. He moved to the other end of the table and pressed a button on the terminal there. A holo formed in the air over the table, playing a video log he had accessed. It was blurry and unfocused, but Wrex's narration provided clarity. "A salarian scientist, Maelon, grew a conscience. He was on my planet testing a cure on our females."

Shepard remembered Maelon – less than fondly - and she interrupted to say so. "His methods were barbaric. His 'cure' resulted in death, more often than not."

"But other females survived his experiments," Wrex informed them. "So the dalatrass here sent in a team to clean up the whole mess – and to take them prisoner."

"Where did you get this?" Linron cried in an alarm that did more to confirm Wrex's information rather than deny them. "This could be a fabrication," she added weakly.

"Don't insult me!" Wrex retorted, waving an angry hand in her direction. "Those are my people. They're immune to the genophage – and you're going to give them back!"

"Dalatrass?" Shepard asked with a glare that was a warning all of its own.

To her credit, the dalatrass abandoned further denials and instead returned to her original arguments. "How will curing the genophage benefit my people?"

"How long do you think you'll last alone against the Reapers?" Shepard asked in frustration. "Because if you don't help, that's how it'll end up."

"And I'll be the last friendly turian you'll ever see," Victus added in support.

"What's it going to be?" Shepard pressed, tired of the endless arguments already.

"The females are being kept at one of our STG bases on Sur'Kesh," the dalatrass said with head in hands, finally defeated. She rallied for one more attack though, stabbing her finger in the air and adding, "But I warn you, Commander, the consequences of this-"

"Will be nothing compared to what the Reapers have in store for us," Shepard cut in and silenced her finally. She turned to Wrex and waved to him to follow her. She left the conference room and headed to the War Room. Once the door shut behind them, she turned back to him and spoke. "Wrex, the dalatrass isn't going to hand over your people without argument and I'm not inclined to play diplomat any longer."

He looked at her in suspicion then smiled slowly. "You want to force the salarians to hand them over – the hard way."

Shepard nodded and smiled grimly. "Maybe playing nice for two days has made me cranky, but yeah it sounds like the best option here," she paused a moment because she knew Wrex well, and he wasn't going to like the rest of her news. "We'll head to Sur'Kesh and retrieve your females - after we make a quick stop at the Citadel."

"The Citadel?" Wrex asked with narrowed eyes, "The Council won't help us."

"No, they won't," she confirmed then she gave a full grin, "But my badass biotic boyfriend will. And having two Council Spectres oversee the exchange will give even the STG pause."

Wrex knew her well enough to follow her obscure references, and didn't bother to question her. Instead, he gave a grin of his own and laughed, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, Shepard?" He slapped her on the back for emphasis and she kept her feet under the assault – barely. "Nothing like getting the old team back together, eh?"

"I tried to do that last time I saw you, but you were too busy playing king," Shepard reminded him, still grinning. "You can stay on the Normandy, my business on the Citadel won't take long," she added as she headed to the CIC to plot her course. Hopefully the dalatrass' shuttle had already left and she wouldn't be delayed further.

**#-#-#**

She made it to the Citadel Tower just in time – despite the efforts of what she considered the slowest elevator in the galaxy. She was glad that she had been in dress uniform for the summit when she approached the dais and saw Kaidan in his as well. Much different from her induction – if she remembered correctly, they were both dressed in full armor on that occasion. She raised a brow and gave Kaidan a slow smile when she saw his look of surprise and welcome turn to a very different sort of smile when he took in her appearance. Since she was fairly sure her look communicated her appreciation of him in dress blues, too, she didn't question it. There was just something about an officer in uniform. She straightened her collar and tried to give the ceremony the solemnity it deserved as Councilor Tevos called Kaidan forward.

"Commander Alenko, please step forward," Tevos said with proper gravitas. When Kaidan stepped to the center of the dais, she nodded and a hush fell over the crowd in the gallery. "It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Branch of the Citadel. We are honored to chose you as only the second human Spectre. Congratulations, Commander."

Tevos' omni-tool glowed for a brief time as she updated Kaidan's status and with that short speech and another nod, the induction was complete. The crowd in the gallery gave a massive cheer as the asari councilor led the others off the dais. Only Udina remained behind.

"Commander Alenko, I'll expect you in my office after the reception," Udina growled to Kaidan though his eyes narrowed when he saw Shepard over his shoulder. "To review your orders," he clarified.

"Actually," Shepard stepped in with a tight smile, "Commander Alenko is still active in the Alliance military – so as his commanding officer, I'll be giving him orders." She tried really hard not to smirk when she announced, despite his glare, "He's needed on the Normandy, ASAP."

Kaidan and Shepard didn't give Udina time to reply, instead they turned and headed to the elevator. Once the doors swallowed them and the interminable journey began, Kaidan turned to Shepard with a grin.

"I'm so glad you're getting me out of here, I'm not even going to argue about being treated like a piece of meat," he said jauntily before he sobered and added, "But what's up?"

"The turians won't help Earth unless the krogan help Palaven. And the krogan won't help the turians unless the salarians cure the genophage. And the salarians are hiding away the survivors of Maelon's experiments at an STG base," she summarized before she sighed and turned to him with a look of frustration. "You know, just once, I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, 'Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached.'"

Kaidan laughed a bit and slung an arm over her shoulder in an act of friendship and support. "Come on, Commander," he said as the elevator finally reached the docking bay, "Let's go shoot some salarians, it'll make you feel better."

Shepard grinned and headed to the Normandy's airlock. "You know me so well," she replied as they walked.

**#-#-#**

Three hours later, Shepard sat in the Kodiak with Wrex, Kaidan, and Liara as Cortez hovered them over the salarian homeworld. She had, as usual, given careful consideration to her squad selection. She had rejected EDI and James easily – she wasn't about to introduce EDI's new body to Kaidan without warning, and she wasn't up for another testosterone-fueled pissing contest. She had been inclined to take Garrus, until she saw the hopeful set of Liara's face when she had come to the CIC to greet Kaidan and welcome him back. Her friend cared for Kaidan too, and bringing her would serve to reassure her that he was healed after the trauma of watching him struck low on Mars. So she had picked Liara to join Kaidan (and that choice was automatic, despite her lingering concern for his health). Wrex – well, there was no way he'd allow this to go down without him, and she wasn't about to argue with her old friend. He had more stakes in this game than anyone.

They had com'd ahead to the base and been informed that the salarians would release their prisoners without a fight. It had been both relief and disappointment. Shepard was still itching to kill someone, but she'd rather not complicate matters more than necessary. To that end, as they approached the STG base, she spoke to Wrex in warning.

"The salarians really aren't used to seeing krogan on their homeworld," she said casually. "So let's keep it simple. We land, get the females, and leave before anyone changes their mind."

"I still don't trust a word they say," Wrex growled, checking his shotgun.

"We'll let diplomacy play out," Shepard said neutrally, "You'll get what you want, Wrex."

"These females are the best and probably last hope for my people," Wrex growled.

Liara approached from her seat in the back. She placed a supportive hand on their old friend's arm. When Wrex turned his attention to her, she spoke quietly.

"We'll get them back for you, Wrex," she reassured. "Don't worry."

"I appreciate it, Liara," Wrex said as his demeanor softened. "Wouldn't want to have anyone else along for the ride." Kaidan gave a polite cough from the corner. "I suppose I can make room for you, too, Kaidan," Wrex said with a laugh.

"Good to know you haven't gotten soft sitting on that throne of yours," Kaidan replied with a grin.

"Heh, you saw the thing – hard to get soft on that," Wrex shot back with a laugh.

"True enough," Kaidan acceded.

"Commander, I have the salarian base on sensors," Cortez reported from the cockpit.

"Set her down," Shepard ordered.

Cortex nodded and moved to comply, when they were hovering, just a few feet above the ground, a beep from the com distracted him. He read the message and reported, "Commander, salarian ground control says we don't have clearance to land."

"Tell them the dalatrass has authorized this herself," it was only a slight stretch of the truth. Before leaving for her shuttle, the dalatrass had left word with Traynor that 'Shepard could do whatever she thought was necessary, just leave her out of it.'

"I knew they'd never keep their word," Wrex rumbled from behind them. He moved to the back of the shuttle and murmured, "Let's see them try to stop a krogan airdrop." He opened the shuttle door.

"Wrex!" Shepard turned in alarm as she realized what he intended, but she was too late. Wrex jumped to the ground, shotgun in hand.

"Unauthorized landing!" they heard a salarian cry through the open shuttle door.

"Yeah, and who authorized you to hold my race hostage?" Wrex's voice boomed in reply.

Shepard sighed and headed for the shuttle door. This was getting out of hand quickly. She jumped to the ground and noted Liara and Kaidan followed while she concentrated on Wrex – he was now frozen, hands up, and several laser sights from nearby snipers showed on his chest. More salarians rushed to join the standoff and Shepard moved to defend her friend but heard another voice cry out at the same time and stopped.

"Wait! Stop!" a salarian in dark armor raced to front of the group. He saw her and swiveled his head to her in appeal. "Commander Shepard, restrain your colleague! We didn't have much advance notice here."

Shepard nodded and accepted the blame. "I would like to avoid a diplomatic incident," she responded.

"As would we," the salarian replied, much more relaxed now as she approached.

"You do have something valuable to Wrex," she continued once she was in range to not shout – or be overhead by hotheaded krogan.

"This matter can be resolved," the salarian replied, "but he must remain under guard," he added with voice raised. Wrex's responding growl made it clear he had heard – as intended.

"We can handle this, Wrex," Shepard said as she turned to her krogan friend and gave him a silent plea with her eyes.

Wrex sheathed his shotgun and submitted to the salarians reluctantly. "Anything goes wrong, all bets are off," he warned.

Shepard nodded and moved to follow the salarian who had taken charge.

"I'm Padock Wiks and I appreciate your understanding, Commander," the salarian introduced himself as he led Shepard and her squad into the facility, "With war on everyone's minds, our people are on edge."

They passed under an overhead tram system and looked up as the sound of a mechanism drew their eyes. A yahg jostled within the transparent container, glowing blue when it touched the walls, and a soldier cried, "Careful, watch the containment shield!"

"I'd hoped to never see one of those again," Liara muttered quietly from behind Shepard.

"You and me both," Kaidan replied with emphasis.

"As you can see, this base contains sensitive information," Wiks offered in response.

"What kind of work goes on here?" Shepard asked in curiosity.

"Evolutionary trials. Morphological simulations. Exogenetic assessments." Wiks replied unhelpfully.

"Nothing is ever simple with salarians, is it?" Shepard asked rhetorically.

"Science has always been our best defense," Wiks said with the salarian version of a shrug. "The research we do here has kept Sur'Kesh safe for millennia."

"Does that include studying lost krogan?" Shepard asked, knowing that she was pushing her luck, but unable to stave the irritation and impatience anyway.

"The females were in poor health when we found them on Tuchanka," Wiks replied a little defensively. "They were brought here to stabilize their condition."

"I'd like to see them," Shepard demanded.

"Of course, I'll clear you for the lower levels," Wiks replied. "Give me a few moments, and meet me near the elevator," he added as he wandered away.

"We should probably make sure Wrex is going to play nice," Kaidan murmured to her from over her shoulder.

"Yeah, good point," Shepard agreed. They wandered to the other side of the facility where Wrex was submitting to his guard – reluctantly.

"Checking up on me?" Wrex said as they approached. His voice showed just how grumpy he was.

"Just making sure you're not planning to make a difficult situation impossible," Shepard replied pointedly.

"Shepard, I don't like this... I should be the one going in," he replied, confirming her fears.

"How bout you stay here anyway and we fight one war at a time?" she said, hoping he'd get the message. Finally.

He sighed and relaxed, turned to her. "That was just good old-fashioned krogan hot air," he waved off his grumpiness. "If it had been real – they'd be dead," he added with a wave to his salarian guards.

"Who tipped you off about the females being here?" Kaidan asked. It had been the one question Shepard hadn't been able to answer in the briefing. And a sign of her distraction that she hadn't asked before now.

"Sorry, but they're listening to every word we say," Wrex rumbled. "I prefer my salarian liver served raw," he added with a humor his guards didn't appreciate. "Besides, you'd think this is the kind of thing the Shadow Broker would have known about," he added with a sly look at Liara. "Too bad I don't know him. Or her."

"I'm sure the Broker was very busy," Liara defended herself and kept the pretense.

"What do you know about the females?" Shepard pressed. Kaidan was right – she really should have asked these questions before.

"They weren't fertile, so we used them as decoys to draw our enemies from the ones who were," Wrex explained bluntly, "But Maelon's experiments changed that. And these pyjacks stole them out from under our noses. And now Clans Jorgal and Ravanor have Reaper landing parties on Tuchanka. It may be a pile of radioactive rubble, but its our pile and we'll fight to the last krogan to keep it that way. But no, instead you want the krogan to fight your monsters for you, as usual. So these fertile females are our price."

"That's what I've always liked about you, Wrex," Liara said with a smile.

"My smoldering good looks?" Wrex bantered with a many-toothed grin.

"There is that," she confirmed with a grin of her own, "But you've never given up, and that determination's about to pay off."

"Yeah," Wrex replied softly. "Who would have thought back on Virmire that we'd be standing here doing this together?"

Since that was the perfect opening and aligned with thoughts she had herself about the situation, Shepard took that moment to step in. "Remember what I asked you to do that day, on Virmire?" she said to Wrex.

"To trust you and to follow your lead," Wrex replied solemnly.

"I won't let you down, Wrex," Shepard met his eyes and let him see the promise there too.

"I know you won't Shepard," he nodded and she turned away satisfied.

She was nearly back to Padock Wiks at the elevator when she spotted another familiar face. She held up her hand to Wiks to indicate she'd be right over and diverted the squad to another salarian who bent over a nearby terminal.

"Captain Kirrahe?" she asked to confirm her memory when she approached.

"Commander Shepard," Kirrahe greeted as he stood and stuck out his hand for a shake. "It's Major Kirrahe now. I heard that you were on base."

"Good to see you again," Shepard replied as she completed the hand shake. "And congratulations on the promotion."

"Yes, due in no small part to our mission on Virmire," Kirrahe explained. "'Hold the line'... you saved my men that day."

Kaidan stepped forward for a shake of his own. "Good to see a familiar face, Major," he greeted with salarian with a smile.

"Lieutenant Alenko," Kirrahe said in pleased recognition before he noted the insignia on Kaidan's armor and corrected himself, "Lieutenant _Commander_ Alenko... Deft hand with the explosives. I still use your methods when I teach my new demolitions troops."

"Yeah, that's me – bomb expert," Kaidan replied with an arched brow at Shepard who just shrugged.

"It seems the Reapers have a way of bringing us together," Kirrahe missed the byplay and replied ironically.

"How did you get posted to this base?" Shepard asked curiously. A soldier like this should be out leading troops not guarding scientists, in her opinion.

"I led the team on Tuchanka that found the females," Kirrahe explained. "Nasty business. Maelon may have meant well but his operation was crude. Test subjects were unaccounted for. Females easily escaped his lab."

"You sound like you don't approve of keeping the females here," Shepard observed.

"Our scientists say its important to study the females," Kirrahe replied, "'Evolutionary paradigms,'" he mocked, complete with air quotes. "I say, when people know you're hiding something valuable, they'll want to steal it. Either way, I have my orders, they'll be your problem soon enough."

"I guess we're both still feeling the effects of Virmire," Shepard replied with a shrug.

"Yes, ironic," Kirrahe confirmed. "You destroyed the genophage cure, yet now its the key to an alliance. Your standoff with Urdnot Wrex is still legend with STG."

"Yeah, I'm sure you saw his entrance," Shepard replied with a grin. "He's agreed to submit to his guards but maybe you can keep an eye on him while I head to the females with Wiks?"

"I'll do my best to keep peace, Commander Shepard," Kirrahe confirmed.

"It was good to see you, Major," Shepard said in parting.

He nodded and she directed the squad to the salarian waiting at the elevator. Wiks looked up as he saw them approach.

"You have clearance now to see the females, Commander," he told her. "I hope we can resolve this without enacting the Krogan Rebellions," he added with a pointed glance to Wrex.

"Wrex will behave," Shepard reassured him.

"The elevator has been coded for you," Wiks told her, "Take it to the lower levels when you're ready."

Shepard approached the elevator and waited for it to scan her. Just as the doors opened, alarms began to sound. Shepard turned back to Wiks, who scurried to her side.

"_Alert, threat condition two has been declared. Scramble readiness teams,"_ the loudspeaker announced.

"Wiks... What's happening?" Shepard asked in alarm.

"Sensors have picked up activity on the perimeter," he told her as he read information off his omni-tool. "Hurry, Commander, someone will meet you below," he added, motioning her into the elevator.

The squad stepped into the car and the doors closed around them. Everyone checked their weapons. They knew better than to hope 'activity on the perimeter' was benign.

When the elevator doors opened again, they stepped out onto the lower level of the base and alarms were still blaring.

"_Base personnel must remain on-site until further notice,"_ the voice over the loudspeaker called.

Shepard took in the dim surroundings – a lab facility, but dark and cramped – and noted that salarians were scrambling everywhere in chaos and confusion, but they seemed to be moving with purpose. Her trained eyes finally settled on the salarian that appeared to be in charge, and she started as she recognized him.

"Mordin?" she called in utter surprise.

"Shepard! Excellent timing!" Mordin Solus looked up from his omni-tool and greeted her. "Good to have you here," he told her as they approached. "And Alenko," he added with a nod as he saw the rest of the squad.

Shepard and Kaidan stretched out their hands and they shook their greetings with their old friend. "What are you doing here, Mordin?" Kaidan asked the question on the top of both their minds.

"Surprise understandable," Mordin said in his typically Mordin way. "Hadn't expected to return to work."

"You're back with STG?" Shepard asked.

"Special consultant," Mordin confirmed with a nod. "Had to be me. Someone else may have gotten it wrong." Mordin looked left and right at the salarians around them and then leaned in conspiratorially and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Helped female krogan. Fed information to Clan Urdnot. Encouraged political pressure to free krogan females," he told them.

"So he's Wrex's inside source then," Kaidan said with a grin. He really had missed his salarian friend.

"Yes," Mordin answered though Kaidan's comment had been to Shepard. "Can explain later. Security warnings not normal. Need to get offworld for sake of krogan."

He turned and led them further into the lab. "Females had weakened immune systems. Side effect of Maelon's cure," he explained as they walked. They approached a glass enclosure and he stopped and gestured to the contents. Behind the window, several corpses lay draped in sombre brown blankets. "These didn't survive," he explained sadly.

"But what about Maelon's research?" Shepard questioned. "We saved it – didn't it help?"

"Data saved but not complete," Mordin replied. "Lacks crucial details to reconstruct cure, but still useful for synthesizing from living tissue. Couldn't save them," he concluded with a sad sniff.'

"I'm sure you did everything you could, Mordin," Kaidan said and placed a hand on the salarian's shoulder.

"Arrived too late," he replied angrily, "Cannot delay now. One survivor. Immune to genophage. Can synthesize cure from her tissue." He hurried to another part of the lab as they followed.

"She's still here?" Shepard guessed.

"Yes," Mordin confirmed as they arrived at another enclosure. "Last hope for krogan. If she dies, genophage cure... problematic." They peered behind the glass to see the large figure that huddled in the darkness beyond. She was vaguely krogan-shaped but completely covered, only her eyes showed through a small strip in her veil – and even that was obscured with vertical gold chains. She was held upright in a type of portable gurney. Shepard stepped up for a closer look but stopped at Mordin's warning. "Please be careful. Krogan slow to trust."

"I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy," Shepard told the krogan female.

"Are you here to kill me?" the female asked slowly.

"Goddess, what she's been through," Liara murmured as a holo of the female hovered above her active omni-tool.

"We came here with Urdnot Wrex to take you home," Shepard reassured.

"Why? What am I to you?" the female replied suspiciously.

"You're the future of the krogan race," Shepard told her, "I'm fighting for that." The alarms in the facility clanged louder and red lights began to flash, warning them that the danger was drawing closer.

"Then I hope that you brought an army," the krogan female replied.

"_Alert! Unidentified vessels have breached the perimeter!"_ the salarian on the loudspeaker announced.

"Give me an update," Mordin called to a nearby soldier.

"Outbound communications have been severed," the soldier reported. "We've been cut off. We have multiple ships inbound."

Shepard's omni-tool flashed an incoming call. She opened it and Wrex stared back at her from its screen. _"Shepard!"_ he growled. _"Cerberus troops are attacking the base."_

Shepard and Kaidan shared a look. Once was a coincidence. This was one time too many.

"_Get the females out of there now!"_ Wrex ordered from the omni-tool on her wrist and drew her attention back to him.

"Only one survived, Wrex," she told him. "It might be safer to dig in down here and defend her."

"_What? So the salarians can kill her like the others?"_ he scoffed. _"No deal. If you still want this alliance, get her out of there."_

"You heard him," Shepard said to the salarian soldiers around them. "We're leaving, and she's coming with us. Release the female."

"I can't," a nearby scientist told her, "Protocol states during lockdown no specimen-" The salarian's words were cut off as he spasmed from electrical shock. Mordin stood behind him, omni-tool engaged.

"Objection noted," Mordin stated calmly. "Now please release krogan."

"I like you, Mordin," Kaidan said with a grin.

Mordin watched as the scientist complied, then moved into the 'pod' that housed the krogan female. "Need to monitor pod as it clears quarantine procedures," he explained. "Meet us at next checkpoint," he told the squad. "Likely Cerberus opposes genophage cure," he surmised.

"Or it just opposes me in general," Shepard added drily. "You'll see Tuchanka again, I promise," she said to the female.

"Get to elevator, Shepard," Mordin urged.

Shepard nodded and motioned her team out.

**#-#-#**

The team quickly discovered that going back up via the elevator was out – Cerberus had planted a bomb there which detonated once Shepard opened the doors, and nearly gave Kaidan a heart attack until he grabbed her and yanked her back to safety just in time. Once they recovered from the explosion, the salarians nearby directed them to the emergency exit on the other side of the lab. They rushed in the direction they were pointed and found a ladder to take them up a level.

As they climbed the ladder, Mordin informed them that Cerberus forces had arrived at the checkpoint and they were under attack and Wrex reported that he had 'taken' the shuttle and was prepared to retrieve them once they got the female to the landing pad.

"Nag, nag, nag," Shepard mumbled as she climbed.

"Wonder how Cortez feels about our new pilot?" Kaidan wondered aloud and got an 'accidental' boot to the top of his helmet for a reply. "Forgot to mention how nice the... views... on Sur'Kesh are, Shepard," he bantered in return.

"Keep your eyes forward, Commander," Shepard replied, but they both knew she was grinning.

The reached the level and went through a door and around a corner to find the formerly peaceful setting had become a warzone. STG forces had taken up position and were fighting off Cerberus troops who continually dropped in from hovering shuttles. Shepard charged the first trooper, not even bothering to pause for orders. This squad had worked together often enough that they didn't need her direction, and she trusted Kaidan and Liara implicitly in battle. They quickly cleared the area of enemies and rushed forward to the door to access the next area.

"Shepard! Hurry, Cerberus in vicinity," Mordin called over coms.

"We're on our way," she reassured as the door opened and they moved through. Then they stopped short. A small group of Cerberus troops was wiped out by one vicious swipe from the now-free yahg's claws. Their unlikely ally turned and roared at them before it took off in the other direction. Unfortunately, its careless swipe had also opened a nearby gas pipe and the hallway was wreathed in flames.

As Shepard searched for an alternate route, she joked cheerily, "Careful, there goes the next Shadow Broker." She vaulted a low wall nearby that allowed them to pass around the flames.

"Yeah, could have sworn he was muttering 'T'Soni' the whole time," Kaidan added as he followed.

"Not funny," Liara replied drily as she followed in the rear.

Once they bypassed the fire, they found another set of stairs and climbed to the next level. Once again, Mordin urged them to hurry. Once again, Cerberus decided to make their lives more difficult.

"The checkpoint's under fire," Shepard called to her squad as she charged a nearby trooper. She saw a singularity form and suck in two troopers to her right when the ones on her left were flung backwards in a pull. Together, they dispatched the group easily and Shepard ran to the checkpoint.

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked as she operated the console.

"Containment shield is holding," Mordin confirmed, "Will try to repair if necessary. Can't speak for krogan's health, however."

"I'm fine, Commander," the krogan female asserted.

"Females kept secret," Mordin added, "Possibly a mole in STG. Could be indoctrinated. If no krogan alliance with turians, Reapers left unchallenged."

"We'll do more than challenge them," Shepard replied grimly. She finished releasing the pod and Mordin and the female began to ascend.

"Shepard, meet us at next checkpoint," Mordin told her before they were out of earshot. "Cerberus likely to target-"

His words were cut off as a new wave of Cerberus troops dropped in.

"Likely to target now," Shepard replied and brought her shotgun up to attack.

**#-#-#**

After another checkpoint (which Shepard had Kaidan man – he was just much faster at it), rerouting the power to emergency systems, and with some assistance from Kirrahe, the squad finally escorted Mordin and the krogan female safely to the landing pad. Kaidan released the pod for final approval and it looked like they were clear. Cerberus, however was not done.

"_Shepard! Heads up! You've got incoming!"_ Wrex warned as they were watching the pod transfer to the loading area. They turned and watched as a large Atlas mech fell to the ground between them and safety.

Shepard motioned the squad into cover and ducked behind a planter herself.

"_Shepard! I can't land until you deal with that thing, it's too dangerous," _Wrex growled.

"We're useless against this thing," she called to her squad. "Biotics and charges aren't gonna work. Target the operator," she ordered. "If we take him out, it's done." She saw Kaidan and Liara nod and raise their weapons. It was a long and frustrating fight, but Shepard finally shattered the glass protecting the Cerberus trooper in the pilot's seat and the next burst from Kaidan took him out. The Atlas ground to a halt with a mechanical whir. They easily dispatched the remaining troopers and rushed to the shuttle.

"What took you so long?" Wrex taunted as they approached. "Getting slow in your old age?"

"Nice to see you've mellowed in yours," Kaidan replied with a grin.

They released the krogan female from the pod and Wrex stretched out an arm to assist her out, which she pointedly ignored. Instead, she grabbed his shotgun and dispatched an incoming wave of Cerberus troops before handing the gun back with an imperious, "I can handle myself, Wrex," as she headed to the waiting shuttle.

"Women," Wrex muttered with a shrug which caused Kaidan to grin until they saw Shepard glaring at them. She broke off and headed to one of the troopers that was still struggling on the ground.

"We..." the Cerberus soldier muttered in pain as he bled out. Shepard drew her pistol and pointed it at him.

"Why is Cerberus here?" she questioned, ignoring his suffering, "What do you want?" She reached for him, intending to shake him, but he gasped and died before she could touch him. She growled in frustration before she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw Kaidan standing over her. She took his hand and let him help her up.

"Come on," he said quietly, "Nothing more we can do here."

She nodded and followed him back to the shuttle.

**#-#-#**

Once back on the Normandy, Shepard directed Mordin and the female krogan to the med-bay, changed out of her armor, and updated Admiral Hackett. She stopped in the CIC and found Kaidan there, speaking with Traynor.

"Hey, I was looking for you," she told Kaidan. "What's up?"

"Traynor was just telling me she found something while scanning Alliance channels," Kaidan told her.

"Yes," Traynor stepped in to take over the explanation. "Grissom Academy is requesting help. The Reaper invasion front will hit them soon."

"We have old friends there," Shepard replied and met Kaidan's eyes. He nodded. He'd already made the connection. "Mordin needs more time to work with the krogan female, although both Wrex and Victus need my attention... How long to get to the Academy?" she asked rhetorically as she stepped to the galaxy map to plot the course herself.

"We can be there in the morning," Traynor replied unnecessarily. "A turian evac transport did reply to their call," she added, "so normally I'd say this wasn't urgent. But something sounded off in the turian signal. I had EDI perform an analysis. It's fake."

"A fake turian signal?" Shepard repeated with rising alarm. Again she met Kaidan's eyes and saw he had reached the same conclusion. "Sounds familiar."

"Yes, Kaidan said it was a Cerberus trick?" Traynor replied in confusion.

"Long story," Shepard waved off her question. "It's been a long day... We'll check it out when we arrive tomorrow." She stepped off the galaxy map platform and moved to the elevator. Before she reached it, she turned back to Kaidan with a raised brow. "Coming?" she asked pointedly.

He rushed to her side with a grin. When the elevator arrived and the doors closed behind them, he turned to her with a sheepish look. "I wasn't sure what the arrangements would be... I put my things in Starboard Obs... I didn't want to assume."

Shepard stepped into his arms and kissed him quickly to shut him up. She looked up with a grin and said, "Kaidan, we lived together most of our time with Cerberus, we stayed in the same room at your parents house, we have a kid together... Next time, just _assume_."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied and drew her in for a kiss that lasted until the elevator deposited them outside their cabin. She unlocked the door and drew him back into her arms.

Once inside, she broke their kiss long enough to call, "EDI, make sure the door is coded for Commander Alenko's entry as well as mine," and received the AI's acknowledgment. "You can keep your things in Starboard Obs if you want," she told Kaidan, "After all, the XO needs an office and Liara has taken over the actual XO office... But you'll sleep here. And that's an order," she finished with a grin against his mouth.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered before he lifted her and carried her to their bed.


	8. I Will Remember You

_A/N - As I did with TTT, smut sections in TTK will be separated into their own chapter, and here's the first one! If that's not your thing, go ahead and skip this, you won't miss any plot... For the rest of you, this chapter is **well-deserving of the M-rating**, contains nothing but **fluffy Shenko smut**, and is **completely NSFW**!_

_As always, my thanks to Bioware for all things ME, though perhaps they never intended them to do this XD and to my beta, StoneburntHeart, who very much approves when they do things like this :-)_

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Kaidan set Shepard back on her feet beside the bed and drew her back in his arms. He brought their mouths together again and although they'd barely stopped kissing since they'd walked in the cabin and they were both panting with shared passion at this point, he breathed against her and tried to slow things down. It had been forever since they'd touched... a lifetime it seemed, and so much had changed since to make every moment that wasn't filled with death one to celebrate, but still, he fought the urge to hurry. He wanted to savor and enjoy her, to show her once again - as always - how much she meant to him. So he tried to keep the kiss light and framed her face gently with his hands as he ran his lips over hers in a barely there touch. Unfortunately, she hadn't gotten the memo, and after the first few light brushes she growled under his mouth and tried to step closer. He simply stepped back and evaded her, moved his lips to her ear, and his hands to her shoulders. She stood patiently – for about five more seconds – before she growled and tried to yank him closer. Finally he stepped back and put enough distance between them that he got her attention. She met his eyes with irritation clear in hers.

"What gives, Kaidan?" she asked in frustration.

"I'm trying to make love to you," he said with a patient smile.

"Hmm, I realize that," she growled and reached for him but he batted her hands away gently. "But do you realize how long its been?"

"I'm fully aware of how long its been," he growled back, "that's why I want to do this right, Shepard."

She changed tactics and slid closer to him with a soft smile. She kissed the corner of his mouth and pulled back just enough to murmur, "You always do this right, Kaidan... I was just hoping you'd do it, you know, a little faster... At least, just to get the first time over with."

He surprised her and pushed her back onto the bed. When she was sprawled on her back, looking up at him with surprised eyes, she smiled in satisfaction at first. The smile turned to a confused look when he didn't immediately join her, but instead, stood glaring at her. She arched a brow in question.

"You make it sound like something we have to check off our to-do list, Shepard," he explained with irritation. "I'm not going to treat you like some distasteful chore," then he finally smiled and lowered himself to the bed over her. "And I'm not going to argue about it, either, just so you can work out your frustrations." He bent his head and took her mouth, and although this kiss was still light, it held worlds of promise. He pulled back just enough to murmur against her lips, "I'm going to make love to the woman who means more to me than anything else in the world. And I'm going to do it in a way that leaves no doubt in her mind how I feel." Again he took her mouth, and this time the kiss was scorching and stole her breath. When he pulled back and met her eyes, they were full of passion and love not irritation. "Any other objections?" he asked with a raised brow.

"When you put it that way, no," Shepard replied with a smile before she met his hungry mouth again. They opened to each other and lips and tongues met and danced, but now neither tried to rush or race. Rather, they explored, relearning each other with every touch and taste. Their hands swept over each other, making the same journey, reminding themselves this was home, this was their mate. It was a welcoming, a homecoming, and they reveled in it. When relearning wasn't enough and neither could deny the passion that always simmered just beneath the surface for them, they began to undress each other. This too, was a reunion – as each new area of skin was revealed, hungry mouths and hands explored areas denied to them so long.

Kaidan kissed down the length of her throat and to the collarbone he'd just bared when he removed her shirt. He licked against the raised flesh there, relearning the taste and feel of her under his tongue. Shepard ran flat palms down his bare back and closed gentle fingers over the rolling muscles there, arching her own back to give his mouth better access to the skin he was exploring. She brought her hands up to his head and tunneled them through his hair as he swept his hands up and cupped her breasts, still encased in her bra. He kissed a path across her collarbone and down her cleavage as he kneaded her flesh. When his lips were right over her heart, he slipped his hands behind her and unhooked the bra. He swept it down and off and sat back to stare at the flesh he had just revealed. The look in his eyes stole her breath and she gasped. The gasp turned to a moan when his head descended again and took her nipple in his warm, wet mouth. He sucked her gently, and she clutched at his shoulders, arching into his touch again.

"Oh, gods, I've missed you," she groaned as he switched to her other nipple and gave it equal treatment.

"Mmm," he moaned his agreement against her flesh and sent shivers down her spine with the dual effect of hot mouth and vibration.

She squirmed a bit and tried to reach between them to touch him but he evaded her again. There were limits to his control, and he wasn't going to last long if she touched him. Instead, he appeased her by sweeping his own hands down and between her thighs. He parted her and settled between them and gently rocked his hips into her so she could feel his need. She groaned and arched again and he moved his mouth back to hers and swallowed it in a kiss. He reached between them and found the fastening of her pants and undid it as he kissed her to distraction. When he pulled back from the kiss to drag her pants and underwear down her legs and off, she stared at him with surprise showing in her passion-drugged gaze and he couldn't help but grin. Not easy to surprise Commander Shepard... he must be doing something right.

She reached for him while he was distracted by her and nearly undid him with a gentle sweep of her open hand against his still-covered hardness, but he breathed deeply and reached for control. He swept her hands out of the way and did the job for her, throwing his pants and underwear in the direction of hers. When they were both finally, blissfully, naked, he settled back between her parted thighs and hissed a breath as he felt his hard heated flesh meet skin that was passion-soaked and equally searing with heat of its own. He took her mouth again and trailed seeking hands down her side, stopping briefly to trace over her breasts, then finding the heat he needed to touch like he needed his next breath. He skimmed her slick folds with touches that were so slow and light, they'd be called worship in another context. She moaned again into their kiss and arched her hips, asking for more, for different. He traced the peak of her passion, still in wonder of the heat under his fingers.

"Kaidan," she broke their kiss to protest, "please..." One word that said so many things, but most of all, please don't tease... not now, not this time.

He met her mouth again and answered that plea – the way they both wanted more than anything. He slid deep into the welcome embrace of her body and gasped as she closed around him in tight wet heat. He found he couldn't breathe in that instant, he simply lost the ability as the intense sensation of being joined with her again washed over them both. She too was deeply affected, as her deep sigh into their kiss indicated. He tried to keep them there, suspended in this moment of utter and perfect bliss, but the fire that held them firmly in its grasp now raged and threatened to consume them. He slid his hands down her arms and met hers and twined them together, then he stretched them together to either side of her head and used them as leverage as he drew himself as far out of her as he could go and still be joined to her then slid back in with a quick thrust of his hips against hers.

When he was seated to the hilt inside her again, filling her so deeply, she lifted her legs and twined them around him and tried to trap him, keep him inside her so that he couldn't leave. But again, the fire roared and he was forced to retreat, withdrawing to the tip. She bemoaned the loss for half a heartbeat before he sank into her again, giving her the fullness she craved. And so the dance began, one to which they knew the steps so well, one that every pair of lovers since the dawn of time had danced – each in their own unique way. Between them, it was a constant give and take... a continual loss and gain. Now, in this moment of utter intimate bonding, they were of one mind. Neither wanted to rush or race, despite the heat that threatened to consume them. Each wanted to cling, savor, and prolong. They moved together of one accord, each trying to ignore the building pressure to finish, to complete the dance in a perfect moment of utter bliss. Each mirrored the others steps perfectly, with the ease of two people who know each other on the most intimate of levels. Finally, when they were both breathless and sweaty with exertion and they could no longer deny the flames that licked at their very souls, they swept each other into the inferno and gladly, happily surrendered to it. They moaned their pleasure into each others mouths and in that moment neither could say where one ended and the other began. No longer two beings, but one – joined the way they were born to be.

He stayed with her, kissing her mouth, cheeks, jaw, ears, and even her eyelids as they floated back together. When the swell of pleasure finally subsided into gentle peaceful waves, he sucked in a deep breath and rolled them both so that he was on his back and she collapsed over his chest. He brought his hand up to stroke her hair and gave silent thanks that even now, in the middle of war and pain and death, they could have this. With this, he could endure anything.

She laid her head right over the still elevated beat of his heart and sighed against him. She closed her eyes as she felt him stroke her hair and sighed again as his arms wrapped her in a warm safe embrace. When they were like this, no danger or horror from the world could touch her. She knew he stood guard over her very heart, and she loved him with every thing that she was. She tried in her waking moments to never think of the time she had been without him – her subconscious tortured her often enough with her memory of that loss – but in times like these, with his heart beating solidly and comfortingly under her ear, she could truly forget. She was safe. She was home.

"I'm sorry for being cranky," she muttered against his chest finally. "You were right."

He gave a gentle tug on her hair until she took the hint and met his gaze. His amber eyes were shining with love and she detected no hint of censure. "Don't apologize," he told her softly. "Never to me. You've had plenty of reason to be cranky lately. I just wanted this to be special."

"It was... so special," she told him as she returned his smile. "I love you so much, Kaidan."

"I love you, too," he said and gently pushed her head back down to his chest. "And I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for quickies – if that's what you want."

She giggled – a sound she would die of embarrassment to make in front of anyone but Kaidan – and replied, "Damn straight, the Reapers can't have all my attention..." she sobered then and looked back up at him. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He drew her in for a soft kiss. When he pulled back, he murmured against her lips, "Ssshh, you'll never have to find out..." Since they both knew it wasn't true, she had already had to find out, he searched for a way to chase the shadows from her eyes. "You know," he said slowly after he gave her another kiss, "If you're in the mood for one of those quickies, I could probably oblige after a little sleep."

She grinned against his mouth and he noticed with relief that his ploy had worked. "I'll definitely take you up on that, Commander," she replied before she settled her head back against his chest. He brought his hand back up into her hair and stroked it, letting the practiced motion soothe them both into sleep.

**#-#-#**

Kaidan woke hours later to the incredible sensation of her warm wet mouth surrounding his sensitive flesh. He blinked sleepy eyes open and looked down the line of his body to see Shepard crouched between his legs with her mouth stretched over him. Her white skin was nearly glowing in the dim light of the skylight, and her green eyes were slitted like the cat she resembled right now. She was very clearly enjoying herself and he sighed and laid back to give himself over to the pleasure while his mind struggled out of the fog of sleep. He knew the more that he woke up, the less of him she'd be able to hold in her mouth, as his body would undergo an awakening of its own. In the meantime, being encased in the warm cavern of her mouth and feeling her hum around him was a sensation too good to miss.

She moaned and moved her tongue over him, stroking him base to tip and swirling it around the head. The feeling was too good, too intense and he moaned himself in response. She hummed her pleasure at his reaction and made him gasp. Now that she knew he was awake, she stepped up her efforts, giving him long sucking pulls of her mouth, and she quickly brought him to full attention. She sighed as she had to surrender to his full length and girth, but she adjusted quickly and sucked him in as far as she could in a long, wet pull. He released his breath in a hiss as the heat of her mouth seared him now. He was even more sensitive to her efforts now. He reached his hands down and tunneled them through her hair, reaching for control and patience to let her play... He knew how much she enjoyed this act.

When even his control and patience were stretched to the limit, he tugged gently, then moved his hands down under her arms and gave a more forceful signal. She conceded somewhat graciously and with only a small sigh. He helped her climb his body slowly, and didn't begrudge her the slow traverse of her tongue over his bare chest along the way. When she was lying prone on top of him, he threaded gentle hands through her hair and brought her down for a kiss. Their mouths met and opened, and their tongues danced in sensual rhythm. He felt her hips jerk against him, pinning his hard flesh between their bodies. He trailed one of his hands down her body, tracing lightly over her back, until he reached her tight ass. He cupped it and used the pressure of his palm on her flesh to press her hard against him while he lifted his hips from below to increase the pressure. They both moaned into their kiss with the dual pleasure.

He moved his hand lower, using it to gently part her thighs, then journeyed back up the inside. When he reached the apex of her thighs, he gently spread her folds and tested her readiness. When his fingers found her slick and wet for him, he couldn't resist the quick tease. He slid one finger into her hot channel and stroked her just long enough to draw another gasp from her. He lifted his hips again and used his hand on his own flesh to position himself at her entrance. She sat back on his hips and lowered herself down, engulfing his flesh for the second time, this time in a wet embrace that was equally searing and tight, and infinitely rewarding to them both.

He moved both hands to her breasts now and used them both to arouse and enhance pleasure and to give her leverage. She began to ride, sliding her hips up and down slowly around him, while he was content to remain passive at first, to let her set the pace. He watched her move on him, thinking that there wasn't a sight more beautiful – more breathtaking – in all of the galaxy than this woman in this moment. She arched her back into his hands and laid her palms flat on his thighs behind her, and gave him a different angle that stole his breath anew. She kept her pace languorous, despite their teasing about quickies, and used just the motion of her powerful thighs and arms to move on him in steady controlled thrusts. The pressure was building again, the tension of her body wasn't just from her position and muscle control, and he rolled her nipples under his fingers to add to it.

When she began to shake a bit, not from exertion, but from the rigid control she was trying to maintain, trying to ensure that this race to pleasure was yet again a marathon not a sprint, he began to help, lifting his hips underneath her to rear up into her thrusts. He wanted, more than anything in that moment, to see her swept away in the pleasure of their joining and so he moved one of his hands from her breast and settled it between her thighs. He stroked the hard peak just above where they were joined and felt her shudder in response, felt her control slip. He tweaked her nipple under one hand and pressed in on the other until she groaned and fell over, sliding with abandon into the orgasm. He felt her tight inner muscles clasp around his flesh buried inside her, fisting him, drawing him inexorably close too. He tried to stave off the finish, tried to concentrate only on the moans and gasps she gave in her fulfillment, but the sensations were too strong. He couldn't hold off from the dual stimulus of sight and touch, so he jerked his hips up into hers and threw himself over and surrendered. He continued to push himself up into her as he gathered her close against his chest and emptied himself inside her in hot wave after wave.

She collapsed bonelessly on top of him, and they drifted in the afterglow of their shared pleasure, enhancing it with long strokes of their hands against sweat-soaked skin, light kisses, and quiet murmurs of the meaningless variety. They finally met again in a long slow kiss of communication. Love, companionship, gratitude, they expressed them all in that silent meeting of their mouths, then she settled back against his chest. She traced light circles on his skin with her fingertips and he knew her well enough to know it was a touch not meant to arouse, but rather distract herself while she thought.

"Hey, what's up?" he murmured quietly with concern.

"You really scared me, Kaidan..." Shepard told him, and her voice was small – so rare for her.

He knew her well enough to know what she meant without question. "I know, Shepard," he replied, stroking a hand through her hair in their familiar gesture of comfort. "I'm sorry."

"Never apologize – not to me," she replied and he felt her grin against his chest as she echoed his earlier words to her. "It just made me remember what's important." She tilted her head up and met his eyes. "I would fight this war, lead these people, without you – or Caleb – because it's the right thing to do. But because I love you, and our son, as much as I do, I face the Reapers with a song in my heart. I fight because of the two of you, and that makes me stronger. I won't let anything – not the Reapers, not Cerberus, not batarians," she paused and winced with that one and he filed it away for future discussion, "and definitely not our sometimes stupid petty fights," now she grinned to take away the sting and he shared it, "keep us from the happily ever after we've earned."

When she looked at him like that with the honesty of faith and love shining in her gaze, he sometimes thought he truly didn't deserve her. In the next thought, he reminded himself that he would spend the rest of his days trying to be the man she saw him as. In the face of that overwhelming truth, he could only give her one response, the one he felt to the depths of his soul.

"Shepard, I love you more every day, every second. You are my love, my life, my hero. I would follow you to hell and back and then smile and ask 'where to' once we got there," he paused and kissed her again – a tribute to the person that he held in such wonder. "We'll get through this, and we'll do it together. But we damn well deserve that happily ever after," he added with a full grin.

"That we do, Commander," she answered with a matching grin. She kissed him again, quickly, then laid back down on his chest. "I love you, Kaidan," she told him once more as she settled back in for sleep.

"I love you, too, Shepard," he replied and wrapped his arms around her.

War may rage around them outside, but here, in their bed, in each others arms, there was nothing but peace.


	9. How You Remind Me

_A/N - as requested, here's some psychotic biotic :-) oh, and Kaidan is stealing Shepard's 'dance' with Vega... anyone mind? no? XD_

_Thanks for your reviews, Angsty Shenko, Gabe97, Meggo929, Lyv, and AirForceBrat. Apparently many of you approved of Shepard being there for Kaidan's induction... just a tiny little fix that needed to be made, don't you think? After all, he was there for mine (cause he's always in my squad in ME1)... Lyv: There won't be a separate outtakes fic for TTK, everything smut is going right in here :-) That being said, I promise to give you plenty XD _

_Thanks to everyone else reading, following, favoriting! Your time means a lot to me :-)_

_Bioware deserves all credit and my eternal thanks for everything ME. StoneburntHeart deserves all credit and my eternal thanks for being awesome! oops ETA, I also owe her for figuring out how to make this chapter work right... you'll see XD  
_

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Kaidan eyed the muscle-bound marine during pull-ups on the bar near his workstation warily before he approached to get his attention. Personally, he felt that he had said all he'd needed to say to the man before Mars. It had been a simple matter of an officer putting a subordinate back in their place when they stepped out of line. He certainly didn't hold any grudges – especially not after the harsh reminder he'd been given of what was truly important and what was only a pissing contest. But Shepard wanted him to make nice with Vega so that when they took him on the squad for the Grissom Academy mission later today, she wouldn't be swimming in testosterone. Her words, not his. So once they had showered, dressed, and eaten Shepard had headed to the cockpit to check in with Joker and EDI and sent Kaidan to the shuttle bay with the directive 'fix it'. But now he just wasn't sure how to begin. Vega noticed him standing there and gave him his opening.

"You down here for a reason?" Vega asked Kaidan as he continued his exercise.

"Just came down to talk," Kaidan replied neutrally.

"Great," Vega responded, equally careful. "Not sure what there is to talk about though. I'm sure Shepard went over my record with you."

"Actually, she didn't have much on your background," Kaidan reminded him.

"Right," Vega said with a grunt, "Forgot about that. Guess she wouldn't have had access to personnel records when we met." Vega jumped down from his bar and cracked his neck. "Well, think you can dance and talk at the same time?" he asked pointing to the open space in the middle of the bay.

Kaidan raised a brow and smiled mentally. Clearly, Shepard was right – as usual – the boy thought he still had something to prove... and that Kaidan would make an easy target. If that's how he wanted it, Kaidan wasn't about to deny him. After all, he was here on Shepard's orders...

"I think I can handle it," Kaidan replied casually, walked to the center of the bay, and took up fighting stance with loosely raised fists.

"Ok, Loco," Vega said with a tight smile as he joined him and raised his beefy fists. "Let's dance."

They circled each other for a half turn, in the traditional dance of fighters sizing up their opponent. "Don't push your luck, Vega," Kaidan said with an arched brow as they moved. "With age comes wisdom – and rank." He moved quickly then, taking the first shot – a strong right jab to the side of Vega's face which the other man partially blocked with a raised forearm.

They backed up and circled again. "Hah," Vega taunted, "You sound like my old CO," and he threw a right cross. Kaidan threw his head back and narrowly avoided the blow.

"Oh yeah?" Kaidan replied as he pressed forward with a series of body blows, "And who was that?"

"Captain Toni," Vega replied as they danced another half circle, looking for an opening. "He was a hard ass son of a bitch but a good leader."

Kaidan saw an opening and took advantage of the distraction to land a punch solidly on Vega's chin. The other man's head snapped back with the blow. When he straightened, he wiped blood from his mouth. He shook his head and grunted. "Nice," he said.

Vega advanced on Kaidan, throwing several jabs to the midsection which Kaidan deflected easily. "What do you mean, was?" he asked.

"Died," Vega replied shortly. He lowered his head and circled. "With most of my squad. Protecting a civilian colony from a Collector attack." He stabbed his fist out and landing a glancing blow to Kaidan's chin.

"And the colony?" Kaidan asked as he regained his balance and circled.

"It was either them," Vega bit out and threw another punch – easily blocked, "Or the intel we had on the Collectors." He threw a flurry of punches to emphasize each word, but as his anger grew, his accuracy fell. "Intel we could have used to destroy 'em. I chose the intel."

Kaidan took a hard blow to the chest then sprang back out of range on the balls of his feet. "Sorry," he said tightly to Vega, "That's a tough call."

They circled again, twice, but this time the circle was tight and fast. "The best part was, we didn't even really need the intel in the end," Vega growled angrily, "Cause you and Shepard were out saving the galaxy by taking down the entire Collector homeworld." He threw a series of blows to the face which Kaidan had to duck behind raised forearms to block.

"You didn't know," he reminded Vega. "You can't blame yourself." He stepped back warily and watched for an opening.

"Who says I'm blaming myself?" Vega asked defensively, lowering his guard. Kaidan stepped forward and swept his ankle to throw him off balance then hit him with a jab to the cheek.

"I do," Kaidan told him as he stepped back and watched the other man shake his head to clear the effects of the blow.

"You a shrink, too?" Vega asked defiantly.

"No," Kaidan replied as he pressed forward again with quick jabs, "But I can see you're angry, and that stunt back on Mars was reckless. You're lucky to be alive."

"So?" Vega retorted, throwing jabs of his own now.

"So, maybe you don't care if you live or die," Kaidan gritted between punches.

"Or maybe..." Vega grunted as he threw another good punch. "I'm just willing to do whatever the _fuck_ it takes to end this goddamn war!"

Kaidan used his distraction to sweep in and throw him over his shoulder. When he stood over him, fists still raised, he said, "Maybe you are. But if you're half as good as I think you are, we need you alive."

Vega stood, beaten but not broken. He wandered back to his station before he turned back to Kaidan and called, "Thanks for the pep talk, Loco."

"Loco huh?" Kaidan replied with a grin and a shake of his head.

"I can think of worse things to call you," Vega replied with a grin of his own.

"Long as you remember who's in charge, you can call me whatever you want," Kaidan replied in dismissal as he turned away. He only nodded when he saw Shepard behind him, watching him with a huge grin. He walked past her and Cortez and headed to the elevator.

"I'm not sure which one of us enjoyed that show more, Cortez," Shepard mumbled to her companion.

She saw him blush even as he grinned at her. "I'm not sure which one you were watching more closely, ma'am," he bantered back.

"Ah, but that's the best part, Steve," she sallied back with a good-natured jab to his chin, which she pulled at the last second. "A girl doesn't have to choose down here."

He was still laughing as she headed to the weapons locker for final checks. She hated to ruin Kaidan's grand exit, so she'd give him ten minutes before she called him back down to gear up, too.

**#-#-#**

Once armored and armed, Shepard headed to the cockpit to watch the Normandy approach the station that housed Grissom Academy. As they drew in range, they spotted another ship hovering in orbit.

"And there's the folks that answered the distress call," Joker announced grimly. "Cerberus cruiser – with at least a dozen fighters on blockade duty. Too many for us in a straight-up fight," he reported. "They must want this place bad."

"Receiving incoming transmission," EDI added from the copilot's chair.

"Let's hear it," Shepard ordered.

"_SSV Normandy, this is Kahlee Sanders, director of Grissom Academy. We need immediate assistance. Cerberus is attacking the facility. They're after my students,"_ a woman's voice reported over the com.

"This is Commander Shepard, we're blocked on a direct approach," she told the other woman.

"_I know, they've taken control of our docking bays,"_ Sanders responded.

"Any alternatives?" Shepard questioned.

"_There's an auxiliary cargo port I can probably open,"_ Sanders offered.

"Alright," Shepard replied. "We'll come in by shuttle and get your students out of there." She closed the com and turned to her pilot. "Joker, can you get me a diversion?" she asked.

"Oh boy can I!" he cried enthusiastically to her retreating back.

She smiled to herself as she headed to the shuttle. Better not to encourage him.

**#-#-#**

Once Joker drew off the fighters with some very fancy maneuvers, Cortez piloted the shuttle to the docking bay Sanders had opened and they entered Grissom Academy.

"_Commander, I'm locked in the server room around the corner," _Sanders reported over coms. _"Cerberus troops are trying to get in."_

Shepard led the squad through the first door and right into said Cerberus troops. Fortunately, the enemies had their backs turned and were not expecting them. She charged the group and quickly dispatched the first two while Kaidan and James handled the rest. She searched the hallway and found a partially open door in the middle. She pried it open and stepped through.

Shepard heard the click of a rifle safety being removed and quickly raised her hands in the traditional gesture of surrender.

"Sanders, it's me," she called, "it's safe to come out."

A slight woman in Alliance dress blues bearing the insignia of Lieutenant stood and lowered her rifle. Shepard judged her to be in her mid- to late-forties, though she carried the age well, and she had blonde hair and light blue eyes. She was an average looking woman, but her unusual coloring made her remarkable. She carried the rifle with some ease. Shepard noted that her current role might be administrative but she had the bearing of someone familiar with combat. Sanders gave them a tight relieved smile.

"Commander, thank you," she said in greeting as she approached the squad. "Admiral Anderson always said you were the best. And with Cerberus coming for my students, I need the best."

"How many of you are there?" Shepard asked.

"Fewer than twenty... Most of us were set home when word of the Reaper invasion spread," Sanders explained. "But a few volunteered to stay. Some are prototyping tech for the Alliance. Others are biotics," she added with a smile that seemed to indicate those students were of special concern to her. "They've been training for military operations, working together as biotic artillery."

"You mentioned Admiral Anderson?" Shepard asked. She didn't want to pry, but the way this woman had said Anderson's name reminded her of a conversation they had long ago, where he shared that he had once fallen for a fellow officer. She had often wondered who the woman had been – Anderson hadn't shared that information, and she guessed that she may be looking into her ice blue eyes now.

"Yes, we met... Ah, what's it been... twenty years ago when he was a Spectre candidate," Sanders answered. "I was there when Saren betrayed him. David saved my life that day," she added with a soft look that did more to confirm Shepard's suspicions than Sanders' words had. "He's a good man."

"He was on Earth when the Reapers hit; he stayed behind when I got off world," Shepard shared, then rushed to soften the blow. "He was alive and fighting - leading the resistance movement - there last I heard."

"Good..." Sanders replied with a smile then her thoughts seemed to turn inward and her face sobered, "If we get out of here... well, just tell him to stay alive."

"I will," Shepard said with a smile, though her eyes turned to find Kaidan. She understood exactly how Sanders felt and was infinitely grateful that she and Kaidan were here together.

A frantic beep sounded from the console nearby. Sanders rushed to it and explained, "Hang on, I've been trying to get communications working," as her hands flew over the controls. She pressed a button and another voice flooded the server room.

"_This is Froberg. There are students trapped in Orion Hall. Cerberus has us boxed in. They're closing fast."_

"Orion Hall?" Shepard asked pointedly as the squad checked their weapons.

"Back out the door and down the hallway," Sanders directed. "I can get the door open."

"I'll bring them back here and we'll make a run for the shuttle," Shepard told her on the way out.

"Thank you, Commander, I'll stay put," Sanders called to her retreating back. "With luck, I can regain control of some of our systems."

Just outside the door, Kaidan halted her with a hand on her arm. "Shepard, these students aren't ready for combat, no matter how much time they've spent with practice dummies," he warned her grimly. "I spent six months training my students, and most of them already had combat experience."

"Yeah, we need to keep them out of the line of fire," she agreed. "But lets get to them before Cerberus does," she added with a motion of her hand to indicate direction.

He nodded and released her arm and fell back into formation.

**#-#-#**

They fought through several pockets of Cerberus resistance and rescued two of the students before they finally approached Orion Hall. Shepard motioned James and Kaidan to the other side of the double doors and cautiously opened them before she flattened herself back against the wall.

"Eat this," they heard a female voice cry inside the hall and then the familiar sound of a shockwave unleashed immediately after.

Shepard stepped out of cover and around the door to confirm visually what her ears had warned her. "Jack?" she called in surprise when she saw the familiar figure standing in the middle of the room. She glanced over and saw Kaidan grin and shrug at her. Apparently he wasn't as surprised as she.

"Shepard?" Jack called back, equally surprised before a new arrival distracted her when it entered from the far doorway. Jack slid across the floor and poised to attack the Atlas mech with another showy display of biotics. Shepard motioned the squad into cover and they raised their rifles to attack. Jack saw the movement, and retreated, ushering the students to safety.

"Keep that thing off us, Shepard," she growled as she headed up to the overlook.

Shepard nodded and moved the squad forward to attack. As usual, the Atlas mech provided a challenge to their biotics but having James on the squad tipped the scales easily. He threw two grenades and weakened the mech's armor enough that they finished it off easily with assault rifles. When it exploded in an impressive flourish of shrapnel, Shepard assessed her squad and saw that everyone was alive and well. They moved out of cover and motioned to Jack. She met them at the bottom of the stairs.

"Kahlee said she was putting out an S.O.S.," Jack greeted with a small laugh. She was still covered in tattoos and Shepard thought she detected a new one or two, although she really hadn't made a study of the other woman's body. She had grown her hair out into a mohawk ponytail and was clothed in more than leather straps on her upper body. Overall, it was an improvement – even if her shirt appeared to be fashioned from white gauze and Jack was clearly not wearing a bra. "I had no idea the king of the Boyscouts and his crazy bitch girlfriend would show up."

"King of the Boyscouts now, eh?" Shepard said with a laugh to Kaidan. "Apparently Jack promoted you, too."

"What can I say?" Kaidan replied with a modest shrug. "I'm a popular guy."

"That you are, Commander," Shepard confirmed with a flirtatious smile.

"If you two are done flirting," Jack said in mock irritation with a grin that totally ruined the effect, "We have children to rescue."

"Yeah, and how is it that you're here teaching them?" Shepard asked with a raised brow.

"If you hadn't been so busy playing martyr for six months," Jack said with a jab to Shepard's shoulder and a real scowl on her face, "Maybe you'd know these things. Boyscout talked me into to it."

"You knew she was here?" Shepard turned to Kaidan and asked accusingly.

"I knew she was teaching here, I didn't know she'd ignore the warnings to evacuate. And she's right - we really haven't had time to catch up," he reminded her but there was no censure to the words, only truth.

"Ok, fair enough," Shepard relented with a sigh. "I can't imagine anyone who could be better equipped for the job, Jack."

"Yeah well Alliance brass jumped at the opportunity once Boyscout gave me a glowing recommendation," Jack explained. "And apparently, the students responded well to my teaching style," she added in a voice raised enough to carry to the students above them.

"Yeah, the psychotic biotic," one young man called down.

"I will destroy you!" a girl added, mimicking Jack's battle cry perfectly.

"Drink your juice, Rodriguez," Jack called back, "You couldn't destroy wet tissue paper."

"_Cortez to extraction team,"_ the pilot broke in over the com, _"The Cerberus cruiser is coming back."_

"How long have we got?" Shepard asked.

"_Two minutes tops, Commander,"_ Cortez replied. _"After that, there's no way we'll get past them."_

Shepard glanced up at the students above them. They were still munching on energy bars and drinking juice, and clearly not rested enough to be taxed again.

"Get out of here and back to the Normandy," she ordered Cortez, "We'll find another way off the station."

"_Roger that, good luck, ma'am,"_ was Cortez's response.

"Shepard to Sanders," she called. "The students are safe, but the shuttle's a no-go."

"_Understood,"_ Sanders replied. _"I might know another way off the station, but I need station-wide camera access. Can you disable the Cerberus security override? It's routed through Orion Hall, so it should be nearby."_

Shepard nodded to Kaidan to begin the search. He was best equipped to comply with Sander's request. In the meantime, she questioned the woman, "How does camera access get us off the station?"

"_We need to reach the Cerberus shuttles," _Sanders explained. _"The cruiser won't auto-target friendly ships – which gives us a fighting chance to escape. Get me back the cameras and I'll find a path to the shuttles and keep Cerberus from boxing you in."_

"Found it, Commander," Kaidan called from the far corner of the room. Shepard turned and saw he was standing over a laptop Cerberus had stashed there.

"Good work, Commander," she called back to him and he leaned over to start the hack.

"Do you two call each other that..." James broke off with a strangled cough as she glared at him. "Just sayin', Lola," he rushed to add with an easy grin, "it gets a little confusing."

"Don't worry, James," she replied deadpan, "I have no trouble remembering who's in bed with me."

She noted his blush and grinned. Kaidan gave her a thumbs up and she notified Sanders that she was in.

"_The fastest way is through the atrium, but Cerberus has sealed the doors,"_ Sanders reported after a moment, _"You'll need to disable the magnetic locks. The override should be above the door."_

Shepard saw Kaidan nod and head back up to the overlook. She wandered over to where Jack had stationed herself, leaning against a railing just before the atrium exit.

"So biotic artillery unit, huh?" Shepard said to Jack. "Good idea... but are they ready?"

"What do you think?" Jack scoffed. "They're good kids, lots of talent, but they're still a bunch of teenagers. Before the Reapers attacked, their biggest concern was getting laid."

"Not that you're about to tell them that," Shepard replied.

"Hell, no, they need to think I believe in them... I did learn a thing or two from all those speeches of yours," Jack confirmed. "But honestly, they'd be better off in support – strengthening barriers, modding ammo, shit like that."

"They have one thing going for them," Shepard pointed out. "Badass biotic teacher. It looks good on you, Jack." She noted that Jack nearly blushed under the compliment but turned it into a glare instead.

"Yeah, well if anyone messes with them, I'll tear them apart," Jack growled. "They may be a bunch of misfits, but they're my misfits."

"I know the feeling," Shepard replied with a grin.

Kaidan interrupted any reply Jack would have given as he approached and let them know that the Atrium access was open. Shepard led the squad to the doors and turned back before prying them open.

"Everyone be ready," she called. "We'll go first and draw their fire."

"We'll shadow you from the second level and hit those fu-," Jack narrowly cut off the curse and substituted 'those guys', "from above."

"They should be safe up there," Kaidan replied approvingly. "Out of direct fire anyway."

"Just time your shots and stay safe," Shepard called back.

"Alright," Jack instructed her students, "I didn't bust my ass training you so you could die now. Keep low, pick your targets." As she spoke the last word, all of the students omni-tools began to glow and a voice spoke from all of their wrists.

"_Students of Grissom Academy, the station is sealed. The Alliance soldiers cannot save you. All they can do is get you killed. Surrender peacefully and you won't be harmed." _

Though Jack scoffed, "Asshole," dismissively, Shepard saw many of the students look at each other in alarm and rising panic.

"_Damn it, they're messaging everyone,"_ Sanders reported over the com, having heard the announcement herself. _"Students, switch your omni-tools to privacy mode so they can't track you,"_ she ordered.

"What if... what if they're not lying?" the female student – Rodriguez – asked even as the students accessed their tools to comply with Sanders' instructions.

"You've already held your own against Cerberus," Shepard told them. "You've been trained for this by one of the best."

"Come on, Rodriguez," Jack added. "They're only asking nicely cause you scared them in that last fight. So take your balls out of your purse and kick some ass."

"Yes, ma'am," Rodriguez replied with a relieved smile.

"Let's go," Shepard called to her squad.

"Who is that?" James asked with obvious interest as they walked through the doors.

"Someone who would 'dance' circles around you, Vega," Kaidan warned with a grin.

**#-#-#**

The path through the atrium was filled with heavy Cerberus resistance, and Shepard was glad of the students' support from above. They were swarmed with enemies in every direction and it took all of their considerable skill to make their way safely through it. The squad and the students made it through unharmed – despite a close call with Rodriguez; for which she was duly chastised by her teacher for dropping her barrier. As they exited the atrium, they received a report from Sanders.

"_Commander, I've reached the Cerberus shuttles without being detected,"_ she reported. _"They know what we're doing though – you need to hurry."_

Shepard moved the squad forward into the next hallway and quickly ducked behind cover as she saw Cerberus troops taunting a group of students crouching behind an energy field.

"That's an impressive barrier, Octavia," the Cerberus trooper said. He began to speak again but Shepard cut him off with an impressive charge. A nova took care of his nearby companion and she turned to the group of students. Shock rippled through her as her eyes met a familiar gaze and memory swept over her.

_Shepard had reluctantly directed the Normandy to the planet Aite in the Typhon system at the request of the Illusive Man. Apparently a Cerberus base there had gone dark and was causing him concern. Shepard frankly hadn't seen the concern in that – the less Cerberus bases the better, to her mind – but she needed the Illusive Man to provide her the information on the IFF and the key to reaching the Collector homeworld, so she decided to play nice. _

_After learning that a rogue VI wasn't the real culprit as she had been told, or at least, that 'rogue VI' wasn't the full story, Shepard and her squad listened in horror as the true depths of Dr. Gavin Archer's depravity were revealed. He had hooked his autistic-savant brother up to a VI in a vain attempt to establish control of the geth by exploiting the same religious tendency that Saren had once used. Of course, he had defended his action, saying that the brother had 'volunteered', but they hadn't believed it. The VI had quickly overwhelmed David Archer and the resulting hybrid essentially became a virus, attempting to spread its poison throughout the galaxy._

_They had fought through the base and its hordes of geth defenders and to the main laboratory. Once there, Shepard was separated from Kaidan and Garrus and thrown into a virtual construct developed by the VI to delay or kill her. She navigated the maze to finally confront the VI itself. She ended up in a serious struggle, having to block the VI's attempts to upload its virus to the nearby Normandy while defending herself from its direct attacks. She finally succeeded in destroying the VI's core and the virtual world faded and revealed the tortured man within._

_Kaidan and Garrus joined her as she approached the naked man suspended in a freakish harness of tubes and wires, his brown eyes cruelly pried wide open by multiple probes. She found she had to fight off wave after wave of nausea even as she tried to convince his brother of the barbaric truth of his actions. Finally, she had given up on Gavin Archer and instead directed her team to carefully extricate David. In the most humane act she could think of at the time, she had followed Kaidan's advice and dropped the rescued man at the nearest Alliance outpost with instructions that he should be taken to Grissom Academy. _

That brown gaze had haunted her dreams for many nights to come and it stared back at her calmly now. He looked so much healthier, she noted with satisfaction, and she heard the other student – Octavia speaking suspiciously at their intervention, but all her attention was on David.

"The square root of 906.01 equals..." David said slowly.

"30.1," Shepard completed the equation easily from her memory of his recitation in the construct.

"Hello, Commander Shepard," David greeted her.

"David, you know her?" another student in the barrier asked in amazement.

"Yes, she rescued me from Cerberus," David replied. "Sent me here. She made it quiet."

Octavia took David at his word and dropped their barrier. Kaidan placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder, knowing the effect seeing David was having on her. As she continued to have eyes only for David, Kaidan spoke to the other students.

"You did a great job keeping yourselves safe," he praised. "The biotic students are up there," he added, pointing to the overlook. "Stay close, they'll get you out of here."

"Ok, uh, thanks," Octavia replied as they walked away.

"Has Grissom Academy been alright?" Shepard asked David before he departed.

"Yes," David replied with a small nod. "I've been counting."

"Anything in particular?" Shepard asked with a smile. Of course he'd been counting.

"The number of days you lengthened my life," he answered with his brown gaze lucid and held on hers. "The security office. I hacked the lock. Guns, lots of guns. Goodbye," David told her and wandered off.

"You did good, there," Kaidan reminded her quietly once he was gone.

"Yeah, that was one in our column, not Cerberus'," she affirmed with conviction. They searched the bounty David had provided them and then moved forward to the shuttle bay.

**#-#-#**

They held off another Cerberus attack long enough for the students to evacuate in the shuttles. Once they were clear, Shepard ushered her squad into the shuttle bay and met up with Jack and Sanders. Just before they boarded, Jack craned her neck to look around and counted heads.

"Wait, where the hell's Rodriguez?" she barked as her count came up one short.

They turned back and looked to see Rodriguez straggling behind them with a fresh wave of Cerberus troops hot on her tail.

"She needs covering fire," James cried as he smashed the butt of his rifle into the glass barrier that stood between them and Rodriguez – and the Cerberus forces.

"She needs more than that," Jack growled as she flared her biotics. She glanced to Shepard and Kaidan and nodded in satisfaction to see that they were equally prepared. She nodded and the three of them released a simultaneous wave of mass effect energy, smashing the glass and knocking the Cerberus troops back. Kaidan threw a pull and yanked Rodriguez to safety and they ran for the shuttles.

Once aboard, Shepard opened a channel to the Normandy.

"Joker, we flew out on a Cerberus shuttle," she informed him. "Watch your fire."

"_Alright I've got you on sensors, should just be a minute,"_ was his reply.

"Thank you, Commander," Sanders said with relief. "We never would have gotten off that station if you hadn't come."

"Fu- Forget that," Jack said, correcting herself just in time again. "We kicked some ass. Next place we dock, you're all getting inked. My treat," she added, speaking to her students. "What do you guys want? Ascension Project logo? Glowing fist? Maybe a unicorn for Rodriguez?"

"Screw you, ma'am," Rodriguez responded with a laugh.

"I can't believe we got them out alive," Sanders said. "I was going to suggest they stick to support roles, but perhaps they're ready after all."

"They're definitely ready," Shepard confirmed, sharing a glance first with Kaidan then with Jack, "but the Alliance needs them in a support role."

"What? We trained for artillery strikes," one of the students protested.

"We don't need another artillery unit," Shepard told him firmly. "We need stronger barriers for our front line squads."

"This is bullshit!" Rodriguez cried.

"Hey, if that's where they need us, that's where we go," Jack stepped in to confirm. "Besides," she consoled, "I'm sure we'll get some shots in."

"_Commander, we've got a visual on you now," _Joker reported. _"Preparing to dock." _He paused and then added, _"Hey, Jack, now that you're military, you gonna wear a uniform or are you just getting the officer's bars tattooed on?"_

"Screw you, fu- Flight Lieutenant," Jack retorted – another near miss.

"_Uh, what the hell was that?"_ Joker replied with a laugh.

"Jack promised to watch her language in order to maintain the necessary professionalism we need from our teachers," Sanders answered with a smile.

"_What does she have a swear jar or something?"_ Joker asked._ "Cause I bet if we empty that thing, we could afford another cruiser."_

"Cover your ears kids," Jack instructed laconically. "Hey, Joker, fuck you," she replied once she was safe.

Everyone on the shuttle shook their heads and grinned.

"_That's another 50 credits in the kitty,"_ Joker shot back.

**#-#-#**

Once aboard the Normandy, EDI informed Shepard that Admiral Hackett was waiting to speak with her via QEC, and that he requested Kaidan's presence as well. Shepard changed direction, shrugged to Kaidan, and they walked to the com room together.

"Commander, you can debrief me later," Hackett greeted them. "For now, there's someone that would like to speak with you... Patching you through now, Hackett out."

Hackett's holo winked out and he was replaced by another admiral a moment later. Kaidan and Shepard held their breath as Anderson's image formed before them.

"Shepard, Kaidan... Damned if you aren't a sight for sore eyes," Anderson greeted them.

"Anderson," Shepard greeted him simply, too afraid to ask the question on the tip of her tongue. Kaidan gripped her hand at her side.

"He's safe," Anderson reported, knowing exactly what they wanted to hear. "I sent a squad to the orchard, they're with them now. And from what I understand, your father has combat experience as well, Kaidan?"

"Yes, Sir," Kaidan replied, shaking with relief and not at all surprised to note that Shepard was equally affected. "He's retired Alliance."

"Good," Anderson said with a nod. "They'll remain at the orchard, and my men will watch over them. The Reapers are concentrating on metropolitan centers for now, so I think its safest. I'll keep you updated as much as I can."

"Thank you, Anderson," Shepard replied in quiet relief. She was exerting every ounce of control to keep her tangled emotions in check for now. "And you?" she questioned with concern.

"Doing the best I can to keep my head down and keep the resistance going at the same time," Anderson replied grimly. "It's not pretty."

"There's someone else on board you may want to speak with," Shepard told him with a smile.

"Oh?" Anderson asked.

"We just rescued Kahlee Sanders from Grissom Academy. She and her students are safely on board the Normandy until we can drop them at the Citadel," Kaidan filled in.

"Thanks... When I heard about the attack," Anderson said, obviously affected, "Well, I've already lost enough friends."

"We'll send her in ASAP," Shepard told him. "I'm sure she'd like to speak with you, too."

"And thanks again, Anderson," Kaidan added as they prepared to go.

Once outside the com room, Shepard paused to ask EDI to send Sanders up, then turned to Kaidan. Finally, she let her mask fall and all the relief and worry showed on her face.

"He's alive, he's safe," she breathed to Kaidan.

He drew her close into his embrace and held her until they stopped shaking. Neither thought once about the setting, they were too wrapped in the dual edge of joy and sorrow to notice.


	10. My Sacrifice

_A/N - Thanks for not yelling at me for my TTT retcon... I know I didn't write Overlord (and I mentioned it at the time) but I wanted David Archer in TTK, cause I think it's an important moment for Shepard... So special thanks to StoneburntHeart for the flashback idea :-) it's possible that I'll use that device again at some point XD  
_

_Thanks for your reviews, Gabe97, AirForceBrat, and Meggo929! I appreciate the feedback :-) Gabe97 - there will still be a coup attempt, you'll see soon ;-) Everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thanks so much for spending your time on my story!_

_As always, all credit for everything ME goes to Bioware... And my thanks, love, and hugs to my awesome beta, StoneburntHeart, for all her efforts!_

* * *

By the next morning, Shepard and Kaidan had managed to shove aside the sorrow of not being with their son in favor of the joy of knowing that Caleb was alive and well and safe – for now. They walked hand in hand into the mess hall to have breakfast together, and they were laughing and smiling along the way. If they got a few raised eyebrows from the Alliance crew not accustomed to seeing their superior officers so publicly displaying their affection, they simply ignored them. As Shepard so aptly put it to Kaidan when he questioned her, the chances that the Alliance would court-martial them for fraternization in the middle of a war against the Reapers were slim to none.

"So what's on your agenda today?" Kaidan asked as he seated himself across from her and blew on his coffee to cool it.

"Hmm, gonna check in with Mordin and Eve," Shepard replied before taking a sip of her own coffee. "We should arrive at Tuchanka around 1400, so I thought I'd check in with Garrus before then, too."

"Tapping him for the squad?" Kaidan guessed.

"Yeah, seems appropriate – lost turian platoon and all," Shepard confirmed. "Besides, I wanted to let him know about his nephew," she added with a soft smile.

"I finished my Spectre expense reports," Kaidan put in. "And why exactly do we have to do those in the middle of a war?" he asked rhetorically. When she dismissed the question with a 'who knows?' shrug he continued, "I could check in with Garrus while you're busy in the med-bay."

"Not a bad plan, Commander," Shepard said with a grateful smile. "I knew there was a reason I liked you..."

"Other than my stunning looks, my badass biotics, my incredible tech skills, and..." Kaidan bragged with a raised eyebrow until he stopped abruptly in surprise and wiped at the splotch of scrambled egg she had flung via fork across the table and onto his cheek. "Hey, you didn't let me finish," he pretended to grumble.

"If I hadn't stopped you, your head wouldn't fit through the airlock anymore," she explained with a grin.

He stood and deposited his finished tray in the mess sink before he walked behind her chair, still carrying his half-empty coffee. He leaned over so his mouth was level with her ear and spoke in a low voice only she would hear. "You didn't let me get to the part about what I can do with my tongue," he said and saw her shiver – a dual reaction to both his words and the feeling of his warm breath against her sensitive skin.

She turned her head enough to graze a kiss against his mouth – a shocking show for an Alliance ship, but still rather chaste as public displays went elsewhere. She pulled back with a huge smile and added, "You can remind me later," as she also stood to dispose of her tray.

They went their separate ways, smiling.

**#-#-#**

Kaidan was still smiling as he approached his turian friend, hard at work in the forward battery. He leaned against the railing near where Garrus was bent over a control panel and quietly cleared his throat to get his attention. When Garrus turned from his work, he gave the turian version of a grin and held out his hand for a shake. Kaidan took it and shook.

"Kaidan," Garrus greeted with genuine pleasure clear in his tone, "It's good to see you up and around."

"Garrus," Kaidan replied, "It's good to be back in action... Shepard needs all hands on deck, now more than ever."

"That she does," Garrus responded and some of the cheer faded.

"Actually, that's part of the reason I'm here," Kaidan put in, trying to head the conversation off before it turned to a depressing note that would ruin his good mood. Yeah, the Reapers were out there and waiting, but just for today, he wanted to concentrate on the positives. "Shepard wants you on the team when we hit Tuchanka later," he informed Garrus.

"Of course she does... Lost turian platoon - bring a turian with a big gun," Garrus picked up the cheer again easily.

"Can we trust this Victus?" Kaidan asked to satisfy his own curiosity and to quell the nagging doubt in his gut.

"I've never known Victus to lie... Play hard and fast with the facts, sure, but turn his back on an ally? That's not him," Garrus replied. "Besides if he did betray us... Well, we'd just get another primarch," Garrus added threateningly.

"Shepard said the general on Menae saluted you, Garrus," Kaidan related. "Maybe the next primarch could be you?"

"Let's not go there, old friend," Garrus said and he appeared to be blushing.

"Primarch Vakarian..." Kaidan teased then relented when he noticed how uncomfortable Garrus really was. "Just a thought... Someone needs to rebuild Palaven when this war is over."

"Yeah, someone that knows how to swing a hammer," Garrus grumbled dismissively.

"And you're much better at calibrating giant guns," Kaidan laughed.

"As great a team as we are on the ground," Garrus replied, referring to the dream team of Shepard, Kaidan, and himself, of course, "I'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns... and lots of them."

"Fair enough," Kaidan conceded. He changed the subject and continued, "Shepard and I also wanted to let you know that we got some good news – Anderson found Caleb. He's safe for now," Kaidan added with the smile he hadn't been able to suppress all day.

"Spirits, Kaidan," Garrus replied and drew him in for a friendly hug and pat on the back. "That is great news... I would have led with that, personally," he added with a touch of censure.

"I feel a little guilty for being so happy in the middle of a war," Kaidan admitted. "And, Shepard said you still have family on Palaven... I wasn't sure how you'd feel..." he trailed off, uncertain.

"Yeah, my father and sister are still there," Garrus confirmed grimly. "But knowing that my nephew is alive and safe helps me have hope that they will be, too. I have a feeling this war isn't going to have a lot of happy moments... We should celebrate them when we can."

"Good point," Kaidan replied. "And hopefully, you'll have good news of your own, soon."

"Maybe," Garrus answered, though he didn't sound convinced. Kaidan didn't begrudge him the doubt – it had been hard to remember to hope before Anderson had given them the news about Caleb. He never wanted to relive those moments of fear again, and he knew that his friend was suffering in the same uncertainty now.

"Well, I'm sure you have more calibrating you'd like to finish before we go boots down," Kaidan said with a smirk, "So I'll leave you to it."

"Heh, someone needs to make sure the old girl's in fighting shape," Garrus replied as he bent over his control panel again. "Since you and Shepard are too busy flinging food at each other to do it."

Kaidan blushed and swiped the last few remnants of Shepard's scrambled egg off his face as he turned to leave.

**#-#-#**

Shepard walked into the med-bay to check in with Mordin and Eve and nearly walked back out when she overheard their awkward conversation.

"Aware that krogan females find scars attractive. Garrus loyal, reasonably intelligent. Bit aggressive. Almost like krogan," Mordin told Eve enthusiastically. _Garrus and Eve?_ Shepard thought with a shudder. It was hard enough to imagine her best friend with anyone, but definitely not the krogan female... after Eve's tough bitch act on Sur'Kesh, she reminded Shepard too much of herself to make that pairing anything other than... icky.

"For the third time, Doctor, I'm not interested," Eve replied with a vehemence that relieved Shepard.

Mordin turned to Shepard as he finally noticed her arrival, "Ah, Shepard we were just-"

His greeting was cut off by the arrival of Wrex through the med-bay doors. "Are you ok?" he grumbled at Eve.

"I'm fine, Wrex," Eve said in a much softer tone than before. "You can relax."

"You can't be too careful," Wrex replied. "Or put any faith in salarian doctors," he added grimly.

"This one is different," Eve soothed.

"Is he?" Wrex replied, suspiciously watching Mordin approach Eve with a piece of medical apparatus. "What's that?"

"Simple blood test," Mordin explained.

"What kind?" Wrex pressed, relentless.

"Kind that ends the genophage," Mordin proclaimed, completely unintimidated by Wrex's aggression. "Shepard please," Mordin turned to her for intercession. "Distractions counterproductive. Also affecting comfort of patient."

"Wrex," Shepard said patiently, turning to the angry krogan. "He was your inside source, and he's an old friend of mine, too. You can trust him."

"Salarians have minds like a maze," Wrex grumbled. "You never know when they're leading you into a trap."

"Trap?" Mordin snapped back. "Eve's release my doing. Would never have known about her if not for me."

"That was then," Wrex replied. "But she's out now. And if she gets hurt, I'll feel it."

"Understand. But my patient. My responsibility. Her welfare a priority," Mordin continued to defend himself. "Will not allow her to be compromised by _anyone_," he pronounced then turned away.

"Heh heh," Wrex finally relented with a laugh. "You got a quad, Doctor. Keep her safe. Our females have endured enough."

"Don't forget," Mordin called to Wrex's back as he was leaving the med-bay. "Still need your tissue sample."

"I'll be back," Wrex replied in resignation before he departed.

"Common phobia... fear of needles," Mordin muttered to no one in particular.

"Or salarian doctors," Shepard teased with a grin.

"Prefer females of the species... _both_ species," Mordin sniffed.

"How is she doing?" Shepard asked, glancing at Eve who remained huddled on a nearby table.

"No fever currently. Heart rate elevated, likely stress. Eating appropriately," he reported like the doctor he was before he added, "Could use another blanket. Something soft. Prefer to let her recover fully before synthesizing cure," he added in a low voice. "My medical recommendation."

"My people don't have time for that," Eve called from the other side of the room, proving that at least her hearing was fully functional.

"Her opinion somewhat different," Mordin told Shepard with a slight conciliatory wave.

"You care about her," Shepard noted intuitively.

"My patient. My responsibility," Mordin reiterated. "Found her at STG base. Three doctors injured trying to restrain her. Undid arm restraints. Didn't resist when she grabbed me. Promised to help her. She said 'Please'," Mordin recounted with a bit of wonder.

"So we did the right thing, preserving Maelon's data?" Shepard asked.

"Maelon's data thorough. Fortunately detailed as well," Mordin confirmed. "Have used notes to improve Eve's condition. Would be much harder to treat her without it. Maybe impossible."

"Any word on Maelon himself?" Shepard inquired, remembering that she had convinced Mordin not to kill him when they found him in the lab on Tuchanka. She still wasn't sure it had been the right call – for Mordin, sure... but for the galaxy? Maybe not so much.

"No," Mordin replied and his shoulders slumped. "Ordered teams to search for him when trying to help Eve. Nothing so far. Large galaxy. Lots of places to hide. Could already be dead for all we know," his shoulders straightened with resolve before he added, "Would kill him now if possible. Unless he could help."

"You know, I was little surprised to find you behind the rescue of the krogan females," Shepard told him. "You've always defended your genophage work," and she remembered less than fondly many debates over the issue with him. "What changed your mind?"

"Never changed mind," Mordin averred with a shake of his head. "Genophage proper decision at time. New circumstances necessitate course correction."

"Circumstances like the Reaper invasion?" she filled in grimly.

"Precisely," he confirmed. "Turians doomed without krogan support. Krogan need unified threat, outlet for aggression. Cooperative symbiosis."

"Nothing else?" she pressed. "No personal stake here?"

"Getting old, Shepard," Mordin conceded with a sigh. "Not many years left. But still best candidate for project. Few salarian scientists interested in the genophage. None with my expertise. Had to be me," he concluded with no conceit, just a simple statement of fact.

"Someone else may have gotten it wrong?" Shepard guessed with a smile.

"Possibly," Mordin confirmed, "Stakes too high for inexperience. But not about them," he added. "My work. My job to put it right. To prove I can."

"Glad to have you on our side again, Mordin," Shepard replied with feeling. She had a serious soft spot for the quirky doctor, and she'd never forget his role in freeing Kaidan from Cerberus' leash.

"Thank you, Shepard," Mordin replied with a pleased nod. "Glad to be back."

"You planning to stick around when this is over?" she asked.

"Until Reapers dealt with at least," Mordin confirmed solemnly. "Then... not sure." He paused and brought his hand to his mouth in an entirely human gesture of concentration. When he continued, he spoke reflectively, "Have made impact on galaxy. Genophage modification. Genophage cure. Work against the Collectors. Decisions, mistakes... Might go somewhere sunny. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells."

"You'd go crazy inside an hour," Shepard told him drily.

"Might run tests on the seashells," Mordin replied, unwilling to let go of his dream that easily though he clearly conceded her point.

"That sounds more like you, Mordin," she replied. She left him to his work and wandered over to the storage cabinet in the corner of the med-bay and rifled for a moment with a mental note to apologize to Chakwas later before she found what she was seeking. She withdrew the item and approached the med-bay's other occupant.

"Here," she said to the krogan female, offering the heated throw she had located. "Mordin said you might need another blanket."

Eve took it with a surprised look in her eyes but didn't comment. "Thank you for saving my life, Commander," she greeted instead. "I didn't think the krogan had an allies left in the galaxy."

"We owe a lot to you," Shepard replied with deference. "Even if most people have forgotten that."

"They can be forgiven," Eve replied graciously. "Our actions have hardly inspired friendship."

"Part of being friends is knowing each others names," Shepard told her. "I feel bad that I don't know yours."

"I surrendered it the day I became a shaman of the female clan," Eve said simply. "I belong to my sisters now." She paused and then added, "But perhaps one day, when this is over, you can know it."

"I would be honored," Shepard replied and meant it. She had the utmost respect for Eve and she regretted the enormous burden she shouldered.

They chatted for several minutes about Eve's role in Maelon's experiments, the genophage, Wrex, and the krogan in general, and Shepard felt much relieved to know that the krogan people would be in good hands with Wrex's fierce determination tempered by Eve's wisdom. Finally, she turned the conversation to the topic that had piqued her curiosity earlier.

"I didn't realize the krogan had female shamans?" she stated, but it was a question.

"Wisdom comes from pain," Eve pronounced slowly. "And the genophage has made us very wise. Rather than surrender to despair, a few of us chose to preserve the ancient ways. We safeguard our culture, our knowledge, our secrets – so when our children live again, the krogan will flourish."

"How were you initiated?" Shepard asked then winced when she realized she may have overstepped. She was as eager as ever to learn of alien cultures – it was a particular interest to her – but she respected Eve too much to want to pry.

"You're locked in a cave for seven days with just enough food to last," Eve related, thankfully not taking offense to the personal question. "On the eighth, you'll starve. It is a test of your resolve. Every acolyte is given a chance: either you claw your way out through the rock with your bare hands, or you die."

"That's a brutal initiation," Shepard breathed.

"But an illuminating one," Eve added. "You learn to appreciate the light by living in the dark."

"How did you manage to make it out alive?" Shepard asked in wonder. Her respect for Eve was growing by leaps and bounds with every word.

"I started digging the wrong way," Eve replied drily. "I was in complete darkness. Nothing other than my own heartbeat to sustain me. And then I found this," Eve produced a small shiny object from the pocket of her robes and displayed it on a flat palm. "A simple crystal," she identified the object, "But it became my chisel." She handed it to Shepard, who accepted it with hesitation and a questioning look. "Take it as a reminder, Commander," Eve told her firmly. "In the darkest hour, there is always a way out."

Shepard looked down at the crystal she still held in her open hand and back to Eve. It was a simple gift that touched her more than the most expensive jewel could have. She nodded and closed her hand around it, then tucked it in her pocket. She knew she'd keep it with her through the long dark moments of the war ahead.

"Thank you," she replied to her new friend. "How's Mordin been treating you?" she asked.

"Better than krogan males do," Eve stated with contempt. "He's not like a typical salarian."

They both turned to study Mordin as he muttered in typical Mordin fashion over his work. "He does that..." Shepard said with an apologetic shrug.

"But I sense pain in him, too," Eve said softly. "He told me about his work on the genophage. I should consider him an enemy. Yet I think seeing my sisters and I changed something in him."

They turned again as the sound of Mordin's cheerful singing traveled over to them. Something about asari-vorcha offspring that didn't even faze Shepard. It was just Mordin...

"Well, it wasn't his ear," she responded in a gentle tease of her salarian friend. "Thanks for talking to me," she said to Eve.

"It's my pleasure, Commander," Eve said as she shook Shepard's hand. "I'm glad to see humans treat their women with respect. Your people have placed a lot of responsibility on you."

"No more than your people have put on you," Shepard replied as she turned to leave.

"Heh, then maybe we can show the men how it's done," Eve said with a gentle laugh.

"Deal," Shepard said with a nod and grin then exited the med-bay, very satisfied with her efforts there.

**#-#-#**

Her mood was much more grim when she joined Kaidan and Garrus on the shuttle to begin their rescue mission. Kaidan hadn't seen her since breakfast, and he immediately noticed the change.

"What's wrong?" he questioned as she settled into the seat beside them and signaled to Cortez to depart.

"I talked to Primarch Victus again, trying to get more details about this lost platoon," she replied. "Turns out, the commanding officer is Lieutenant Tarquin Victus."

Kaidan hissed in a breath in response, but it was Garrus that asked, "His son?" in clarification.

Shepard simply nodded.

"Hits a little close to home for the two of you," Garrus mumbled sympathetically.

"It doesn't change the mission," Shepard shook off the emotion and wandered to the cockpit so that she could see the ground they were approaching. "This crash site's a nightmare," she stated bitterly. "EDI, try to raise Lieutenant Victus," she called to the Normandy AI.

"_Yes, Commander,"_ EDI acknowledged the order.

"For a turian commander, what happened here is..." Garrus began then paused. "Let's just say the turian code is not forgiving," he finished grimly. "And that it's his son is bad for the Primarch. Promoting family without merit can bite you in the ass. What's strange is the Primarch knows that."

"Commander, I have to land well back from the main crash site," Cortez informed them.

"That the best you can do?" Shepard asked as she studied the ground they were circling.

"Yes, ma'am," he confirmed. "But the Reapers seem unaware of our presence. You might get the jump on them."

"Alright, set her down," Shepard ordered. "Let's save this platoon," she said to her squad.

They jumped to the ground in formation and Shepard paused to call EDI.

"EDI, did you raise Lieutenant Victus?" she asked.

"_Yes, but the connection is bad,"_ EDI replied.

"Patch me in," Shepard ordered. Once the com beeped in her ear to indicate EDI's compliance, she continued, "This is Commander Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy. Do you read?"

A burst of static precluded the reply but eventually the response came. _"This is Lieutenant Tarquin Victus of the Ninth Platoon. We're pinned by Reaper Harvesters and taking heavy casualties. Also there are pockets of my men scattered along the crash trajectory."_

"Lieutenant I need you to fire a flare so we can find your position," Shepard instructed.

They looked up as a red light shone in the sky above them and to the east. "Got it," Shepard reported.

"_Things get worse by the minute," _Victus cried. _"My men are dying!"_

"This sounds bad," Shepard said to Kaidan and Garrus. "Let's move." She led them out in the direction of the flare.

**#-#-#**

It was as bad as she predicted. They crawled through the Tuchanka wreckage and used their advantage of surprise to dispatch unsuspecting pockets of Reapers along the way. The first escape pod they came to was beyond their help, the occupants had already died either at the hands of the pod's explosion or the Reapers, but they were able to take down two harvesters and save the remaining stragglers. They found a suspicious recording of communication between two of the turian crew just before they reached the Lieutenant's position and so they were not surprised to find the turian commander in an angry standoff with his remaining troops.

"Lieutenant Victus," Shepard called as they approached and the turian turned his attention to her with relief.

"Commander Shepard," he greeted her with a nod. "My men and I are in your debt. Thank you for saving so many."

"What happened here?" Shepard asked gesturing with her head to indicate the turian wreckage.

"He screwed up," one of the turian soldiers accused, grabbing Victus by the arm viciously.

"Stand down, soldier!" Victus barked.

"These men are dead because of him," the soldier continued to protest.

"I said, stand down," Victus repeated, trying to stare the other turian into submission.

"Hey!" Shepard cried, stepping between the two men and separating them physically. She nodded to Kaidan and Garrus that they could lower their rifles, then turned back to the combatants. "I just saved all your asses, so everyone just calm down!"

The other turian soldier wandered a distance away and Shepard followed him with her eyes until she was sure the tension was relieved, for now. She turned back to Victus in irritation.

"Lieutenant, what's going on here?" she questioned.

"I made a bad call," Victus admitted. "This is all on me. I chose caution and clever tactics over a head-on attack – and my men paid the price."

"You mean the crash?" she asked for clarification.

"Yes," he confirmed. "We could see on holo that Reaper forces were blocking our intended path – staying on course guaranteed heavy casualties. So I chose a safer route, skirting the enemy, and that took us low and through these ruins. When we encountered resistance, there was no room to maneuver. Suddenly we were in a fight for our lives. A lot of my men lost that fight."

"Owning your mistake takes guts," Shepard replied, putting a world of feeling earned from personal experience behind the words. "But you have to get over it and move on."

"Of course..." Victus conceded. "It's just fresh right now. Our mission's still a failure. When we've stabilized the injured, we'll head back to the Fleet."

"You're abandoning your mission?" Shepard questioned, unable to keep the shock and disdain from her tone.

"We're down over thirty men, it would be suicide," Victus said in his defense.

"What exactly did you come here to do?" she pressed.

"There's a bomb on this planet," Victus admitted. "We were sent to defuse it."

"A bomb?" Shepard echoed in shock. "How big?"

"Enormous," Victus stated bluntly. "Cerberus has it," he added and raised Shepard's alarm – and irritation.

"Oh course they do," Shepard replied sarcastically, meeting first Kaidan's and Garrus' gaze and reading her reaction reflected in them. "Lieutenant," she continued as she turned back to Victus, "If Cerberus has the bomb, you _have_ to finish your mission."

"Haven't these men sacrificed enough?" Victus protested.

"I understand," Shepard told him and her demeanor softened. She truly did appreciate his dilemma – it was one of the most difficult moments of command – but she couldn't allow Cerberus to ruin the alliances she was trying to build. "This kind of sacrifice is the hardest to ask for," she continued softly. "But your men signed on for it, and so did you."

"My men have lost hope, Commander," Victus replied as he turned to survey the turians gathered behind him. "Even if I wanted to finish the mission, they don't."

"It's your job to make them want to," Shepard reminded him.

"How?" he asked defiantly.

"Their sacrifice means that others will never have to face what they faced here today," she told him. "Remind them that their sacrifices have no honor if the mission fails."

They stood back as Victus addressed his men and encouraged them to continue. "Smart move, appealing to their honor like that," Kaidan told her quietly as they observed.

"Yeah, turians value honor above most anything," Garrus affirmed.

"I just told him what I'd say in his shoes," Shepard replied with a shrug.

"And that's why you're leading the Alliance through this war," Kaidan told her with pride in his voice.

Shepard gave him a small smile of thanks for the praise then turned back as Victus called her.

"Commander," he said, "Come with us? We're a shell of what we were, we could use the help."

"Send me the nav-point," she replied with a nod. "We'll rendezvous with you there."

"Thank you," Victus said as he accessed his omni-tool to comply. "That will give us time to do a little recon, see what we're up against."

"Victus," Shepard said as she opened her omni-tool and nodded when the information arrived. She stepped closer to the turian and continued in a low, firm tone. "You have a second chance here. Make their sacrifice count."

"Understood Commander," Victus replied with a smart salute. "We'll see you at the rendezvous."

He headed off to their shuttle and Shepard motioned her squad out in the opposite direction.

**#-#-#**

Once back on the Normandy, Shepard updated Hackett briefly and then headed to the War Room to follow his advice. Something was up with this Cerberus bomb, and she'd bet anything that Primarch Victus knew more than he was saying.

"Primarch Victus," she called to get the turian's attention as she approached.

"Impressive work on Tuchanka," he began as he turned to her. "I'm grateful that-"

"Why didn't you tell me about the Cerberus bomb?" she interrupted him aggressively. "Why hide that? What else are you keeping from me?"

"I have nothing for you," he responded evasively.

"For our alliance to work, I need to trust you," she pressed.

"Our friendship is new, Commander," he told her, not backing down. "Would you trust me with information that puts your people – puts Earth – at risk?"

Shepard sucked in a breath as the impact of his words hit her. It was a good question, and cut her further than Victus could know. Still, as she searched her thoughts, she could find only one answer to his question. Regardless of her personal feelings, she was the soldier the Alliance trusted to lead them through this war, and a good soldier made their choices based on fact, not emotion.

"Why would I jeopardize our alliance by lying to you now?" she countered Victus. "It doesn't make sense."

"Decisions like these weigh heavy on me," Victus admitted tiredly. "When I was a general, I could pass them up the chain of command. But now, I'm all I've got. You know what I mean?"

"Sure," Shepard confirmed. "And...?"

"And..." Victus echoed and hesitated before he added, "And that's all."

Shepard shook her head and gave up. She turned to leave but Victus stopped her progress.

"Wait, there is one more thing, Commander," he told her. "Thank you for saving my son."

Shepard nodded and left. She headed back to the shuttle bay, calling for Kaidan and Garrus to meet her on the way.

**#-#-#**

Once they were seated on the shuttle for the second time that day, Garrus turned to her with a grin.

"Seems like we already did this today, Shepard," he mused. "Should I be flattered?"

"You know you're impossible to resist, Vakarian," Shepard bantered back with a laugh. "I hear even Mordin's trying to set you up with Eve," she teased him, despite her promise to herself to not consider that potential romance... ever. It was just too good an opportunity to tease Garrus to resist.

"I told you krogan females like scars," Kaidan reminded Garrus, jumping in on the joke.

"Thanks you two, but I can handle my own affairs," Garrus replied with a bit of a sniff.

"You mean, you prefer women who can't kick your ass," Kaidan commented drily.

"I'm not you, Kaidan," Garrus affirmed, with no concession to vanity. "I want to know I'll come out on top."

"I don't know, Garrus..." Shepard put in casually, "Kaidan seems to like me on top." She grinned when Kaidan bumped her shoulder with his in a futile effort to shut her up. "Well, he likes me in most any position," she conceded and then sat back with satisfaction as both the males blushed and found anything other than her to study.

When they were within range of the bomb site, Victus' image appeared on the shuttle's vid screen.

"_Normandy shuttle, this is Lieutenant Victus,"_ he called. _"Do you copy?"_

"We hear you, Lieutenant," Shepard responded.

"_We're approaching the bomb site, Commander,"_ he reported. _"Getting bounced around pretty bad."_

"This is as close as we get, Lieutenant," she called back. "Look for somewhere to set your platoon down."

"_Copy that,"_ he replied.

"Talk to me about this Cerberus bomb," Shepard instructed as she watched him comply with her order.

"_It's not Cerberus, Commander,"_ he admitted with a slow shake of his head. _"It's... turian."_

"What do you mean 'turian'?" she repeated in alarm.

"_It was planted centuries ago, after the Krogan Rebellions,"_ Victus explained. _"The bomb was a safeguard against another galactic war."_

"Brutal... But it makes a certain kind of sense," Garrus commented. "Put the krogan down hard if they tried anything."

"You won't earn trust with tactics like that," Shepard countered. "But right now, we focus on disarming that bomb."

"_Yes, but Cerberus found it,"_ Victus replied. _"Detonation means all out war between my people and the krogan."_

"Right," Shepard growled. "And with all this activity, the krogan have to know something's up," she added grimly.

"_Then we can't fail, Commander," _Victus told her as if she needed a reminder of the stakes.

"Copy that, Lieutenant," she called. She cut the com and headed to the back of the shuttle as Cortez brought them in to the landing site.

Just before she opened the doors to let them out onto to Tuchanka again, she heard Kaidan murmur, "Not 'it'," from behind her right shoulder.

She turned to him with a grin, grateful that he always knew how to relieve the tension and lighten her mood. "Don't worry, Kaidan, I only ask you to set bombs, not defuse them," she reassured as she led them out of the shuttle.

**#-#-#**

They approached the edge of the city ruins and were immediately met by heavy Cerberus resistance. Shepard pushed them forward steadily, worried that they might get pinned down or flanked if they lingered in cover too long. It was brutal fight, made even more tense by the knowledge that time was – literally – ticking away if they didn't close to the bomb's position, ASAP. They finally broke the Cerberus front lines and fought through several more pockets heading to their goal in a pace that may not have been as quick as Shepard would have preferred but at least was steady.

Along the way, they were in constant communication with Victus. At one point, he detailed his plan to remove the threat.

"_Once we reach the bomb, I'll need to reprogram the trigger mechanism,"_ he told them.

"Copy that," Shepard replied in comprehension. "No trigger, no explosion."

When they were close the bomb site, Victus broke over the com again with a new report.

"_I'm getting a lot of Cerberus chatter,"_ he said. _"They're prepping for evac."_

"I don't like the sound of that," Shepard replied grimly. They looked up to see several Cerberus shuttles fly out over them.

"We'll have a better view up that ramp," Kaidan pointed out as he waved his hand to indicate the direction.

"Agreed, let's go," Shepard replied and broke into a run.

At the top of the ramp, they were able to clearly see the bomb in the near distance. It was enormous, as Victus had told them – truth not hyperbole. They stared in shocked horror.

"It must have been far enough underground to stay hidden," Shepard guessed. "Cerberus had to dig it out."

"I hope Victus knows what he's doing," Garrus replied. "We won't get a second chance."

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed and moved them forward. "Let's meet up with Victus."

"With Cerberus evacuating, the bomb should be clear," Garrus said hopefully as they jogged.

"I don't think so," Kaidan countered grimly. "I'm guessing they'll bring out the big guns now."

They reached the perimeter of the bomb site moments later, encountering very little Cerberus resistance along the way. They could see Victus standing on the platform atop the bomb structure and he looked up at their approach.

"_I'm at the control panel, Commander" _he reported over coms, _"Cerberus has set up a firewall around the trigger mechanism to slow us down. I need to create a bypass – that'll take time."_

"But like you said," he said as she jogged up to his side, "no trigger, no explosion."

"We'll make sure you have the time you need, Lieutenant," she reassured him. She turned to Kaidan with an arched brow as his wave caught her attention.

"Commander?" she questioned, knowing that whatever he had to say was important.

"I have a plan," he told her. "Remember our barrier trick?" he asked and waited for her nod as she remembered the times he had held his barrier safely over multiple allies during their fight against the Collectors. "I can take position just below this platform and protect Victus," he said, gesturing to the ground below them.

"And Garrus and I can take the flanks," she filled in with a nod. "Good plan, Commander. We'll keep as many of them off you as we can."

She turned back to Victus to relay the plan just as a sniper shot one of the other turian soldiers.

"Let's move!" she called to her squad and they took up their designated positions as Victus began the bypass.

Shepard moved to the west and took cover behind a low wall and glanced back to the platform. She nodded in satisfaction as she saw Kaidan position himself just below Victus and the blue glow of his biotic shield formed around both of them. She hoped the bypass would be quick – she knew from experience how much energy that maneuver drained – but she didn't doubt that Kaidan was strong enough to hold it. He had proven it more than once already. She turned back quickly as a Cerberus shuttle hovered and deposited a wave of enemies right in front of her. She raised her rifle and attacked. She managed to combine modded rifle fire and biotic skills to eliminate the entire wave – nothing got past her. She ducked back into cover and noticed another shuttle hovering in the east, above Garrus' location.

"You're up, Garrus," she called over coms, and held her position.

"_Understood,"_ he affirmed, and she heard the repeat of his rifle over the open connection.

For whatever reason, Cerberus alternated back and forth and gave her and Garrus time to rest and regroup in between shuttles for several more waves, and they were largely able to keep Victus – and Kaidan – safe. Only a few stragglers rushed past their positions, and Kaidan's barrier never wavered as he lifted his rifle and dispatched them easily. Victus updated them regularly and they were nearing the completion of the bypass when Cerberus finally deployed an Atlas mech.

"_I've got this,"_ Garrus called over the com to her. He switched from his assault rifle to his beloved Widow and patted the long barrel affectionately as he raised it and took aim and sent one shot directly into the Atlas' clear protective bubble. One shot was all he needed, it struck the operator and killed him instantly and the Atlas ground to a halt.

"Nice shot," Shepard called, thankful that she had brought a sniper on this mission.

"_Commander!"_ Victus called. _"Firewall's down, I'm in!"_

She turned and jogged back to Kaidan's position, looking up the ladder at Victus who was still working furiously at the control panel.

"Spirits!" he cried. "Cerberus hacked the trigger mechanism! It's set to detonate!"

"Disarm it!" she yelled back.

"No time!" he told her. "I have to separate the trigger from the bomb. Now!"

She climbed on to the platform and stared at him in alarm. He scurried to the nearest 'arm' connecting the trigger to the bomb core and began to climb.

"Cover me," he called down to her.

Shepard, Garrus, and Kaidan took up positions on the edge of the platform and fired on the Cerberus troopers creeping forward below them. Shepard risked a glance back and saw Victus perched in the middle of the bomb, he had raised the device in the center and the arms were disengaging from the rest of the structure. She heard a metallic groan as the third and final arm started to move then halted. The trigger was still engaged. She was distracted by a bullet that whizzed past her head and turned back to the enemies below.

Another metallic groan caught her attention and she turned her head just in time to see Victus clinging from the very end of the bomb arm.

"Lieutenant!" she cried in alarm and saw him began to fall. She tried to fling a pull and cursed as it went wide and missed.

"Victory... at any cost," she heard him call as he fell with the bomb trigger into the deep pit below. A fiery explosion reported his fate an instant later and Shepard turned her gaze away from the fatal fire and up all the way to see the bomb core still suspended safely above them. She dropped her gaze and fell into the overwhelming exhaustion that washed over her at that moment. She was literally numb... she knew she'd feel the emotions later, but right now, she was numb.

Kaidan and Garrus walked back to the shuttle with her in respectful silence. They both knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't accept their sympathy or worry... Not now, not yet. They gave her the space that she needed, though they couldn't prevent themselves from hovering in concern. She didn't seem to notice.

Once back on the shuttle, she took a seat in the back corner and gave off very strong 'keep away' vibes as she huddled with her hands on her knees and her head lowered. Kaidan was beginning to feel real alarm at her demeanor, but now wasn't the time to approach her. He watched from the far corner.

When they were near the Normandy, Joker's voice floated to them over the com.

"_Commander, I've got radio chatter coming in from the krogan forces planetside,"_ he reported. _"Sounds like they started sweeping out the remaining Cerberus troops. Hate to be the guy that told the krogan about that surprise package,"_ he added with typical sardonic humor.

After a long pause, during which Shepard did not respond in any way, Joker continued, his voice showing concern now, _"Did you get out alright? It sounds like it got ugly down there."_

"The turians took a lot of casualties, Joker," Kaidan stepped in to explain for her, "The primarch's son included."

"_Understood, Commander," _Joker replied in atypical formality when addressing Kaidan. _"Joker out,"_ he added and closed the com. Even Joker knew Shepard well enough to know when to back off.

Shepard looked up, finally, and Kaidan saw her give a slight smile of gratitude. It relieved him and he returned the smile. Garrus saw it, too, and moved closer to her. He met her gaze and spoke quietly.

"He never hesitated," he said. "Whatever he was before, he'll be remembered for this."

"What will the turians think about this, Garrus?" she replied and sounded much more like herself.

"Hard to say," Garrus hedged. "Sacrifice in war is expected. He did us proud, but... we're a hard bunch to please. Living your life for the cause, society first, platoon first, it's all just expected."

"He did what he had to do when it counted," she argued as if convincing Garrus would convince all his people as well.

"Yes, yes he did," Garrus conceded with a nod.

Shepard sat back satisfied and was quiet the rest of the short trip.

**#-#-#**

As usual, Shepard went to the com room to update Admiral Hackett on the mission once she had removed her armor and changed. Kaidan met her outside the door when she completed the short debrief and placed a hand on her arm to halt her progress.

"You don't have to do this," he told her quietly, knowing her next destination, "Or at least not right now."

"Yes, I do," she told him calmly, meeting his eyes and showing him the resolve in hers. "Besides, Hackett just ordered me to keep the peace..."

Kaidan dropped his hand and simply stood back and fell into step behind her. He knew she was right, he just couldn't help allowing his concern to attempt to delay her. When they reached the war room, angry voices confirmed her choice.

"We couldn't risk another galactic war with the krogan!" Victus argued.

"The genophage wasn't enough?" Wrex shot back in a tone that was menacingly low. "You had to plant a bomb on my planet?"

"The decision was made hundreds of years ago," Victus countered. "So much has changed!"

"Not enough to tell us about the bomb, coward!" Wrex replied and now his voice carried the heat and volume of his anger.

"Hey!" Shepard called from across the room to get their attention. Once they turned to her, she continued in a less strident but equally commanding voice, "We can't let the past rip us apart. Working together, we have a chance." She paused and walked closer to the two. "Primarch, you had a bomb on Tuchanka. And Wrex, in the turian's place, you would have done the same damned thing."

"Shepard," Wrex tried to interrupt but she raised a hand to stop him.

"It's over!" she stated firmly. "His own son died today making this right!"

"Please, Commander, it's alright," Victus stepped in and surprised her.

"Yes, fine, Shepard," Wrex conceded grudgingly. "You make your point. We have stronger enemies to face."

"We do," Shepard replied tiredly. Wrex gave a last growl and wandered away.

"I understand your reservations before, Commander," Victus told her quietly, "But I hope you now understand the secrecy."

"Secrets get people killed," she said bitterly. "You've learned that the hard way."

"Yes," he acknowledged and there was a world of pain in that one word. "The hardest lesson I'm ever to learn, Commander." He began to walk away but turned back after several slow steps. "My son... he died with the respect of his men. I wanted to thank you for that. His sacrifice will be recorded in the histories of the Ninth Platoon, something any father would be proud of."

"Yes, Sir," she replied quietly, thinking that she hoped it would be comfort enough, knowing that it wouldn't be for her. She met Kaidan's eyes and saw her emotions reflected there.

Kaidan approached her and placed a hand on the small of her back lightly and briefly – a touch that was so slight and short that no one else in the room noticed. She got the message loud and clear, and led him out of the room and to their cabin. There, she would finally be able to leave Commander Shepard at the door and be just Shepard, and he could be the man she turned to when everything around them was so much blood, death, and pain. He was, as always, her soft place to land, and she needed that more than anything now.


	11. In My Time of Dying

_A/N - huge double post for you today, sorry it's a little late - 11k words took a while to do final proofs :-) As I'm sure you're aware, this is Priority: Tuchanka, and while I have tried to do my best to put my own spin on TTK, some moments in the game should stand as is, because they're so nearly perfect... this is one of those, so there aren't huge changes here, just adding in the Shenko... hope you don't mind ;-) of course, you're aware of the events to come so you probably don't need a tissue warning, but still... *sob*_

_Thanks so much for your reviews Lyv, Gabe97, Meggo929, and AirForceBrat... you guys keep me going! Everyone else following, favoriting, reading, I see you, too! And thanks for your time :-)_

_All credit for everything ME belongs to Bioware, and I thank them for it... I also thank my awesome beta, StoneburntHeart, for all her support, help, and encouragement!_

* * *

Shepard and Kaidan rushed to the War Room in response to Traynor's urgent message that Mordin needed to speak with them about the genophage cure. They found Mordin was already there and crowded around the center console with Primarch Victus and Wrex. He looked up and nodded at their arrival.

"Shepard, tests verified, results promising," Mordin pronounced. "Can synthesize for universal krogan immunity."

"Good," Wrex replied with feeling. "Then you can put your knife away."

"The cure is ready?" Shepard asked in clarification.

"No," Mordin shook his head and opened his omni-tool. "Still need transmission vector. Cure useless unless given to entire species."

"You're usually full of ideas, Mordin," Shepard replied. "You altered the genophage before – there must be a way."

"Of course," Mordin answered contemplatively, bringing his hand to his chin in a gesture that indicated deep thought for him. "Always possibilities. But time limited. Can't create new infection strain from scratch. Ground water? No, too slow. Voluntary inoculation risky, population too scattered for airborn, unless... wait, yes! " he exclaimed and turned to her in excitement. "The shroud. Constant global dispersion of air particles. Built by salarians to repair atmosphere of Tuchanka." He bent over the terminal in front of him and a holo of the structure appeared floating in the air above the center console. "Also used by turians," he added slowly and with regret.

"We used it to secretly spread the genophage virus," Victus explained. "It ended the Krogan Rebellions."

"I'd be careful who you tell that to," Wrex grumbled in warning.

"Sometimes I understand why the krogan want to shoot everyone in sight," Kaidan put in quietly and Shepard nodded in agreement.

"Those were desperate times," Victus responded.

"Yes, yes, but useful now," Mordin interrupted excitedly. "Original genophage strain still in storage at Shroud facility. Can use it as transmission vector, then use Shroud to blanket Tuchanka with cure!"

"You clever little pyjak," Wrex pronounced as he studied the holo. "That's our best shot right there."

"Then finish your preparations and be ready to go, Mordin," Shepard instructed.

"Of course, ready when you need me," Mordin affirmed. "Will be in med-bay with Eve until then."

"Alright everyone, let's cure the genophage," Shepard announced and prepared to leave to plan her mission. Wrex caught her attention and stopped her. She wandered over to him with some irritation, waving Kaidan on. She'd catch up with him once she dealt with Wrex.

"What's going on, Wrex?" she asked her krogan friend.

"One of my squads went missing," Wrex said vaguely then when she glared at him finally continued, "They were scouting out the rachni relay," he explained. "We've heard rumors of trouble in the area."

"Rachni?" Shepard questioned in surprise... She had released the rachni queen and extracted her promise never to return. Why would there be activity from them now?

"Thought that might get your attention," Wrex stated with satisfaction. "I have a favor to ask. It's big."

"Bigger than curing the genophage?" she asked sarcastically. When he just smirked she sighed. "Don't tell me they're back..."

"All I know for sure is our scouts went silent as soon as they arrived," he told her. "I've got Aralakh company, our best unit, on standby. You give the word, they'll meet you there."

"I'll see what I can do," Shepard replied. "But after the genophage, ok? Only one crisis at a time here."

"Heh heh," Wrex laughed. "You're slowing down, Shepard."

"You weren't moving too fast on your way over here yourself," Shepard shot back.

"That's Mordin's fault," Wrex replied with a wince.

"Mordin's?" she questioned in surprise.

"Yeah... he got his tissue sample all right," Wrex said vaguely. When she still looked confused, he added, "Let's just say scalpels were never meant to cut where he cut."

"Ouch," she said with a sympathetic wince. "Hang in there, Wrex."

He nodded and turned back to his terminal and she left him to suffer in peace.

**#-#-#**

Shepard's next stop was deck 5. She planned to take James with her to Tuchanka, she wanted the extra muscle, so she thought she'd tell him in person. She suspected that Kaidan might be there, too... Strangely, since their display of testosterone before the Grissom Academy mission, the two had become tight. They were even planning a weekly poker night. Guys only, they informed her when she offered to join. She wished them luck. Joker had the worst poker face she'd ever seen and Garrus wasn't much for cards. Still, if it kept them happy, she'd keep her nose out of it.

She stepped off the elevator and the sound of an unfamiliar voice immediately greeted her. She looked around for the source, noted that Kaidan was with James at his station across the bay, and tracked the sound to Cortez, who was huddled over the center console in the armory. The sound was a recording he was playing.

"_Don't you dare. They're everywhere, you'll just get taken too,"_ the strange man's voice was saying.

"_I can't just sit here doing nothing," _Cortez argued on the recording.

"_Stay with me,"_ the other man replied.

"_Run – get out of there! You can make it!" _the recording of Cortez urged.

"_No, I can't Steve. But you can. Promise me,"_ was the recorded reply. _"I love you, but I know you. Don't make me an anchor. Promise me, Steve."_

"_No, don't..." _Cortez cried in pain on the recording.

Shepard approached Cortez warily and felt both apologetic for interrupting such a private moment and a rush of concern for the man who had quickly endeared himself to her. He was one of hers now, not just a part of her crew, but one of her extended Normandy family, and she hated to see the pain and tears on his face. She reached for him and placed a gentle sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"Commander," he said with some surprise. "Sorry, didn't see you there. This is a recording from Ferris Fields... months ago. I lost a lot of friends that day. I lost my husband. I grieved. Said goodbye, made my peace."

"You were talking with him when the Collectors hit?" she asked gently.

"I was organizing construction at a remote station a few clicks south of the main colony," he explained. "Robert managed to get outside of the field the Collectors put up. Instead of running, he called me."

Shepard remembered another time, another life, when she had huddled in an escape pod on a frozen planet and not known what fate had befallen the person she loved. She completely understood Cortez's husband and why he had chosen to spend his last moments in contact with his spouse rather than running in a futile attempt to escape. Closure was the only gift that Robert could give, though she knew Cortez wasn't ready to see that.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she told Cortez with feeling. "He obviously cared a lot about you."

"He was afraid I wouldn't let go," Cortez replied. "But for him, I moved on... At least I thought I had. Then the invasion hits. There's no time. And the one thing I grab is this? I mean, what's the point of moving on with your life if everything's going to hell?"

"Start thinking that way and we've already lost," Shepard said gently.

"Yeah. You're right. But well... to be honest, I've never felt as alone as I do right now," he responded.

Shepard turned and her eyes found Kaidan across the bay before she replied very slow and quiet, giving her voice the emphasis of all her feelings. "Someone once told me that its more painful to live and have to go on than to die," she told Cortez. She turned back to him and met his eyes. "You're not alone, Steve. I'm here, anytime you need me."

Because Cortez was far from dumb, he had obviously caught the look she had given Kaidan and the emotion in her words. His face reflected a bit of his confusion, but he didn't question her. Instead, he simply smiled and said, "I appreciate that, Shepard. I really do." He stiffened a bit and added, "But don't worry, Commander. When I'm in that pilot seat, I'm there 100%. I won't fail you. It's just the down time between missions that's hard, you know?"

"I know," she replied softly. "And I believe in you."

"Thanks, Shepard," he said with a slight blush as he turned back to his work.

She nodded and wandered over to the other occupants of the bay.

"What was that about?" Kaidan questioned her when she approached.

"Let's just say Steve and I have more in common than I expected," she replied vaguely and shrugged.

"Esteban's good people," James put in.

"You knew him before now?" Shepard asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we were stationed together on Ferris Fields before the Collector attack," he replied.

Shepard saw Kaidan react and realized they must each have half the story. They'd have to compare notes later, though, as she turned her mind to business and informed them that they'd be on her squad for the Tuchanka mission. She decided to forgo the briefing room and hold her meeting with them here. More efficient anyway. They spent half an hour reviewing their plans and strategy before she left them to head to the CIC and plot the Normandy's course to the Shroud facility. Time to cure the genophage. And get them one step closer to their return to Earth.

**#-#-#**

Just before the Normandy was due to arrive at the Shroud facility, Joker's voice came over the ship's com with a tone and phrase that Shepard so rarely heard from her sarcastic pilot it sent her flying to the cockpit to investigate.

"_All hands full stop! Hostiles detected at the landing coordinates."_

"Joker, what have you got?" Shepard called as she entered his domain.

"Sensors show a Reaper parked at the Shroud facility," Joker explained. "No way you're going to be able to land a shuttle there."

"Get everyone assembled in the War Room," she ordered with resignation. So much for mission planning. "I want eyes on the Shroud," she added as she too headed for the War Room.

When she arrived there, she saw that Mordin, Wrex, Victus, and her squad were already assembled. She walked down the short steps to join them and saw the holo that represented the Shroud had changed, and showed a different outline.

"New form of Reaper, Shepard," Mordin announced. "Using Shroud to poison Tuchanka's atmosphere. Problematic."

"They want a fight, they just got one!" Wrex huffed indignantly.

Shepard studied the Reaper for a moment before she turned to Victus. "Primarch, we're going to need your help," she told him.

"That could be difficult," Victus proclaimed solemnly. "Our losses on Palaven have been catastrophic."

"We're doing this for Palaven," Shepard reminded him firmly. "No one said it would be easy."

"What do you have in mind?" he questioned.

"A combined attack. Your people hit the Reaper with an airstrike," she explained. "Wrex, at the same time, your soldiers will be attacking from the ground. Together, you can draw it away from the tower."

"Yes, distraction," Mordin summarized with satisfaction. "Small team can reach Shroud facility, finish synthesizing cure. Will need Eve to come with us."

Shepard nodded then let her eyes travel over every person in the small circle before she spoke again. "We've never faced a Reaper up close like this. Everyone on board?"

"There's even a doubt?" Wrex replied boisterously, but Shepard saw heads nod and knew he spoke for them all. "Let's move, pyjak," he added to Mordin as he prepared to leave the room. "It's time to cure the genophage."

Shepard watched the rest of them follow, and then started to leave herself, until Traynor's voice over the com stopped her in her tracks.

"Commander, incoming message marked urgent," she reported. "I'll put it in the com room for you."

Shepard changed course and walked the short distance to the com room. As she entered, the holo of Dalatrass Linron appeared before her very surprised eyes.

"Dalatrass?" she questioned in greeting.

"Commander Shepard, we know you've reached Tuchanka," the salarian official reported sternly. "And by now, I imagine Mordin Solus has proposed using the Shroud."

"Are you spying on us?" Shepard questioned in offended alarm.

"Hardly," the dalatrass scoffed. "The Shroud is the only viable course of action open to you." She paused and switched to a more persuasive tone, "Commander, you can't allow your misguided sympathy for the krogan to cloud your judgment. Do you honestly believe curing the genophage will end in lasting peace?"

"We have to give the krogan that chance," Shepard told her firmly. "You can't condemn an entire race to extinction based on what might happen."

"What will happen is the krogan will reproduce out of control," the dalatrass argued. "We uplifted them specifically for their violent nature, not their diplomatic skills. Another war is inevitable."

"What do you want, Dalatrass?" Shepard questioned, more out of resigned curiosity than any interest to appease.

"Years ago, our operatives sabotaged the Shroud facility to ensure what you're planning couldn't be done," Linron informed her. "Mordin will likely detect this malfunction and repair it. But if you ensure that he doesn't, then the cure's viability will be altered just enough so that it fails. No one will notice the change."

"You mean trick the krogan?" Shepard summarized angrily.

"They need not be any the wiser," the dalatrass hurried to reassure. "Let Urdnot Wrex believe you fulfilled your promise."

"Mordin would never stand for that," Shepard countered. "Nor would I."

"Don't be so hasty, Commander," the dalatrass continued to argue. "We can provide you with our very best scientists to build the Crucible... and the full support of our fleets."

"If I sabotage the cure and betray my friends and risk the alliance that may win this war?" Shepard spat each word like it was a bitter taste in her mouth. "Your price is too high, Dalatrass."

"Just think about it, Commander," the dalatrass pleaded, unwilling to take no for an answer. "The choice is yours." Her holo blinked out and ended the conference. Shepard hurried out to the waiting shuttle.

**#-#-#**

Shepard was still simmering in silent irritation as she seated herself on the shuttle and sat back without comment for the short ride. She waved off Kaidan's questioning look and turned her attention to Wrex as he provided details on their destination.

"I've ordered the clans to assemble at the Hollows," he informed the group at large. "It's our sacred meeting ground. We'll land there and take an armored convoy against the Reaper. This will be the defining moment of krogan history."

"Krogan history filled with defining moments," Mordin sniffed in reply. "Most bloody. Hope this one better."

"Commander," Eve said softly to get her attention. When Shepard turned her head to meet the krogan female's gaze, she continued, "You seem troubled..."

"I got a message from the-" Shepard began to explain the sabotage request before the shuttle hit some turbulence and jarred them, interrupting her.

"_Wrex, it's Wreav,"_ came a low voice over the com and prevented Shepard from restarting her story. _"The Reapers are already at the Hollows! Come out with guns blazing!"_

"Hang on tight, we're heading in," Cortez called from the pilot's chair.

The shuttle landed a moment later and everyone aboard checked their weapons in adherence to Wreav's warning before Shepard hit the door released. The shuttle doors opened and a husk greeted them with a roar that was cut off by a quick fire of Wrex's shotgun.

Wrex hopped to the ground and turned back to the shuttle. "Shepard, keep them away from the female," he cried. "I'll sort out what's happening with the other clans."

He headed off to put plan to action and Shepard stepped out of the shuttle, taking customary point for her squad. They approached the ruin in front of them, weapons drawn and began to descend the long stone staircase. Before they were halfway down, they spotted a wave of husks rushing to approach them.

"Spread out, watch friendly fire, and keep an eye on our six," Shepard ordered her squad and then took off in a biotic charge into the first group of husks without waiting for acknowledgment.

They set up a loose triangular formation, with Shepard in the middle, and worked in sync to dispatch any husks that got through her attacks. Sounds of combat drifted down to them from the upper rims and told them that the krogan were engaged in battles of their own above them. Finally, all the Reaper forces lay dead around them and they turned to see Wrex saunter down the steps behind them.

"They'll sing battle songs about this someday," he proclaimed proudly. "Reaper blood has finally soaked our soil." Answering roars of krogan floated down from the upper reaches.

"We have to get to the Shroud," Shepard reminded him. "The airstrike is on its way."

"Female safe, Shepard," Mordin reported. "Vitals are strong."

"What's a salarian doing here?" a krogan leading a large entourage growled as he approached. "Nobody said anything about this."

"Multiple krogan. Problematic," Mordin commented as he eyed the new group warily.

"Who are you?" Shepard questioned the newcomer.

"Urdnot Wreav," the leader pronounced. "Blood brother to our... illustrious leader," he added with apparent scorn.

"Wreav and I share the same mother," Wrex confirmed. "And nothing else," he added with disdain.

"For which I'm thankful!" Wreav retorted. "I remember what it means to be a true krogan. We flay our enemies alive and drown them in a geyser of their own blood," he continued, playing to the crowd. "We don't invite them into our home."

"The salarian is not your enemy," Shepard stated, allowing her growing dislike of Wreav to color her tone, "He's here to help cure the genophage," the 'you ungrateful bastard' she added only mentally, in a show of superior restraint.

"His kind gave us the genophage," Wreav argued defiantly. "Why should we trust him?"

Wrex answered that question in true krogan fashion – with a headbutt. Shepard nodded in approval. She would have done that herself if she didn't remember the sore neck she'd suffered from the last one – and Kaidan might just let her suffer to learn her lesson if she repeated the move.

"Because I do," Wrex answered Wreav once he was on the ground. "And so will you, Wreav."

Wreav climbed back to his feet and pulled his shotgun to the rumbles of approval around them.

"Enough!" another voice rang out and stunned the crowd. All heads turned to the source of the sound and discovered Eve perched on the long staircase. All the krogan immediately settled into respectful silence and turned their attention to Eve. "You can stay here and let old wounds fester as krogan have always done," Eve pronounced as she began her descent down the long stone stairway, "Or you can fight the enemy you were born to destroy – and win a new future for our children. I choose to fight," she told them all as she finally reached the center dais. "Who will join me?" she turned to them and questioned.

"I will," Shepard replied in ringing tones.

"And so will I," Wrex added his gravelly response. "Now hold your heads high like true krogan!" he added as he wandered back toward the exit. "There's a Reaper that needs killing!" he cried vehemently, pointing to the door with emphasis.

Mordin, Eve, Shepard, Kaidan, James - and all the krogan – nodded in approval and followed Wrex to the waiting trucks.

**#-#-#**

Once they were settled in the caravan, they received an update from the turian squadron, letting them know that the airstrike was locked on target and ten minutes out.

They passed their time discussing krogan history and Wrex's plans for uniting their race in the future. Finally Eve turned her attention back to Shepard and pursued the topic that had been interrupted earlier.

"Commander, on the shuttle, was there something you were going to say?" she questioned.

"Dalatrass Linron tried to cut a secret deal with me," Shepard admitted. "She said they sabotaged the Shroud years ago. The cure won't work unless we fix it," she opened her omni-tool and replayed the recording of the conversation she had made.

"And she thought we wouldn't know better?" Wrex growled.

"Correctly," Mordin answered. "Would likely have fooled tests. But familiar with STG work. Can adjust. Did not come this far for nothing."

"You just spared our race another genocide, Commander," Eve said thankfully.

"I told you we could count on her," Wrex replied. He stood in alarm as the truck ground to a halt. "Why are we stopping?" he rumbled.

They jumped out the vehicle and Shepard nodded as Kaidan and James joined her after exiting theirs. They turned and saw the shape of the Shroud in the distance and ominous shadow of the Reaper that blocked their access.

"Wrex, you and Mordin stay with Eve," Shepard ordered. "It's looking ugly out here." She wandered over to the krogan soldier who was hovering over the lead truck. "What's the holdup?" she questioned.

"Road's out," he told her, pointing at the expanse of highway ahead, which was completely demolished. "The convoy can't make it through."

"Turian wing Artimec," Shepard called over the com link. "This is Shepard. We've been delayed – hold off your attack."

"_Negative, Commander, our approach is locked. The Reaper already knows we're here,"_ was the reply from the turian squadron.

They locked up as the turian fighters whizzed above them. "An airstrike alone won't do it," Kaidan pointed out grimly as they watched the turian wing close on the Reaper. "We need to get in that fight."

"Damn it!" Shepard called as they watched the turians engage the Reaper. "I don't care if we have to build a new road," she growled to the krogan scout, "We're going!"

"Oh... shit!" James cried as one of the turian fighters was struck by the Reaper's laser and sent spiraling toward them.

Kaidan yanked Shepard's arm and threw her to the side as the fighter crashed right into one of the trucks and sent it flying. He helped her back up and she nodded that she was ok.

"Shepard, what's happening?" Wrex called.

"Wrex, get the female out of here now! Go!" Shepard ordered. A moment later, the trucks took off over the unstable road. "Artimec, do you copy?" she questioned the turian wing.

"_We have to abort, Commander,"_ was the reply. _"That Reaper's tearing us to pieces."_

"Understood," she called back. "Save your pilots – we'll find another way!" Her eyes searched the landscape for any safe route.

"Over there, Shepard," Kaidan said with a gesture of his hand to indicate a cave mouth to the east. She nodded and changed direction to lead them that way.

Once inside the tunnel, they climbed down a ramp and inky darkness surrounded them. It was eerily quiet and still and they employed their flashlights though the beams of light only penetrated a few meters ahead of them.

"Wrex, are you receiving this?" Shepard called as she tried to get her bearings in the near-dark. "Is everyone ok?"

"Yeah, just scratches," he replied. "Nothing the salarian can't patch up. Wreav's truck made it out, too."

"The turians had to call off the airstrike," she informed him. "We'll need a new plan for dealing with the Reaper." She found a set of stone stairs and headed lower into the catacombs.

"First we'll have to find you," Wrex said. "Where did you end up?"

"Underground," she replied. "We see ruins of some kind."

"Commander, that's the city of the ancients," Eve explained.

The ground shook around them and dust fell around their ears. The tremble was nearly enough to overbalance her, and Shepard paused to steady herself before she asked, "How do we get out?"

"No maps exist," Eve replied. "It's been abandoned for thousands of years."

"You're a trailblazer, Shepard," Wrex added. "Get through there and we'll find a place to meet up."

Shepard led them through another series of stone rooms and they noted the ancient krogan art on the walls. Apparently krogan civilization once had a culture outside war. Perhaps they could again... if their mission succeeded. They descended another staircase the the tremor came again, this time stronger.

"Wrex, are you guys feeling these tremors?" Shepard asked.

"Not up here," Wrex replied.

"It could be something else, Commander," Eve warned. "It is said that Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws, lives in this region."

"Which is another reason to get your ass out there, Shepard!" Wrex cried. "Step on it!"

"So... Do I really wanna know who 'Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws' is?" James asked rhetorically.

"I'm guessing no, Lieutenant," Kaidan answered him anyway. "If the krogan gave it a name, they weren't planning for it be gone anytime soon."

"Great," James replied sarcastically, "Just great."

Their path took them around another tight corner and they came to another set of stone stairs, but these ones were ascending and Shepard's heart lightened that they might be near the end of the maze. It sank a moment later when their lights fell on the corpse crumbled at the the base of the stairs. Although signs of Reaper tech were apparent on the body, its spider shape was all too familiar to Shepard.

"Is that...?" Kaidan began, noticing the same similarities.

"Altered, yes, but looks like," Shepard replied as she crouched over the corpse for a closer look.

"You two wanna share with the class?" James put in, confused.

"Rachni," the two of them pronounced together.

"_Dios_, first a mother thresher maw and now evil spiders that aren't supposed to be around anymore?" James replied. "Remind me not to volunteer for your squad anymore, Lola."

"You didn't volunteer, James, I drafted you," Shepard replied drily as she led them up the staircase. At the top, they could finally see light ahead and their steps quickened.

**#-#-#**

Once outside, the presence of rachni – the Reaper version of them anyway – was confirmed as they were attacked by waves of ground forces. The squad fought together to eliminate the enemies and pushed forward to rendezvous with Wrex's trucks and Kalros' presence was equally confirmed. After more husks, ravagers, and cannibals attacked, Wrex revealed that Eve might have a plan to defeat the Reaper – they'd share it once Shepard reached them. Another wave of husks attacked and Shepard led the squad over a narrow bridge and into another section of the ruins while the trucks tried to outrun the thresher maw hot on their heels. Finally, the squad broke free of the Reaper resistance and made it to where the trucks had fled on some nearby dunes.

"Shepard, get over here," Wrex called as he swung the trucks around to meet her. "Wreav, keep an eye out for that maw, I don't want it sneaking up on us."

Shepard hustled her squad to Wrex's truck while the ground around them literally shook and exploded. Just before Shepard climbed in the truck to follow Kaidan and James, Kalros' spikes emerged from the ground nearby and let them know that they were out of time.

"We're in, go!" Shepard called to Wrex as they shut the door behind them.

The truck made it out in the nick of time, but Wreav's wasn't so lucky. They made it to the base of the Shroud – and the Reaper – without further incident.

"I hope somebody has a Plan B," James announced when they exited the truck and surveyed the site ahead.

"Apparently Wrex has one... And I hope its a good one," Shepard put in grimly.

"It was hers, actually," Wrex replied, gesturing to Eve.

"Kalros," Eve proclaimed. "We summon her to the Reaper."

"What? How?" Shepard asked, too stunned by the crazy idea for full sentences.

"Already discussed strategy," Mordin informed her. "Just need to distract Reaper from tower while cure synthesized, released."

"And what makes you so sure Kalros will come?" Shepard asked, shaking her head.

"Legends say she is the mother from which all other thresher maws spawn," Eve explained. "This is as much her home as ours."

"If Tuchanka has a temper, Kalros is it. Nobody's ever faced her and survived," Wrex added.

"Ok, how do we get her there?" Shepard asked.

"What? You're actually considering this?" James cried in alarm.

Shepard turned to him with a nod. "I can't imagine anything more fierce than a mother trying to protect her home," Shepard explained.

"And she would know," Kaidan said with a nod. He too had quickly seen the comparison. "If we can convince Kalros to help, it'll work."

"You're both _loco_," James said with a grin.

"This is the only way to get to that tower and release the cure," Wrex rumbled. "And I'd say its no crazier than going head to head with Sovereign." Shepard and Kaidan grinned in agreement.

"How do we summon her?" Shepard asked.

"The tower was built in an area devoted to Kalros' glory," Eve explained. "The salarians thought she would scare away intruders."

"Appears to have worked," Mordin added in defense of his people.

"There are two maw hammers there, the largest in existence," Eve continued. "If you can activate them, Kalros will come. That should distract the Reaper."

"Meanwhile, laboratory nearby. Will finish synthesizing cure," Mordin added his part of the plan.

"Let's make sure we all get out of here alive," Shepard told the group at large. "We're going to have one hell of a story to tell." She cracked her knuckles in emphasis and reached for her rifle to ready herself to head out.

"Wait!" Wrex called and interrupted her. "I want you to know that no matter what happens... You've been a champion to the krogan people, a friend of Clan Urdnot, and a sister to me," he offered his hand for a shake and Shepard took it gladly. "To every krogan born after this day, the name 'Shepard' will mean 'hero'! Now let's show them why!"

James whirled and raised his rifle as they heard several ravagers approach from behind them.

"Go! I've got this!" Wrex told him, raising his shotgun and moving forward to attack. "I AM URDNOT WREX AND THIS IS MY PLANET!" he roared as he charged the group. Shepard watched him go for a stunned second before she motioned the squad out behind her in the opposite direction.

"You know, Shepard," Kaidan muttered casually, "I don't think Jack was the only one listening to your speeches."

"Yeah, too bad we're not gonna beat the Reapers with words," Shepard replied with a laugh.

**#-#-#**

They made their way through the ruins and dispatched several more waves of Reaper ground forces while Wrex found the controls to raise the hammers for them. They climbed another stone staircase and headed across another bridge which gave them an unimpeded view of the Reaper across from them. Unfortunately, that meant that the Reaper had an unimpeded view of them as well, and its red laser sliced the bridge just in front of them and tossed them to ground.

"I just got shot by a Reaper!" James cried in what sounded like glee once they righted themselves.

"Consider that practice," Shepard told him drily.

"_Ok, Shepard, I raised the hammers,"_ Wrex told them as she moved up the stairs and onto the platform just in front of the Reaper. _"You have to activate both of them. My advice is avoid the giant __laser."_

It was timely advice, as the Reaper chose then to fire at them and narrowly missed when they rolled to the left.

"You've got to be kidding me," James called. "Are we really doing this?"

"Just keep moving, don't stop," Kaidan advised as Shepard pressed forward to the right hammer.

Shepard stopped still and James and Kaidan nearly ran into her until they, too, looked up to see what had drawn her attention. The turian fighters were flying low overhead, heading in the direction of the Reaper.

"_Commander, this is Artimec Wing,"_ the turians called over coms, _"We'll try to give that Reaper something else to shoot!"_

"Now that's some goddamn balls," James exclaimed as they watched the turians engage the enemy.

"Let's make it count," Shepard urged as they climbed the last ramp near the hammer.

The Reaper's laser might have been distracted by the turians, but that didn't prevent it from stabbing tentacles into the ground around them... and leaving brutes behind. Shepard growled in frustration but rushed past the the beasts. They took too long to adjust and reposition themselves to follow quickly and pose much threat – but they also took too long to kill for her to stop.

"Keep moving!" she urged her squad as they began to attack the brutes. They broke off and took after her at a run.

They dodged and weaved their way around brutes and the Reaper's arm and made it to the first hammer. Shepard activated the ancient device with a relieved sigh. One down.

"_Shepard! Get that second hammer going!"_ Wrex urged.

"There's a Reaper in my way, Wrex!" Shepard called back in frustration as she dodged around another set of brutes and headed to the other hammer.

"_I know, you get all the fun," _Wrex grumbled.

Shepard dodged another attack of the Reaper's arm and finally reached the second hammer. The three humans stood back and watched in amazement as the hammers did their job, producing a ground shaking, ear piercing sound that was terrible and triumphant at the same time. The brutes broke off their attacks, stunned as well. The ground began to shake and the brutes fled, almost as if they knew the Reaper needed them. They saw Kalros break the surface, nearly as massive as the Reaper itself, and wrap herself around the metal beast. Shepard turned from the fierce battle. As much as she'd love to stay and watch, her work wasn't done yet.

"Go! Get back to the trucks!" she called to Kaidan... and James. She needed to know that they were safe and out of the way, whatever the outcome of the maw vs Reaper fight. "I'll take care of the cure!" she added as they began to comply.

"Shepard..." Kaidan stopped and looked back at her... torn between the desire to follow her order, and the overwhelming need to protect.

"I'll be fine, go!" she urged. He hesitated another second before he nodded and left without further comment.

**#-#-#**

Shepard dodged her way around the giant combatants on the way to the Shroud tower and reached it just as the battle was finally decided, in Kalros' favor. She nodded in satisfaction, but rushed inside, noting that the skirmish had damaged the tower, and there were several fires and minor explosions inside the structure. She rushed to where Mordin was busy at work at a nearby terminal.

"Mordin is the cure ready?" she asked as another explosion rocked the tower and shook the ground.

"Yes, loaded for dispersal in two minutes," Mordin replied. "Procedure traumatic for Eve, but not lethal. Maelon's research invaluable."

"She's ok?" Shepard echoed.

"Headed to safety now," Mordin confirmed. "Her survival fortunate. Will stabilize new government should Wrex get any ideas. Good match, promising future for krogan."

Another explosion caused fiery debris to fall nearly on them.

"Damn!" Shepard cried as she raised her arms protectively.

"Control room on top of Shroud tower," Mordin continued as if nothing had happened. "Must take elevator up!"

_Wait, what?_ Shepard thought. _Mordin was going to the top of the tower? The tower that was currently crumbling around them... explosively?_ Her heart began to race in panic and she had to swallow around the sick fear before she could speak.

"You're going up there?" she questioned in alarm.

"Yes," Mordin replied with a nod. "Manual access required. Have to counteract STG sabotage. Ensure cure dispersed properly."

"Mordin this whole thing is coming apart!" she argued desperately. "There has to be another way!" The panic was threatening to choke her now, but she had to push past it, she had to talk him out of this. For just one brief second, she wondered what would have happened if she hadn't told Mordin about the sabotage but she shoved the thought aside.

"Remote bypass impossible," Mordin countered. "STG countermeasures in place. No time to adjust cure for temperature variance. No, no other option," he concluded. "Not coming back," he told her matter-of-factly. "Suggest you get clear. Explosions likely to be... problematic." He turned and headed to the elevator.

"Mordin, no!" she cried and jogged after him. She had to stop him, had to find another way.

Mordin reached the elevator and turned back to her solemnly. When he spoke, his voice was soft and full of emotion. "Shepard, please. Need to do this. My project. My work. My cure. My responsibility." He paused for a moment before he continued in a reflective tone, "Would have liked to run tests on the seashells."

"I'm sorry," she said regretfully, knowing that she had lost.

Shepard knew there were tears welling in her eyes and she didn't question for a moment that she had never been a person to cry before. Her life had changed irrevocably the day the Normandy died... the day that Kaidan had died. But she was still Commander Shepard, and she knew all about tough choices and sacrifice. She had learned that lesson the hard way the day of the Blitz, and Virmire had been another brutal reminder. She knew the only thing she could do now is honor the choice that Mordin had made, and say her goodbyes while she still could. She would mourn him later, but now he deserved her respect.

"I'm not," Mordin replied firmly. "It had to be me." He walked to the back of the elevator and pressed the button to engage it. The clear door shut behind him, but she could still clearly hear him add, "Someone else may have gotten it wrong," and she voiced the words with him.

She stood and watched as he disappeared from view. She may have stood there longer but another explosion rocked the tower and sent her back into action. She turned and headed back to the trucks. She had nearly reached them when a massive explosion roared through the air and caused her to swing her head back to the tower.

She saw the fiery red ball just at the vertex of the structure and knew Mordin's fate had been sealed. A moment later, the light emanating from the tower changed from sickly green to a fleshy pink and she watched in wonder as particles of that same light began to fall around them. She reached out with a gauntleted hand and let the specks of the cure fall on it. It was as if Tuchanka's very sky was crying the tears she couldn't afford to shed – not yet.

She turned to climb into the truck and was completely unsurprised to see Kaidan standing just behind her, watching her solemnly. She met his eyes and knew he read the truth in hers. She nodded and trusted him not to question or comfort – not now. Instead, they climbed into the truck silently and took their seats. She'd never know that Kaidan glared at James until he got the message and resisted asking about Mordin... she was too distracted by her turbulent emotions to notice.

**#-#-#**

They stopped again at the Hollows and Shepard followed Wrex and Eve into the ruins, still wrapped in her own thoughts. Kaidan hovered protectively at her shoulder, but remained silent. She accepted his quiet comfort and support and was grateful for his strength.

"A long time ago, my father betrayed me in this place," Wrex told them. "His own son. He tried to kill me. So I had to kill him..." he pointed to a rock formation nearby. "Right over there. That's what the genophage reduced us to. Animals. But you changed that today, Shepard."

"Now we'll fight for our children, not against them," Eve added. "It's just a pity Mordin had to die."

Shepard sucked in a breath at the first verbal confirmation of the painful fact and she felt Kaidan's hand fall on her shoulder in support. She turned to Eve after a pause to compose herself.

"He wouldn't have had it any other way," she said quietly... the first words she'd spoken since she'd left Mordin in the tower. "And I'm sure wherever he is... he's putting in a good word for us," she said and there was a sad smile on both her face and in her voice.

"We'll name one of the kids after him... maybe a girl," Wrex said with a laugh.

"But you, Commander... we can thank you in person," Eve added.

"Tell the turians I'll be deploying troops to Palaven immediately," Wrex told her. "And when you're ready to kick the Reapers off Earth, you let me know. The krogan are back in business."

"Goodbye, Commander," Eve stretched out her hand for a shake and Shepard returned the gesture.

"What will you do now?" she asked her new friend.

"Spread the hope you've given us," Eve said simply. "Even now, there are clans gathering in the Kelphic Valley. I'll go speak to them and make sure this gift isn't squandered. Thank you for all that you've done. And know that Urdnot Bakara calls you a friend."

Shepard gave a half bow in thanks for the honor she had been bestowed then turned to leave without further comment.

**#-#-#**

Once back on the Normandy, Shepard changed out of her armor and headed to the com room for her debrief with Hackett. She was numb, and exhausted. There were so many emotions swimming through her she wasn't sure she could begin to process them all. She just wanted to get through this chore and on to the next and more than anything didn't want to stop to think. She left the com room and walked right into the solid wall of Kaidan.

"Kaidan..." she began, thinking that this was one of the few times she really wasn't grateful to see him. Oh, she loved him more than anything, still. That was part of the problem. She wanted to hide, and she could never hide with Kaidan.

"Come on," he said simply and firmly, brooking no argument. He herded her out of the room and toward the elevator. "It's time to rest, you're exhausted."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," she muttered defiantly, but she went.

When they reached their cabin, he surprised her. She thought he'd press her to talk, to let go, to finally release the firm hold on her control that she'd kept since the Shroud tower. Instead, what conversation they had as they both got ready for bed was light and casual. He kissed her softly and without passion and drew her into bed.

"Sleep," Kaidan told her quietly as he wrapped her in his arms. She laid her head against the steady beat of his heart and thought she might not be able to sleep. An instant later, she was out.

**#-#-#**

_She was back in the murky glow of the forest. The trees were ghosts around her and their spindly arms blackened the sky. Particles of light that mimicked their falling leaves – and strangely were the antithesis of the cure falling against the Tuchanka sky – fell around her. She turned and saw a circle of dark shadows forming a ring around the child she knew she'd find. She started to run, daring to hope that this time would be different. Once again, she fought frustration as her efforts resulted in a slow motion jog. She pressed on, determined._

_She was nearly there, nearly to the child she could hear giggling in this circle of malevolent shadows when a new voice whispered across the darkness._

"_Shepard," she heard Mordin call and she turned to look for him. A flash of red drew her attention back to the boy and he ran from her..._

_She changed direction, trying to reach him as the unintelligible whispers increased in volume around her and nearly drowned out the sound of his panicked sobs. _

"_It's ok, Skipper, you know it's the right call," Ashley's desperate plea reached her in the next moment. Ashley... so brave and strong... Ashley, who had been the first – no second – sacrifice she'd had to make at the brutal altar of this endless war against this insurmountable enemy. Oh Ash, she thought as she tried to quicken her steps again, how I miss you..._

_She was nearly there, so close, the child was crying but he had stopped moving, was huddled in another circle of shadows. Shepard imagined she could feel their chill touch, but pressed through them, closer to the boy. The glow of red highlighted him like some bloody spotlight, as if he were an actor on stage in a theatre. She reached for him, stretching out her hand in supplication as she had that day when she found him in the vents._

_This time, the dream didn't withhold its torture til the brutal end. This time, when the child looked up at her, he wore the face of her child. Caleb's caramel eyes, so like his father's that it stole her breath, met hers. They were filled with tears._

"_Mama..." he cried and her heart broke, shattered into a million pieces._

_The fire came again as she knew it would. She watched again in horror as her child burned before her eyes while she stood helpless to save him._

Shepard woke with a gasp and struggled out of bed. She shoved Kaidan's hands aside when he reached for her in concern and ran for the bathroom. She was violently sick, and her sobs made the spasms that much worse. She barely noted Kaidan's touch as he stroked her hair and it took long, long minutes before she heard him speaking softly, comfortingly. When she was finally done, she let him help her up and stood grateful and submissive as he washed her face, tended to her. She only resisted when he tried to draw her out of the bathroom. She stopped and reached for her toothbrush and brushed her teeth. Getting the taste out of her mouth and the simple routine task helped settle her enough that she was able to walk on her own back to bed with him.

They laid back down and he drew her into his arms. She was shaking... Cold and shock combined caused her body to react in tremors so strong that it took what seemed to her like ages before his warmth began to penetrate and she was finally still. When she finally breathed a long shuddering sigh and relaxed enough to feel the ache that tension had caused, he finally spoke.

"Talk to me, Shepard," he said and his voice was soft, quiet, and patient, but it wasn't a request. She knew he would not take no for an answer. She wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and hope the dream didn't find her again, but she knew he was right. Still, she took a deep breath before she spoke and noted with some satisfaction that it barely shuddered.

"When we were on Earth, there was this boy. He couldn't have been more than five or six. I used to watch him play in the courtyard below my cell window. On the day of the attack, I found him trying to hide in the vents. I couldn't convince him to come out," she paused as her voice broke. She took another breath, and she had lost the battle for control, this time it was shaky. She felt his hand stroking her back in silent support and used his warmth and strength for the courage to go on. "He was in one of the shuttles that exploded as we left. I watched him die. In the dream, I keep trying to reach him, thinking I can save him," she explained.

"And you can't," Kaidan filled in, prompting her.

"It's worse than that," she mumbled bitterly. "Just before I reach him, just as I think it will be different..." she paused, unable to voice the true horror of the dream in the safety of his embrace.

"Shepard?" he questioned patiently.

"Just before I watch him die, burn in the fire I can't stop... he's Caleb," she said and she broke. Huge sobs wracked her and now she couldn't stop, couldn't hold back. "Oh, Kaidan, I watch our son die every time and I can't save him, I can't help him..."

"Shhh," he soothed as he drew her closer, stroking her hair, murmuring to her, letting her ride out the waves of anguish and wishing with everything he was that he could take this pain from her. When she finally stopped crying, whether out of exhaustion or because she had finally pushed through the pain, he echoed, "Every time? You've had the dream before?" He was afraid of her answer, afraid that she had suffered through this while he slept quietly and ignorantly at her side.

She nodded against his chest. "Once," she admitted. "Right after Mars..."

The answer was like a blow to him. He wasn't sure how he would have dealt with knowing that he had been with her and not known about the dream, but knowing that she had endured it when he was in the hospital... Knowing that she had suffered alone... That cut him to the quick.

"Never again," he told her fiercely and it was a promise, a vow. "I can't stop the dreams from coming... But you'll never go through this alone again." He kissed the top of her head to seal the promise and knew that he meant it with all that he was.

"Thank you," she replied and she felt surprise that his simple vow, a promise of not necessarily protection, but of support, was enormous comfort. She knew her psyche well enough to know that it liked to torture her with brutal dreams, so she was realistic enough to expect the dream to come again. But she also knew that she could endure. It would never be easy, but having Kaidan at her side meant she could bear it. Her heart filled with the emotion she felt for this man, and it spilled out into her next words, "I love you." The simple truth was another vow between them.

"I love you, too, Shepard," he replied with another kiss to her head.

She lay in simple quiet comfort in his embrace for long moments, wondering if she could sleep, before she realized that she needed another fire to banish the horror of the dream. She needed another kind of comfort and peace. She rolled onto her stomach so that she was fully on top of him and captured his mouth in a searing kiss. She poured all of her need into it, trying to tell him without words what she wanted. When she realized that he was simply lying passive below her, too much in comfort mode to think of passion, she pulled back and spoke against his lips.

"I need you, Kaidan," she told him in quiet desperation. "Make me forget, give me something else to dream about." She joined their mouths again, and this time, he met her in passion.


	12. Show Me How to Live

_A/N - this is the smutty continuation of the last chapter... it is mostly **PWP, M-rated, and totally NSFW!** You've been warned!_

_All due credit to Bioware, once again, and to my beta, StoneburntHeart :-)_

* * *

Shepard fell into the kiss, pouring all her emotion in to it, trying to lose herself in Kaidan. She clung desperately to him, tried to blanket herself over him, but it wasn't enough, she needed more, she needed to feel him on top of her. She broke the kiss and rolled to the bed beside him and pulled him over her, and finally, his comforting weight on top of her gave her the first relief she felt from the cold, empty touch of the dream. When he tried to brace himself on his arms, lift himself over her in concern that he was crushing her, she pulled him back. She didn't want the comfort – she wanted the heat and the pressure. She wanted to forget. She ate at his mouth and clawed at his back in desperate passion while she arched her hips up into him. It wasn't enough... She needed more, needed to be closer.

She gave a frustrated moan when he broke the kiss, panting against her, and began to murmur against her lips, soothing her, stroking her hair. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to cling to the spark of passion, tried to keep the fire burning within her. She needed that heat, she needed to chase away the cold. She didn't want to slow down, to savor, she wanted to race, to burn. She stubbornly refused to meet his eyes, shoved away his soothing hands, and tried blindly to find his mouth with hers in an effort to feel... something... anything but the shocked numb the dream had caused.

"Shepard," he finally said in a voice that brooked no argument. He went completely still on top of her, using his superior position and weight to pin her. When she finally met his whiskey-colored eyes, she saw heat in them, and the love and concern she had expected. He held her gaze and finally touched her, and it wasn't in comfort. He stroked his hands down her sides, over her shirt and shorts, but the caress had heat. It was intended to arouse, not soothe, and it had the desired effect.

"I just want to forget," she tried to explain, feeling a bit ashamed now. She tried to look away, but he brought a hand to her chin and held it firmly.

"I don't want you to forget," he told her and there was heat in his tone, too. "I want you to remember. I want you know who you're with and why. I want you to want me. I want you to know that I love you, and you don't need to lose yourself in me," he murmured against her mouth before he captured it for a kiss as hot as the words had been. When he pulled back, he still watched her eyes carefully. "I want you to find everything you need, right here, with me."

And just like that, he stole her heart again. This man who was her soul, truly her other half, who knew her better than anyone, knew exactly the right thing to say. What he was offering was better than the oblivion she had sought. He was offering a true peace... a place where only their love could exist and no dreams could touch. She knew she didn't have the words to tell him that's what she needed, she knew she didn't need them. Instead, she simply nodded and he kissed her again. And it was everything she didn't realize she had wanted. It was everything she needed.

He broke the kiss moments later, and swept her loose t-shirt up and off her. It was actually an old shirt of his – she had repurposed it back on Earth and it had become her standard sleep attire on the rare occasions she wore anything to bed. He threw it carelessly behind him to the floor and lowered himself back on her. He still kept his full weight on her, seeming to understand that she needed that, sacrificing his typical chivalrous protection to give her that. Their bare chests met in searing heat and he brought his mouth back to hers. She felt his hands sweep back up her torso and cup her breasts and she sighed into their kiss as he closed warm hands around flesh that ached for his touch.

He moved his hot mouth to her neck, just below her ear and she felt the dual caress of his breath and his tongue on her sensitive skin as his thumbs moved to her peaked nipples and rubbed them in a caress that was exactly the right tempo and pressure. He played her body like a musician played their instrument, with an ease and skill born both of long practice and careful study. She reveled in it, digging her blunt nails into the naked skin of his shoulders and back. She knew she was leaving marks – she knew he wouldn't care. He brought his mouth back to hers and their tongues danced again for long seconds before he left her and settled in the same spot on the other side. Again, his breath and tongue heightened the knot of arousal building in her stomach and she squirmed a bit beneath him. She could feel the firm evidence of his need against her and the slight movement rubbed all the right places for both of them. She moaned in pleasure.

He answered her moan by gathering both her nipples between thumb and forefinger and squeezed enough to enhance the pleasure, not enough to hurt. It was, as always, exactly the right touch, and he swallowed her gasp in another hot kiss before his mouth left hers and trailed down over her throat in a series of fiery kisses. He settled on her collarbone and licked against the raised ridge of it, from one side to the other, while his clever fingers stayed busy on her hard nipples. She pressed up against him, and tunneled her hands through his hair, clinging to the caress with every part of her. He didn't linger long, instead, he lowered his mouth and captured one of her nipples in its wet, searing warmth and she tightened her hold on his hair as the heat and suction sent tingles through her entire body.

He swept his free hand down and tugged at her loose shorts, switching to the other side when he switched nipples, then finally used both hands to pull them down completely. He sat back long enough to strip her, throwing her last piece of clothing to the floor before he swept her legs apart and slid back between them. His mouth closed over her nipple again but his hand moved between her legs, finding the source of her desire and teasing it lightly with his fingertips. The caress was light and teasing but she still felt it to her soul and she moaned again. The moan turned into a gasp a second later when he changed the tone of his caress, sliding two fingers inside her slick channel in a swift motion that was not rough, but not the gentle tease it had been before either.

He lifted his head and met her eyes again, and she saw every bit of the passion she felt reflected in his gaze. He didn't move his fingers yet, just kept them still, filling her, as he met her mouth again. He kissed her until neither of them could breathe, and she nearly forgot he was inside her, then he lifted his head and again his eyes met hers. When he started to move his fingers, the slow slide out and the quick stroke back in, the sensation nearly overwhelmed her, and her eyelids fluttered shut.

"No," he growled and his voice was low and husky with passion. "Look at me."

She opened her eyes and his gaze locked on her, he continued the movement of his hand, and she saw the flames of the heat he was building in her in his eyes, too. She felt the pressure building, knew the climax was building and inevitable, and still she didn't look away. She was falling, floating, and when his thumb flicked over her on the next stroke, she was flying. She saw the satisfaction of her orgasm reflected in his eyes in the instant she held them before her involuntary responses took over and she had to close her eyes and give in to the passion. When she opened her eyes again, his amber gaze was there, waiting patiently for her, and she smiled softly.

He kissed her again and moved his hand, but she shifted restlessly against him. It wasn't enough, not anymore, and he knew it. He withdrew the hand and gathered her legs around him as he gently slid into to her and possessed her with his own body. She sighed in relief against his kiss as the union gave her the peace it always did – the peace she craved and needed more than anything tonight. He paused once he was deep inside her again and this time he didn't have to ask, she met his eyes with love and trust. He began to move, a slow gentle slide in and out of her body that seared them both with its slow friction. She watched the conflict of contentment and desire in his eyes for long moments while he fought to keep their pace slow and infinitely arousing before the flames that echoed the fire she felt inside raged and settled the matter for them.

He moved in an ever quickening pace, thrusting in and out of her in a dance that had only one finale, though they both would share in it. She moved beneath him, lifting her hips, playing her role, working with him to that pleasure they both sought. Neither of them broke their gaze, they stayed locked together as completely as their intimate flesh, and it only enhanced the heat, raised the tension. They both saw the orgasm in the others eyes before their felt it in their own bodies, and they fell into their dual pleasure with hearts signing that in this, too, they had been together. He buried his head against her neck and continued to thrust against her in uneven jerky motions, while she threw her head back and arched into him. She clung to him desperately as wave after wave of pleasure swept over her, and they stayed like that for long minutes until they were finally still and panting in exertion. He rolled to his back and drew her on top of him and she lay against his chest listening to his heart race under her ear. It was the perfect way to end this perfect lovemaking and she sighed in contentment. He lifted a hand to stroke her hair, and this too, was a familiar comfort.

When the galloping beat of his heart finally settled into its customary rhythm, the tears started. She cried quiet hot tears of sorrow and release, not the violent sobs of earlier, and he stroked her hair and soothed her with quiet murmurs while she finally was able to release the grief that had built from the moment she left Mordin in the tower and through the horror of her dream. These tears were the healthy tears borne of losing a dear friend and the sad truth that he likely wouldn't be the last. She let them fall unabated, safe in the arms of the person who saw her no matter what mask or shield she had in place. And there in his arms, she finally began to heal. She wasn't unrealistic... she knew this war had many such moments of grief in store for her, and she desperately clung to the hope that she'd never have to endure a loss she couldn't handle. But for now, it was enough. For now, she was safe, and loved, and she could rest. She fell asleep with that knowledge as her shield, his warm arms her protection, his love her peace.


	13. How Far We've Come

_A/N - Hope everyone had a great weekend! And for those of you in US, Happy Memorial Day! As luck would have it, this chapter seems very appropriate for the holiday, since it's a memorial of sorts as well :-) One nice thing about re-arranging the events of ME3 for TTK is I don't have to leave Javik on ice (so to speak) as long as I usually do when I play the game XD. Hope you enjoy my take on this mission..._

_Thanks for your reviews, Meggo929, Lyv, Gabe97, spaceconveyor, and AirForceBrat (nice insight on their relationship, it does describe what I try to convey between them, so thank you). Your feedback is very important to me, and I appreciate you taking the time to give it! Everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, I appreciate the feedback of your time on my story as well! Thank you!  
_

_All credit once again goes to Bioware, to whom I give my eternal gratitude. A huge thanks to my beta, StoneburntHeart, not only for her help and support this time, but for giving me the idea for the way this chapter plays out! You're awesome! *hugs*_

* * *

Shepard stared at Liara in wonder. She couldn't quite believe what her friend had just said, and asked her to repeat it for confirmation.

"I said, Alliance Command has discovered that the colony of Eden Prime is under attack by Cerberus forces," Liara repeated patiently. "They believe that Cerberus has discovered a major Prothean artifact there and that triggered the attack."

"And you think this artifact might have information on the Crucible? Maybe even fill in the missing piece we need?" Shepard completed the story Liara had called her here to relate.

"Yes," Liara nodded. "At the very least, everything we have learned about the Crucible and the Reapers in general has come from the Protheans. Knowing that there is an artifact there, perhaps another beacon, would make retrieving it valuable. The fact that Cerberus is willing to attack the colony to possess it reinforces that value. And, of course, that the colonists are helpless and the Alliance stretched too thin to provide aid makes this a rescue mission not just of information but also of people."

"You had me at Prothean artifact, Liara," Shepard said with a grin. "No need to persuade me further. But yeah, the colonists need us... I'll have Joker set a course for Eden Prime, asap."

"Thanks, Shepard," Liara replied with a relieved sigh.

"No, thank you, _Dr. T'Soni_," Shepard corrected as she stood to leave. "Dig out your archaeological gear, can't imagine hunting for artifacts without you," she added as she reached the door.

She saw Liara nod in response and she exited to head to the CIC and set the Normandy's course. They were going back to where it all began.

**#-#-#**

When the squad gathered on the shuttle to head to Eden Prime, Shepard looked around and saw two people who had been with her nearly from the beginning, and had since become two of the most important people in her life. When she saw Liara studying the onboard vid screen, she knew she wasn't the only one swept by the nostalgia of this mission.

"Eden Prime... this is where it all began," Liara said contemplatively. "Where the Prothean beacon gave you the vision that warned you about the Reapers."

"We lost a lot of good people when Saren and the geth hit this place," Kaidan filled in, sharing his own memories.

"And now, with Cerberus here, these colonists are under attack again," Liara said.

Shepard studied Kaidan and realized that this mission didn't just remind her of the beginning of the war against the Reapers, but held the reminder of another, more personal beginning. "Seems like more than three years ago," she said aloud to her squad, though only she knew she meant the first time she and Kaidan had met, not the Eden Prime mission...

_Shepard had been the last to join the crew of the Normandy SR1, not the ideal way to begin her first post as XO as far as she was concerned, but it couldn't be helped. She had jumped at the chance to serve under Captain Anderson, he had long been her mentor, and was relieved when he was willing to divert to the Sol System to rendezvous with her cruiser, the SSV Athens, on which she had been serving as third in command and chief of marine detail. She had passed the time waiting for the Normandy to arrive by reviewing the endless amounts of data reports that Anderson had provided, since she wouldn't have the time for a full tour and debriefing once she joined the crew - they'd be headed directly to Eden Prime for their shakedown run. _

_Shepard wasn't sure a shakedown was any more exciting than the flag tour the Athens had been engaged in, but a few things in the data reports raised the intrigue of the Normandy's mission for her. First, they would be graced by the presence of a Council Spectre on this mission. The explanation that he was a turian who wanted to see the joint human-turian-designed frigate's capabilities firsthand was a likely explanation, but Shepard didn't doubt it was only part of the explanation. Turian or no, Spectres didn't attend shakedown runs. _

_Second, her chief of marine detail was another human biotic – interesting enough since there were still few enough biotics that had risen to high ranks in the Systems Alliance military that rarely did two biotic officers serve together on the same crew – but Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was also apparently one of the few recipients of the flawed L2 implants who had been stable enough to resist the upgrade to the L3 when it became available. That the surgery to retrofit L2s with the new L3 implants was incredibly risky and carried a high chance of permanent brain injury still didn't dissuade most L2s, or the Alliance. Apparently Lieutenant Alenko had been lucky enough to suffer only from painful migraines and had chosen to accept that side effect rather than take the risk._

_Shepard had read horrific reports on L2s and the side effects, and had been grateful that her biotic capabilities had been discovered late enough to have been implanted with L3s from the beginning. She knew biotics were valued in the Alliance military, and that huge enlistment incentives were still offered for people with their capabilities, but human biotics were still uncommon. Stable L2 biotics with talents that spiked near-asari in power level were just unheard of. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of professional jealousy for Alenko and couldn't wait to meet him – and see him in action._

_As it turned out, she hadn't waited long for her wish. Her shuttle had deposited her at the Normandy's airlock and Captain Anderson had met her once she cleared decon. After a short tour of the bridge and CIC, during which she was introduced to Navigator Charles Pressly, and Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, Anderson had waved her to the crew deck to stow her gear, advising her they'd leave the Sol System in the morning. She had nodded gratefully and slung her sea bag back over her shoulder, lifted her two weapons cases, and headed down to her destination. Once there, a helpful ensign had pointed her to the personal lockers and she had just found an empty one and was stowing her gear carefully when a deep voice from behind her startled her. She whirled to face the source of that voice... and time stopped. _

_Before her stood a marine who was, she thought a bit fancifully, her definition of male perfection. Not the pretty effeminate features of the vid stars and models that were so in trend, but rather solid, rugged, masculine. He was tall, topped her taller-than-average-human-female height by a few more inches, and had the muscles that came from use and practice, not hours in the gym with dead weights. His hair was close cropped, in military fashion, but still showed a hint of curl, and she noted with surprise, it wasn't dark brown but rather true black. She remembered the old phrase 'tall, dark, and handsome' and realized she was staring at the prime example of the description. When she met his eyes, she spent long seconds trying to decide on the right adjective to describe their shade, for a simple 'brown' didn't do them justice. She finally decided they reminded her of the finest whiskey... clear and perfect amber. _

_When she heard him ask, "Do you need some help, ma'am?" in careful polite tones, she realized she must have been gawking. She started a bit and smiled, hoping to disguise her embarrassment at having been caught staring with a gesture of camaraderie. He returned her smile with an open look that was neither critical nor gave an indication that he had been aware of her perusal. She liked him instantly for it. Some men that attractive would note the female interest she was sure she had shown and either reciprocated or gloated... This man simply held out his hand for a friendly shake. She took it and returned the gesture while they introduced themselves._

_When she turned back to her locker to continue stowing her gear, after declining his polite offer, she knew two things. First, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was every bit as dangerous as she had anticipated from the reports she had read. Second, his danger had nothing to do with his biotic abilities. She had met many attractive men in her 29 years, and she simply wasn't the kind of woman to stop and stare at them, especially not ones under her command. She had shaken the hands of enough other biotics to know that the spark she had felt in every nerve of her body when they had touched had nothing to do with latent charge that the active eezo nodules in their nervous systems sometimes caused. No, she realized as she completed her packing and headed for her designated sleep pod, Kaidan Alenko was different. He was trouble, with a capital T, for her. And she was going to have to remind herself daily about the Alliance regs against fraternization while she worked closely with the man who had – literally – just stopped her in her tracks._

Kaidan watched the memories wash over Shepard and realized that this mission was bringing all of that back for them... another time, another place, another life. "A lot of memories here," he added. "Jenkins and the damn geth recon drone..." his voice trailed off as he lost himself to memories of his own...

_When Kaidan saw the pain in Commander Shepard's eyes when she met his over the corpse of Richard Jenkins for the few seconds of honest human communication before she hid it behind the mask of command that he was beginning to realize was her shield, he gave up the fight. Not the fight against the geth that had infiltrated Eden Prime and turned its paradise into a nightmare, but rather the internal battle he'd been waging against his attraction to this woman. She was a soldier, his commanding officer, and he was Alliance to the core. He knew every reason why he shouldn't look at her like the attractive woman she was, and if looks alone had been the only draw, he might have been able to ignore it in favor of the rules. _

_Oh, she was certainly a beautiful woman... Tall, only a few inches shorter than he, with a body that managed to be muscular yet still feminine. She was built like an athlete, a swimmer, with no spare fat or bulk. She was curvy, but not in the way of the asari strippers that graced every porn vid that human males like him had watched from the first moment that puberty's hormones had made them realize the difference between male and female could be entertaining. She wore her fiery red hair regulation short in a bob that ended at her chin, but the cut did nothing to diminish its appeal. Her hair was straight and fell over her face in a graceful wave that made him want to touch it, to see if it was really as soft and silky as it seemed. When she had met his eyes and he had seen the color of hers, it had made him want to brush the hair back from her face to get an even better look. Eyes that deep an emerald green were rare, he couldn't remember ever seeing that shade on another human, but they were only part of what made her face so breathtaking. High cheekbones and a generous mouth added to the perfection. When she had blushed when he caught her staring – and noted the interest she had taken in him almost casually – he had seen that she had the clear white skin of a true redhead. If she wasn't so clearly all soldier, her face might have made her seem delicate. _

_Still, even with all that, he might have been able to resist her charm. It didn't help that he had been looking forward to meeting her from the moment he had been told that their XO would be the famous Commander Shepard. He had followed her career since the events on Elysium with near hero-worship. The idea that any one person, much less a young human biotic, had been able to find the strength to hold off batarian pirates and slavers long enough for the Alliance to rescue the unsuspecting tourists was outrageous enough. The fact that she had accomplished it with minimal ammo, very little support, and with almost no casualties redefined heroic. He had taken leave to be in the audience when she received her Star of Terra in a flashy ceremony, though his seat had been far back in the auditorium and he hadn't been able to see much. What he had seen was humility... the very set of her shoulders and her walk when she was called to the stage to receive the award had told him that she hadn't received the honor as her due, but rather with pleased surprise. He had liked her all the more for it._

_It had been the desire to finally put a face to the name he'd been following for years that had sent him to her side to offer assistance at the lockers when she had joined the crew last night, but he hadn't been prepared for the effect that face had on him. He had felt the force of his attraction to her like a physical punch to the gut, and he had taken long moments to compose himself. When she had given him the quirky half smile that had indicated both friendship and mocking humor at herself for her own stare, he couldn't help but return it with an open grin of his own. When their hands had met, he had felt the touch rip through him with a shock that he knew hadn't been biotic, but simple human chemistry. Still, he had walked away lecturing himself on the hundreds of reasons she was simply not available to him._

_He might have won the battle if not for that look. That moment of raw emotion they shared, that told him that she wasn't just a fantastic soldier, a great leader, a beautiful woman, but rather, was a human being with a heart big enough to suffer over a man she barely knew, was the last salvo that toppled the wall of his resolve to not get close to Commander Shepard. In that moment, she wasn't Commander Shepard to him anymore. Rather, she was just Shepard (she had told him firmly that she only went by last name or title), and a woman. And he was no longer Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, L2 biotic with legendary control who had fought to keep not just his talents but every aspect of his life under control since a heedless and impulsive act had shown him the monster he could be. Rather, he was just Kaidan, and a man who had found the other half of his soul. He was falling for his commanding officer and gods help him, he couldn't regret it._

"And Nihlus," Shepard filled in with a regretful tone that she couldn't shake. That memory came to her then, and she realized it had been another first for her and Kaidan... The first time he had helped her through a crisis with his simple calm strength...

_By the time they found Nihlus, dead from a single shot to the head, Shepard had fallen completely into the routine of combat and command. She executed her biotics with the ease of long practice, and noted the synchronicity of her new squad with a satisfaction born of too many experiences with the opposite. She was pleased that they had handled the geth opposition with barely a hitch, but the pleasure was entirely cerebral; it was the reaction of a squad leader, not a real emotion. When she stared at the corpse of the turian Spectre, all her carefully constructed compartmentalization had fallen and shock washed over her. This mission had truly not just gone from sugar to shit, but become a nightmare, and she felt a moment of panic._

_She looked up and met the steady whiskey gaze that she hadn't realized she was seeking until she found it, and the panic fled. In those eyes, she saw honest belief, not just in himself and his abilities, or in their squad's competence, but in her. Somehow she knew without words that he trusted her to get them out of this, and in the face of that conviction, she felt her shoulders strengthen with resolve. She couldn't fail them – and not just because he had given her the courage to go on – but because she couldn't let him down. She nodded to him as if they had actually conversed in those precious seconds, lifted her rifle, and led them out. There was new purpose in her steps._

"Guess we've got a lot of people to remember down there..." Kaidan summarized and broke her out of her reverie. "Even if we're not fighting the geth this time."

"Not a lot of people have had my back all this time," she told him in a simple truth that said so much more. "Thanks for always being there."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he answered with a look that said everything.

**#-#-#**

The shuttle deposited them near the dig site moments later and Shepard stepped out and surveyed the surroundings before she moved on. It was strange... not just returning here but seeing the signs of battle and trappings of war juxtaposed against the natural splendor of this idyllic world. Somehow, the setting made this mission all the more ugly, despite its beauty. Perhaps because of it. These people didn't deserve to have their lives disturbed just after they had managed to rebuild them.

"This was a beautiful colony once," she muttered before they moved out.

"People here rebuilt after Saren and the geth moved out, they will again," Kaidan reminded her reassuringly.

"I grew up on ships, so if you lost one, you'd just move to the other," Shepard mused, "But after my time on Earth, I can understand how attached people can become to their homes. They didn't deserve this."

"Nobody does," Liara added. Shepard nodded and moved them out.

They followed the natural path the lay of the land created and walked through a tunnel created by two adjacent buildings. On the other side, the landscape opened back up and provided them with a majestic view atop a nearby cliff. Shepard wandered to the side of the cliff and brought her hand up against her visor to shield her eyes. The serene picture was interrupted by multiple man-made structures and she commented on them.

"Look at that... bits of Prothean tech sticking out of the ground like old bones," she said.

"So, Liara, ever dig up a dinosaur?" Kaidan asked in a voice that was way too casual. Shepard turned and met his eyes and saw the humor in them.

"Of course not," Liara explained in confusion. "Dinosaurs and other fossils would be paleontology. I'm an archaeologist. I study artifacts left by sapient species. The two fields are completely different and-" Liara paused as she noticed Shepard's shoulders shaking in silent laughter. She finally realized the joke was on her. "And you were joking," she finished with a self-deprecating grin.

"Nah," Kaidan said with a good-natured pat to her shoulder and a smile.

They found the elevator leading into the dig site. Liara worked the control panel and the mechanical whir a moment later told them she was retrieving whatever Cerberus had found. As it began its descent, Liara continued to study the terminal.

"Goddess, that doesn't seem possible," she muttered. "It's not a Prothean artifact. It's..." The elevator came to a halt with a clank and they studied the object it held in surprise. For all intents and purposes, displayed on the metal platform was something that looked vaguely like the a coffin. Liara completed her thought, "... a Prothean."

"You mean like the bodies we found back on Illos?" Kaidan wondered, thinking that this 'coffin' resembled the endless array of tubes they had driven through before they talked to the Prothean VI.

"Yes," Liara echoed in confirmation. "But this one is still alive."

"You're right, that doesn't sound possible," Shepard commented. Her world had just tilted a bit. There were few hard truths she'd clung to over the past three years, but some seemed unassailable. Reapers were bad; Protheans died out 50,000 years ago – or were turned into Collectors, who were now just as dead, thanks to her and Kaidan.

"You saw Prothean stasis chambers in the archives on Illos," Liara reminded her. "The only reason those failed was a lack of power." She approached the pod and deployed her omni-tool, studying the results. "Cerberus found this in an underground bunker," she reported. "It still has power. He's been in stasis for the past 50,000 years. Waiting for us," she breathed in wonder. "Think of what we could learn..."

"Most of what I learned from the Prothean beacons was about the end of their civilization," Shepard said. "What can you tell me about their people before?"

"The Prothean Empire spanned the known galaxy," Liara began, in full professor mode, "They uplifted countless other species to help them join the galactic community."

"Uplifted?" Kaidan echoed with an arched brow. "Like when the salarians brought the krogan out of the Stone Age to help them fight the rachni?"

"Yes," Liara confirmed, "It's clear that they prized knowledge, growth, and cooperation with the rest of the galaxy."

"The way you describe them, they sound a lot like the asari," Shepard commented.

"I'm certain I'm coloring their culture with my own perceptions," Liara replied dismissively. "But whatever the Protheans were, finding one alive represents an incredible opportunity."

"Good thing we brought our Prothean expert," Shepard said with a self-congratulatory grin.

"I hope I can help," Liara replied modestly. "If this single Prothean was sent into stasis, he could be the foremost scientist of his time... or perhaps the wisest counselor." She frowned as she studied the data her omni-tool reported. "Hmm. Cerberus damaged the lifepod when they excavated it. The life signs are unstable."

"Then let's get him out of there," Shepard said.

"No, breaking the pod open would kill him," Liara contradicted. "We have to find the command signal that ends the stasis mode. We also need to figure out how to physically open the pod without doing more damage. Cerberus took over the labs nearby to research what they found at the dig site. That's likely our best bet."

As they turned to follow her advice, several Cerberus shuttles flew in overhead with reinforcements.

"There they are!" Liara cried.

Shepard motioned the squad into cover. She may not know anything about reviving the last Prothean, but she did know combat. She led them into battle with grim determination.

**#-#-#**

They picked through several pockets of Cerberus resistance and explored multiple dwellings in the encampment before they finally found a locked door. Kaidan stepped forward to hack it, thinking this finally looked promising. The device gave way fairly quickly and he stepped aside to allow Shepard to take point again. The lab was small, barely enough room for the three of them to huddle inside, and featured just a large terminal. He watched as Shepard approached the console warily and pressed the button to activate it. He was immediately distracted by the display on the monitor and didn't notice her reaction at first. He glanced away from the confusing garbled static and saw with rising panic that Shepard had frozen in place, her eyes locked on the display but mesmerized, unseeing. He felt another memory – this one not a fond one - wash over him...

_The beacon was fascinating, nearly magnetic, and Kaidan couldn't prevent himself from stepping closer. He didn't stop to consider in those seconds that they were among the first to see this ancient technology in action, he simply couldn't resist the pull. He stared in wonder as it the beam of energy seemed to speak to him and he stretched out a hand, desperate to get closer. He felt a firm yank on his shoulders and it shook him out of his reverie. He was on the ground, stunned, a moment later, and his wonder turned to horror as he saw Shepard, trapped in the same hypnotic draw that he had been. She was too close, the beacon had her firmly in its grasp, and though she struggled, she couldn't move away. He watched, frozen in shock, as the force of the beacon lifted her, suspending her off the ground in its powerful hold. He sprang to motion, reaching for her, trying to save her, but Ashley spoke sharply, stalling his action._

_He still didn't know, all these years later, how long the Prothean device had held Shepard in its sinister hold while he stood helpless and afraid. It could have been seconds, or hours, but he was sure his heart had stopped and he hadn't breathed through the whole process. When she finally fell limp to the ground and the beacon exploded in a fiery show of sparks, he had rushed to her side. He was a field medic, and he knew how to read the indicators on his hud that told him she was alive, and breathing, but he had still ripped his gauntlets off and reached to check her pulse with bare hands. The low tech diagnostic had been entirely superfluous in the face of the technology the Alliance equipment had provided them, and entirely necessary to calm his own racing heart._

_Once he had physically reassured himself that she was alive and stable, he had lifted her carefully and slung her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. He had noted, somewhere beneath his swirling emotions, that she was lighter than he had expected after seeing her in action. Her power in combat made her seem larger than life, and the contrast of her limp form over his shoulder now sent his heart racing in panic again. He turned to Ashley, who led them out to the rendezvous point as if she were in command. He didn't mind, he was grateful that she had assumed the lead. Right then, he had too many concerns to worry about chain of command. He needed to get Shepard – and he didn't stop to question that he had started thinking of her as simply that in the privacy of his own brain – back to safety. He'd worry about the rest later._

Shepard gasped as the static on the screen came to an end finally. She was shaking and bent over slightly to get her bearings. Kaidan placed both hands on her shoulders and studied her with concern, but she recovered quickly. She stood and squared her shoulders and Kaidan dropped his hands.

"I think I know how to open the lifepod," she reported, and her voice was steady, which further relieved Kaidan.

"You understood that?" Liara asked with surprise.

"You didn't?" Shepard questioned and there was surprise in her voice too.

"All we saw was static," Kaidan reported.

Liara nodded. "Cerberus was trying to make sense of it... without success," she added. "The Prothean cipher you received on Feros... it lets you see the images as a Prothean would... and to understand their language," she guessed.

"Good to know it has some use still," Shepard replied a bit grimly.

Kaidan completely understood... he had seen her suffer enough recurring nightmares thanks to the Prothean devices permanently altering her brain. The soldier in him understood that she was strong and that they needed the information. The man in him just wanted to shield her from further trauma.

"We still need to find the signal they used to activate the stasis mode," Liara reminded her, and Kaidan knew that meant another harrowing encounter with Prothean tech. He sighed in resignation as Shepard led them back out into the camp to resume the search. Nothing would stop her from completing this mission, despite the potential danger. And nothing would stop him from worrying about her while she did.

**#-#-#**

A Cerberus shuttle deposited another wave of enemies on them before they had explored another building. They went back into combat, and worked together to eliminate the threat. They found another locked door on the other side of the camp, but not before Cerberus attacked again. Once they were clear, Kaidan stepped forward to hack the lock, and braced himself when he saw a console similar to the first lab's. When Shepard activated it, he didn't take his eyes off her to study the incomprehensible display, rather he kept his gaze trained on her and on the readout of her vital signs on his hud. Liara placed a gentle hand on his arm and interrupted his concerned observation.

"I used to watch her too, you know," Liara said softly as they watched the Prothean memories draw Shepard in again. "As if she were a sun, and I was a planet drawn into her orbit. I couldn't look away."

"She does have that affect on people," Kaidan turned to her and replied with an affectionate chuckle.

"I was so young, so naïve," Liara went on with a soft sigh. "And she rode to my rescue like some conquering hero from the old legends." She looked a little sheepish when she added, "Oh, I know you were there, too, and Wrex... But I only saw her."

"You don't have to explain, Liara, I was much the same way," Kaidan admitted. "She has something about her. It's part of what has made her such a great leader."

"Yes," Liara agreed readily. "But I was young, like I said... I took that quality as something much more personal. I convinced myself I was in love with her."

Kaidan knew this story – at least part of it. He had watched Liara's eyes light up when Shepard entered the room, watched her follow Shepard with those eyes, and seen her rush to offer help like an eager suitor would offer flowers. Strangely, he had never felt jealous, perhaps because while he completely understood Liara's interest, he knew Shepard didn't. The one time he had mentioned it, she had looked at him with such confusion, he had immediately changed the subject.

"She could have made it so uncomfortable, so awkward for me," Liara went on. "When I finally told her of my interest I mean. Instead, she was gentle and kind. She simply told me that her interests lay elsewhere." Liara gave him a look that made it clear that she still hadn't been happy to hear that. "I didn't like you for some time after that," she added, confirming his interpretation of the look. "But once I saw the two of you together, especially after Virmire, I couldn't hold on to the resentment anymore. Some things are meant to be, and I believe that's how the two of you are... Not even death could part you."

"Liara..." he began, intending to clear up any lingering issues that may stand between them after her involvement in retrieving his body for Cerberus, but Shepard came back to herself with a gasp and stumble before he could continue. He rushed to steady her, and met Liara's eyes over Shepard's shoulder. The look he saw there told him he needn't worry, and he smiled and nodded. In the end, the bonds of friendship were stronger than old resentments, and today had been the perfect reminder of that.

**#-#-#**

The rest of the mission went by as smoothly as could be expected, although Cerberus tried to make it as difficult for them as possible. When they finally reached the lifepod, Liara used the information Shepard had interpreted to start the process of bringing its occupant out of his stasis. They dug in and made a final stand against Cerberus as the pod did its work. When it was complete, Shepard opened the pod and the last living Prothean emerged. There was a tense standoff, made even more so when Liara had to physically restrain Kaidan as Ashley had once done when the Prothean reached for Shepard and held her immobile like a living version of a beacon. When she emerged unharmed, the Prothean was able to communicate, though he seemed scornful and ill-adjusted. Still, Shepard was able to persuade him to join their cause, and they returned to the Normandy with a new team member. Kaidan and Shepard parted ways once they removed their armor – Shepard to debrief with Hackett and then check in on their new passenger, and Kaidan headed to his 'office' in Starboard Obs to try to make a dent on the endless pile of paperwork the Alliance required, including his own mission report.

He was still hard at work when he heard the knock on the door hours later. He called for his visitor to come in without looking up from his datapad. He did finally turn his head up and smile when he recognized the footsteps approaching him. He'd know Shepard's walk anywhere.

"Hey there," he greeted her as she sat beside him and slung her arm over his shoulder. He kissed her softly when she smiled at him in greeting. "How's our new friend?" he asked her casually, as he studied her face for any sign of fatigue or stress.

"Not very friendly," she replied with a wry grin. She sighed a bit wearily. Kaidan set aside his datapads and shifted so that she was tucked under his arm, she laid her head on his shoulder and continued, "His name is Javik, and much to Liara's dismay, he was a warrior, not a scientist or politician. He doesn't know anything about the Catalyst or the Crucible... and he doesn't believe that we can defeat the Reapers."

"Helpful," Kaidan put in sarcastically.

"Somehow, I think he will be," Shepard mused contemplatively. "I can certainly use his skills in combat... but not just that. The more he told me how I couldn't win, the more determined I was to prove him wrong. It's like his very lack of faith makes me believe in myself all the more."

"That's my girl," Kaidan replied with a chuckle. "Commander Shepard never backs down from a challenge."

"Maybe..." Shepard replied and trailed off, "Or maybe knowing that this amazing culture died at the hands of the Reapers gives me just another reason to fight them. I never want to end up like Javik – knowing that I was the last hope of my people and failed them."

"Well, I don't know the guy, but I do know you," Kaidan said softly. "And what makes you different is what you fight for. You're not in this war just to win... You're in it to save the people you love. That makes you stronger than most."

"I hope so," she said as she kissed him in thanks. "Because I have a feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better. And I'm really tired of Cerberus dogging my heels at every step."

"Yeah," he said and bent for another kiss. "Long day," he added as he sat back and stared out at the stars.

"It was," she agreed softly, "But a good one... You know, going back reminded me of everything... how it all started."

"I guess this war really did begin there," Kaidan replied, but she shook her head against his chest.

"No, I mean how we started," she filled in with a soft smile. "We were so different then in some ways... I remember, even the night before Illos, we were trying to be so careful..."

Kaidan smiled as he read her meaning exactly. "I guess 'this can't change anything' flew out the window five seconds after I said it," he said with a chuckle.

"Since Caleb was conceived that night, I'd say it changed everything," she replied with a laugh of her own.

"Even if that hadn't happened, it would still be true," Kaidan admitted. "The instant I touched you, I changed forever. I couldn't have gone back."

"Yeah..." she responded and sighed.

Shepard knew it was the same for her. That night would always shine brightly in her memory. All their caution and careful dance around regulations were proved futile the moment they gave their feelings free reign and dove into each other in passion... and love. They hadn't admitted it to each other – not that night – but they had each known it, and seen the knowledge reflected in the others eyes.

"Are you done with your paperwork?" she asked him with a yawn.

"No, but it can wait," he said as he drew her to her feet.

They walked out of the room together, arm in arm. When they stepped into the elevator, Kaidan drew her into his arms and kissed her with all the love in his heart. Memories were fine, he thought, but the present was better. And the future... well, they'd worry about that tomorrow.


	14. Fade to Black

_A/N - And finally, I give you Cerberus coup attempt, TTK-style XD... Tons of changes here, some subtle, some huge, but one thing doesn't change, so tissue warning! Obviously, you know things will be different since Kaidan is on the crew, but the other changes... I got really sick and tired of how stupid Shepard is during some of these missions ("C-Sec HQ? What's that?")... I get why it is that way in game, but it would never work in fics... so I had to fix!_

_Thanks so much for your reviews, Gabe97, Meggo929, AirForceBrat, JasielStael, and Lyv... Your feedback keeps me going! To everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, thank you for the gift of your time!_

_All credit for everything ME belongs to Bioware, and I thank them for their amazing efforts! I also thank StoneburntHeart for her incredible beta, support, and general fan-girling!_

* * *

Out of curiosity and determination to prove Javik wrong, Shepard put him on the squad when they reached the planet Utukku to rendezvous with Aralakh Company and search for Wrex's missing scouts. Not even Javik's typically blunt and caustic commentary diminished her joy at their reunion with Grunt, though. Both Kaidan and Shepard spent long moments catching up with their krogan 'son' before they headed off to start their search – and were unceremoniously dumped into the caves by an overbalance of the storage shed they were exploring.

They quickly confirmed the presence of rachni, though after their discovery on Tuchanka, it was hardly surprising. Here, Shepard was glad to find that Javik was as deadly and efficient in combat as she expected, and they quickly worked their way through the Reaper troops and to the central cavern. When she discovered the rachni queen, trapped in the Reaper's horrific chains and begging once again for her freedom, she felt the weight of all four Javik's eyes upon her as she struggled with her decision. In the end, despite her concern for Grunt, the queen was still too valuable a resource to lose, and she ordered Aralakh Company to hold off the Reapers to give her time to escape.

The choice weighed heavily on her shoulders on the way back to the shuttle, and she moved slower than usual, hoping that she hadn't sacrificed yet another friend to this bloody war. Kaidan hovered protectively at her shoulder. He didn't criticize her choice, either in word or action, but she knew he was suffering over the loss of Grunt, too, and that added to her guilt. When they reached the shuttle and heard Grunt call from behind them, they both turned to him with joy. They hurried to help him onto the shuttle, and Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. Once they got back to the Normandy, she could turn Grunt over to Chakwas' skilled hands and feel better about the result of their mission.

When they reached the Normandy, Traynor notified them that the salarian councilor was waiting to speak with Shepard in the com room. She entrusted Grunt to Kaidan and Javik, who headed off to deck 3 to deposit their charge in the med-bay, while Shepard headed to deck 2 to see what Valern wanted. She listened with grim suspicion to the councilor's concerns about the financial oddities of Donnel Udina, and gave her promise to meet with the councilor in person ASAP. Since she wanted to have Grunt transferred to an actual medical facility, the Citadel had been her destination of choice anyway. She stopped at the CIC to plot her course and check in with Joker, then headed down to the med-bay to check on the patient.

**#-#-#**

When they reached the Widow System, Joker called her to the cockpit. She stood from the couch in Starboard Obs, where she and Kaidan had been working, and set her datapads aside to comply. She shrugged at Kaidan's questioning look and headed to the elevator. Once in the cockpit, she overheard Joker communicating with Alliance docking control.

"Alliance control, this is the SSV Normandy, are we cleared to descend?" he called.

Silence was the only reply and she walked up behind his chair. Joker turned to her with a shake of his head and confused look, and she realized this was the reason he had called her.

"Alliance control, this is Normandy, we're headed to bay 1-4, Zakera Ward. Are we cleared to descend?" Joker tried again, with no success. He sent and extremely frustrated look to Shepard, who returned it with a look of confusion.

"What the hell's going on down there?" Joker voiced the question for everyone in the cockpit. "Even if there were a station malfunction, they'd have backups online." He reached for his control console again, muttering, "I've got a bad feeling here. Checking emergency channels." After a brief pause, he must have gotten a reply because Shepard heard him begin a conversation. "Hey, yeah, this is Joker. Uh huh. Yeah, no kidding." Finally, he turned to Shepard and announced, "Commander, there's a communication from Thane. He says it's important. Think you'll want to hear this."

"Put him through," Shepard replied. Joker pressed another button and Thane's voice filled the cockpit a moment later.

"_Shepard, the Citadel is under attack. Cerberus troops are everywhere... and they're in control of the docks."_

"Are you safe?" Shepard asked with concern bleeding into her voice. She had caught up with Thane in the Huerta lobby when she had visited Kaidan after Palaven, but she hadn't seen him since.

"_No," _was the blunt reply and her heart sank, though he added the explanation, _"I had to evade their commandos at the hospital. I'm in a Presidium storefront, but I'm headed to C-Sec headquarters."_

"Why C-Sec?" she questioned, trying to shove aside the growing worry.

"_It's been compromised, and C-Sec's response depends on it,"_ Thane explained. _"As long as Cerberus is holding the headquarters, they have the station."_

"What about the Council?" Shepard asked, almost as an after-thought.

"_There's a Spectre named Bau on the station, when Cerberus attacked, I heard him say he was headed to protect the Council,"_ Thane reported.

"Alright, Joker, get us away from the dock and close to C-Sec HQ," she ordered. "We'll deploy in the shuttle," she called over her shoulder as she headed out of the cockpit. She didn't wait for his response before she called for Kaidan and Garrus to meet her on Deck 5. If she was going to go against Cerberus again, she'd take the two people on board that knew them as well as she did.

**#-#-#**

As Cortez flew them expertly closer to the Zakera Ward landing closest to their target location, Shepard peered at the sight out the open shuttle doors. Although the area was usually bustling with commerce, it now appeared like any warzone. C-Sec officers were pinned down and Cerberus forces had the advantage of both numbers and firepower. They were systematically picking off each of the friendlies. As they hovered over the landing, Shepard glanced to her right and left and saw Kaidan and Garrus perched to follow her out.

"Ok, people, coming in hot!" she called to them. "Get to cover!" and she jumped down the short distance to ground, tucking into a roll on her landing and finding cover herself. She checked again and saw Kaidan and Garrus were safe, too. She nodded and raised her rifle to attack the Cerberus assault trooper engaged with the C-Sec officer directly beyond her cover, and surveyed the battlefield. When she ducked back, she motioned to her squad, prepared to issue orders.

"I need you guys to handle those turrets," she ordered, pointing to the two mechanical enemies set up dead center of the aisle leading to their goal. "I'm going east, to try to flank those guys at the top of the stairs," she continued. "Once the turrets are gone, take out the stragglers and cover me," she finished and saw them nod acknowledgment. It wasn't a terribly creative or involved strategy, but she didn't need one for Kaidan and Garrus. A simple place to start and take it from there would work for a squad that knew and trusted each other as well as they did. She had no doubts they'd succeed, and didn't give any more thought to the issue before she charged the group of Cerberus troopers to the right.

She wasn't wrong, and despite the fact that Cerberus deployed reinforcements throughout the short fight, she and her squad reached the top of the stairs and the familiar figure crouched there with relative ease.

"Shepard!" she heard Bailey cry sharply as she approached him. She motioned to Kaidan who knelt in front of the C-Sec Commander and deployed his omni-tool to perform his field medic duties. As she turned her attention to Bailey, he continued speaking. "I saw those Cerberus troops on you, and I thought you were done for."

"Bailey," she greeted him with a somewhat cocky grin. "You know me better than that!" she admonished him. "What are you doing here?" she added once he grinned back sheepishly.

"Getting my ass shot off trying to retake headquarters," he answered in a typical grumble. "Cerberus took it in the first push. We gotta kick them out of there. Everyone in C-Sec is flying blind without the network." He grunted as Kaidan continued to work on his wound.

"How bad's the situation?" Garrus stepped into his old C-Sec role to question. "Do you know if the Councilors are alive?"

Kaidan stood back and nodded to Shepard that Bailey was as good as he could get him. She offered the man a hand and he took it gratefully. She helped him to his feet before he turned to Garrus to answer his question.

"They split up," he reported. "I'll know more if I can access the terminal inside."

"Can you get us in?" Shepard asked him.

"I'll get the door," Bailey replied as he limped over to the control panel, his hand still against the wound in his side. "If no one interrupts me with a bullet this time," he shot back over his shoulder in an irascible growl that made Shepard grin. Bailey would be just fine.

The door opened seconds later, and Shepard led them through it, guns drawn. The room was clear and she motioned back to Bailey, who walked over to the nearby desk and sat. He began to work at the terminal there.

"Here we go," he muttered. "C-Sec network access, courtesy of Cerberus."

"What can you tell us?" Kaidan asked, looking almost disappointed that he didn't have to hack them into the system.

"Cerberus has control of the main channels, but I'm setting up a new one," Bailey answered. "Without it, our people have no plan and no chance," he added with a shrug. "Hello..." he said when he read something surprising on the terminal after a pause.

"What have you got?" Shepard said as she heard his tone of interest.

"A warning from Councilor Valern," Bailey replied. "He's supposed to be here, meeting with the executor," he added with a glance at Shepard. "Be on guard – the likelihood of betrayal from within is high..." he read off the message with a frown on his face. "Not a lot else. But if he's inside..."

"The Councilor wanted me to come here and meet with him," Shepard reported. "If he was talking to the Executor..."

"Usually that happens when someone big is going to be prosecuted," Bailey added on to her thought. "I guess that someone had Cerberus friends."

"The Councilor did mention Udina," Shepard replied with a frown. "But it's... insane. Udina working with Cerberus? And does he even have that kind of pull?"

"Enough pull to get me a Spectre position," Kaidan pointed out. "And I guess now we know why he did it," he added with a frown of his own.

"You deserve the position or the other Councilors wouldn't have voted for you," Shepard told him to head off any self-doubts. "But why would Cerberus want you to have it?" she asked, not understanding his reasoning.

"What's the one thing the Illusive Man would try to do to delay or undermine you?" Kaidan asked her pointedly.

"Keep us separated," she answered and had an 'aha' moment as she saw his point. "And it almost worked..." she added bitterly.

"Wasn't gonna happen," Kaidan countered with a shake of his head. "That's why you keep winning – he always underestimates you. One way or another, I wasn't leaving your side... You just pointed out that I could do it as a Spectre."

"So we need to get to the councilor and find out what he knows," Shepard replied with a nod.

"The executor's office is a fairly defensible position," Garrus offered. "He could be there still."

"Then we'll head there," Shepard replied with a nod. She turned to head out of the office, but Kaidan placed a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Bailey can you patch us in to your channel?" he asked the C-Sec commander as he opened his omni-tool.

"Good idea," Bailey replied with a nod, and pressed a few buttons on the terminal to establish the link. "There, now we can talk by omni-tool," he told them when it was complete.

Kaidan nodded his thanks and fell into formation. Shepard led them out, deeper into C-Sec headquarters.

**#-#-#**

As they picked through Cerberus forces on the way to the central elevator, Shepard used the link Kaidan had established to the C-Sec channel to update Thane. They learned that he was approaching from the opposite direction, and they planned to rendezvous with him at the executor's office. Bailey provided them with constant updates and feedback from the cameras he was able to monitor. In return, they had to report the unfortunate news that none of his officers had survived the attack. As they pressed on, Shepard noticed the grim set of Garrus' jaw and felt a twinge of guilt that she had brought him on this mission. It couldn't be easy to see people he had once fought beside, some of them friends, meet this fate. The sympathy she felt made her all the more frustrated and determined every time they reached a new pocket of Cerberus troops. She fought with abandon, moving them closer and closer to where they hoped Councilor Valern had found safety.

When they reached the executor's office finally, it was empty except for several corpses.

"Bailey, it looks like they got the executor and two salarian bodyguards," Shepard reported.

"_Damn, alright keep searching,"_ Bailey urged. _"If you don't see the councilor's body, don't count him out yet."_

Shepard turned her head to the wall of windows bordering the councilor's office and saw Kaidan wave her over. She came to stand by his side and looked in the direction he was pointing. The windows looked out over a wide open office below, and she caught the slight movement of one of the desk chairs. Councilor Valern uncloaked and stood beside the desk, looking startled that he had been noticed.

"Found him," she reported to Bailey. "He looks unharmed."

"_Get him somewhere safe,"_ Bailey called back.

As she moved to exit the room and comply with Bailey's request, another motion out the window caught her eye. A man in Cerberus armor jumped down from the ceiling and moved to attack Valern. Shepard motioned Kaidan and Garrus out the room, and broke the glass in front of her with her pistol. She jumped to the floor below and placed herself between the councilor and the would-be assassin. His oriental features were concealed behind a mask, and he wore his long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, she noted. More alarmingly, he wielded a long knife that was reminiscent of the Japanese swords she had read about in her history lessons in one hand and was readying a mass effect field with the other._ A biotic ninja? _she thought with a mental shake of her head. _That was new._ She raised her pistol and pointed it at the intruder.

"Don't even think about it," she warned as the man didn't lower his weapons.

"Shepard, he's going to kill us all," Valern hissed in a loud whisper.

"That remains to be seen," she answered levelly, not taking her eyes off the Cerberus assassin.

"I mean Udina," Valern clarified. "He's staging a coup. He's got the other councilors now – to hand over to Cerberus."

"Three on one, now," Shepard ignored Valern for now and spoke only to the intruder. Kaidan and Garrus took their places beside her, weapons also drawn, illustrating her statement. "It's over," she told the attacker.

"No, now it's fun," the man replied, speaking for the first time in a low, malevolent voice. He shifted slightly, as if to begin his attack, but the sound of a pistol cocking beside his head froze him momentarily. All eyes turned toward the sound and they saw that Thane had joined the standoff and now had his own weapon drawn on the assassin.

After that first moment of surprise, the man sprang into action, attacking Thane with his fists, driving him back and disarming him. The two tussled together while Shepard pushed Valern out of the way and behind cover. She stood, pistol drawn, but she didn't have a shot. She glanced to Garrus and Kaidan and saw her frustration reflected in their eyes. They watched as the two threw each other to the ground and the assassin disappeared before Thane could recover. He was inhumanly fast.

All eyes searched for sight of the enemy, but it was the sound of him drawing his sword from his sheath that gave him away. He uncloaked just to Thane's left with his blade drawn. Thane turned to him, pistol raised and fired off several shots, but the intruder danced around with lightning quick reflexes and dodged them while he closed ground on Thane. He drew his sword back and began to swing it, intending to decapitate his opponent, but Thane ducked under the blow. He recovered and delivered several well-placed kicks and a biotic punch that set the enemy flying back in a skid.

Thane retrieved his pistol from the ground nearby and drew it on the attacker. The two moved toward each other, almost in slow motion as Thane repeatedly fired on the approaching man. The shots bounced harmlessly off his heavily armored opponent. Right before they collided, Thane jumped into the air and delivered another biotic punch to the other man's face as he came down. Unfortunately, that left his torso vulnerable and the assassin took the opening, sliding his sword through Thane's abdomen. He pulled his sword back out with a growl and ran off, as Thane slumped to the ground in a bloody heap.

"Thane!" Shepard cried as she ran to his side.

Kaidan was right beside her, omni-tool deployed. She motioned to Garrus who took up pursuit of the attacker, firing wildly as he ran after him. Shepard and Kaidan rolled Thane to his back. He was still conscious and Shepard sat back on her haunches and held her breath as Kaidan worked. Garrus returned minutes later, shaking his head.

"He escaped on a waiting shuttle," he reported apologetically.

Shepard turned back to Kaidan who just shook his head slightly. Thane caught the grim report, but gasped for breath to speak.

"I have time," he told them. "Catch him."

Shepard shook her head again but Thane coughed and spoke again. "You need to protect the council, Siha," he reminded her gently.

Kaidan placed a hand on her shoulder in silent support of Thane's urging, and Shepard nodded. She stood and squared her shoulders, gathering her resolve. She led them out to find a shuttle to pursue the assassin.

**#-#-#**

Along the way, she updated Bailey on the situation and requested medical help for Thane. He advised them that the Council was being taken to a shuttle pad on the Presidium, so they headed their own shuttle in that direction. The assassin wasn't done ruining Shepard's day, though, and jumped to their car mid-route, and used his blade to stab through their engine, then escaping in a waiting aircar. They crashed to the Presidium far short of their target. Bailey reported that the Council was being ushered to the shuttle pad above Shalimar Plaza, accompanied by Udina. They forced their way through wave upon wave of Cerberus invaders, and Shepard congratulated herself on her squad choice. She regretted the pain Garrus had suffered at his C-Sec friends' deaths, but his tech skills combined with Kaidan's made the fights against armored and barriered opponents much easier than they would have been without. They finally reached the bank of elevators that Bailey advised them would lead to the Council's destination and Shepard stood aside as the guys pried the doors open. They jumped on top of the car and Bailey set it in motion.

"Tell me that assassin hasn't reached the Council," Shepard called to Bailey as they clung to the roof of the elevator car.

"_He's trying, but I'm making his car stop on every floor,"_ Bailey reported drily.

"Nice," Shepard said with an approving grin.

They caught up with the assassin's elevator moments later and shot out the exposed power conduits below it to stop its progress. The delay only served to increase Cerberus' efforts, and they sent a wave of sword-wielding phantoms down to them. They fought them off, though the tight quarters made it tricky.

"_Shepard, bad news,"_ Bailey reported moments later.

"Is there any other kind?" she replied sarcastically.

"_That hit man jumped to another elevator,"_ Bailey told her, ignoring the sarcasm. _"And he's overridden my controls. He's on his way up, I can't stop him."_

"I'll handle it," Shepard growled back.

After dispatching another wave of Cerberus forces, they caught up with the Council's elevator. They jumped to the roof and dodged shots that rang out from below them. The car came to a stop and Shepard opened the hatch on its roof and jumped down. They exited the elevator, weapons drawn, and encountered the rest of the council, escorted by Spectre Jondam Bau. Shepard motioned to Kaidan and Garrus who sealed the doors behind them. They turned back to the Council, all three weapons drawn and trained on the salarian Spectre, who stood his ground and glared at her.

"What is the meaning of this, Shepard?" Bau demanded.

"Shepard's blocking our escape, she's with Cerberus," Udina accused.

"Answer my question, Shepard," Bau said, ignoring Udina for now, but moving into better position in front of the Council.

"You said you believed in me before, Bau," Shepard reminded the other Spectre, "I need you to believe in me again. Spectre Alenko and I are here to protect the Council from Cerberus."

"And yet you stand there with weapons drawn on the people you're trying to protect?" Bau questioned, still suspicious.

Shepard motioned with her hand and Garrus and Kaidan lowered their pistols, though she kept hers drawn.

"We don't have time to negotiate," Shepard growled. "You've been fooled, all of you," she said, speaking to the Council at large. "Udina's behind this attack, Councilor Valern confirmed it."

"Please, you have no proof, you never do," Udina scoffed.

"There were Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us," Shepard said with a wave to indicate the sealed doors. "If you open those doors, they'll kill you all."

"We've mistrusted Shepard before," Tevos stepped in to point out. "And it did not help us."

"We don't have time to debate this," Udina said desperately. "We're dead if we stay out here. I'm overriding the lock," he told them as he began to move toward a nearby control panel.

"I better not regret this," Bau said as he lowered his pistol. "You weren't wrong before, I hope you're not wrong this time," he added threateningly at Shepard, but he stepped aside.

"I'm not," Shepard told him reassuringly.

"Udina, step back from the console," Bau called, training his pistol on the human councilor now.

"To hell with this," Udina growled and went back to his work.

Tevos approached him, grabbing his arm, and he threw her back. She fell to the ground with a squeak. Udina stood over her and drew his pistol.

"Gun!" someone cried and Shepard reacted before she even thought. She turned her pistol and fired, striking Udina in the chest and killing him instantly.

They whirled to face the elevator as the sound of a torch cutting through metal rang out around them.

"The door!" Sparatus called, pointed out the obvious.

They trained their weapons on the portal and seconds later, it opened to reveal Commander Bailey, weapon also at the ready, and several C-Sec officers.

"Bailey?" Shepard questioned in surprise as she lowered her pistol.

"Made it as fast as we could, Shepard," Bailey explained as he also holstered his pistol. "Looks like you, uh, took care of things," he added as he looked beyond her to where Udina lay dead.

"Something's not right," Councilor Tevos broke in to say. "You said Cerberus was targeting us... Where did their soldiers go?"

"Cerberus was right here," Bailey confirmed. "But they beat feet into the Keeper tunnels when they figured out we were coming. Sorry, Councilor," he said with an apologetic shrug to Tevos, "I'll say it plain... Shepard just saved the lot of you."

"Then you have saved my life twice now, Shepard," Sparatus said. "I owe you both a personal debt and one on behalf of Palaven."

"You don't owe me anything, Councilor," Shepard said with a serious look. "Times like these, we all stand together."

"Commander, do you have any idea why the Illusive Man would do this?" Sparatus pressed.

"No I don't," Shepard replied. It had been a question on the top of her mind as well, so she tempered the truth with another one, "But I plan to find out."

Sparatus nodded and Bailey stepped in to order his people to get the Council to safety and begin cleaning the mess. Shepard turned to him and got his attention.

"Thane?" she asked with a worried look.

"They took him to Huerta Memorial," Bailey replied. "Should be safe enough now if you want to go check on him."

Shepard nodded gratefully and motioned the squad out.

**#-#-#**

In the elevator, Kaidan managed to convince Shepard to head to the Normandy first, pointing out in a reasonable tone that she needed to change out of her armor and update Hackett on the coup attempt. She nodded tiredly and didn't argue, which worried him more than anything. She kept the briefing short, though she told him once she left the com room that Anderson had joined in, and that he was forwarding information on the Cerberus assassin. Apparently he had encountered him before. Kaidan's heart lightened for the first time that day when she also related that Anderson had told her that Caleb was still safe and under guard at the orchard.

He followed her back through the airlock and onto the Citadel and noticed the heavy guard stationed everywhere. He nodded in approval. It may be too little, too late, but it was a start. They entered the elevator and headed to the hospital. They walked passed the chaos in the lobby and Kaidan noted almost distantly the sounds of people wailing and suffering. The coup attempt had far-reaching effects, and these people were the most obvious face of that. But right now, his biggest concern was Shepard. She walked slowly, tiredly in front of him and he watched her with a worried eye. He knew despite the good news about Caleb, killing Udina weighed heavy on her shoulders, and he was fairly sure this hospital visit wouldn't have a good ending.

They were stopped in the hall outside the patient rooms by an officious looking doctor. Once he established who they were here to visit, Kaidan saw his guess confirmed by the look on the man's face. Shepard didn't want to hear it, though, and tried to convince the doctor that she could help, could do something for their friend. The kindly man finally just advised her to say her goodbyes and left them outside Thane's door. Kaidan took her hand and they walked in the room together. Thane was huddled on the bed, and his son Kolyat looked up in greeting as they entered.

"Commander Shepard, Commander Alenko," Kolyat nodded to each of them in greeting. "Thank you for coming. I don't know if you remember me," he added almost as an afterthought. "I'm Kolyat Krios, I came to donate blood and... well..." he trailed off as he looked down at his father.

Shepard took the few steps from the door to the bedside, standing opposite Kolyat, while Kaidan stayed by the door. He and Thane had said their goodbyes when the drell visited him when he was in the hospital. They were both realistic and had known that Thane was near the end of his life and that they may not have a chance later. Kaidan knew that Shepard had not made peace with things, though, and although she had known Thane was dying from the moment they had met, she had never accepted that he would actually die. It was her undying hope and dogged determination that both made her the strong leader that she was, and were going to hurt her the most today. All he could do was be there when she needed him.

Kaidan watched Shepard study Thane's reclining form – the drell was sleeping now, it seemed – until Kolyat spoke again and drew her attention back to him.

"He asked to take off his oxygen mask so that he could be comfortable," Kolyat said. "I don't think it will be long now," he added in a gentle voice, though Kaidan saw the words hit Shepard with the force of a physical blow.

"Your father helped me save a lot of lives," Shepard told him in her own gesture of comfort. "I'd like to be here."

"Of course," Kolyat said softly. They turned their attention back to Thane as he stirred on the bed between them.

"Siha, I'm afraid I won't be joining you again," Thane greeted her solemnly. He groaned in obvious pain.

"You've done more than enough, Thane," Shepard said in a low pained tone.

"That assassin should be embarrassed," Thane told her around a fit of coughing. "A terminally ill drell managed to stop him from reaching his target."

"I'll pass the word along," Shepard replied drily.

"There is something I must do before this gets worse," Thane said, visibly struggling with his words.  
"I must-" he cut off in a fit of coughing and Kaidan couldn't help but wince in sympathy.

Thane recovered himself a moment later and began to pray. "Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira whose waves wear down stone and sand-" he broke off again as he coughed and gasped for air, but Kolyat took up the prayer without a beat.

"Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit," Kolyat prayed for his father with his head bent over clasped hands.

"Kolyat... you speak as the priests do," Thane spoke between panting breaths now. "You have been spending time with them." Not even the struggle for air and the rasp in his voice could disguise the pride he felt at that realization.

Kolyat simply nodded to confirm his father's words and moved to the other side of the bed. He approached Shepard and proffered a book in his hands.

"I brought a prayer book, Commander," he explained. "Would you care to join me?"

Kaidan saw Shepard nod painfully and cast her eyes down on the book. Kolyat began, as she studied Thane's still form.

"Kalahira, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention," he read.

Shepard turned to him when he paused and waited for her to continue. He pointed to the next line and Kaidan heard her voice ring out, reverence in her tone.

"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve," she recited. "Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you, as she was to me."

Kaidan felt emotion swamp him as he realized the meaning of the words, and the last gift their wise friend had given her, but he was distracted by a last gasp from the bed. Thane coughed gently one more time and then his head rolled peacefully away from them. He was dead. He watched Shepard stretch out a gentle, shaking hand and close Thane's eyes. She swiped at the tears on her face before she turned back to Kolyat with a questioning look.

"Kolyat, why did the last verse say she?" she asked in a broken voice.

"The prayer was not for him, Commander," Kolyat explained in a gentle voice. "He had already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish was for you."

Shepard turned back to Thane, and her shoulders slumped visibly. "Goodbye, Thane," she whispered in a pained voice. "You won't be alone for long."

Kaidan stepped forward and gathered her to him. He nodded their goodbyes to Kolyat and left the drell to say his own goodbyes. He ushered Shepard out of the room and back to the Normandy without speaking. She didn't speak or protest the entire way, which only made his worry increase with every step.

**#-#-#**

Once they reached the loft, Kaidan drew Shepard to the seating area opposite their bed and encouraged her to sit. He took a seat beside her and pulled both her hands into his. She finally met his eyes and saw that his were filled with concern. She sighed and tried to make an effort, though she knew it was weak.

"I'm ok," she told him and mentally cringed at the broken sound of her voice.

"You're not," he countered firmly, "And that's ok. I know how much Thane meant to you, and it wasn't an easy day before that," he added softly.

"No, it wasn't..." she agreed. There were so many thoughts crowding her right now, she wanted nothing more than to shut them all off and just not feel, just keep moving forward and not dwell. "I keep going over everything... Cerberus, Udina..." she couldn't bear to add Thane to that list so she only did it mentally. She knew Kaidan heard it as if she had said their friend's name aloud.

"There's time for all of that," Kaidan said and drew her into his arms. "But I think you need to rest first."

"Hackett wants us to go to the Far Rim, something is up with the quarians and geth," she told him from the shelter of his arms, and she sounded as tired as she was.

"They've been fighting for 300 years, they'll wait a few days," Kaidan told her firmly.

"What are you saying?" she asked as she drew back to stare at his face in confusion.

"I'm saying, we should take a few days shore leave, give yourself time to rest... and heal," he said with a steady look. When she shook her head to protest, he continued speaking as if she hadn't. "You know Bailey could use some extra hands restoring order, and we could all use a break. This war isn't going to be won tomorrow, Shepard... It's a marathon, not a sprint. And losing Thane, so soon after Mordin... you need to take some time," he finished, nearly pleading with her.

She held his eyes for several long moments and saw the stress and worry in them. She might want to keep going, to not let recent events have a chance to sink to her, but he was showing signs of wear, too, and for him, she'd do anything. She finally nodded, giving silent acceptance of his suggestion. He drew her back in his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll send a ship-wide message in the morning," he told her as he held her. "I'm sure everyone else will be happy for some shore leave, too."

Shepard laughed a bit and closed her eyes. "I'm sure they will," she murmured in agreement before she fell silent and let his comfort wash over her.


	15. All Together Now

_A/N - Sorry to break the 'Friday smut' pattern here... I hadn't actually planned it that way, it just worked out before, but this time the smut chapter won't happen til Monday's post :-/ please forgive me! Many of you asked if 'shore leave' meant Citadel DLC - sorry to give that impression... this isn't that, technically! Although I will be handling Citadel DLC in this fic, but not in the traditional sense ;-) you'll see! _

_Thanks for your reviews, Gabe97, AirForceBrat, Meggo929, and Lyv! To everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thank you as well for the feedback of your time! My life has been crazy lately (3 kids, end of the school year, etc.) so I can fully appreciate how valuable time is, and that you spend yours on my fic is so very humbling :-)_

_As always, I tip my hat and give all due credit to Bioware for creating all things ME and giving me this amazing playground! And to StoneburntHeart, my incredible beta - I am so grateful for everything! She makes all this possible, folks!_

* * *

By the morning, Shepard embraced the idea of shore leave as if it were her own, and was very much looking forward to the rest. Then, she quickly realized two things in the first few moments after Kaidan sent the ship-wide message. First, apparently she wasn't the only one looking forward to some time off - judging by the number of requests, offers, and solicitations of her time that were stacking up her inbox. And second, if she accepted each one of them, she'd literally have no time off. She scanned back through the list and realized nearly every crew member was represented, including Javik. In fact, there was only one name other than Kaidan's missing. Since Kaidan was currently taking his turn in the shower, that omission didn't surprise her. The other caused her concern, though, and she'd investigate after breakfast. But first, she needed to RSVP all the invitations. She set about doing that and cheerily advised Kaidan that he'd be alone in offering help to Bailey when he emerged from his shower. He just shrugged and gave her a light kiss on the way to the closet to extract clothes. She literally did a double-take and closed her omni-tool. She could send her replies _after_ she enjoyed the show.

**#-#-#**

After breakfast, she headed down to Deck 5 and found the person she wanted to speak with hard at work on the Kodiak. Steve Cortez had been the only crew member who hadn't requested a moment of her time while they were on the Citadel... even Kaidan had casually mentioned over breakfast that he knew a place that still served steak, if she was in the mood. She took that as a broad hint that he'd like to take her out, but since he hadn't done more than hint, she'd just smiled. In the meantime, she was curious why Steve was hard at work while they were on shore leave.

"Everything ok with the shuttle?" she asked him casually as she walked up to him.

"Just double-checking the inertia dampener coils. Can be twitchy in these UT-47s," Cortez replied without even looking up from his work. "But don't worry. This bird's been rock solid."

"I'm more worried about you, Lieutenant," Shepard commented. "You're always down here working your ass off, don't you ever take time off?"

"I get my sleep, Commander," Cortez replied, not really addressing her point. "Flying tired is nearly worse than flying drunk."

"And what about your waking hours?" she pressed. "Any R&R?"

"I need to keep myself busy," Cortez answered evasively. "Otherwise, well, too much time to think."

Shepard nodded. She understood that – in fact that had been close to her exact thoughts last night. Luckily, Kaidan had put his foot down and insisted, and now she was glad. Maybe she could do the same for Cortez.

"I appreciate the dedication, but I don't want to see you burn yourself out," she told him, hoping he'd take a broad hint.

"I know my limits," he protested stubbornly. "I wouldn't take a chance with your life."

"So, before this war, you must have done something to relax," Shepard commented, all too casual. He really reminded her of herself, and not all of the ways were good.

"Sure," he returned, equally casual. "I remember back when the Hawking was based out of Arcturus and I was just a fighter jock. There was this observation deck overlooking the main flight paths. You could watch every ship taxi in and out. When I was alone, I'd turn off the auditory emulators and just watch them drift by in silence."

"You know there are views like that here on the Citadel," Shepard remarked. "We're on shore leave," she added pointedly. "Maybe it's time to check them out, clear your head."

"I don't know. Maybe," Cortez answered, non-committal and nonplussed under the weight of her stare.

"Take some time off on the Citadel, Steve," Shepard persisted, making it just short of an order, then adding, "As a favor to me," to up the stakes.

"If you put it that way, how can I say no?" Cortez replied with a hint of a smile.

"You can't," Shepard replied with a smile of her own. She left him to finish his task, satisfied with hers.

**#-#-#**

Shepard stepped out of the airlock and onto the Citadel for the next item on her agenda. Of all the requests she had received, Miranda Lawson's seemed both the most like business, and the highest priority. She looked around the crowded docking bay for a glimpse of the familiar white and black catsuit and found her lounging in a corner. She approached and greeted her with a smile, though Miranda's was far less cheerful.

"Miranda, it's good to see you," Shepard told the woman who had been once her enemy and proved to be, if not a friend, at least a loyal comrade.

"You, too, Shepard," Miranda replied, observing the pleasantries, though she seemed distracted. "How are Kaidan and your son?"

"Kaidan is here on the Normandy," Shepard replied, "And Caleb is back on Earth, but he's safe for now. Something tells me you didn't want to meet to catch up on old times, though. What's up, Miranda?"

"It's Oriana," Miranda replied, looking around them to make sure they couldn't be overheard. There were many people nearby, but they were all too involved in their own business to mind theirs. Miranda sighed and continued, "I haven't heard from her in a while, I'm getting worried."

"I thought we made sure she was safe?" Shepard questioned with growing alarm. Miranda had seen Oriana off with her family after they had rescued her from her father's kidnap attempt. The girl should be hidden away.

"It's probably nothing," Miranda replied, obviously trying to downplay things. "But I just know that my father is involved."

"Your father?" Shepard echoed. "What aren't you telling me, Miranda?"

"I don't know anything definite yet," Miranda replied evasively. "But if he's done anything to her, I'll kill him."

"What can I do to help?" Shepard asked, realizing that Miranda wasn't going to give any more details.

"Nothing yet," Miranda answered, and it wasn't an evasion this time. "Besides, you have enough on your plate, with the coup attempt and all."

"Yeah, with Kai Leng's help, Udina nearly took control of the Citadel," Shepard nearly growled.

"Kai Leng?" Miranda echoed the name in alarm. "That bastard's still alive?"

"I take it you know him?" Shepard said, not completely surprised given Miranda's previous ties to Cerberus.

"I used to," Miranda confirmed. "This changes things, I'll need to be more careful," she added and it was almost as if she were speaking to herself. "I need to go, talk to more people," she said to Shepard.

"Ok, Miranda, just... be careful," she said lamely.

"I can't promise that, Shepard, could you?" Miranda replied pointedly.

"No, I couldn't," Shepard answered honestly with a resigned sigh. She watched as Miranda disappeared in the crowd.

Shepard turned to head to elevator, but a familiar figure caught her attention and she turned back. Steve Cortez was exiting the Normandy's airlock, apparently having decided to take her 'advice'. She changed direction and moved into step with him. They stopped at the end of the observation deck and turned to gaze at the peaceful view.

"You took my suggestion," Shepard broke the silence to say.

"Glad I did," Cortez replied, still watching the ships outside. "Even with the chaos of the refugees, seeing so many ships in flight is comforting. Gets me thinking."

They watched in companionable silence for another few moments until this time Cortez was the one to break it.

"Hey, a turian frigate," he pointed to the ship he identified out the window. "I think that's the PFS Havincaw."

"What's one turian warship doing at the Citadel?" Shepard wondered aloud.

"Looking for dry dock, I'd bet," Cortex answered as he peered to study the ship. "She's seen battle, look at the waver in her drive core emissions. Alone, limping, looking for a haven," he seemed to mean more than the ship they were studying. "Maybe it would have been better to just go down fighting, like their families back home."

"Are you talking about the turians or yourself?" Shepard asked him.

"I should have been there. With Robert," Cortez replied. It wasn't the answer to her question – and it was.

"But you weren't," she said softly. "You're alive – and that's a good thing."

"Maybe so," he replied, though he didn't sound convinced.

"The lives of future generations rest on those turian's shoulders," Shepard said, then added, "On our shoulders. Nobody is giving up. Not those turians. Not me. Not you."

"If anyone can pull this all together, it's you," Cortez replied, respect coloring his voice. "And I'm with you."

"Is that an Alliance cruiser?" Shepard asked as she noticed a new ship on the horizon. "What's she doing here?"

"That's the SSV London, decommissioned years ago," Cortez identified the ship easily. "Look, no guns," he added with a point of his fingers. "Refugees must have salvaged her from a ship yard. Geneva-class cruisers always had eezo cores like granite."

"People find a way to survive," Shepard commented.

"Do whatever it takes to see another day?" Cortez asked. He sighed and slumped a bit. "I've got to let go. For real this time."

"You never let go, Steve, not completely," Shepard said, a lesson she had learned the hard way. "But you need to forgive yourself for going on."

"Like you did?" Cortez replied with an insight that didn't surprise her.

"It wasn't easy," she confirmed softly. "I had my son, and that made it better... But it wasn't easy."

"Not all of us can be as lucky as you," Cortez said sadly.

"No, you're right," Shepard agreed. "I am lucky, and I don't forget that. But that doesn't change the two years I had to learn to live without him."

Cortex nodded and thought a moment. "The refugees here have put up a memorial wall. They leave mementos of lost loved ones. I was thinking maybe..." his voice trailed off but she realized what he was thinking.

"When you're ready," Shepard said, with a gentle hand to his arm.

"When I'm ready," Cortez echoed with a small smile.

Shepard nodded and left him to his ships.

**#-#-#**

After meeting Javik on the Presidium and having lunch with Liara, Shepard's next destination was the Purgatory bar. Many members of her crew – present and former – had requested a drink with her, so she figured she may as well kill multiple birds with the same stone. She spent some time catching up with Jack at one of the tables near the crowded dance floor, shared a dance with the psychotic biotic, and then caught up with EDI as well before she wandered over to the lower bar. James and Joker waited for her there. She waved to Joker and greeted James first.

"Hey, Commander," James returned her greeting cheerily. "Nice to see you down here in the dirt with us grunts."

"You don't think I like getting dirty?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms and tensing.

"Whoa now, come on," Vega said in response to her aggressive stance. "I didn't mean anything by it, Commander."

"Uh huh," she replied, unconvinced. "What did you mean?"

"You see those marines over there?" James said with a gesture of his head in the direction of a group of uniformed people. "None of them officers, just soldiers fighting the war."

"Yeah?" Shepard prompted.

"They've been buying me drinks all day," James replied. "You know why? Same reason they got all serious and quiet when you walked in."

"You don't seem intimated by me in the least," Shepard countered. "In fact, you could use a little more deference," she added pointedly.

"Heh, sure," James said with a shrug and a laugh. "But I've fought with you, I've seen you in action. Now, don't get me wrong, you're good... Probably one of the best."

"Probably?" Shepard echoed with an arched brow.

James just smiled and nodded. "But I know you're human," he continued. "Just like me."

"But not them?" Shepard asked with a wave at the other marines.

"Nope," James confirmed firmly. "Hell, I still remember the say they made you the first human Spectre. I watched it on the vids, just like all of them. But to them, you're still larger than life."

"I've seen a hell of a lot," Shepard conceded. "But I'm still a soldier, I'm still one of them."

"Sure," James agreed easily. "But they don't know you. They just know what they've been told. Listen... you want them to see you're one of us, right?"

"Maybe," Shepard replied neutrally, not sure where he was going.

"Then buy them a round," James dared her.

"I like the way you think, Lieutenant," Shepard replied with a grin and wave of her hand. She saw him stare at her in shock for just a second before he reacted.

He put his hand to his mouth and called loudly over the crowd. "_Compadres_! Hey... the commander would like you to have a drink. On her!" He brought his hands together in front of him with a swift downward motion of his muscled arms. "So here's to us!"

"Who's like us?" marines around them saluted and called.

"Damn few!" Shepard picked up the traditional toast she hadn't heard since the old days with salute of her own. "And they're all dead!"

Some of the marines approached and shook her hand. "It's an honor meeting you, Commander," they told her.

"Thanks," she replied casually. "But we're all in this together. Every one of us has our part to play."

"True enough. Cheers," another marine replied with a nod.

"Cheers," Shepard answered with an answering nod.

"Not bad, Lola," James praised when the marines wandered back to their side of the bar. "I was hoping you'd know that one."

"Thanks for the warning," Shepard replied sarcastically.

"Thanks for the drink," James said and turned back to the bar.

Shepard wandered over to where Joker was leaning against the end of the bar.

"You're not gonna ask me to buy you drinks or relive Basic, are you?" she greeted him.

"Hah, if you're offering..." Joker replied with a grin. He turned his attention back to the crowd of dancers before she replied. "Look at this," he commented with mock excitement. "All it took was a Cerberus attack on the Citadel to get folks around here to pay attention to the war."

"How is this any different than normal?" Shepard asked in confusion.

"Can't you see the desperation?" Joker asked. "This isn't happy dancing. This is 'forget my problems' dancing. Look at the arms," he said with a wave of his hand toward the crowd of dancers. "If a guy waves his arms like that, he's worrying about a lot more than looking stupid on the dance floor."

"That's surprisingly observant," Shepard commented with a grin. She could see his point now... if she squinted. A lot.

"I've had time to watch a lot of dancing from the sidelines," Joker explained. "Speaking of which..."

"Dancing?" Shepard asked to clarify.

"Watching from the sidelines," Joker corrected. "What do you think about me and EDI?"

Shepard promised herself there and then to never tell Joker about the dream she'd once had... and how she and Kaidan had laughed over it. Instead, she simply replied casually, "Why not?"

"Because I could break a bone from just some light over-the-clothes action?" Joker retorted sarcastically.

He was afraid, she realized, and of more than the physical damage EDI might inflict. Touchy subject, and one that she wasn't sure how to advise him on. Starting a relationship with Kaidan had been a huge risk once, and they had both suffered for it. Would she do it again? Hell yes. Should she advise one of her best friends to go for it, too? Probably.

"That's always a risk," she dismissed his comment. "But then, so are the Reapers."

"Yeah, I wasn't planning on dating Harbinger," Joker well, joked. And the mental image made Shepard cringe before she laughed a bit.

"You know what I mean," she said. "If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow, what would you regret?"

"Getting a shattered pelvis," Joker replied. "And a broken heart. Such a stupid idea," he muttered.

"If you could be out there on the dance floor right now, would you be waving your arms?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah," Joker replied simply.

"Sounds like you've got bigger things to worry about than looking stupid," Shepard told him pointedly.

"Yeah, guess I do," Joker agreed, and his tone was much lighter. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." he added as he turned to go. Shepard smiled as she watched him walk away... to find EDI, she was sure.

**#-#-#**

Shepard was on her way out of Purgatory when another familiar figure flagged her down. She changed course and approached the asari warily. Although she knew Kaidan had a distinct dislike for the mercenary 'queen', and she suspected she knew why, Shepard had always been more practical. She didn't like Aria, or approve of her, but she recognized power and influence and she knew that sometimes you had to live in the gray to accomplish your goals, no matter how worthy. She stood by as Aria completed her 'business' with C-Sec, by showing that she had Councilor Tevos on her leash. She felt a little professional jealousy for that... she wished Tevos was that amenable to her, it would have made her life much easier. Once the C-Sec officer left, suitably chastised, Aria turned her attention to Shepard.

"Enjoy the show, Shepard?" she asked as if that had been exactly what it was.

"I guess there's one rule on the Citadel, huh?" Shepard said as she took a seat beside Aria.

"I guess so," Aria replied neutrally. "I hate this place, so sickeningly uptight."

"Then why are you here?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Cerberus stole Omega from me," Aria spat bitterly. "The Illusive Man is now squarely at the top of my shit list. Something I believe we have in common..."

"The Reapers are at the top of my shit list," Shepard corrected. "But I'm no fan of the Illusive Man's either."

"Then I believe we can once again be of use to each other," Aria said with satisfaction.

"Cut to the chase, Aria," Shepard said with a resigned sigh. "What do you want?"

"I want what is rightfully mine," Aria retorted with a low growl. "I want Omega back."

"And why do I care?" Shepard asked with a shrug. "The Terminus Systems aren't my concern right now."

"Because you need every gun you can get in this war," Aria proclaimed. "And I can give you them... mercenaries, eezo, credits... enough to help tilt the balance of this war."

"If I help you raid Omega and steal it back?" Shepard clarified the bargain Aria was offering.

"Would it be so distasteful to deal Cerberus another loss?" Aria asked archly. "We both get what we want..."

"I'm in the middle of a war here, Aria," Shepard pointed out impatiently.

"A war you can't win without allies," Aria replied blandly. "Think about it... If you decide you're ready to make the tough decisions, meet my man here," she added, accessing her omni-tool and pressing a few buttons.

Shepard heard the beep her own tool, indicating Aria had transmitted the information. She nodded and stood. "I'll let you know... but right now, I'm late for my next appointment," she said in parting.

Aria simply gave her a bland stare as she left. Shepard realized Aria may be the only person in the galaxy that gave as good a stare as she did.

**#-#-#**

Shepard completed her next order of business fairly quickly... Diana Allers had approached her during her first visit to the Citadel with the ridiculous request that she be allowed to travel with the Normandy during the war and broadcast her news vids from the ship. In no reality was Shepard willing to compromise Alliance regs and security by allowing a reporter on board a warship... especially one dressed like a prostitute, but she knew the value of good press during a war. She had compromised with Allers and told her she'd be available for interviews any time she was on the Citadel. Allers had been one of the first to send a message when she saw the Normandy docked, and Shepard held up her end of the bargain, though not necessarily graciously. In her career, the news media had been both friend and foe, and she had learned to deal with probing questions with diplomacy and aplomb. Didn't mean she enjoyed it. Still, both she and Allers walked away happy from the interview, and she crossed it off her list.

She was nearly to the airlock and back on the Normandy when her omni-tool beeped a new incoming message. She stopped in her tracks and opened the tool. She read the message with growing irritation and changed direction. She headed back to the elevator to add yet another task to her busy day of leave.

**#-#-#**

When she arrived at the noodle house in Zakera Ward several minutes later, the sheepish looking krogan sitting outside under the surveillance of the irritated C-Sec officer who had messaged her told her all she needed to know. She took a deep breath and reached for patience, wondering if she would have to deal with situations like these when Caleb was a headstrong teenager and mentally nominated Kaidan for that duty. Whether he liked it or not. She sighed and turned to Grunt.

"So... Grunt, anything you want to tell me about?" she asked tiredly.

"Ah, this clown wants to take me to lockup," Grunt replied, looking both sheepish and defiant at the same time, which was impressive. "I figured I'd have them give you a call, straighten this out."

"Commander Shepard," the turian C-Sec officer guarding him stepped in to add, "I apologize for the intrusion. This krogan insisted we contact you."

"It's ok," Shepard said with a tight smile. She wasn't irritated with him, after all. "I'll vouch for him. I'll sign any paperwork you have, Officer."

"Yes, ma'am," the turian replied with a relieved look and handed over the datapad the he was holding.

As she began to read the list of charges on the datapad, her brows flew up. She looked up from the datapad and met Grunt's eyes again.

"What happened?" she said with a sigh.

"I don't know. Drank a bit. Left the hospital. Broke a few windows," Grunt replied evasively.

"But... you were in the hospital recovering from the rachni encounter," Shepard said pointedly. Shouldn't he still be there, not drinking and vandalizing?

"Yeah. Didn't feel like sticking around," Grunt replied.

"Most people stick around long enough to you know, heal," she said with irritation and concern.

"Most people aren't me," Grunt stated as if that answered everything. Which she guessed it did. Time to move on.

"And why is C-Sec here?" she asked, dropping the question of his health.

"Guess they're precious about some broken glass," Grunt rumbled.

"Before I sign you out... Everybody walked away from this in one piece, right?" Shepard asked him. She really was beginning to feel like a mother with her teenage son. She wondered if she should thank Grunt for the practice, or just lock Caleb up once he turned thirteen.

"Sure, yeah, everybody's fine," Grunt said reassuringly. "Hospital's seen better days, though," he mumbled almost as an afterthought.

"Right. Tell me about the windows," Shepard prompted with another sigh. Officer Johnson handed her a new datapad and she went back to signing while Grunt spoke.

"A couple of squadmates broke me out for my birthday," he explained. "Tried lowering me down the side of the building on a rope. It didn't work out," he concluded vaguely with a small innocent smile.

"It's your birthday?" Shepard questioned in surprise. That was news to her.

"No," Grunt answered with a scowl. "I'm tank-bred, remember?" He gave her a 'you should know this already' look before he added, "Anyway, we got some pictures on the krogan memorial..."

_The krogan memorial?_ she echoed in her head. "Not the one on the Presidium?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," he said with a pleased nod, as if he were impressed she knew of it. "When C-Sec got there, they were mad," he continued his tale. He paused a moment and thought then added, "Or maybe they were mad about their car being on fire. I can't remember..."

Shepard turned to glance sharply at the C-Sec aircar that was still smoldering to her left. She had wondered about it, but been afraid to ask. Now...

"Why was it on fire?" she asked, very much afraid she wasn't going to like his answer.

"I threw my bottle of ryncol at it," Grunt answered simply. "Pretty strong stuff – went up like a bonfire," he added with a small laugh. Shepard glared at him. He gave a shrug and continued, "The C-Sec guys jumped out. Then I figured they didn't want it. So I took it." He turned his gaze to the C-Sec officer and glared at the turian. "We didn't get very far before they shut us down. Sprayed us down with riot foam. Didn't work so well on me," he added with another laugh, turning back to her.

"And why's that?" she asked in resignation. It was like... well, a car accident. You just couldn't look away.

"Cause I was on fire, you know, from the car?" Grunt explained, once again looking at her like she was slow. "Come on, Shepard, keep up," he grumbled.

"Right. Sorry," she replied, suitably chastised. "So how did they catch you?"

"Got hungry. Bought some noodles," Grunt answered with a shrug.

Ok. Fair enough. But time to do some damage control. She gave her krogan son her best mom glare... which she figured was one step up from Commander Shepard stare.

"Grunt, you apologize to the nice man for setting his car on fire," she told him sternly, and mentally sent prayers to any deity listening that she'd never have to repeat those words.

"Fine," Grunt replied and his shoulders slumped a bit. "I'm sorry for setting your car on fire," he repeated as told. Shepard continued to glare until he added, "And I won't do it again."

"Good," Shepard praised, then she turned back to the C-Sec officer. "Officer, I can pay for any damages that may have occurred," she told the turian.

"That's what you've been signing for, Commander," he told her. "You're lucky, krogan. Don't let me catch you up here again," he added to Grunt as he took the signed datapads back and walked away.

"You won't, thank you, Officer," Shepard said to his retreating back. She turned back to Grunt and studied him for a moment then sighed and gave in. He was really irresistible, and she had a soft spot for him.

"So, how were those noodles?" she asked him casually.

"A little spicy," Grunt replied deadpan.

She laughed. "I love you, Grunt," she told him.

"Heh, heh, heh," he laughed as they walked away.

**#-#-#**

She finally reached Normandy with only one task remaining on her list, and she knew it was probably going to be the most difficult one yet. On the heels of that thought, she queried EDI for Kaidan's location, and was told he was in his office. She headed there first. She hadn't seen him since breakfast, and she frankly needed a few moments to center herself for the last item on her agenda. She walked through the door to Starboard Obs and immediately felt better when he looked up from his work and smiled at her.

"Hey, there," he greeted as she walked to his side and leaned over for a kiss of greeting.

"Hey, Kaidan," she answered. "I haven't seen you all day..." she added with regret coloring her voice.

He tugged her down to sit beside him and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I know, I missed you," he said in reply. "Busy day?"

"For shore leave, it felt a lot like work," she told him with a laugh. "You?"

"Hmmm," he answered neutrally. He met her eyes and held them. "We don't have to do this tonight if you're tired," he offered.

"Yes, we really do," she replied. He nodded, and she knew he hadn't expected another answer. "Ready?" she asked as she stood and held out her hand. He simply stood and took her hand and they walked out of the room together.

**#-#-#**

When the crew began to gather at EDI's announcement, Shepard dropped Kaidan's hand and drew the mask of command around her. She wished she could allow herself that simple comfort to get through this, but she needed to be Commander Shepard, leader not Shepard, woman in love. It was what was expected of her, and it was what she owed to the people they were here to honor. She watched with satisfaction as the elevator opened and deposited the last of her invited guests into the small area across from it. She nodded a nonverbal greeting to Kolyat Krios – the only non-crew she had asked to be here for this ceremony. She wasn't sure how the drell handled grief and loss, but she had extended the invitation in the hopes that he would appreciate the gesture. Apparently, she was right.

Steve handed her the two small pieces of metal she had asked him to prepare for her, and she accepted them gratefully. She turned to face the wall across from the elevator, already decorated with so many other names. Of all the retrofits the Alliance had commissioned once she turned the Normandy SR2 over to them, the memorial wall might seem like the most frivolous, but any soldier would argue that. A place to remember and honor your dead was a crucial part of any military vessel... it gave every member of the crew not only a place to grieve, to say goodbye, but it was a tangible reminder of the sacrifices made and the reason they fought. On a psychological level, this unobtrusive piece of real estate decorated with simple silver plaques with names stamped in black was every bit as important to the Normandy as the tantalus drive core.

Shepard let her eyes fall on each name already on the wall. Each one brought a memory, a face, a glimpse of the past. Some were more poignant than others; some she had known better. But every single name on that wall represented a person, and she gave each their fair due. As always when she studied the wall, she let her eyes skip over the names that she knew would hurt the most... Richard L. Jenkins, the first of so many sacrifices to the horror of the Reapers, and the first to shatter the last of her innocence. Charles Pressly, a man that she had not always agreed with, but never failed to respect. Ashley Williams, and here, her heart clenched all over again at the thought that Ashley had been the hardest lesson... That sometimes, you couldn't save them all, and sometimes, even the right choices had negative consequences. She sent a silent thanks to the woman that had been more than an honored member of her crew. Ashley had been her friend, and she missed her still.

She turned to the people gathered behind her and met each of their eyes silently before she began to speak. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"No war is ever fought without cost," she began. "The highest price we can pay is losing people who are not just coworkers, or crew, but truly friends and family. Today, we remember two men who sacrificed themselves in the most honorable way possible. We gather here in their memory, and we immortalize them for all time in our own simple way. But we don't need a piece of metal on this wall to remember Mordin Solus, we have the genophage cure to do that for us. And we have the memory in our hearts to remind us that he was truly a friend. We don't need this plaque to know that Thane Krios was a good man, the Citadel is safe and secure today because of him. We don't _need_ the reminders, but yet we place their names on this wall today, and we do it in honor. And every time we see them amongst our other friends and comrades, let it serve as tangible proof of why we are fighting this war. This is the price we pay, and we do it not without regret, but we do it willingly. Because for every name on this wall, there are millions of others that these friends have saved. And that is their true memorial."

She turned from the small crowd and silence fell over the group as placed first Mordin's and then Thane's name on the wall of Normandy crew who had died in service. She stood back and let her eyes fall on the new names, and she realized then that seeing them there would deliver a pain as sharp as Ashley, perhaps more so, because they were fresh. She didn't kid herself that they would be last... she knew the war was far from over, but a tiny flame of hope still burned in her heart that she wouldn't have to add another friend's name to this wall. She turned back to the people gathered and joined them, silently giving the floor to anyone who wanted to speak. As members of the crew stepped forward one by one to share their own words of thanks, memory, and love, she felt Kaidan reach for her hand. She took it and intertwined their fingers. Finally, she could allow herself the comfort of his touch. And that was a tribute of its own.


	16. When A Man Loves A Woman

_A/N - Sorry for the late post today (but at least it's a double post, yay!) I wrote this chapter (well, at least part of it) about a month ago, and I'm so glad that it's finally time to share! Needless to say, this will include the TTK version of the Apollo date, hope you enjoy! The first part of the chapter is dedicated to Meggo929 - ask and you shall receive!_

_Thanks for your reviews Gabe97, AirForceBrat, Meggo929, Lyv, and Saiyuri007 (hi there and welcome!)... To everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thank you too! Hope you're enjoying!_

_All due credit for the incredible world of ME belongs to Bioware, and I only seek to pay tribute with my fics... As always, thanks so much to StoneburntHeart, my awesome beta, for all her help, support, and encouragement!_

* * *

Shepard woke the next morning to the smell of hot coffee and the sight of Kaidan's whiskey colored eyes smiling at her. She yawned and stretched and took the coffee with a grateful smile and a kiss of thanks. It was rare for him to wake before her. He wasn't lazy - her internal alarm was just trained from her entire life aboard ships. She sipped her coffee and gave him a questioning look.

He understood the query without the benefit of words. He shrugged and went back to dressing while he explained casually, "Decided to get an early start today - there's still tons to do."

She nodded and went back to her coffee, though she kept her eyes on him. She must have been staring because he called her name twice before she realized he was speaking. She turned slightly guilty eyes back to his.

"Busy day for you, too?" he repeated his question.

"Not as much as yesterday," she said with a sigh. "But I need to head to the refugee camp this morning and take care of some loose ends," she added.

"Do you think you'll be free by lunch?" he asked... too casually.

"I could be, with the right incentive..." she replied with a teasing smile.

He finished buttoning his shirt before he leaned over and brought his lips close to hers. He met her eyes and held them as he spoke against her mouth. "Commander Shepard, would you like to have lunch with me today?" he asked in a much more formal way than their position required. He waited until she nodded before he met her lips in the promised kiss. When he pulled back, she was short of breath, but she still added her verbal confirmation to seal the deal.

"Commander Alenko, I'd be honored," she told him with a smile.

He kissed her again, quite thoroughly, before he stood to leave with regret. She was still smiling.

**#-#-#**

Shepard finished her work in the refugee camp just in time for lunch, and was preparing to head to the restaurant in the Presidium that Kaidan had mentioned when she very nearly ran right into her best friend. He was standing just beside the elevator, apparently waiting for her.

"Garrus?" she questioned in surprise.

"I thought we'd do something fun," he said casually, and seemed to be so eager to show her what he meant that she nodded and gave in.

She sent a quick message to Kaidan telling him she'd been delayed, and received an answering reply of 'no problem.' She looked at Garrus and questioned, "What did you have in mind?"

He ushered her to a nearby aircar and took the driver's seat. "Something that doesn't involve fighting Reapers," he said vaguely.

"I don't think they've conquered the bar yet," Shepard said with a shrug.

"I already scoped it out," Garrus replied with the turian version of a grin. "But then I thought: If this is our last day alive, I'd actually like to remember it."

"Good idea," Shepard said with a nod. "So?"

"So I had an idea..." Garrus said as he started the aircar.

"Where are we going?" Shepard asked as he expertly piloted the car between traffic and structures on the Presidium airway.

"Somewhere we're not supposed to," Garrus replied.

"Some things never change, do they?" Shepard said with a laugh.

"Ever had that one thing you always wanted to do before you died, Shepard?" Garrus asked her.

"Too busy trying to live," she answered him drily. "What's yours?"

"The whole time I worked at C-Sec, I'd stare up at the top of the Presidium and say to myself: I want to go up there," Garrus told her. "But I never did. There were 137 regulations telling me I couldn't."

"So you got them changed?" Shepard asked doubtfully.

"No," Garrus answered. "Now I just don't give a damn." He landed the car on one of the narrow scaffolds right at the top of the Presidium. "Figured it was time to do something stupid, just for the hell of it," he explained as they climbed out of the car. "Might be the last chance we ever get."

They walked to the edge of the ledge and looked down together. "A little busier than I imagined," Garrus commented.

"How bout a dive in the pool?" Shepard dared him with a grin.

He looked down over the ledge to the water... Far, far below them. He stepped back and turned to her with a nearly sick look. "You obviously haven't seen turians swim," he told her. "It's a lot of flailing and splashing interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning."

"Yeah, you're right," she teased. "I'd just have to save your ass again."

"It'd make up for all the times I pulled your ass out of the fire," Garrus shot back. "Noveria, Feros, Illos... We've had a hell of a ride, haven't we, Shepard?"

He was truly one of her best friends in the galaxy, and he never failed to surprise her with his sometimes unexpected and touching sentimentality. She felt a memory wash over her, of a bright sunny day in Vancouver, BC months ago...

_They had bribed Caleb with promises of treats to get him to sit still during the car ride from the orchard to the city. It was a relatively short ride to them, but interminably long to a two-and-a-half year old, and despite their bribes, Caleb was bustling with toddler energy when the car stopped and they emerged outside the hotel where Garrus was staying. He danced around his parents while they extricated themselves from the vehicle and didn't come to a stop until he ran right into a pair of extremely long legs. Shepard and Kaidan watched in amusement as their son's eyes traveled the long distance up to study the face of his obstacle and then he turned to them with wonder in his eyes._

"_Mama, Daddy, Uncle Grus a giant!" he squealed with delight, easily recognizing the stranger from the descriptions his parents had given him and the omni-tool photos they had shown him. Shepard laughed a bit as she remembered reading 'Jack and the Beanstalk' to her son before bed. Apparently he had remembered. He clapped his hands as Garrus laughed over the mangling of his name and stooped so that he was closer to Caleb's eye level._

"_You two didn't tell me I'd be meeting a mighty midget," Garrus' words were to Shepard and Kaidan, but he kept his eyes on Caleb. Even hunched over, he still dwarfed the child, but Caleb was fearless._

"_Not midget!" he protested. "Caleb!" he corrected his turian uncle and opened his arms for a hug. Garrus chuckled and wrapped his arms gently around the boy._

"_Caleb it is, then, little man," he said when the boy pulled back from his hug. "And I'm pleased to meet you."_

"_Please meet you," Caleb mumbled, stumbling a bit over the unfamiliar phrase._

_Garrus laughed and stood, taking his nephew's hand. "That'll do. Now let's see if we can find something good for little humans in this place," he said as he led them into the hotel._

_By the time they left later that day, Caleb had a toy model of Garrus' Widow and wouldn't put it down and Shepard was wiping tears from her eyes._

"Times like these, you know who your real friends are," Shepard told Garrus now. "They're not the ones running around looking for an escape route. They're the ones who stand at your side through the worst of it, and the ones that you take home to meet your kid. And most of all, they never give up on you. I'm lucky I can say I know someone like that," she added with feeling.

"So am I," Garrus agreed readily. "And I plan to spoil my nephew a lot more once we're done with this war."

"Sounds like a plan," Shepard said with a nod.

"Now, before we head back," Garrus said as he walked a short distance away to where she saw he had tucked two sniper rifles and some empty bottles. "There is one thing we're going to settle once and for all..." He picked up one of the rifles and studied it before he turned to her and added, "I'm not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. Just saying some of us know how to make it dance." He tossed her the rifle and she caught it easily. "So, let's find out who's really the best shot," he said with an air of challenge.

"There are a few people in the galaxy who have seen me in action, Garrus," she told him breezily. "They seemed impressed."

"Yeah, but I've actually seen you dance, Shepard," Garrus said as he lifted a bottle and prepared to throw it. "No comment."

"Alright, Vakarian," Shepard replied as she flipped the safety off the rifle. "You're going down."

"And don't worry," Garrus taunted as he readied his throw. "I loaded it with practice slugs for when you miss."

He threw the bottle in a high arcing swing, she lifted the rifle, sighted it and shot the bottle just as it fell from its arc. It shattered with a satisfying tinkle of glass.

"That was an easy one," Garrus said, unimpressed. "Let you build up your confidence." He turned and retrieved the other rifle as he added, "Long range, I wrote the book. Nobody alive can do this, not even Commander Shepard." He handed her a bottle and told her, "Give me a tough one."

She reached her arm back and flung the bottle out as far and fast as she could. Garrus easily shattered it before it even fell from its arc.

"Hah, I said a tough one," he taunted with a laugh.

She picked the rifle back up, and glared at him. "Step aside," she told him, challenge clear in the set of her shoulders. He reached as far back as he could, preparing a massive throw, and she turned to him and nodded, "Do it," she ordered.

He flung the bottle out and she sighted it, but just before she took her shot, she purposely over-corrected the arc and missed wide. She set the rifle down and shrugged.

"I'm Garrus Vakarian, and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel," Garrus proclaimed in a carrying voice.

Shepard glared at him, but smiled internally. He was so thrilled, she was glad she had missed on purpose. And if he didn't suspect, she'd never tell him.

"It's windy up here," she played her part with an excuse.

"Think I'm going to erect a monument right here – bronze this gun so the whole galaxy knows," Garrus continued his happy rant.

"That you're the king of the bottle shooters?" Shepard teased him. "Glad you're around, Garrus, you never know when the bottles might revolt."

Garrus just laughed at her show of being a poor loser. He gestured to the car and she climbed back in with a secret smile.

**#-#-#**

As Shepard neared the open-air Apollo Cafe she saw Kaidan seated at a table just at the edge of the first terrace before she even entered the restaurant's enclosure. She waved away the salarian waiter who approached to offer assistance and hurried over to join her 'date'. She seated herself across from him and glanced over to see he was still studying the menu datapad, though she knew he was aware of her arrival.

"Surprised this place can still get supplies for a menu like this," Kaidan greeted her casually, eyes still on the menu.

"Maybe its better if we don't ask how – or where," she replied with a laugh and picked up her own menu.

"I'm glad we're taking the time to do this," Kaidan said as he put his menu aside and took her hand. He met her eyes with an easy smile and added, "We could use a sanity check."

"Things have been... crazy," she replied with a soft smile. Trust Kaidan to try to find a small moment of comfort in all the hell they'd endured.

"You know, Shepard..." He began then he broke off and glanced away. When he brought his whiskey eyes back to her green ones, they were solemn and serious, and she sat forward in concern. Before she could speak – could ask him what was wrong, he went on, "When I was hurt on Mars, my life flashed before my eyes. Both of them," he corrected with a soft laugh, "And I realized just how much you – and Caleb – are my life. We don't take enough moments like these to just enjoy each other."

"What's going on?" Shepard asked, concern still evident. He wasn't a 'dwell on the past' kind of guy, not really. Not since Cerberus had taken his life – and given it back.

"Just thinking about the Reapers, and how things have been so far... And how things could be in the future," he winced a bit and moved on from that thought, "I want things settled. I want to make this real," he finished and waited expectantly for her to respond.

"It is real, Kaidan..." Shepard replied, feeling confused now. "I love you, I always have... It doesn't get more real than that."

Kaidan took both her hands in his now and sat forward. He met her eyes again and this time it was love shining in his. "Shepard, I love you too... I've been meaning to do this for the longest time. Trying to find exactly the right moment, the perfect setting. But what this war has shown me is that every time with you is the right one, and any place you are is perfect."

Kaidan slid out of his chair, still holding both her hands, and went to one knee beside her. He pulled the ring out of his pocket – the one he had taken with him to Vancouver that fateful day, hoping that she'd finally see him – the one he'd carried with him every day since then hoping to find just the right time to ask. He held her hands in one of his own and displayed the ring between his thumb and forefinger of the other. It was his mother's ring, the one his father had given her when he'd proposed. He offered it now to the woman he loved more than his next breath and asked, simply, "Shepard, will you marry me?"

Shepard found that she had to remind herself to breathe – she had held her breath through the entire short speech - but she didn't have to think. The answer to his question came as easily as loving him once she had the breath to give it, "Oh, Kaidan, yes... a thousand times yes."

He gave her the biggest smile she thought she had ever seen from him and placed the ring on the appropriate finger – it fit perfectly but that didn't surprise her. She was sure it was a beautiful ring, but she didn't spare it a glance... not yet. Instead she drew him close and pulled him in for a kiss that was more than likely not suited to their setting, but since Commander Shepard didn't get engaged every day, she figured the gawkers could just gawk. She was having her first kiss with her fiance.

When they pulled back finally they were both smiling. "I love you," they said in unison as their eyes met. Kaidan kept her right hand in his and seated himself across from her again, and she took that moment to study her new engagement ring. It was a simple setting... a central round-cut diamond lay flat on the white metal band, surrounded by a loose collection of smaller diamonds that gave the overall effect of a star cluster. Although she was far from an expert, Shepard judged the metal to be platinum. It was a beautiful ring, but not necessarily delicate or fussy, and it suited her perfectly. She wasn't surprised – Kaidan knew her better than any person in the galaxy.

He watched her study the ring with nervous anxiety. Finally, when he couldn't stand the tension anymore, he asked, "Do you like it? It was my mother's but I had it altered for you," he explained.

"It's perfect," she told him with such emphasis all his nerves left him and he just grinned.

"No, you are," he told her, though he knew he was being cheesy. Her humorous grin confirmed it a second later. "Ah, here's our waiter now," he said as the salarian appeared to rescue him from his embarrassment.

"Waiter?" Shepard asked, genuinely confused. "We're still going to order?" She lowered her voice as the salarian was just steps from their table, "I thought we'd head back to the Normandy, _now_," she added the 'now' to leave no doubt as to what she'd planned.

"We'll head back to the Normandy later," Kaidan replied as he lifted his hand in a gesture to ask the waiter to give them a minute. The salarian nodded but hovered nearby. "Now, we're on a date. And we have..." he opened his omni-tool to check the time, "an hour before we need to be at our next destination."

"Next destination?" she asked with arched brows. "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out in an hour," he said evasively and picked his menu back up. "Now, do you think they have a steak sandwich and good Canadian lager?"

"More likely to have varren burger and batarian shard wine," she grumbled and then she relented and smiled. He was having a good time, and he was right – they never got a chance to do this. She'd indulge him. "What did you call it?" she asked as she studied her own menu. "A sanity check?"

"A sanity check," he confirmed as he waved the salarian back over.

**#-#-#**

"Kaidan," Shepard said with a hint of impatience as they navigated what felt like the fiftieth corridor since they'd left the Apollo cafe and headed off to a part of the Presidium she'd never explored. "Where in the galaxy are you taking me?" she finally asked as they turned another corner.

"Right here," he said as he opened the first door on the right and ushered her through it with his hand on the small of her back.

She paused just inside the door and took in the surroundings. The room was small with a reception desk guarding another larger set of doors and several chairs arranged in seating groups in the corners. It looked frankly like an outer office in any business. She turned to him in confusion and finally read the small plaque on the door he still held open and saw the faces of her crew (and friends) huddled beyond it and confusion turned to suspicion.

"Kaidan, where are we?" she asked haltingly.

"The Citadel version of the justice of the peace," he confirmed her suspicions quietly.

"For fuck's sake, Kaidan," Shepard growled in irritation, "When you said 'Will you marry me?' did you forget something? Like the 'now'?" her voiced was raised in hysteria now and she noted several of the crew – James and Joker namely – grinning. They were on her list for later. After she beat the shit out of her new fiance.

"I wanted to surprise you," Kaidan told her calmly. He was completely unruffled – and that sent her anger up another notch. "And I didn't want to give you a chance to find a hundred reasons to put this off," he told her with a pointed look. He paused and sighed before he risked life and limb and took her hands and drew her to a nearby seating group and urged her to sit. She went – reluctantly.

"Maybe this wasn't the best way to do this, and for that I'm sorry. But I meant what I said earlier. I want things settled, I want them to be real. We've done everything else in the most crazy way possible – we broke every reg in the book to be together... we went through hell and back... I've already died and come back... we survived a suicide mission... we have a son together... Isn't it time to do just one thing right? For me, Shepard? Will you do this?"

And trust Kaidan to find the one thing that would convince her, she thought, as the righteous anger and indignation left her completely in the space of just that one speech. She softened, relaxed, and extracted one of her hands from his and placed it against his cheek. She kissed his lips softly and then she pulled back and nodded. She heard the crew cheer behind them and saw him grin before he drew her in for another kiss. When they parted, he took both her hands again and helped her stand. Another thought struck her and she tugged back on his hand to resist.

"I can't get married like this," she said, indicating her Alliance-issue BDUs that had been fine to wear for their casual date but now seemed vastly inappropriate.

"I took care of it," Kaidan assured her and motioned Liara forward. Her friend approached, wearing a soft smile and carrying a garment bag in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other.

She nodded in relief and began to follow Liara who headed toward the small hallway to the left of the reception desk. Shepard thought of another thing before she made it two steps and turned back in a panic. "Wait, what about rings, and license?" she asked.

Kaidan smiled and motioned Joker and... wait, Commander Bailey? Yeah that was Commander Bailey... forward. Joker opened his hand and displayed two matching platinum rings on his flat palm and Commander Bailey waved an official-looking datapad.

"I took care of them," Kaidan announced with a grin.

"Ok," she relented and turned back to Liara but then she froze one more time. Her heart literally stopped with panic before she forced herself to breathe and turned back. This time, she motioned Kaidan over to her with a frantic wave and when he came with still another grin, she took his arm and pulled him into the nearest room off the hallway. It turned out to be a closet, but since it was big enough for both of them to stand and there was enough light to see his face, she didn't care.

"I can't do this," she said sadly.

"Why now, Shepard?" he asked, genuinely confused. He really thought he had covered all his bases.

She nearly growled in frustration before she answered obliquely. "What's the one thing you promised me you'd _never_ do again?" she hissed.

"Ah," he said as understanding dawned. In their entire relationship, she'd only ever extracted that promise over one thing, "But, Shepard, its just one time - for our wedding... I don't really understand why you hate-"

"Stop!" she cried and placed both her hands over his mouth to make sure he had to obey. "You swore to me that you would _never_ say my first name again. I don't know how to get through wedding vows without first names... I can't do this," she pronounced and she was nearly in tears.

"Hey," he said softly, and tilted her chin up so she would meet his eyes. "I don't understand it, but I won't break my promise. But I _will_ marry you today. Go with Liara and get ready, I'll talk to Bailey, ok?"

She nodded and blinked away the tears. She opened the door without further comment and followed Liara into the room designated for them.

**#-#-#**

Half an hour later, Shepard was dressed in an elegant yet simple tea-length white silk chiffon sheath that hugged her body then floated out gracefully over strappy heels that would make her equal in height to Kaidan. She entered the back of the courtroom on Garrus' arm – he was giving her away - but she kept her eyes locked on Kaidan. He stood at the end of the aisle, also elegantly dressed in a black suit. He looked amazing to her less than impartial gaze. He was also her hero. Ten minutes after she had entered the dressing room with Liara, Bailey had knocked discreetly at the door and stood with his back turned – though she had been completely dressed and only doing her hair and makeup – while he mumbled that as long as the official records listed her proper name, she could call herself whatever she liked during the ceremony itself then exited before she could even thank him.

She began the slow walk up the short aisle and finally swung her eyes to take in the rest of the people gathered in the courtroom. Seated in the gallery on either side of the aisle were various crew, including Dr. Chakwas, Engineer Adams, Traynor, Cortez, and Javik. Standing to the right of Kaidan on a raised dais was Joker, acting as best man, and James. On the left side of the dais, Liara and EDI waited for her with smiles wreathing their faces. To her complete surprise, Commander Bailey waited front and center in the officiant role.

Garrus delivered her to her groom and placed her hand in Kaidan's and they shared a smile that communicated love, understanding, and even some nerves, before they both turned and faced Bailey.

Bailey lifted the datapad in his hand and began to read.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the unity – oh shit," Shepard grinned like a fool when Bailey realized he had read the script wrong and cursed. Instead of ruining it, she thought the curse and blush that spread across the taciturn man's face just added that special touch to her wedding.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the _union_ of Shepard and Kaidan in marriage," Bailey began with special emphasis on the correct word. "In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife."

"No other human ties are more tender and no other vows more important than those you are about to take. Both of you come to this day with the deep realization that the contract of marriage is inviolable as are all of its obligations and responsibilities," Bailey continued smoothly, reading the words they had chosen for their ceremony in a series of frantic omni-tool messages while they were cloistered with their respective attendants. "You may now share your vows," he told them and they turned from him and to each other. Their eyes met and Kaidan nodded to Shepard, reminding her to go first.

"Kaidan," she began to recite the words she had memorized earlier while she kept her eyes locked on his whiskey colored ones, "Today I take you as my husband, for you are already my love, my life, my honor, the father of my son, and my friend. I promise to always cherish what is between us and to never forget what we have endured to come together. I will honor your support and respect your opinion. I will remain true to you and I promise never to speak the word 'Horizon' in your presence again," she grinned as he couldn't hold back a surprised laugh and the guests joined in a moment later, then she sobered and continued, "And most of all, I will love you with all that I am until the end of time," she finished, using the change from the traditional 'until death shall we part' as they had decided.

"Shepard," Kaidan began then cleared his throat around the lump of emotion that had formed there, "Today I take you as my wife... You are my love, my joy, my courage, the mother of my son, and my passion. You are my hero. I promise to always remember the pain we suffered to get here today, for it enhances my happiness that you are finally mine. I will fight with my last breath to protect you from our enemies and follow you to the ends of the galaxy to stand beside you and serve you. In those moments, and in every one between, I will never forget the bond between us, and I will take every action in its honor. And most of all," he paused and used gentle fingertips to brush away a lone tear from her cheek, "I will love you with all that I am until the end of time."

Bailey called for Joker to present the rings and he handed the first one to Shepard. As she slid it on his finger, she spoke the promise they had chosen:

"I give you this ring, as I give to you all that I am, and accept from you, all that you are."

Bailey handed Kaidan the matching ring and he slid it on her finger with the same words.

Rings exchanged, they turned back to Bailey as he completed the simple ceremony.

"By my authority as a representative of the Citadel Council's authority, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride," he finished with a smile of relief.

Kaidan pulled Shepard into his arms and lowered his mouth to hers in a union that was as sacred to them as the vows they had just exchanged. Neither of them would ever know how long the kiss was, time had stopped for them in that instant, but they finally broke apart when Garrus' discreet cough reminded them that there were others in the room. They turned and faced their guests with matching smiles.

**#-#-#**

Kaidan was still replaying every moment of the beautiful ceremony in his head as he watched his new wife dance with her best friend hours later. After the wedding, they had adjourned back to the Apollo cafe, which was now decorated and set up for their makeshift reception. After all the appropriate toasts and food, someone had found a datapad filled with music recordings from around the galaxy and declared it was time to dance. Shepard had groaned and protested when Garrus insisted he should get to dance with the bride, but Kaidan had seen the secret smile she gave when the turian's back was turned and nodded in approval. He had done well, and he had one more surprise for her, though he wanted to give her just a bit more time to celebrate with their guests first. Plus, he thought it was only fair that he should dance with his own bride.

He stood and approached Shepard and Garrus and tapped their friend on the shoulder in a traditional human gesture he wasn't sure Garrus would recognize. The turian swiveled his head and met Kaidan's gaze and Kaidan added the, "May I cut in?" to make it official. Garrus nodded and literally bowed away from them. Kaidan took his new wife in his arms and found the rhythm of the music – an asari battle march unless he was mistaken - but he didn't really mind. The music wasn't important – woman in his arms was.

"Did you enjoy our sanity check, Mrs. Alenko?" he asked, addressing her with one of few titles she informed the crowd at large upon arrival at the reception she would accept. She was Shepard, Commander Shepard, or Mrs. Alenko she told their friends and crew sternly... no other combinations were allowed.

"I did, very much, Mr. Alenko," she smirked back at him. He shrugged off the slight misnomer – it was only fair. "Thank you for doing this, Kaidan," she added softly. She met his mouth for a light kiss of that was thanks as well.

When they drew back, he steered her off the dance floor. At her raised brow, he explained, "I'm not quite done yet," and took her hand to lead her to the room Commander Bailey had set aside in the nearby C-Sec office. Once they closed the door behind them, he pressed a button on the control panel in the center console and the lights in the room dimmed. Another button press and a familiar blue glow began to fill the room. Again Shepard turned questioning eyes to him but then the sight of their son, held in his grandparents arms, took shape and her eyes were riveted to his holo.

"Caleb," she breathed with tears in her eyes and voice. "Oh, baby..." Kaidan tightened his arms around her and smiled at their son.

"Mama, no cry!" Caleb told her with sympathetic tears in his own eyes. "Daddy, make Mama happy!" he ordered to Kaidan.

"She is happy, son," Kaidan explained with a soft smile. "She just misses you so much."

"Miss you, too, Mama... and Daddy," Caleb answered earnestly. "Come home soon?" he asked hopefully.

"As soon as we can," Shepard finally found her voice and promised solemnly. "I promise, baby."

"Not baby! Caleb!" he pronounced, pointing at his own chest.

"Right, Caleb," Shepard corrected with a grin. "Guess you're my little man now, huh?"

"Mom, Dad," Kaidan finally greeted his parents who had stood patiently while they caught up with Caleb.

"Congratulations, you two," his mother told him with a happy smile, "We're sorry that we missed it."

"Sorry for doing it without you," Kaidan replied a little sheepishly. "But there are plenty of vids I promise."

"Not at all, son," his dad replied waving off the concern. "You take your time where you can."

Kaidan nodded and thought that was it – exactly – you took what you could when and where you could.

They spent another thirty minutes catching up with their family until their allotted time was up. When they said goodbye again, the tears that had threatened during the entire conference were streaming down Shepard's cheeks. Kaidan pulled her closer in his arms, concerned. He wiped away the tears and said, "I'm so sorry, I thought it would make you happy..."

"Oh, Kaidan," she said with a sigh. "You did. This has been the happiest day of my life."

She leaned back and kissed him, and this time, the kiss deepened into something more than than the other kisses all day had been. When they finally broke apart for breath, Kaidan leaned his forehead against hers and spoke conspiratorially to her.

"It's not over yet, you know..." he told her with suggestion in his voice.

"Is it _finally_ time to get back to the Normandy?" she asked.

"That it is, Mrs. Alenko," he replied as he swept her into his arms in a bridal carry.

**#-#-#**

Shepard was laughing as he swept her into their cabin in the loft long moments later – still carrying her in the traditional hold. It was so Kaidan... and he had explained that he needed to carry her across every important threshold on the Citadel and the Normandy. She was willing to let him carry her to ends of the galaxy if he wanted, after all that he had done for her today. She honestly thought he couldn't surprise her any more, until he set her on her feet just inside her cabin door and proved her wrong. She gasped as she saw their cabin was lit by literally hundreds of tiny white leds surrounded by glass containers and placed on every available surface in a parody of the candles they represented. Open flame was completely prohibited on a starship, but he had recreated the effect regardless. It was breathtaking and she paused a moment to stare before she turned to him in wonder.

"Just how did you pull this all off?" she asked him slowly. "I mean, I get the Garrus taking me up to the top of the Presidium distraction to get everyone in place for the wedding, but all of this...?" she trailed off in amazement as he gently guided her down the steps.

"I had a lot of help," he shrugged modestly. "Turns out, there are more than a few romantics on board. They all volunteered." He guided her to a seat on the couch opposite their bed and took a moment to shed his jacket before he joined her.

"Wow, I had no idea..." she breathed, still in genuine awe.

She was so busy gaping at the décor – in addition to the 'candles' she saw that someone had artfully placed red and white roses in individual vases around the room. The color combination and the sheer volume should have been gaudy, but someone had truly had an artistic eye and instead the effect was romantic and magical. She took the object that Kaidan handed her without paying attention and it took another long second for her to realize what she was holding.

"Champagne?" she asked in wonder as she brought the crystal flute to her lips and the bubbles of the wine tickled her nose.

"It is traditional," he reminded her with a smile as he clinked his glass to hers. They each took a long sip. It was heavenly.

He leaned in and took her mouth in a kiss enhanced by the taste of the wine, and all the more sweet for it, but he pulled after a minute despite her protest. He reached for a dish on the low table beside them and pulled the cover off it with a flourish. He picked the dish up and offered it to her.

"Are those..." she trailed off, her eyes wide, as she reached for the food on the dish.

"Chocolate-covered strawberries," he confirmed, as his eyes honed in on the sight of her biting into the decadent treat. Of all the surprises he had planned for her today – including having Anderson find a safe spot with QEC access and arrange for their son and his parents to be there at the appropriate time – this had been the most difficult. He probably would never tell her how many Citadel officials he had bribed to find fresh human fruit and get it imported in time, but the look on her face as she savored his gift made it worth it. He licked his lips as he watched the juice from the fruit spill over her lips and down her chin and then just gave into the urge and cleaned her chin himself with his tongue.

"You remembered," she said softly after he pulled back slightly and licked the dual taste of strawberry and Shepard off his own lips. She was of course, referring to her offhand comment that he would take her to dinner and get her chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert – right in the middle of their battle against the human Reaper. It had stunned him then amused him so much, he didn't think he'd ever forget.

"We never did get to have that dinner..." he said with a shrug. "I figured I owed you."

"No," she corrected softly, in between bites of the fruit that she deliberately made as sensual as possible for his enjoyment, "You don't owe me at all. Everything you did – that day and every day since – more than makes up for it. And I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did, today. You gave me a perfect moment of peace in the middle of hellish war, Kaidan. There are no words to tell you how much I love you for that."

"Every night I lay with you in my arms, or every time I think of the son we created together," Kaidan told her, holding her gaze with love shining back from his, "is a moment of perfect peace for me. Nothing can touch me when I'm in your arms. What I did today, I did to honor how much that makes me love you."

"Oh, Kaidan..." she said as he stole her breath in a different kind of wonder. He pulled her gently into his arms and kissed her, and this time the kiss went on and on until they were both breathless.

When they parted, he set aside the remaining strawberries and pulled her up beside him. He framed her face with both of his hands and spoke gently.

"Seeing you like this... Happy, relaxed, peaceful... _My wife_," he added with special emphasis for the last description, "Makes me so happy." He dropped one of his hands and reached for one of hers. He drew it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her palm – a kiss of love, peace, and promise. "And there are benefits to that happiness," he added with a grin that left no doubt as to what he meant.

"Benefits, eh?" Shepard replied as she threw her arms around his neck. "I like the sound of that, _husband_," again she emphasized the new title. He closed his lips over her smile and began to elaborate.


	17. All You Need is Love

_A/N - I won't keep you for long here, just a note that this chapter is **M-rated, NSFW**, wall-to-wall **Shenko smut**! You've been warned :-)_

* * *

Kaidan extricated himself from her arms – gently but firmly – and took her by the hand to lead her the short steps to their bedside. Once there, he spun her so her back was to him and began to work on the intricate laces that held her dress together. More to distract himself than anything, he spoke casually as his fingers concentrated on the delicate task.

"You were so beautiful today... Liara did an amazing job picking this dress," he told her. "She must have researched human wedding customs for days before I finally just explained that she should pick something that she thought you would like."

"Mmmm," she confirmed as she patiently still under his touch. She knew how careful he was being and gave silent thanks that he was unwilling to take any chance of ruining the beautiful dress. It was as special to her as it was to him and she would gladly shove aside impatience in honor of its preservation. "She really did," she added as she felt the dress begin to give. She brought her hands up to hold the front in place, not as a display of modesty but as a way to allow the last unveiling to be his.

He completed the last of the laces and placed a light kiss against the naked skin of her back before he spun her back to face him. He noted that she held the dress in place against her chest and decided to answer the curiosity that had built while he undid the back of it. With each new lace he unraveled, he had revealed nothing more than naked skin. Exactly what had Liara chosen for Shepard to wear under her wedding dress? If anything at all? His hands literally shook with anticipation as he closed them around her wrists and tugged gently. She didn't resist, but he felt her eyes lock on his face while he stared at what the silk revealed as it fell to her waist. Her breasts were cupped and raised and framed in white lace so sheer he could see her nipples clearly behind it, but the garment wasn't a traditional bra... it continued past the swell of her breasts and to where the silk still pooled at her waist, held in place only by the gentle curve of her hips. He experienced a dual reaction of both mouth-watering wonder at the sight and genuine male confusion at how the garment functioned. The expanse of her naked skin that he had revealed had been nearly complete – the whatever it was called must close nearly at her waist in the back.

He met Shepard's eyes and saw pure female amusement at his reaction in them and shook off any questions about the engineering of her underwear. Instead, he lowered his mouth and took hers as she raised her hands to begin the disrobing ritual for him. He couldn't resist bringing his hands to her breasts, so prettily packaged for him today, and tracing wondering fingertips over the edge of the lace. He was so fascinated by the contrast of soft skin and the hard edge of lace he was startled when he felt her palms slide across his now-bare chest. When had she managed that? Oh right, while he was busy kissing her and exploring her breasts.

He broke their kiss to step back enough for another long look, then decided he was ready for the full effect. He moved his hands to her waist and urged the dress down the rest of the way. He sucked in a breath as he stared in amazement at the rest of the picture. The corset – he had decided to call it that anyway – did cover her entire torso and ended in another trim of lace against her upper thighs. Suspended from that edge were actual garters which held her fine white stockings in place. The lace also didn't obscure the triangle of matching white lace that graced the apex of her thighs. His mouth watered, literally, and he blushed a bit in embarrassment when Shepard had to bend and gather her beautiful dress off the floor herself. He had simply been too stunned at the sight to take care of it himself.

Once the dress was safe, he gathered her back into his arms and buried his face against her neck. He trailed hot kisses against her flesh and swept his arms around her back. He found the strap of the corset, low against her waist as he expected, but he left it undisturbed. The sight of her wrapped up in all that lace was so special and unique, he was leaving it as long as he could stand. Instead, he swept his hands lower and cupped them over the bare skin of her ass. He noted with pleasure that the lace didn't impede his touch at all, and he squeezed gently with appreciation. He moved his mouth to her collarbone, a favorite spot for both of them, and proceeded to bathe it in adoration.

Her hands were busy, too. She reached between them and managed to undo his pants, though they were fitting a little tighter than earlier. She pushed them down his hips and they fell to the floor and he stepped out of them with a careful move, not displacing his hands or mouth while he did. She brought her hands back up and traced them over the hard flesh his boxers still covered, and closed her fist around him gently through the cloth. He sucked in a breath in reaction then blew it out gently over the skin under his mouth and noted the gooseflesh that formed with satisfaction. She wasn't done, though, and she released him and shoved his boxers down as impatiently as she had his pants. When she would have closed her hand back over his naked skin, he reluctantly moved his hands to stop her.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and pushed her gently back on their bed, then crawled between her parted legs to join her. She watched him with naked hunger in her gaze, and he smiled in recognition. He knew she wanted him – all of him – right now, but this was their wedding night, and he intended to give her a night she'd remember forever. He sat on his haunches between her legs and reached for the fastening of a garter. Once the stocking was released, he smoothed it down over her leg in a long slow caress, then drew it slowly off her foot and tossed it aside. He smoothed his hand back up her long leg, noting in the back of his mind the contrast of sensations her now bare skin provided. He performed the same procedure on her other leg and noticed that she trembled under his touch now, but she was still otherwise. Apparently, she was going to let him indulge himself and his heart sang in thanks to her.

Once her legs were bare, he skipped over all the other interesting parts – for now – and laid himself carefully prone on top of her. The impediment of lace – no matter how soft and thin – against his aroused flesh was a sensation so unique, he pushed himself against her in small thrusts as he explored her mouth in similar motions of his tongue. The action caused both of them to gasp in increased arousal and he stilled his hips and clamped down hard on his legendary control. He swept his mouth across her jaw and licked gently at her ear before moving slowly down her throat again. This time, he didn't pause or linger on any one spot – until he reached his destination. She swept her hands up across his back and held him against her as he used his tongue to trace the line of white lace that traveled across the swell of each breast. She squirmed under his teasing caress and he brought a hand up between them to console her.

He explored the lace between her thighs with his fingertips and again, the sensation was so new and different, he couldn't prevent himself from lingering longer than he had originally intended. The cloth was damp and he knew the flesh beneath was soaked and searing with her heat, but he left the impediment in place and caressed familiar territory in an entirely unfamiliar way. At the same time, he abandoned the edge of the white lace under his mouth and moved it lower, closing over the nipple he could see and feel pebbled beneath the surface. He drew her into his mouth and noted with satisfaction that the lace had just enough give to be able to enclose her entire nipple. He sucked down on the sensitive flesh and again the feel was new and different and exciting. He switched to the other nipple as she moaned under his dual caress.

As he sucked the second nipple, he found that new and different wasn't enough for his exploring fingers any longer. He was desperate to feel her slick passion with nothing between them, so he drew the lace down and off her with no regret. Once she was bare, he replaced his hand and sighed against the nipple in his mouth as he discovered the flesh under his fingertips was every bit as exciting as he remembered. There is comfort and thrill even in the familiar, and he traced her folds with the worship he felt at once again being joined with this amazing woman. Since the change had been so welcome to his fingers, he slid his other hand behind her and finally released the rest of the lace. He pushed it off her and to the floor and returned his mouth to her bare nipple. When he sucked her in, he felt satisfaction that he hadn't been wrong. This was so much better. Not new, just perfect.

She arched under him and sank blunt nails into his back and he took the hint gladly. He slid two fingers into her tight channel and rested his thumb against the firm peak above it. He paused and rolled his eyes up to her face and watched her as he began to move his fingers in and out of her while he rolled his thumb over her nub at the same time. He watched carefully for signs that she was nearing her pleasure... He intended this caress to arouse, not fulfill and he needed the visual cue to let him know when to change position. When her breathing quickened and he could feel her heart beating in her chest under his head, he changed the pattern of his strokes to soothing and brought her back from the edge skillfully. He released her nipple from his mouth and trailed warm kisses over her stomach until he finally reached the slick flesh between her thighs. He left his fingers inside her, but closed his mouth around the very center of her desire and sucked her in as he had her nipple. She groaned and tensed and moved her hands to the sheets beside her, clutching handfuls of the material in an effort to hold on to something... anything.

He gave her flicks of his tongue against sensitive flesh and renewed strokes of his fingers inside her to push her further toward the climax she was trying to resist. When she stubbornly tensed and refused to surrender, he finally opened his mouth and released her flesh then whispered against her.

"Let go... I want to see you," he murmured, then closed his mouth again. The words undid her and she fell into orgasm, tensing this time from the pleasure as she groaned his name long and low. He stayed where he was, watching the pleasure ride her, enhancing it with his fingers and mouth until she finally gave a shuddering sigh and fell back against the pillows, spent. Then and only then did he shift and replace fingers with more – sliding deep into her in a long stroke that brought her breath back with a gasp and forced a moan from his own throat.

Once he was fully seated, he braced himself on elbows positioned on either side of her head and brought his mouth down to hers for a kiss. He held himself still as their tongues danced together in the motion they would soon perform with the rest of their bodies. When their mouths parted, he captured her gaze with his.

"I love you," he told her simply.

"I love you," she replied.

The interval ended and Kaidan began to move, giving himself over to long deep thrusts that pushed them both closer to the ultimate and inexorable finale of their dance. He buried his head against her neck and she raised her legs and wrapped them around him. She met every thrust with an equal one of her own, and their lovemaking was no longer tame or gentle. Instead, they came together in a clash nearly as violent as any combat they ever entered. The primary difference was that this was not a battle to the death, but rather a struggle for the mind-blowing pleasure hovering just beyond their joined bodies. One jerk of his hips sent Kaidan over first, unable to resist the overwhelming ecstasy of his hard flesh plunging into her warm wet embrace a second longer. He felt half a heartbeat of regret even in his pleasure, until he felt her clamp around him and stiffen as she too reached her climax. He breathed into it, and reveled in their shared pleasure. They rode wave after wave together, panting with the exertion of it, but both their hearts sang with the joy of fulfillment. When he was finally completely spent, he collapsed beside her and slung one arm over her middle in companionable gratitude.

This time, it was Shepard who brought a shaking hand up to stroke his hair and she did it gladly, though she was as exhausted as he. Every time with him was special, but this night had crossed the boundary from special to magical. She knew she would keep every second of this day in her heart and frequently replay it along with all her most treasured memories. She wouldn't need any of the twenty video versions that she knew friends and crew had sent to her omni-tool to remember her wedding, it was not something she could ever forget. She didn't for one second question that her trove of treasured memories nearly all featured Kaidan – even the ones that didn't were of his son. He was her very soul... everything that meant anything to her was a direct result of him. Their wedding night had been no different.

"You know," she told him casually as she played with his soft hair under her hand, "you made tonight a tough act to follow..."

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned his head to give her a smile that indicated he had no doubt or regret. "You're Commander fucking Shepard," he continued in the same casual tone she had used. "I'm sure you'll find a way to top it."

"Oh, I don't know," she said speculatively. "Top it may be out of the question... Match it, I'm willing to try, though..."

He grinned at her now in genuine humor. "I believe you, but give me a little while to recover first, okay? I am an old married man now, after all," he added with a raised brow.

She burst into a laugh that stroked his ego more than any words ever could. "Married I'll grant you," she told him once she could breathe, "But old? If that's old, I worry about how I'll keep up with you in the future."

"Hmmm, I'm more than willing to see you try, Mrs. Alenko," he replied with a soft smile. He didn't think he'd ever get used to calling her that, and while he mocked himself internally for being old-fashioned enough to like it, he still planned to work it into every conversation he could manage for the thrill it sent to his heart.

"Try?" she growled with a tug on his hair and he groaned as he realized his mistake. He had been so distracted by the sound of her new name on his lips that he hadn't noticed that he had challenged her... And she _never_ backed down from a challenge.

She tugged him back over her and brought his mouth down for a kiss, and he gave thanks that she hadn't done it by his hair. He sank into the kiss and decided not to warn her that they were back on duty in the morning – they had a war that wouldn't wait for them. He'd gladly give her these last moments of peace before reality had to set in. Instead, he rolled to his back, bringing her over top him and settled back against the pillows to relax and enjoy her efforts to meet his challenge. Shepard was always eager and inspired in bed, but Shepard challenged to be even better in bed? Now that's something he couldn't wait to experience... She didn't disappoint.


	18. The Nature of Reality

_A/N - Hope everyone enjoyed the wedding and was surprised! This chapter involves one of the 'fixes' I felt needed to be made to ME3 (and there aren't many)... and I'm hijacking Kaidan to do it, so he's just a tiny bit OOC, but hopefully you'll forgive me... his line in this chapter (and you'll know what I mean when you get there) is completely inspired by my beta, StoneburntHeart... actually, I think she said 'why not have him say blah blah blah' and I pretty much wrote it that way! So thanks as always, girl, you're the best!_

_Thanks so very much for your reviews, Gabe97, Lyv, AirForceBrat, and Angsty Shenko... as well as everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting! You keep me going :-)_

_Special note regarding Shepard's first name... I originally didn't give her one for TTT... I liked the idea of keeping her anonymous, so you could put your own Shepard in there... but then after nearly 200k words, it gets a little ridiculous, thus the joke about the vows... so I still don't know, but it needs to be just AWFUL to justify her near refusal to get married because of it... I may throw it in for the epilogue, but if you have suggestions/ideas, PM me :-)  
_

_As always, hats off to Bioware for creating this amazing universe that keeps us captivated! Everything is theirs, not mine :-)_

* * *

Shepard woke at her usual time the next morning, despite an extremely short night's sleep. She panicked for a moment, afraid that the whole thing had been a dream, but Kaidan's warm arms around her and his reassuring breath against her neck comforted her. Still, she didn't quite breath easy until she opened her eyes and saw the tangible proof that she was married glinting back at her from her hand. She smiled again as she took in the sight of her beautiful rings and felt a new wave of love for Kaidan wash over her. She still couldn't quite believe he had pulled this off, but she was so grateful that he had. He was right – knowing that things between them were settled and permanent made facing the dangers of this war just a little more tolerable. And she knew he was old-fashioned enough to want their bond to be official, especially since they already had a child together. She was glad he had seized the opportunity when they had it.

She rolled to her other side and pressed soft kisses against his face until he awoke, with a smile of his own. He captured her mouth and they shared a kiss of greeting, though they kept it from escalating. They both knew that their idyll had come to an end and reality was about to intrude. When they pulled back from the kiss, his words confirmed that.

"So I guess it's off to the Far Rim for our honeymoon?" he murmured with a teasing smile.

"Mmm," she said non-committal as she sat up in bed and prepared to get up. "About that..."

He grabbed her hand to still her before she could leave the bed. She met his eyes and glanced away, and he questioned her, "Shepard?"

"Well, like you said, the quarians and geth have been at it for three hundred years..." Shepard began after a deep breath. She knew he wasn't going to like her plans, but she was resolute. She didn't necessarily approve of Aria either, but the asari mercenary queen could help them, and she'd set aside her personal feelings to accomplish that goal.

"Ok, and...?" Kaidan prompted her.

"And we have a mission in the Terminus Systems," Shepard answered vaguely, "For Aria T'Loak," she added and cringed a bit when he glared at her.

"Since when do we work for cold-blooded killers?" Kaidan asked with a growl.

"Since they can provide the Crucible project with massive amounts of resources," Shepard replied seriously. "And since they're fighting Cerberus, too."

"What does Cerberus have to do with this?" Kaidan asked with confusion joining the irritation on his face.

"Cerberus stole Omega from Aria – she wants it back," Shepard filled him in.

"And we're going to help her get it?" Kaidan clarified with a resigned sigh.

"That's the idea," Shepard confirmed with a nod. "I don't like her either, Kaidan. But she can be useful," she nearly pleaded with him now.

"You're in command, Shepard," Kaidan said, though it was grudgingly. "We go where you think we're needed."

Shepard gave him her own glare now. "Kaidan, don't be like that," she said with irritation of her own. "You know I value your opinion. And I respect the reasons behind it. I just think this war means we have to make some tough choices... and this is one of them." She saw him sigh and give in and she leaned over to kiss him again. When she pulled back, she murmured against his lips, "And I'll protect you from all the bad touching, I promise." She kissed him again quickly and exited the bed.

"I'm going to hold you to that," he muttered to her retreating back.

**#-#-#**

As it turned out, it was Traynor that saved the day for Kaidan. When Shepard entered the CIC after their breakfast, with Kaidan reluctantly on her heels, their com specialist waved them over.

"Commander, I found something you need to see," Traynor told Shepard hesitantly.

"What have you got?" Shepard asked.

"A group of Cerberus scientists cut ties and fled. Perhaps they finally realized they were on the wrong side," Traynor told them. "We don't know what they were researching, but they were the Illusive Man's top scientists. They could help build the Crucible."

"Maybe we could recruit them?" Shepard met Kaidan's eyes and saw the same doubt reflected on his. "The enemy of my enemy and all that?"

"I'm sure lots of Cerberus people thought they were doing the right thing," Kaidan pointed out reasonably. "The Illusive Man has a way of making his warped ideas seem reasonable, at least at first."

"Whatever crimes Cerberus is committing now..." Traynor put in. "I was on Horizon when the Collectors attacked."

"You were there, Samantha?" Shepard echoed in surprise. "I don't remember seeing you."

"Yes, well, if I remember correctly, you were rather distracted," Traynor replied drily. "I grew up in the Terminus Systems, I was there visiting my family at home," she explained. "The two of you saved me and my family."

"No thanks to Cerberus," Shepard reminded her. "They were behind that attack."

"We can use the resources, no matter where they come from," Kaidan said. "Wasn't that your point earlier?" he said to Shepard.

Shepard nodded and turned back to Traynor. He had a point. "Has the Alliance tried to make contact with the scientists?" she asked Traynor.

"They've been unable to find them, but they're searching... as is Cerberus," Traynor answered. "I've been monitoring Cerberus communications. I've charted signal frequency from various Cerberus cells by location and cross-referenced known ship movements..."

"You found them?" Shepard asked.

"I believe so, yes," Traynor replied.

"Nice work," Shepard praised. "I guess Aria can wait, let's go check this out," she suggested to Kaidan who just shrugged.

"Thanks for your time, Commanders," Traynor said properly, then she smiled and added, "And may I add my congratulations again? It was a beautiful wedding, I was glad to be included."

"We were glad to have you," Shepard replied with a smile, though her eyes were locked on Kaidan's.

"You're part of the family now," Kaidan added before they left her.

**#-#-#**

On the way to the planet Gellix in the Arrae System, they discovered that Cerberus had located the scientists and were already attacking. They landed in the middle of the skirmish and Shepard sent Cortez back to the Normandy for safety. They joined the battle but the scientists were, well, scientists and outgunned. Even with Shepard, Kaidan, and Garrus' help, it was a massacre, and by the time they reached the entrance, only one person remained. Shepard approached the wounded man and started with surprise when she recognized Jacob Taylor.

"Jacob?" she called in surprise as they grabbed the wounded man and helped him into the facility.

"Shepard? And Garrus and Kaidan," Jacob gave a nod of recognition to the squad as he limped between them. They were met inside the facility by a slim woman in a Cerberus uniform who gasped when she saw Jacob's injury.

"Jacob, oh my God," she exclaimed in a clipped British accent.

"I'm alright," Jacob reassured around a gasp of pain. "But the others didn't make it."

"What are you doing here?" Shepard asked in confusion. The galaxy was proving to be a very small place.

"I'm supposed to be protecting these people from the Illusive Man and his attack dogs," Jacob explained.

"Are they gone?" the woman questioned.

"For now, but they'll be back," Kaidan answered.

Jacob groaned again and Shepard glanced at him. "Sure you're ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll walk it off," Jacob bit out in a show of bravado. "Save my life one more time and I'll start owing you," he added.

"This one's on the house," Shepard bantered back with a quirk of her mouth.

"Shepard, this is Doctor Brynn Cole," Jacob finally introduced the woman who had met them. "She's in charge here."

"Tell me what's going on, intel says you're Cerberus," Shepard demanded.

"We're all ex-Cerberus, scientists mostly," Brynn confirmed.

"Civilians?" Shepard questioned with a sigh. This mission didn't get any easier with new information.

"Call us refugees," Brynn explained. "If we hadn't run, we'd be dead."

"Why does the Illusive Man want you dead?" Kaidan interjected.

"Our stories are different, but the themes are the same. We were each using information from the Collector base to work on components of a larger tech. After someone completed their component, they disappeared. No bodies, just... gone. As we progressed, we started feeling like we were signing each others death warrants," Brynn told them.

"The Illusive Man doesn't mess around. If he can't control it, he'll destroy it," Shepard said with a grim look. It was a fact that she had learned well, and had only been reiterated since the Reaper attack.

"The brain trust here has to be a significant loss for him," Jacob pointed out.

"You had to know they were gonna find you," Shepard told them with a hint of criticism. They should have turned themselves into the Alliance rather than hiding out and hoping for the best.

"It's a pretty smart bunch," Brynn replied with a bit of arrogance and challenge in her tone. "We covered our bases."

"But the Illusive Man is one tenacious bastard," Jacob growled.

The sounds of renewed attack from Cerberus outside prevented the discussion from escalating further.

"Time to evacuate," Shepard told them as an explosion rocked the bunker.

"Agreed," Jacob shot back with renewed vigor. "Just need to get the AA guns on the roof back online. Cerberus is jamming them somehow. With those guns down, Cerberus will just blow our escape shuttles out of sky."

"Might be the network link," Brynn suggested.

"I'll check," Jacob groaned in pain as he prepared to move up the stairs into the command center. "Meet you upstairs."

"Jacob, you should get that wound looked at," Shepard told his departing back.

"I'm good," Jacob barked in reply then he seemed to remember who she was and corrected himself. "I mean, I will."

"Commander, I should see to my people," Brynn excused herself as she made to follow Jacob. "Join me upstairs when you can."

Shepard turned back to Kaidan and Garrus once the two were out of earshot. She raised a questioning brow to them.

"They seem legit," Kaidan answered her unspoken question. "And clearly not fans of the Illusive Man."

"I'm more worried about what they were doing for Cerberus," Garrus added. "Sounds like not even the bomb is keeping the Illusive Man from using the Collector base against us."

"Yeah, although if we hadn't blown it, they might be farther along," Shepard replied with a shrug.

"And these scientists might be safe," Garrus pointed out.

"We'll get them out of here and figure this out later," Shepard told them. She motioned them towards the stairs.

**#-#-#**

They explored the ground level, refilled their ammo, and consoled several scientists who had lost people in the firefight outside. They had an uncomfortable conversation with the unwelcome figure of Dr. Gavin Archer, who had sought refuge with this group. His presence hadn't made Shepard feel more kindly toward their mission but despite her dislike of the man, she hadn't withheld the information that his brother was safe. They finally reached Brynn, who was busy coordinating the evacuation.

"What's the status of the guns?" Shepard questioned her.

"Still waiting," Brynn answered as she moved around the room, completely the necessary tasks. "I have my best people on it."

"How many scientists are here?" Shepard asked as she fell into step beside her.

"Forty-three, plus research assistants," Brynn replied.

"That many?" Kaidan hissed. "Lot of people to hide."

"When you fear for your life, there's a lot you can do," Brynn said with a shrug.

One of Brynn's scientists approached with concerns about his equipment and they overheard her recommending that he worry about his family, not the research.

"Wait, there are families here? Children?" Shepard queried with rising alarm. She met Kaidan's eyes and saw the same concern reflected there. This raised the stakes immensely. "So these refugees brought everyone with them?" she probed.

"Yes. We have about seventeen kids here. Plus partners, spouses, parents," Brynn informed them. "I promised these people refuge, a new life free from Cerberus. I just never imagined the Illusive Man would..."

"It's too late for that now," Shepard replied with a gesture of her hand to dismiss Brynn's self-doubt. "Everyone left gets out of here alive." Brynn simply nodded. "This escape will have to be carefully executed," Shepard continued.

"I'd hoped... We'd tried so hard to make sure it wouldn't come to this," Brynn replied and turned back to her work.

Jacob approached, still clutching his wounded abdomen. Shepard glared to see he still hadn't gotten treatment, but set it aside for now.

"What's the news?" she asked him.

"Can't tell. Only know I can't fix it from here – I'm going to the roof," Jacob replied, his voice clearly affected by the pain. Shepard barely resisted rolling her eyes at his plan. Apparently, Jacob hadn't lost his hero complex since she'd last seen him. Too bad he was still fairly bad it. The execution of it, anyway.

"Jacob, you're injured," Shepard countered reasonably. "I'll fix the guns."

"No way," Jacob replied stubbornly. "These are my people, I'm going."

"Just because you survived one suicide mission doesn't mean you get two," Shepard said sardonically.

"Argh, fine," Jacob groaned. "But I'm going to talk you through it from here. Cerberus is probably jamming the satellite link. Radio me when you've found the controls and I'll give you the override code."

"Oh I will," Shepard confirmed with a nod. "Right after I make sure you get that wound checked like I said you should earlier," she added with a pointed glare and a wave to the med-bay behind them.

Jacob shrugged, winced in pain, and turned to follow her 'suggestion' with a sigh. She trailed after him, planning to make sure he got medical help this time. When he seated himself in a chair beside one of the exam tables and a medic came over to begin working on him, he looked up at her impatiently.

"So how have you been, Jacob?" Shepard casually made conversation as she stood guard while the medic did her work.

"This is crazy," Jacob commented with a shake of his head. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Jacob had left the Normandy during their stop for debrief with the Council after the Collector base. Frankly, Shepard didn't think she'd see him again, either. Jacob had a habit of getting in over his head, well-intentioned or not.

"I know the feeling," Shepard replied with a nod. "How did you become a gun for hire?"

"Long story. It was an opportunity I couldn't resist for people I came to care about," Jacob replied.

"You seem good," Shepard said.

"These are great people," Jacob replied with feeling. "Defending their ideals. I like it. I think I've finally found what I'm meant to do."

"So how did you end up here?" Shepard asked curiously. She saw that the medic was nearly done and waved to Kaidan and Garrus that they were nearly ready to go. They wandered over to her side, standing over each shoulder.

"After you dropped me on the Citadel," Jacob answered, "Well, things look a lot different when you come back from a suicide mission alive. So I quit Cerberus, I quit everything. Even went to Earth and sat by the Mediterrean for a while."

"And what did all that fresh air and meditation teach you?" Shepard asked with a cocked brow.

"That what I choose to fight for better mean something to me," Jacob replied. "That it means more when it comes from the heart. I'm important to these people. I want a life, I want a family."

"Sure, I get that," Shepard said casually. If only he knew... Every fight she'd entered for the past two years had been for the people she cared about, and her family was the most important thing in the world to her.

"No, Shepard, the Normandy's your real love," Jacob replied, proving that he didn't know her at all.

"Funny, it wasn't the Normandy's name she was screaming in bed last night," Kaidan growled from over her shoulder. Shepard was so shocked he'd spoken – she had nearly forgotten he was there – that she didn't even bother to glare at him. Besides, it was rather nice to see the blush spread over Jacob's face.

"Sorry, man, I didn't mean anything by it," Jacob mumbled to Kaidan.

"Taylor, you should think before you speak," Kaidan glared at him. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Ok, boys," Shepard said with a sigh. "Let's go fix these guns," she said to Kaidan and Garrus, giving him the glare now. She appreciated his defense, but in the long run, Jacob didn't know her, and his opinion wasn't informed.

Kaidan sighed and turned away from Jacob, preparing to follow orders. To her surprise, it was Garrus that stared Jacob down stubbornly.

"They have a son," Garrus said with a threatening growl. "They had to leave my nephew behind on Earth when the Reapers attacked."

"Shit, Shepard, I didn't know," Jacob replied, pleading now for forgiveness.

"I know you didn't, Jacob, it's fine," Shepard said with a dismissive wave. "Let's go, Garrus," she told her friend pointedly. He finally got the message and fell in.

As they left the med-bay, Shepard remarked, very casually, "You two do know I can defend myself, right?"

"Some people deserve to be put in their place," Kaidan said with a shrug. "He had it coming."

"Hope you have some aggression left for the Cerberus troops waiting topside for us," Shepard replied with a sigh.

"Always," Kaidan confirmed with a grim look.

**#-#-#**

They fought their way through the Cerberus troops, restored the satellite uplink and headed to the two AA guns with little issue. The first gun came online easily using the manual override, but the second needed to be fixed from the top of the tower. Shepard sent Garrus up to do the repair and shortly thereafter, Cerberus sent a shuttle with new troops to attack them. She turned to Kaidan with a shrug.

"Just you and me, Kaidan," Shepard said. "Ready for this?"

"Always," he replied with a grin as he ducked into cover.

She took up position opposite him and they dispatched the waves of troops from the shuttle until Garrus finally brought the gun online and solved the problem the explosive way. They headed back in to the base with smiles wreathing their faces.

"Guns are back online," Shepard informed Brynn and Jacob. "Is everyone ready for evac?"

"We've got everything as ready as we can make it," Brynn replied.

"But we're only gonna get one shot at this," Jacob warned. "We need to make sure."

"Thanks for your concern, Jacob," Shepard replied with a glare. Maybe his remark had affected her more than she thought, because she didn't feel too kindly to him at the moment. "We need to get these people out, it's now or never. Get the kids out first," she told him, "and start the evacuation now."

Jacob nodded and gave the order. He wandered off to the shuttle bay to oversee the egress. Shepard watched with bated breath as the first shuttle, loaded with its precious cargo, took off and escaped to the cheers of all observers. She turned to give the order for the next evac, when an explosion from outside had her whirling back to the window. She stared in horror at the carnage outside.

"A suicide bomber took out one of the guns," Kaidan confirmed her suspicions and her heart sank. Moments later, she saw a Cerberus shuttle evade the fire of the one remaining gun and hover outside.

"Take cover!" she ordered with a yell and waved the remaining scientists to safety. Cerberus troops crashed through the observation windows and the squad moved to attack.

Once they cleared the command center, they moved to eliminate Cerberus troops preventing the escape of the second shuttle and then back up to the roof to provide cover for the evacuation to proceed. It was a prolonged firefight, but eventually the last shuttle took off safely. Jacob advised them over coms that they were swinging back to retrieve Shepard and her squad, just as Cerberus deployed an Atlas mech. Shepard nodded to Garrus, who switched from assault rifle to sniper rifle and disabled the mech in one shot.

"Nice," Kaidan said with a low whistle.

Jacob advised them that they coming in to pick them up and they waited impatiently as the shuttle made its descent. Another wave of Cerberus attacked from behind and Shepard ducked into cover and raised her rifle to attack.

"Go, I'll cover you," she yelled to her squad. Kaidan and Garrus turned and ran for the shuttle, while she followed more slowly, stopping to turn and fire as she went. Jacob fired from the open shuttle door, assisting them. Once everyone but Shepard was safely inside the shuttle, Kaidan yelled for her, and she turned just as he caught her in a pull and yanked her to safety. The maneuver was getting to be common these days, but she still shot him a grateful smile when he righted her and they signaled the shuttle to leave.

**#-#-#**

After Shepard got their new visitors settled and updated Hackett, she went to Starboard Obs to catch up with Kaidan. He smiled distractedly when she entered and she walked over and gave him a questioning look.

"What's up?" she asked when he didn't say anything.

"All those people... and their families," Kaidan replied with a shrug. "They're good people, right? But they were Cerberus."

"And Cerberus is the enemy," Shepard continued his thought as she took a seat on the couch.

"Right, but they're good people," Kaidan persisted. "So how do you make that choice? Who is the enemy, who deserves our help?"

"What do you think?" Shepard asked, curious to know where he was going.

"I don't know, Shepard," Kaidan answered, truly looking torn. "I guess that's why you're in charge... Someone has to make the tough choices."

"And I can do it because I have you to help me, and to support me," Shepard said with a pointed look. "Don't you get it, Kaidan? We're a team," she placed a hand on his arm until he met her gaze and nodded.

"Yeah, you're right," Kaidan said with a sigh and a smile. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I'm still glad you're the one that has to choose though," he added.

"We just help the people that ask for it," she said with a dismissive shrug. "And hope it's the right call."

"Yeah," Kaidan said and squeezed his arms around her in a quick hug. "Shepard, about Jacob..."

"He got under both our skin," Shepard mumbled. "I guess because he could have been right."

"Shepard..." Kaidan pulled back to meet her gaze but she pressed her hand to his lips to stop him from speaking further.

"I said he could have been," Shepard reminded him. "If things hadn't happened the way they did, if the Normandy hadn't gone down, you hadn't died, we didn't have Caleb... I might be that person Jacob sees."

"Maybe," Kaidan conceded finally. "Though I doubt it. The thing is, Jacob never took the time to see through the mask. Or maybe you never let him see. Either way, he knows a different Commander Shepard than I do."

"I should hope so," Shepard replied with an arch look. "And I guess that's the whole point, right? Not everything is always what it seems to be..."

"And if that's your sneaky way of trying to convince me that Aria is worthwhile, you're not winning this one, Shepard," Kaidan said with a grin. "But I already told you I'd help."

"Well, we have to take Jacob and crew back to the Citadel, so no time like the present to meet up with her man and see what she has in mind," Shepard told him. She stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss against his mouth before she tried to turn to go.

Kaidan pulled her back into his arms and lowered his mouth. "In that case, you have until we get to the Citadel to convince me I like this idea," he murmured against her lips.

"And how would I do that?" Shepard asked, all cheeky innocence.

Kaidan kissed her thoroughly before he pulled back enough to mutter. "I'm sure you'll think of something..."

"Hmmm," she hummed into their kiss. She wasn't sure she'd persuade him to want to help Aria, but she was more than willing to try... and at least she could distract him in the meantime. Sometimes her job sucked. And then there were these times.


	19. Sympathy for the Devil, Part 1

_A/N - So when I first planned this fic, I tossed around the idea of writing my version of the Omega DLC, and it was appealing because I don't see many fics that cover it... Then when I sat down to actually write it, I got about halfway through and realized why - damn, that bitch is long! And kinda repetitive! Lol but I was committed at that point, so I pushed through! Here you have the first part (nearly 12k words, which is what it came out to be when it was done is a little too long for one chapter, even for TTK.) Hope you enjoy and have a great weekend!_

_Thanks for your reviews Lyv, Gabe97, AngstyShenko, Meggo929 and AirForceBrat... I know some of you were upset with me over my Jacob hate, but I stand by it, sorry! After all, in an alternate universe where Kaidan didn't exist, and you decide to romance him (blah), he leaves you for another woman and gets her pregnant... sorry, I can't stand him, and his 'Normandy's your first love' remark annoys me... particularly in the case of this Shepard! To everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, hope you're still with me and I apologize if I offended you, too!  
_

_As always, I give all credit for all things ME to Bioware, and thank them for it! And to my beta, StoneburntHeart, thank you for putting up with me! This chapter took a lot of hand holding :-)_

* * *

After dropping Jacob, Brynn and the rest of the Cerberus scientists off at the Alliance Docks, Shepard and Kaidan headed to Dock 42, the coordinates Aria had specified. Once there, they were met by a lone batarian who seemed bored more than anything. He tossed his lit cigarette aside and stood straighter as they approached.

"Are you Bray?" Shepard asked him.

"The great Commander Shepard," the batarian replied with great sarcasm. "Heh, and me without my autograph book."

"Save it," Shepard told him. "Just take us to Aria."

"Follow me," Bray rumbled and led them through the security checkpoint and into the private dock. He turned back to them once inside.

"So where is she?" Shepard asked impatiently, looking around the empty dock.

Bray simply crossed his arms over his chest and waited as the sound of an aircar announced the arrival of the mercenary queen. The unmarked car hovered at the dock and the doors opened to reveal their less than favorite asari.

"Shepard," Aria greeted her then she frowned. "And accessory... I believe I said alone, Shepard."

"Sorry, Aria, this is as alone as I get these days..." Shepard said with a shrug. "What with the Reapers and coup attempts and all."

Aria and Shepard held a brief staring contest until Aria finally sighed and gave in. She motioned slightly with her head and Shepard, Kaidan, and Bray joined her in the aircar.

"How dramatic," Shepard commented when the doors closed around them.

"Yes well, one cannot be too careful these days," Aria said with a shrug. "What with the Reapers and coup attempts and all."

"So are we here to talk about retaking Omega?" Shepard questioned as Bray expertly piloted the aircar on a seemingly pointless loop.

"We're here to talk about your war, Shepard," Aria countered. "Cerberus controlling the Terminus Systems seriously bolsters their mobility. Since taking Omega, they've spread through the galaxy. Surely the Alliance has noticed."

"Cut to the chase," Shepard said impatiently. "What's your plan?"

"Kick them out," Aria pronounced. At Shepard's glare, she sighed and accessed her omni-tool. As she continued, holos hovered above her wrist to illustrate her plans. "I've amassed a fleet of merc ships. We're going to punch through enemy lines and invade. Once we're on Omega, it's a ground war. That's why I want you – I only accept the best." This time Aria didn't quail under Shepard's glare. "The leader of the Cerberus occupation is General Oleg Petrovsky. He's the one who... ousted me," Aria said and indicated the holo that appeared with the man's image.

"Don't know him," Shepard said with a casual shrug. She hadn't exactly spent her time with Cerberus getting acquainted. She met Kaidan's eyes and saw his agreement there.

"The Illusive Man's top military strategist and best kept secret," Aria declared. "But all you need to know is he's a merciless bastard."

"What's your intel on the occupation?" Shepard inquired.

"Petrovsky's army is massive, and he's got Omega locked tight. The information stops there," Aria stated grimly.

"So you're winging it?" Kaidan guessed with a resigned sigh.

"Not at all," Aria said with a frown at him, as if she had just remembered his presence. "There are secrets on Omega that only I know... Secrets that will provide us with a foothold. I can tell you this: Petrovsky's invasion was precise and ruthless. He'll stop at nothing to win."

"Sounds familiar," Shepard commented pointedly.

"Shepard, I know my repuatation," Aria said earnestly as she sat forward. "I know I'm hated. I ruled Omega with an iron fist. But the people were free. Their lives were theirs. I preserved that. This man," she said with a wave of her hand at Petrovsky's image, "took all that away. And he is going to pay. When Omega is mine again, I'll give you everything. I've got ships, mercs, eezo – all yours for the war."

"What's the catch?" Shepard asked suspiciously.

"I have objections to some of the company you keep," Aria pronounced with a pointed glare at Kaidan. "So you'll have to leave the Normandy and its crew behind."

Shepard had no issues with leaving the Alliance warship behind – in fact, she rather thought Command might actually court-martial her if she took this mission on flying Alliance colors – and she could put the crew, under Garrus' command, to use performing many of the side missions and errands her Citadel contacts always seemed to require, so that wasn't objectionable either. The one exception was seated beside her and she could feel the weight of his stare on her.

"Most of my crew," Shepard countered, making her meaning very clear. Aria took Kaidan and Shepard, or neither.

"Fine," Aria finally acceded with a sigh. "At least we'll have some eye candy along the way." When both Shepard and Kaidan glared at her, she just shrugged. "I didn't say which of you I meant. Bray will provide coordinates to my fleet. Oh, and while we're still on the Citadel, please be discreet." They finished their loop and the aircar came to a stop at the private dock again. Shepard and Kaidan left Aria and in the car and Bray disembarked with them.

"The fleet is hidden in this system," he announced with his omni-tool open to transmit the coordinates. "Signal me when you're on the way. Aria and I will meet you on the command ship." Shepard nodded as she received the information and began to walk back to the elevator. "Heh, can't wait to see what all the fuss is about," Bray commented to their departing backs.

"Shepard..." Kaidan muttered once they were out of earshot.

"Objection noted, Commander," Shepard replied with a sigh as they entered the elevator and headed back to the Normandy.

**#-#-#**

Once Shepard apprised the Normandy crew of their mission and orders, she left Garrus in charge as planned and had Cortez pilot her and Kaidan to Aria's command ship, waiting on the other side of the Widow system. Once aboard, they approached Aria, who was in holo-conference with another asari.

"... we're out-shipped four-to-one, and most of our ships are transports with limited firepower," the asari reported grimly.

"We're not here to win a space battle, Jarral," Aria countered. "We just have to punch through their line."

"So you've commandeered a Cerberus cruiser," Shepard commented in greeting, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings of the enemy command vessel.

"The guests of honor have arrived," Aria replied sarcastically. "We can finally start."

"Let me guess... You're planning on infiltrating the enemy fleet?" Shepard said with sarcasm of her own.

"Exactly. We position ourselves to strike a crippling blow, then my forces join the fun," Aria confirmed.

"A lot could go wrong," Shepard pointed out.

"The assault's been planned for weeks, Shepard. For now, just sit back. Let me steer," Aria replied.

"Not the best start to our partnership, Aria," Shepard returned around gritted teeth.

"How things begin isn't as nearly as important as how they end," Aria said breezily as she walked to the helm. She came to halt behind the pilot's chair which was occupied by her batarian lieutenant. "Bray, move through the relay. Signal the fleet to wait. They only follow on my command," she ordered.

They watched out the viewport as Bray completed Aria's orders and navigated the relay. Omega station's jellyfish-like shape loomed in the distance, omitting its ubiquitous red glow. It was surrounded by a field of asteroids in which hid the winking lights of hundred of ships. They gathered around the central command center which displayed the sight they were seeing out the viewport in holo form.

"Head for the command ship," Aria ordered tersely.

"_Cruiser, I don't have you on the flight plan. Identify yourself,"_ a harsh voice called over the com.

Bray pushed a button at his terminal and a recording of an unknown voice played. _"This is Captain Lentz. Run voice recognition: alpha, tango, zed. We took damage. Seeking repairs."_

"_Identity confirmed, Captain. Hold for approach authorization," _came the reply.

"Do I even want to know how you got the Captain to say that?" Shepard asked rhetorically.

Aria just gave her a look. Shepard grimaced a bit. Cerberus may be her enemy, and perhaps the unknown Captain Lentz was on the wrong side of the war, but that didn't mean she approved of Aria's methods. They watched as the cruiser moved into formation with the other Cerberus vessels.

"That's right, nice and slow," Aria coached Bray.

"Be patient, get as close as you can," Shepard added.

When they were within range, Aria tensed and finally ordered, "Fire!" The cruiser's guns unleashed a spray of lasers on the Cerberus ships around them. The sneak attack dealt massive damage to the vessels nearby and Bray moved the cruiser into an escape vector as Cerberus caught on to the trick and moved to attack.

"Signal the fleet through the relay," Aria barked.

Seconds later, the rest of Aria's ships joined the battle and a large hole in Cerberus' lines formed.

"We're through," Aria called. "Head straight for the station."

"We're being hailed by the general," Bray reported.

"Should be interesting. Put him through," Aria ordered.

General Petrovsky's holographic form took shape on the center console.

"Aria, I knew this had to be you," the General proclaimed, his posture one of supreme confidence. "You'll never make it, call it off now."

"You're barking up the wrong tree, General, but maybe you can convince my partner..." Aria replied with a wave to Shepard, who stood beside her.

"Commander Shepard," the general greeted her. "I've heard great things about you."

"My partner here doesn't have much to say for you," Shepard growled.

"She's not used to being defeated," Petrovsky replied. "It clouds her judgment. A pity you left Cerberus. We all sabotage ourselves in nefarious ways. Perhaps deep down you fear success." Shepard tensed at his words and might have replied except for the tiny head shake Kaidan sent her. He was right, the general's words were just that – words... a ploy in this verbal war. Petrovsky continued when she didn't reply, "And Aria clearly thinks seeing you will unsettle me. Now it's my turn. I see you've gone to the trouble of outfitting that ship with Silaris armoring. An exorbitant waste. I've made improvements to Omega's outer defenses. My cannons will cut through you at will."

"He sounds pretty confident," Shepard muttered to Aria.

"Yeah, he does," Aria agreed softly.

"So again, I say turn back," Petrovsky reiterated.

"Let's see what you've got, Oleg," Aria taunted. "End transmission." When the general's holo blinked out, Aria spoke again. "That went well. Set preset course," she ordered. "We're ramming the station. Everyone brace for impact."

"What?" Shepard exclaimed in alarm.

"Omega's kinetic barriers will stop my ships from landing," Aria explained. "I equipped this cruiser with disrupters to take it out on impact."

"This was your plan all along?" Shepard clarified with a glare.

"Don't worry... we'll probably survive the crash," Aria replied breezily. "But I bet you're wishing you hadn't brought your favorite boytoy now."

This time, it was Shepard's turn to silently convince Kaidan not to speak. His hand was on his pistol but her look held him. Killing Aria now was a certain death sentence, no matter how much she'd like to take her out with her own bare hands.

There was a scurry of movement on the bridge as everyone took their stations and strapped in. Bray maneuvered the ship toward the station while Petrovsky's cannons spun up, ready to fire. They dodged the first few shots barely, but the third was a solid hit over the hull.

"Shields gone, all systems failing," Bray reported.

"We can make it," Aria urged.

Shepard met Kaidan's eyes and she could see her own nightmares reflected in his eyes... This situation was getting too reminiscent of another crash, in another life. They could only hold on and hope that Bray was half the pilot Joker had been.

"Aria, don't be stupid," Shepard growled. "Sound the evac."

Aria resisted for long seconds, before she finally gave in and beat her fist against her chair. "Dammit, program escape pods for the station," she ordered. Everyone unstrapped and began to run for the pods.

"Let's go," Shepard called to the people around them. "Everyone out! there's no time!"

She watched as the bridge crew began to depart, and saw Kaidan rush to help a salarian who had been tossed to the deck by the turbulence. Her heart stopped until she saw him right the salarian and turn to join. He urged her forward but she shook her head. She grabbed his hand in hers and they exited together. Once they were 'safely' seated in the escape pod, Shepard let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. However this ship's crash ended, it would end with them together.

"Guess that asshole really did upgrade Omega's outer defenses," Aria growled needlessly.

"So it would seem," Shepard replied with a glare.

The escape pod hatch shut with a bang and they were jostled as the pod ejected from the cruiser. The journey to Omega took long seconds, but they finally came to a relatively safe crash landing on the station. Shepard reached for her shotgun and readied it before she even unstrapped. She had no doubt their entrance had attracted attention. She nodded in satisfaction to see Kaidan had his rifle readied and barrier raised and she saw Aria had also drawn a shotgun. She undid her harness and took point, counting down silently with her fingers before she threw the hatch open and jumped out. Three Cerberus troopers stood waiting with guns drawn. She charged the first one before they could get a shot off. When the flare of her biotics subsided, all three enemies were down. They took cover behind some nearby crates.

"I really hope the other escape pods made it," Kaidan said with a glare at Aria. Aria shrugged casually but Shepard saw a slight crack until the cool exterior. She would never admit it, but she cared, too.

"Ok, what's our target?" Shepard asked to turn them back to the business at hand.

"We need to hit the Defense System Station, shut down Omega's outer defenses so my ships can land," Aria told them. "If we don't, they'll be blown to bits like we were."

"Got it," Shepard replied as she leaned around cover and returned fire to the new wave of Cerberus troops that were advancing.

"This is what I brought you for," Aria stated as she, too, returned fire. "Ground assault."

Shepard nodded. That made sense, since it was one of her strengths – being able to lead a small strike force through intense combat situations. But she wasn't taking another step before she laid the ground rules.

"Then let me do my job," she told Aria. "If you want me to lead, you better be willing to follow."

Aria heard the message loud and clear and nodded easily. "In combat, what you say goes," she returned agreeably.

Shepard took a deep breath and let herself fall into the role of command. It wasn't her ideal squad, but what she'd seen of Aria so far, she was more than competent. And she'd trust her acceptance of her command until the asari did anything to make her doubt. Like it or not, they needed each other to get out of this alive. She met Kaidan's eyes and saw her own thoughts reflected there. She knew he was trusting her, too, and she didn't plan to let any of them down. This may have been one of her crazier ideas, but they'd come through worse situations. She quickly assessed the battlefield ahead and formed her strategy.

"Ok, then, this is what we're going to do..." she began to lay out her orders.

**#-#-#**

Multiple times during the intense fights that followed, Shepard found herself thinking that she was glad Aria was on her side of this skirmish, not the other. Although the squad took some time to come together synchronously – for a while, she and Kaidan were in their own rhythm, born of long practice and complete trust, while Aria seemed to be a third wheel – Aria's fierce combat skills more than made up for the lack of cohesion. Shepard noted that the asari had a few neat biotic skills that she had never seen before, and coveted with a professional jealousy she wasn't ashamed to admit. Eventually, after the third or fourth skirmish, Aria proved that she wasn't just talented in combat, but also incredibly smart, as she began to pick up and even anticipate Shepard and Kaidan's rhythm. By the time they reached a locked door just before the planetary defenses, Shepard was beginning to feel sorry for the Cerberus troops they encountered. They had numbers on their side, but little else.

"_Access denied. Environmental hazard detected," _the door's VI announced when they tried to hack the lock.

"The next area needs to be repressurized," Kaidan reported with his omni-tool engaged. "Initiating..."

"Also known as a trap," Shepard translated grimly as she moved them all to cover in front of the door. Her guess was proved right as Cerberus forces attacked from all sides. "How long?" she asked Kaidan who simply shook his head. She sighed and motioned each of them to the flanking sides of the T intersection. They dug in and fought off the attacks as the door VI called out progress. Finally, the door unlocked just as the last of the Cerberus troopers fell under her charge.

They pressed forward and into the room with the defense controls. A short firefight eliminated the Cerberus guards and Shepard motioned Kaidan forward to the control panel once they were clear. He began to work at the terminal while Aria and Shepard stood guard.

"I begin to understand why you bring him," Aria commented casually. "Not just decorative, but useful, too."

"Don't you get tired of this game, Aria?" Shepard said with a sigh.

"Oh, very well," Aria relented. She opened a channel and notified her second in command that they were lowering defenses. They watched out the viewport as the cannons stopped fired and ground to a mechanical halt. Bray reported that the rendezvous point was clear and that he was opening the hangar doors for the ships to land.

"What exactly is this rendezvous point?" Shepard asked.

"That's where we're headed," Aria reported. "It's a bunker I established on D-Deck for my more... sensitive operations. It's utterly impenetrable with it's own secret hangar and dock. Independent power source, life support, munitions – you'll see."

A shot rang out behind them and the fizzle of electronics sounded a moment later. They whirled to see Kaidan, pistol in hand, had just dispatched a hidden camera above them.

"Guessing the general knows where we're going, too," Kaidan commented as he sheathed his pistol.

"Then no time for sightseeing," Aria replied with a frown. She pointed to a door on the far side of the hangar and Shepard motioned them out.

**#-#-#**

Just before the rendezvous point, they reached a large open area with a clear view of the station's skyline. While Aria waxed nostalgic about her return, Shepard saw Kaidan frown and point at a large red wall in the near distance. Aria noticed and followed their gaze.

"What are those things?" she wondered aloud.

"Some kind of force field," Shepard guessed.

"That's not good," Aria replied with emphasis.

Shepard searched for an alternate route, and waved them on when she spotted a stack of crates blocking a side tunnel. They climbed over the crates and dispatched the enemies that adjusted to their route and moved to attack. They reached the elevator moments later and climbed in. As Shepard reached for the control panel to set the elevator in motion, Aria noticed the paint marring the wall above it.

"I know that symbol," she stated.

"Looks like a gang tag," Shepard commented disinterestedly.

"The Talons. They used to deface my property, too," Aria told them.

When the elevator let them out on D-deck, the gang tag greeted them on a nearby crate.

"The Talons symbol again," Shepard remarked.

"Hmm, could be evidence of a resistance," Aria mused.

"Might be useful," Kaidan commented. Shepard nodded in agreement. They could use any help they could get. And enemy of my enemy and all that...

They went through another door and climbed down a broken bridge. Another force field loomed in the distance and Aria frowned as she saw a vorcha standing in front of it.

"One of my soldiers," she informed them. "What the hell is he doing?"

They watched with alarm as a new figure emerged – right through the force field. They took cover as the mech employed its omni-blade and attacked the vorcha, knocking it back through the translucent red wall. The vorcha's flesh caught fire the instant it met the lasers of the force field and he died in a fit of screams as he burned. The mech turned and moved to their position. Shepard frowned as her hud told her the mech was heavily armored. The fact that it was also synthetic already put them at a disadvantage biotically. She switched to her assault rifle and checked her mods, making sure she had incendiary ammo prepped. One thing she knew for sure – organic or synthetic, armored or shielded, all enemies were susceptible to fire. She raised the rifle and began to shoot, but the mech was fast and kept coming. It seemed to have no response to pain, which wasn't surprising.

"Kaidan..." she cried desperately, hoping he had something in his bag of tricks for them.

"Got it," he replied and ducked out of cover and employed a cryo blast. Her heart literally stopped until he was safely back in cover, but the mech's progress was stalled long enough for her to get several rounds in and begin to whittle at its armor. She nodded in satisfaction. She tossed Kaidan a thermal clip she had already modded with incendiary ammo.

"Give me another cryo when you can," she ordered as he loaded the modded ammo in his rifle and worked with her chip away and the mech's armor. She saw Aria begin to pull and throw crates in the mech's path, providing physical obstacles to its progress. In the typically linear thinking of its kind, it stopped to destroy the obstacles rather than seeking another path, and that, too, helped to slow it down.

Kaidan employed another cryo blast and this time, the maneuver held the mech in stasis much longer – its armor had been damaged to the point where its resistance was low. They combined fire and finally watched with satisfaction as it exploded in a fiery mess. Before they could breathe a sigh of relief, though, two other mechs joined the attack, walking right through the force field. Shepard raised her rifle and gritted her teeth as they began the long process once again.

The last mech finally fell under their assault, and nearly right in front of them. Shepard stepped out of cover and eyed the glowing red remains suspiciously. She got just close enough to touch it, and watched in horror as her barrier immediately began to fall. She jerked back with a growl and waited until her hud told her it was safe.

"Ok, don't do that," she said to her squad.

"Do as I say, not as I do?" Kaidan shot back with a frown.

"Needed to test a theory," she replied with a shrug.

"We need to check that force field," Aria stepped in and reminded them that she was there. She began moving toward the red wall. "Something tells me these force fields are going to be a problem," she understated casually.

"Are we blocked?" Shepard asked grimly.

"Not this time," Aria replied. "Come here." She led them to a seemingly broken terminal on a nearby wall. She pressed a sequence of buttons and it opened the shutters to an adjacent room. "This way," she called as she vaulted the wall into the room. She moved to another terminal and began to work.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Letting you in on a secret," Aria pronounced as a section of the wall beside them opened to reveal a hidden ladder. "Down the ladder," she urged.

Shepard shrugged, positioned herself at the top of the ladder, and slid down. She moved aside and waited with raised rifle as the rest of the squad joined her. Something about the silence in this area was wrong. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on edge. She saw Aria and Kaidan raise their weapons and search the dim room with their eyes, too.

"Who's there?" Shepard called. "Show yourself."

"Spirits, look who's back. Aria T'Loak," a flanged voice announced the arrival of the watcher from the shadows before the turian female moved into view.

"Nyreen," Aria replied as she lowered her shotgun. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Playing cat and mouse, mostly," Nyreen replied casually. "Just trying to stay alive. If it wasn't for these tunnels..." As she approached, they could see that she had the height that was typical of turians and walked with the traditional cat-like grace of her race, but she wore light black armor and a hooded cloak and most of her features were obscured. Shepard noted that her facial tattoos were red in color. She knew that turian facial markings indicated their colony of origin – Garrus had explained that long ago – and this was the first time she had seen red, but she wasn't sure what colony it meant.

"My tunnels," Aria responded. "I'm sure glad I showed them to you," she added, and Shepard caught the note in Aria's voice that said more than just her words did. This newcomer was important to Aria. Interesting.

"If you hadn't, I'd be dead or locked up by now," Nyreen replied.

"Aria doesn't trust easily," Shepard stated casually. _Or at all_, she amended silently. "I guess you're a good friend."

"I don't know," Nyreen said simply. "Are we, Aria?"

"Shepard, this is Nyreen Kandros. Ex-turian military. We go way back," Aria offered in way of introduction.

Shepard nodded to the turian female. "Commander Kaidan Alenko, my second in command," Shepard performed her own introduction when Aria didn't offer it.

"And her bondmate," Aria added, which seemed to startle Nyreen. "I've got a lot of questions. But they'll have to wait," she said. "Follow us, we'll get you to safety."

"I'll do my best," Nyreen replied simply.

"Ready to put that gun to good use?" Shepard asked with a pointed nod at the turian's rifle.

"You have no idea how ready," Nyreen replied with emphasis.

They moved out in the direction of the rendezvous point. Before they reached it, Bray reported that they were under attack and that the fleet was still landing. Aria ordered them to lock down the blast doors and defend themselves while they rushed forward to flank the enemies. After a heavy firefight, they pushed through the Cerberus resistance and armed the bunker's defense turrets. They reached safety and sealed the blast doors behind them.

"Aria, I know this place is built like a fortress, but is it safe now that the general's clued in?" Nyreen voiced the doubts they were all feeling.

"I do feel like a sitting duck here," Shepard added with a frown.

"I have no intention of sitting around, and you all should know that I assume nothing. And on that front..." Aria began. "Nyreen, you left Omega fairly angry with me. I wasn't aware you'd returned. Explain yourself."

"The truth is I never left," Nyreen answered. "A fact I went to great lengths to keep from you."

Shepard and Kaidan shared a look. This was getting awkward and they both wanted to be anywhere but in the middle of this.

"I'm not easily duped. Well done," Aria replied. "But why?"

"I just... couldn't leave," Nyreen bowed her head, obviously affected. "Considering all this, I wish I had."

"Well, you always said I'd be the death of you," Aria said softly.

Shepard stepped in to try to move the conversation back to business. "Nyreen has military training," she pointed out. "We can put her to good use."_ And then get the hell away from here before it blows up into an all-out lovers' quarrel,_ she added silently.

"You're so quick to trust, huh, Shepard?" Aria turned her ire on a new source. "Nyreen never approved of Omega's – what did you call it? 'Moral bankruptcy.' Are you willing to help defend it now?" she asked the turian.

"You'll find me very willing to liberate this station," Nyreen responded, although Shepard wasn't sure that was precisely the answer Aria was seeking.

"Your combat skills seem a little rusty," Aria proclaimed. "But you're still a good shot. See my duty officer," she added in dismissal. Nyreen gave a slight nod and wandered off. "Bray – keep an eye on her," Aria added to the batarian once Nyreen was out of earshot.

"Alright, Shepard, we need to move fast," Aria stated firmly once Bray moved off. "I'm itching for revenge."

"Aria, if you think I'm going to let you carve a bloody path through this campaign, you're sadly mistaken," Shepard said with a glare.

"And if you think you're going to change me," Aria glared back. "Well, you're welcome to try. Once up and running, this bunker will provide recon and secret access to much of the station. I'd appreciate it if the two of you would eyeball operations, see that things are setting up smoothly."

"And what will you be doing?" Shepard asked with an arched brow.

"Checking in on my forces," Aria replied as she began to walk away. "I need to know how many survived the assault before I can plan my attack. It won't take long. Join me at the command console when you're ready."

Shepard watched her walk away and then shook her head. She turned back to Kaidan and sighed.

"Don't even say it," Kaidan said with a raised hand and a grin. "I know you're sorry for getting us into this, don't worry about it."

"What's put you in such a great mood?" Shepard grumbled.

"Maybe I just realized that even Aria is human... err, you know what I mean," Kaidan said as he pulled her into his arms. "Or maybe... you just looked really hot fighting those mechs," he added before he kissed her. "And I saw an empty room over there," he whispered in her ear.

"Aren't we supposed to be 'eyeballing operations'?" Shepard asked with a grin.

"I won't tell if you don't," Kaidan said as he took her hand and pulled her into the room he had found. They might not have time for more than a makeout session, but if he was going to spend his honeymoon on this godforsaken station, he was going to enjoy it.


	20. Sympathy for the Devil, Part 2

_A/N - Sorry for the late update! Life and all that, etc. etc. :-/ The second and last part of Omega DLC, here you go :-) Glad you're enjoying the Shenko version of this DLC!_

_Thanks for your reviews Gabe97, AngstyShenko, Lyv, AirForceBrat, and Guest reviewer. To everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thank you for taking your time out to read my story, I appreciate it :-)_

_As always, all credit belongs to Bioware for their amazing efforts creating the ME universe! Thanks go to my awesome beta, StoneburntHeart, for her continual efforts and support!_

* * *

After a very enjoyable ten minutes, they did a quick sweep through the bunker and picked up a few minor errands for Aria's support staff, then finally approached her in the command center.

"Ahz, how are we looking?" Aria was asking her salarian lieutenant.

"All systems operational," Ahz reported. "Full Omega schematics coming online now."

"Let's take a look," Aria said as she wandered to the center console. A holo of Omega station appeared moments later. "I see. Shepard, those force fields we saw? The general has them set up everywhere," she pointed to areas on the holo that indicated sections that were blocked by the barriers.

"He's controlling access throughout the station," Shepard added as she studied the holo.

"What are these dark areas?" Aria wondered.

"Looks like the general may be diverting power from those areas to fuel the force fields," Kaidan mused as he studied the holo.

"Ahz," Aria called. "Find the source – priority one."

"And we'll need a full tactical assessment of all Cerberus positions," Shepard added.

"I'll get on it," the salarian confirmed.

"In the meantime, we have work to do," Aria announced. "Our losses were too significant to field an army large enough to face down Cerberus."

"Then we need to find allies," Shepard concluded with a sigh. "Story of my life," she added with a wry grin to Kaidan.

"Sounds like we need to find that merc gang – the Talons," Kaidan suggested.

Aria nodded. "We have confirmed that they've organized resistance against Cerberus. It's a place to start."

"Then it's time to play diplomat," Shepard said. "Also the story of my life..."

"And if the current leader won't join us, then the next one will," Aria added threateningly.

Shepard opened her mouth to let Aria know what she thought of that idea, but she was interrupted by Bray's arrival.

"Sorry to interrupt..." the batarian said. When they turned their attention to him, he went on, "I turned away for a second to offload supplies, when I looked back..."

"You lost her," Aria filled in with a glare.

"Well, I..." Bray stumbled and visibly quaked under her glare.

"We're locked down. She's got to be here somewhere," Shepard stepped in to save Bray.

"This bunker has secret access points to other parts of the station," Aria informed them. "Unfortunately, Nyreen knows them." She sighed. "Damn it, Bray. If I wasn't already short on manpower..."

"We need to focus on the Talons now," Shepard pointed out.

"Yeah," Aria gave another sigh. "We'll leave via the armory exit, if you're ready?"

Shepard nodded and they followed Aria to the exit.

**#-#-#**

Once again, they crawled through Omega's underbelly on the way to the Talon hideout. Along the way, Shepard and Kaidan questioned Aria about her background with the mercs, and weren't surprised to hear that it had been rather contentious. Before they reached the Talon base, Ahz reported that Cerberus had foreseen their plans and were moving to attack, making the Talon leader their priority target. Just before the hideout, they ran into the Cerberus troops and had to dig in and clear the resistance in order to proceed. After defeating two shuttles worth of incoming enemies, they finally reached the Talon base. The doors opened and they discovered three Cerberus troopers interrogating a Talon merc. They approached with weapons raised and the Cerberus leader noticed their presence and abandoned the Talon in favor of the new threat. A tense standoff ensued.

"Back off," the Cerberus trooper barked.

"I don't think so," Shepard growled back, advancing on the group.

The standoff was resolved with a new arrival – Nyreen jumped down from the rafters and used the advantage of surprise and her biotics to defeat the enemies. She bent over the wounded Talons, checking their condition as she barked orders. Clearly, she was in charge, and it appeared that they had found the Talon leader.

"Can't say I saw that one coming," Shepard muttered to Kaidan.

"I guess it makes a certain kind of sense," he answered with a shrug. They glanced at Aria, who was also clearly astounded by the new development.

"My, my, Nyreen, aren't you full of surprises?" Aria drawled in a low predatory tone.

"Aria. The deception was necessary," Nyreen's demeanor was apologetic, her tone soft. "I needed to figure out what your plans were." She stood from the wounded Talon and faced them. "The people on Omega depend on us. I couldn't risk compromising our operation."

"Not exactly standard procedure for a street gang," Shepard commented.

"When Cerberus invaded, the Talons were a mess. I brought... new direction," Nyreen explained. "The general's been hunting us ever since. Right now, he's attacking one of our outposts. That's where I need to be."

"We're done here, boss," one of the Talons reported from a nearby terminal.

"Right," Nyreen acknowledged with a nod. "Aria, Commanders... whatever you're here for, the answer's no. Kindly escort yourselves off Talon territory."

"We're here to help," Shepard said firmly, giving Aria a glare when she would have spoken. "We can talk about it after we reach your outpost."

"That's a generous offer," Nyreen replied grudgingly. "Aria, does the commander speak for you?"

"Not the way I would have put it," Aria bit out, "But that's the idea."

"All right then, come with me," Nyreen said with a nod, leading them to the opposite side of the room and the exit of the area.

**#-#-#**

Despite Cerberus' best efforts to eliminate 'Target Alpha' – which Aria was surprised to learn was Nyreen, not her, they reached the Talon outpost with minimal effort. Once they entered the merc hideout, Nyreen spoke to her lieutenants and received reports on the Talon operations. Shepard overheard the Talon mention adjutant presence, and stepped in to question the unfamiliar term.

"Creatures created by Cerberus. They eviscerate their victim's DNA, converting them into more adjutants," Nyreen explained with a grim look.

"Some kind of Reaper-based weapon," Aria added. "I've fought them before. They're a nightmare."

"It got worse after you left," Nyreen explained. "Cerberus lost control of them. Those things tore apart the gangs, then attacked everyone in sight. If Cerberus hadn't found a way to contain them, they'd have infected the entire station by now."

"Keeping your people alive through all that couldn't have been easy," Shepard said with some feeling.

"I watched friends get turned into monsters. And then I had to kill them," Nyreen replied with a bowed head. She wandered off to check in with the rest of her people.

"The adjutants really got under her skin," Aria murmured after she was out of earshot.

The team completed several errands and restocked supplies before they approached Nyreen at her command console.

"You've done an excellent job, Nyreen," Aria pronounced condescendingly. "But I'll be taking over now." Nyreen simply glared back, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly. "You know what happens to people who argue with me..." Aria added.

"And if I say no?" Nyreen protested, still defiant. "You'll kill me and take over? My people won't stand for that."

"Yes they do seem... nauseatingly loyal," Aria conceded. "Either way, I'll get what I want."

"Not this time," Nyreen countered.

"The truth is none of us can do this alone," Shepard pointed out reasonably. "Our only option is to join forces."

"You might be right, but the people of Omega are my priority," Nyreen replied.

"You take over one gang, and you think you're ready to decide what's best for Omega?" Aria scoffed. "Nyreen, watch and learn." She opened her omni-tool and connected with Ahz. Once he reported that the station was connected, Aria's image filled all the view screens in the room. The sounds of crowds and fighting told them they were viewing a live two-way connection to the entire station.

"People of Omega, I have returned!" Aria pronounced – clearly holding court at this point. There were yells from the crowd in reaction. "Cerberus believes they have beaten you. They believe they have you under control. They are gravely mistaken." The cheers grew louder with her words. "You are the lawless of the galaxy. You cannot be beaten, and you will never be controlled. Be ready! Your chance to strike out against your oppressors is coming! Together, we will take Omega back!" The roar from the other end of the connection filled the room before the connection was cut, likely by the general's forces.

"Clever move," Kaidan murmured to Shepard under his breath.

"She's always been dynamic," Shepard agreed with a shrug. "Let's just hope her grandstanding doesn't get innocent people killed."

"Is anyone on Omega really innocent?" Kaidan wondered rhetorically. Shepard just shrugged in reply.

"That's your plan? Throw civilians at Cerberus?" Nyreen asked scathingly.

"Anything is better than being locked up like mindless animals waiting for slaughter," Aria countered.

"I know what you're up to, Aria, and I don't like it," Nyreen replied. "I have civilians to evacuate," she added. "I'll deal with this later."

"The people of Omega – my people – love a good street fight," Aria commented to Shepard as they watched Nyreen go. "When the time comes, they'll be ready. But Nyreen's code of ethics won't allow her to sit by if civilians are exposed. It's what makes her utterly predictable and therefore easy to manipulate."

They were notified of another attack by Cerberus.

"Looks like I'm not the only one that didn't like your little speech, Aria," Nyreen came back to retort.

"Glad I got his attention," Aria replied with some satisfaction.

They drew their weapons and prepared to fight off the latest assault.

**#-#-#**

Once they defeated the Cerberus assault, Nyreen asked to talk.

"The Talons will join your cause," she told them. "Someone needs to make sure you don't ride roughshod over our people."

"I realize you don't know Commander Shepard well, but that's not how she operates," Kaidan remarked.

"Perhaps," Nyreen conceded. "But I do know Aria. Let me guess... She said I was predictable and easy to manipulate?"

"Pretty much word for word," Shepard confirmed with a grin. "She thinks she's playing you. Me too, for that matter."

"Nothing new here," Nyreen replied. "One thing though – I maintain command of my people. That's not up for debate."

"Just have them ready," Aria said with some acid.

"Oh, they'll be ready," Nyreen confirmed grimly. With that, she wandered off to her command console.

They watched her go before they turned and headed back to Aria's bunker together.

**#-#-#**

Once they arrived, Aria began to lay out her next strategy.

"We're almost there, Shepard," she said. "The Talons will be the frontline fodder. Now we just need to bring down the force fields to clear the way to Afterlife."

"Which will release Omega's civilians," Shepard filled in.

"Ceberus will have a million fires to put out," Aria confirmed with a nod. "In one fell swoop, we'll have the people and the Talons working for us."

"You might not want to compromise your alliance before it even takes shape," Shepard cautioned.

"I've learned not to put much stock in truth and goodwill," Aria replied.

"Maybe it's time to learn," Kaidan said with a pointed look.

"I'm not the two of you, and I never will be," Aria retorted with a glare. When Shepard simply glared back, she sighed. "Tell you what, I'll take it under advisement," she said with bitterness coloring her tone. She wandered away to check in with Ahz, effectively ending their discussion.

"She's never going to change," Shepard muttered as she watched her go.

"Maybe not," Kaidan conceded. "That doesn't mean we shouldn't try. And either way, the people here are better off under her than Cerberus."

"Are they? Or are we just trading one tyrant for another?" Shepard asked with a tired sigh.

"Hey, if what we're doing here helps us win this war, the entire galaxy is better off for putting Aria back on her throne," Kaidan pointed out.

"Better the devil you know?" Shepard replied with a shrug.

"More like anything is better than the Reapers," Kaidan corrected, placing a hand on her shoulder briefly in comfort. "We're doing the right thing."

"Just glad you're here to remind me of that," Shepard said with a small smile. "I guess looking at her is kind of like looking in a mirror. The image is the same... but reversed, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Kaidan conceded. "But you could never be her. The differences are what defines you."

"Maybe," Shepard shrugged again, putting an end to the philosophical debate. "Let's go find out what she has planned," she added, leading them over to the command console.

"Talk to me, Ahz," Aria was saying as they approached, studying the holo of the station once again.

"I've located the source Cerberus is using to power the force fields," Ahz reported, highlighting the relevant area on the holo.

"Yes, I see," Aria murmured. "Shepard, take a look at this. The general is siphoning power from one of my main reactors deep in the bowels of Omega's mines."

"Unfortunately, access is cut off by the force fields themselves," Ahz added.

"Not completely," Kaidan pointed out. "There's an open route through that dark area and then up," he added, indicating the route on the holo with a wave of his hand.

"Hmm, that's the processing plant for one of our mines. It's been powered down. No force fields blocking it," Aria said as she studied the holo.

"We infiltrate there, find our way through the mine," Shepard began to lay out the plan. "Then we take that elevator to the reactor's back door."

"Good eyes," Aria said approvingly with hers locked on Kaidan. When he glared she simply shrugged. "Let's go."

"Not without me," another voice piped in. They turned to see that Nyreen had joined them.

"Aria, my patrol caught her in the perimeter," Bray spoke from behind Nyreen.

"Please, you didn't catch me," Nyreen scoffed. "We're allies now. Didn't Aria tell you?"

"Nyreen was expected, Bray," Aria confirmed. "Return to your station."

"The Talons are ready," Nyreen reported. "But if I'm sending my people into the breach, I want to be sure the force fields come down for good. So like it or not, you're stuck with me."

"It's almost as if you don't trust me," Aria returned, crossing her arms defiantly.

"It's exactly as if I don't trust you," Nyreen glared back.

"Look, I'm not going into combat with the two of you sniping at each other," Shepard growled. "If you want to fight, do it now and get it out of the way. If not, then both of you shut up and trust me. I don't know what history you have, and I don't care. I'm not risking my neck, and my husband's, for your stupid pettiness." She motioned with her hands in frustration. "I'll meet you two at the exit when you're ready to fight the real enemy." She wandered off while Nyreen and Aria turned to watch, surprised at her outburst.

Kaidan turned to the two other women and gave them an raised brow.

"Tell me, Commander," Aria said archly. "Is she always on top?"

Kaidan was tired of Aria's games and let his temper win just once. "This isn't a game, Aria. She's risking a lot for your little project."

"Oh, trust me, Kaidan, I'm not playing," Aria replied, showing some temper of her own. "But she's right. Nyreen and I will work together," she conceded and the turian woman gave a nod of agreement.

"Then let's go," Kaidan said, motioning to the two of them to move out and following them once they complied. When they reached Shepard he gave her a slight nod and she returned it. They fell in formation and headed out the nearest exit.

**#-#-#**

Once they pried open the doors to the powered down mine area, the darkness inside revealed a true horror. Cerberus bodies littered the ground, their wounds caused by utter carnage more than simple weapon fire. They looked like they had literally been torn apart.

"Spirits..." Nyreen breathed.

"Relax, they're all Cerberus," Aria said with practicality.

"They've been ripped to shreds," Shepard pointed out. Cerberus or no, it was hard to see this kind of death.

"I don't like this," Nyreen added, trepidation coloring her voice.

They began to search the darkened area, looking for a way to restore the power and get access to the elevator to the reactor. The blackness and death around them served as a new kind of enemy, one that couldn't be defeated with weapons. The mind played interesting tricks on them, turning every sound and looming shape into a threat. Eventually, a very real roar warned them that the threat was real. Cerberus had apparently locked down the area for good reason – the adjutant that had caused the carnage was still alive and on the loose. Nyreen was obviously intimated, but Shepard found herself almost looking forward to meeting the new enemy. Once it had a face and she had defeated it, it wouldn't hold sway anymore.

They found the pipes that powered the door to the elevator and followed them, seeking the master circuit breaker for the area. They found it in a small enclosure a short distance away. The hum of machinery coming back online brought satisfaction for a few short seconds before the adjutant finally attacked. Aria, Shepard, and Kaidan dove for cover and combined firepower and biotics to take down the enemy, which Shepard judged to be similar to many of the other advanced Reaper forces they had fought so far through this war. Although it was protected by barriers and had some serious attacks of its own, it wasn't immortal, or a bogey man, it could be killed. Eventually, it fell under the combined assault. Shepard noted that Nyreen had frozen during the entire attack and tucked the knowledge away. Apparently military or not, the turian was not going to be much help against the adjutants.

"I hate those things," Nyreen commented with some feeling.

"Hate should make you deadlier," Aria retorted. "That looked like fear to me." Apparently, Aria had noticed Nyreen's lack of action as well, and wasn't prepared to let it go.

"Let it go, Aria," Kaidan growled. He, too, had noticed the turian's response. But he wasn't willing to let Aria toture her ex-lover over it. The Reaper's insidious ability to convert the people they were conquering made the enemy more clever – and intimidating – as far as he was concerned. It was easy to understand why that would affect Nyreen. She had a strong sense of empathy for the people of Omega, and every time she killed one of these monsters, she knew she was killing one of her own people. Since the rest of them could handle the adjutants just fine, he wasn't willing to let anyone beat her up for it.

"Back to the door," Shepard barked, putting an end to the small debate.

They moved into formation and followed her. Along the way, they were attacked by more adjutants, and once again it was a short though intense fight. Nyreen was far more helpful, though, and they made quick work of them. They headed to the elevator and into the mines.

On the elevator, Nyreen seemed to be more quiet than usual. Aria noticed and commented. "What's eating you?" she asked.

"Just processing," Nyreen said with a shrug. "It's clear that the general sealed that area to keep the adjutants in."

"Along with some unlucky soldiers," Shepard pointed out grimly.

"Yes, but the adjutants killed them but didn't convert them," Nyreen added. "I can't shake it, something's off."

"You're just spooked," Aria scoffed.

"There's a rhythm to this place, Aria," Nyreen countered. "To Cerberus, too. If you'd stuck it out here, maybe you'd feel it, too."

"Whatever's in our way, we'll deal with it," Shepard stepped in to end the debate. She was honestly sick of the two of them at this point.

**#-#-#**

They worked their way through the mines and through the Cerberus resistance they had anticipated, finding a way to the upper level and the reactor access. Once they stepped out of the elevator onto the reactor floor, the tone changed. There were no enemies in sight, and only the groan of the overloaded reactor greeted them.

"There's the reactor, straight ahead," Aria said.

They pressed forward and were within reach when the trap sprang. Red force fields formed an insidious ring around them, caging them inside. A holo of Petrovsky took shape to taunt them.

"I commend you. Your plan of attack was impeccable," the Cerberus general pronounced.

"Looks like we were expected," Shepard commented drily.

"More like lured," Nyreen corrected.

"I knew the reactor would be the hard target," Petrovsky confirmed. "I gave you no choice but this route."

"It's too bad you're on the Illusive Man's side, Petrovsky," Shepard said.

"I'm on humanity's side," Petrovsky corrected. "You're the ones trying to start a war for the glory of Aria. But now it's over."

"We've heard this song before," Shepard replied with a sigh.

"This war isn't over til your next of kin can't identify you," Aria threatened.

"I love your bravado, but have the sense to know when you're beaten," the general returned levelly. "You've been neutralized. I can leave you there to rot. You might as well give up."

"Never!" Aria growled. She turned to study the translucent red barrier.

"Aria, what are you thinking?" Shepard called in alarm.

"I'm not going out like this," Aria cried.

"Aria, don't!" Nyreen stepped forward to try to prevent Aria's impulse but she was too late. Aria flared her biotics and thrust her glowing arms through the barrier, forcibly ripping a hole through it. She shook visibly under the effort of both holding the field open and keeping herself protected.

"What the hell is she trying to do?" Petrovsky asked angrily. When no one looked away from Aria to answer him, he continued, "Damn it, Aria, you're forcing my hand. We'll do it your way then." His holo winked out and was replaced by the arrival of rampart mechs.

Shepard growled in frustration. Aria's efforts were making progress, the breach was nearly large enough to allow egress, but not quite enough yet. They took cover and prepared to attack and defend themselves while they bought her more time. They fought off what felt like endless waves of mechs until Nyreen saw that Aria began to flag. She rushed to use her biotics to reinforce Aria's barrier while Aria concentrated her last efforts on breaking through. Finally, a decent hole formed.

"Shepard, I can't hold this much longer," Aria cried. "Go!"

Shepard rushed to Aria's side. She waited for Kaidan to finish off the mech he was attacking and motioned him through first. She followed soon after and Aria dropped the force field back in place and turned to attack the new wave of mechs.

Shepard and Kaidan headed to the reactor core, though the attacks didn't lessen outside the barriers. They had to wade through attacking mechs and Cerberus troops to reach the control panel. When they reached the small room housing it, Kaidan took up guarding position outside while Shepard approached the terminal. She began to work, accessing the power grid.

Petrovsky's holo blinked in once again.

"You can't do this, Commander," he warned. "There's more at stake here than you know. That reactor powers life support systems for dozens of wards across the station. Shut it down and thousands of people perish."

Shepard glanced at him in alarm. She looked over and met Kaidan's eyes and saw that he had heard the warning, too. She motioned him to her side.

"We need to find a way to shut down just the force fields, leave the life support," Shepard told him. "Can you do it?"

Kaidan studied the information on the terminal quickly then nodded. "It will take longer, though," he cautioned.

"I'm going back to help Aria and Nyreen," Shepard told him. "I can't get through the barrier but my shots and biotics can. Can you hold here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he muttered as he began to work at the console. "Go," he added when she hesitated.

Shepard nodded and headed back to help the other women. She heard Petrovsky continue to try to persuade Kaidan, but she knew it was empty threats at this point. Kaidan had the skills to divert the power and keep the people safe, they just needed to buy him time to accomplish it. The battle was fierce, but eventually, they accomplished their goal and the red wall came down, releasing Aria and Nyreen.

"Took you long enough," Aria growled when Kaidan rejoined them.

"You're welcome," he replied with a shrug. Shepard gave him a huge grin and a helmet bump. She gathered them and led them back out of the area.

**#-#-#**

Once they were safely back in the elevator, Aria continued her diatribe to Nyreen about her hesitation when facing adjutants. Shepard felt her temper boil over and stepped in.

"Lay off," she growled, interrupting Aria. "She just saved your ass."

"I'm trying to help her, Shepard," Aria replied. "Call it tough love. The war's starting, I don't mean to miss it," she added as the elevator deposited them at the command center. She wandered off to check with her people.

"She's never been big on thank you," Nyreen said with a shrug as she followed.

Shepard turned to Kaidan now that they were somewhat alone. She pulled her helmet off and wrapped her arms around him. He grinned and removed his helmet too, and met her lips in a soft kiss.

"She may not be big on thank yous, but I am," Shepard told him when they parted. "I'm so glad you were there," she added. "That would have been tricky without you."

"You would have found a way," Kaidan said with a shrug. "But I'm glad it worked out so well."

"Yeah, now we can finish this, finally. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I miss the Reapers," Shepard said as they began to walk towards the rest of the team.

"I'll remind you of that when we get back," Kaidan said with a chuckle.

**#-#-#**

They headed into the elevator to move to Afterlife and their final assault. Along the way, Nyreen reported that the Talons and civilians of Omega were already joining the war, pushing back Cerberus forces along the way. It looked like the general and his crew were the last impediment to freeing the station – as much as Omega would ever be free.

Bray broke in over coms to report that Cerberus engineers were setting explosives on the central support columns and Shepard regretted her thought that the war was nearly won. Of course Petrovsky would be going with the 'if I can't have it, no one can' strategy. She sighed in frustration.

"Nyreen, can you split off and go help your people? We'll take care of the bombs," she said.

Nyreen nodded and they stopped the elevator to let her out. They continued to maintenance tunnels and the demolitions team. Along the way, Shepard heard Kaidan muttering, "Of course there's bombs," and grinned at their old joke.

They reached the room where the explosives had been set and saw the ring of bombs looming on each of the four support columns. The timers had been set for three minutes and Cerberus wasn't letting up their attack. Shepard and Aria took cover in the center of the ring while Shepard ordered Kaidan to handle the explosives. She felt like she didn't breathe the entire time as he quickly moved from column to column, disabling the threat, while he trusted the two of them to combine weapons and biotics to eliminate the endless waves of enemies. When the last timer was halted, Shepard felt like she had run a marathon, but everyone was safe. They pressed forward to Afterlife, and the general.

Just before they arrived, Nyreen's voice came over the com. _"Nyreen here, something's not right."_

"Cerberus is still on my station," Aria growled. "Of course something's not right."

"_Not what I was talking about,"_ Nyreen drawled. _"I'm checking this out. Going radio silent."_

"What the hell is she doing?" Aria muttered.

The elevator opened and deposited them in front of two Talon guards.

"Where's Nyreen?" Shepard asked them anxiously.

"Scouting ahead," one of the turians answered. "We've got our hands full, holding this area."

"She's going on to Afterlife," Aria guessed, taking off in a run. Shepard and Kaidan moved to follow.

They reached the club entrance just in time to witness Nyreen sacrificing herself, detonating her entire supply of biotic grenades, killing herself and the three adjutants that had been ready to kill anything nearby.

Shepard froze for a moment in shock and horror at the sight, but the sound of Aria's growl and flared biotics shook her out of it. Aria took off in a fervor, attacking anything in her path on the way to the club while Shepard and Kaidan trailed in her wake, desperately trying to slow her down. They both understood her rage but a direct frontal assault on the general's headquarters seemed rash at best.

Once inside, their worst fears were confirmed as Petrovsky sprung his final trap. He taunted Aria into an attack which left her open to an insidious prison in the center of the club while he remained safe on the second level. He unleashed every Cerberus force in the area to eliminate them. Shepard and Kaidan quickly took cover near the entrance while she surveyed the battlefield grimly.

"This is going to hurt," she summarized grimly.

"We need to take down the force field holding her," Kaidan said. "See those generators on the perimeter? They should drop the shields if we destroy them."

"I also see ten million Cerberus troops in the way," Shepard retorted.

"I didn't say it would be easy," Kaidan said with a shrug and a grin.

"Fair enough," Shepard replied. "Ok. Generators are you, I'll cover you," she said and saw him nod. "Let's go," she added before she took off in a charge to handle the troops directly in the path of the first panel.

They worked together to whittle away at Aria's prison amidst the endless waves of Cerberus forces. It was one of the most difficult battles of their career – far more intense than their fight against Saren, for example – but eventually, they were able to release Aria. The general immediately surrendered, knowing that the war was over.

They climbed to Petrovsky's perch and approached him with guns drawn.

"Commander Shepard, I surrender myself into your custody," the general said.

"That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard," Aria said in a low threatening tone, approaching him slowly with biotics flaring. She backhanded him with a biotic enhanced slap and he fell to the ground. Shepard stepped between him and Aria.

"Shepard, I'm unarmed," the general pleaded. "And I can give the Alliance intel on the Illusive Man," he bargained.

"You'll say anything to save your skin," Aria spat as she moved to attack him. Kaidan grabbed her arm to hold her back and Shepard refused to move. She glared at them but stood still for now.

"I let you escape Omega," Petrovsky replied. "I deserve mercy."

"Is that true, Aria?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Aria admitted grudgingly. "Once Cerberus had taken the station, he let me go." She sighed. "Fine, let him live. For you, Shepard. And the war against his master. But he'd better cooperate," she added with a threatening glare. "Take him, Shepard. You and the Alliance can decide what to do with him. Just get this filth off my station."

"Commander, glad to see you've had a calming effect on Ms. T'Loak," Petrovsky said with some sarcasm.

"Just be glad she didn't wring your neck with her bare hands," Shepard growled back as she nodded to Kaidan to restrain him. She saw Bray come up the stairs and they handed the general off to him with a warning look. They wandered over to where Aria was surveying the cheering crowds of Omega.

"I've been waiting to kill that man for months," she muttered. "Walk around with you two for a few hours and I go all soft. You're like a disease."

"This victory came at a cost, Aria," Shepard said gently. "It's not soft to recognize that."

"You sound like someone trying to sell something," Aria scoffed. "I admire your tenacity. And thanks to you, I have Omega back."

"So what's your plan?" Shepard asked.

"There's a lot to rebuild," Aria pointed out. "Starting with this command center. It may take some time to remove the general's stink from my throne. Wonder if I'll ever really enjoy the pole dancing in here again," she muttered.

"The citizens of Omega have been through a lot, Aria," Shepard said. "Try to remember that."

"How can I forget?" Aria shot back. "There's reminders everywhere I look. And I'll honor our arrangement... you'll have troops, ships, a mountain of eezo. You earned it."

Shepard nodded and sighed. "Then we'll be going," she said finally.

Aria simply nodded and watched them go before she turned back to her work.

**#-#-#**

Bray flew them back to the Citadel on one of Aria's ships, and they handed over General Petrovsky to the Alliance authorities there. Shepard figured Hackett would find some use for him, and she almost wished she could be around to see the two of them butt heads. She and Kaidan headed into the elevators and back to the Normandy's docking bay. They had contacted the ship as they left Omega and Joker had informed them they'd dock at nearly the same time. Once the elevator let them out onto Bay D-24, they walked slowly and wearily toward the Normandy airlock together.

"I know that was a huge win for us," Shepard commented as they walked, "But it still feels a little hollow."

"I don't know," Kaidan mused in reply. "I think you had more of an effect on Aria than you realize."

"Yeah?" Shepard questioned, halting their progress to meet his eyes. "At least I understand her a little better."

"Omega is better off now, I really believe that," Kaidan reassured her. "And so are we. I'm never going to be in Aria's fanclub, but you did the right thing, Shepard. And I'm president of yours," he added with a grin.

"Hmmm, does the president of my fanclub have any special duties?" Shepard asked as they began to walk again.

"Maybe," Kaidan replied, still grinning. "And your husband definitely does..."

"Can't wait," Shepard said as they stepped into the airlock and the door closed behind them. She sighed as the decon process started. "There's really no place like home," she told him.

"Yeah," he agreed with a sigh of his own. They walked out of decon hand in hand and headed to their cabin together. It was good to be home, finally.


	21. On the Turning Away

_A/N - Glad you guys enjoyed the Shenko version of Omega - it was challenging and loooong, and I doubt I'll write it again, but glad I did! Time to move on to the rest of the war :-) I decided to skip over the monastery for now (but I promise we'll get back to it), and head to the Far Rim... Time for some quarian/geth fun!  
_

_Thanks for your reviews AngstyShenko, Meggo929, AirForceBrat, and Gabe97 (__I promise there is smut coming, it's already written, but we have a few more chapters to go first! These crazy kids have a war to conduct after all! XD_) To everyone else reading, following, favoriting, thanks for the gift of your time :-)  


_As always, Bioware deserves all the credit for everything ME, and I'm so grateful to them for it! Speaking of grateful, my beta, StoneburntHeart, burns midnight oil, holds my hand, and generally is awesome and encouraging in the process of making this fic better - thanks so much!_

* * *

Shepard stood in front of the fish tank in her cabin using her reflection in the large glass wall to make last minute adjustments to the fit of her dress blues. She always felt uncomfortable and out of place in the pomp and ceremony aspects of her military career. She knew it came with the territory, but she wasn't her mother – she considered herself a soldier first, an officer second. The formal uniform would never fit as comfortably as her armor, and she really wished she could carry her shotgun today. She sighed and tugged at her collar again.

"You won't make it any looser, you know," Kaidan said as he slid his arms around her from behind and placed a kiss behind her ear. "I think they make them tight on purpose, just so we never relax in them."

Shepard turned in his arms and kissed his cheek. She stepped back to survey him in his uniform and smiled appreciatively. Somehow, she liked the dress blues a lot better when her husband was wearing it.

"I'm starting to reconsider this idea," Shepard grumbled. "Dressing up and holding this meeting like it's a formal diplomatic assembly..."

"It's a great idea, you just hate the dress code," Kaidan soothed. "But after our last experience with the Admiralty Board, I think you're right. The quarians appreciate pomp and circumstance. At least this time, we're not in court," he added with a chuckle.

"With me as the defense attorney," Shepard added, remembering the whole experience less than fondly.

"No one should need a defense attorney today," Kaidan replied and kissed her on the cheek again. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Shepard answered and led him out of the cabin.

**#-#-#**

Shepard was still tugging her collar as she stood in the conference room waiting for the quarian arrival. She turned to the door as Kaidan escorted the admirals into the room.

"Commander Shepard, a pleasure to see you again, though I wish it were under better circumstances," the familiar voice of Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay came to her first, and Shepard greeted her with a smile. Admiral Raan had been the least objectionable of the quarians, in her estimation.

"I'd hoped for your support in the fight against the Reapers," Shepard commented. "What's going on?"

"Seventeen days ago, with precision strikes on four geth systems, the quarians initiated the war to retake their homeworld," Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema announced with a prideful tone. Shepard sighed tiredly. Trust the quarians to start a war against the geth while she and the rest of the universe were worried about the Reapers.

"Which was a clear violation of our agreement with the Council to avoid provoking the geth," Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib Qwib added.

"A treaty violation is nothing compared to recovering our homeworld and advanced AI technology," Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh piped in as she entered the room.

"You're throwing yourselves at the geth? Again?" Shepard asked with irritation. She honestly didn't understand these people.

"And this time we may have destroyed our people for good," Admiral Koris offered.

"We'd driven the geth back to the home system when this signal began broadcasting to all geth ships," Admiral Gerrel explained, bringing up a holo display on the center console.

"The Reapers," Shepard guessed.

"Under Reaper control, the geth are significantly more effective," Admiral Gerrel confirmed. "Our fleet is pinned in the home system. If we're going to win-"

"Win?" Admiral Koris interrupted angrily. "You insisted on involving the civilian ships, Admiral Gerrel. We need to retreat or we'll lose the liveships!"

"Where's the signal coming from?" Shepard asked.

"Here. A geth dreadnought," Admiral Gerrel replied, highlighting the ship on the holo. "It can outgun anything we've got, and it's heavily defended."

Realizing that she was not going to get anywhere until she helped the quarians with their geth problems, Shepard frowned. She had a war to conduct, and she needed the quarians, especially since the asari were still holding out. She didn't have time for this, but she also couldn't afford to let the Reapers control the geth. She studied the holo for a moment and then finally gave her decision with a sigh.

"The Normandy's stealth drive can get us in undetected," she said slowly. "I could board and disable the Reaper command signal."

"Yes, cutting off the signals should throw the geth into complete disarray," Admiral Xen said approvingly.

"And when they're confused, you get to a mass relay and retreat," Shepard stated firmly.

"Good. Civilian ships have seen too much fighting lately," Admiral Koris said. "Are you sure you can disable the signal?"

"We'll get you out of there safely, Admiral," Shepard confirmed.

"Maybe their newest Admiral can help with that," Kaidan added as he finally entered the conference room. A familiar figure trailed after him, and Shepard realized why he was delayed.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, reporting for duty," the new arrival announced and Shepard couldn't help but give a huge grin. Suddenly, this mission was becoming much less distasteful.

"Tali," she breathed with a huge sigh. "Glad to see you. Admirals, I'll ready a team to head to the dreadnought," she added to the group at large. She wanted to catch up with her old friend and strategize with Kaidan. And most importantly, she wanted to be away from the admirals for a while. They seriously gave her a headache.

"Thank you, Commander," Admiral Raan replied with a nod.

They exited the conference room and left her alone with Tali and Kaidan.

"Admiral?" Shepard questioned as she turned to her old friend and finally gave her the hug she had restrained herself from in front of the other admirals.

"It's mostly a formality," Tali demurred. "I'm an expert on the geth."

"That you are," Kaidan confirmed with a proud smile.

"And what about the two of you?" Tali asked slyly. "Kaidan said you had wonderful news," she added.

"You mean that you're not the only one with a new position?" Shepard asked with a grin. "It's true... We just got married."

"That's... wonderful!" Tali exclaimed, clapping her hands. "I always knew the two of you would find a way."

"I can't take any credit," Shepard replied. "It was all Kaidan," she added with a warm smile to her husband.

"I'm sorry that we did it without you," Kaidan said with a blush covering his cheeks. "We have plenty of vids, though."

"Can't wait to see them, and ones of the little guy, too," Tali replied with a smile in her voice. "But around the other admirals, I need to keep things formal. My position is tentative at best, I can't afford to be seen as weak to them."

"We understand, Tali," Shepard confirmed with nod. "We'll catch up in private. I hope you're ready for this mission, though. I could use a geth expert on the dreadnought."

"Of course, Shepard," Tali confirmed. "It will great to get back in action."

"Good, then you and Kaidan will be on the squad," Shepard said. "Let's plan," she added as she brought the dreadnought schematics back up on the holo and waved to them.

**#-#-#**

As they approached Rannoch, Shepard gathered the squad in the cockpit. They would be leaving through the airlock for this mission, which was a departure from standard procedure, so they all stood in full gear watching Joker complete the Normandy's stealth approach to the geth dreadnought.

"We're approaching the quarian home system," Joker told them. "ETA to Rannoch five minutes."

"What have you got from the com buoys?" Shepard asked.

"Pretty much a big ole shitstorm, Commander," Joker replied, waving to the readouts on his console.

"I have detected several hundred unique signatures engaged in active combat," EDI added.

"Yeah, like I said..." Joker said with a smirk.

"Take us in, Joker," Shepard ordered.

"Stealth drive engaged," Joker reported as he worked at the helm controls. "The only way they'll detect us is if you all start singing the Russian National Anthem."

"I've seen that vid, Joker," Shepard replied wryly.

"Yeah well, it's usually you throwing around the old movie references," Joker smirked. "Thought I'd give it try for once."

They watched the scene out the viewport as the Normandy dropped out of FTL and into what really was the shitstorm Joker had predicted. An intense space battle roared around them, and Shepard found herself holding her breath. She knew the stealth capabilities of the Normandy and trusted in them, in her head anyway. The superstitious part of her couldn't help wanting any advantage.

"My cyberwarfare suite has accessed their docking protocols," EDI reported.

They watched for another few tense seconds as Joker expertly piloted the Normandy alongside the massive geth ship, despite all the chaos around them. Shepard motioned the team out of the cockpit and to the airlock.

"Tali, as our geth expert, you'll handle hacking and security," Shepard said as they stood waiting for the docking to commence. "I'm sure Kaidan will glad for the break," she added with a smirk at him.

"As long as there's no bombs involved, I don't mind," Kaidan responded mildly. "But it is good to have you around, Tali," he added with a smile to their quarian friend.

"So, Kaidan, how's the omni-tool?" Tali asked. "Still using the Logic Arrest?"

"It's still the best model," Kaidan replied in confirmation.

"Not for running multiple attack processes simultaneously," Tali countered. "You need a Nexus."

"Nexus shield enhancements are years behind the curve," Kaidan argued, and Shepard felt her eyes cross.

"That's why you overclock the mainframe," Tali offered.

"And you are both total geeks," Shepard broke in to end the debate. Both turned to her as if they had forgotten she was there and shrugged.

"_Shepard, there is a problem," _EDI reported over the com. _"All the tubes except one are physically secured."_

"_I see the free one,"_ Joker added. _"Pretty torn up though."_

"It's too risky for the whole team," Shepard stated. "I'll secure the docking area. You guys can follow me over."

"Shepard..." Kaidan began in alarm, but she met his eyes through their visors and he sighed. He wasn't going to win this one, it wasn't worth trying.

"I'll be fine," she muttered. "Hang tight, it'll just be a minute," she added as she waited for the airlock doors to open.

**#-#-#**

As Shepard stood looking at the short distance of the ravaged tube she had to traverse to gain access to the geth dreadnought, she took a deep breath. The path was completely torn and she'd have to employ her mag boots cleverly to find a secure path through. Around her, the vacuum of open space lurked silently and threateningly. She took a deep breath and her first step and the sound of her footsteps clanged echoingly in her ears.

"_Talk to me, Shepard,"_ Kaidan's voice came over the com and startled and then comforted her. She realized he was as nervous as she was, and it helped to ward off the chill she had begun to feel.

She caught sight of the looming hulk of the geth dreadnought through one of the many gaping holes in the walkway and replied, "No wonder the quarians were having trouble, that ship is enormous."

"_30% larger than an Alliance dreadnought," _Kaidan confirmed, and she could hear the relief in his voice. Even this banal topic was reassuring.

After another few steps, Shepard caught sight of Rannoch out the other side of the walkway. "Tali, you're going to like the view."

"_Better than a vid?" _Tali inquired.

"Much," Shepard confirmed.

A yawning hole in the floor ahead forced Shepard to climb the walls in an effort to progress further. She did her best to ignore the upside-down view of the ships out the holes now, she trusted the mag boots but the perspective was disturbing.

"_Still ok?" _Kaidan asked after she had been silent for a few minutes. Shepard smiled at the overly casual tone of his voice.

"The lack of gravity is a little disorienting," Shepard replied drily.

"_The dreadnought has artificial gravity. You should be ok once you're aboard,"_ Tali reassured.

"Until then, I'll be glad for my mag boots," Shepard said. She climbed around another hole and didn't allow herself to wonder if she was right-side up or upside down yet. She was nearly there and she could put this behind her.

"_Hey, take your time, Commander. We're fine until they, you know, look out a window,"_ Joker broke in to their discussion.

"The geth don't use windows, remember? Structural weakness," Shepard replied, and she was grateful for his efforts.

"_Like the geth are just sitting there saying, 'Those organics would never try the no windows thing twice!'"_ Joker shot back.

Shepard gave a little laugh and took another step. She adjusted direction around another hole and kept her eyes on the exit. It was nearly close enough to touch now, yet still so far away. She stepped forward on what looked like stable ground, and the instant later, the ground fell out from underneath her. She was suspended for a second in free space until the momentum carried her forward and her mag boots caught the ledge just before the entrance to dreadnought. She let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"_Shepard!"_ Kaidan cried in alarm, and she realized he had at least heard her sharp intake of breath.

"I'm ok," she replied, reassuring both of them, "But it looks like the rest of the team isn't using this docking tube."

"_And I'm guessing you don't want to solo the dreadnought,"_ Kaidan replied drily.

"Not if I can help it," Shepard replied with a smile. "Can we get on the dreadnought schematics?"

"_Got it,"_ Tali replied. _"I'll find you another docking tube."_

"And I'll get in and override the controls to let you guys on," Shepard completed as she stepped forward to the entrance.

Once the airlock doors closed behind her, Shepard breathed another sigh of relief as she felt the invisible force of gravity take hold and she pressed a button on her omni-tool to turn off the mag boots. Finally, she didn't have to rely on the metal in her boots to keep her firmly rooted to the ground.

"I'm inside, I've got gravity again," Shepard reported to her team as she moved forward in the strangely frozen world around her.

"_Great,"_ Tali replied. _"There should be a hull breach not far from your position,"_ she added._ "The nearest undamaged docking tube is on the other side."_

Shepard moved forward and stopped short at the gaping hole in front of her. "I think I found that hull breach you mentioned," she reported sardonically.

"_Admiral Gerrel tried a frontal assault,"_ Tali explained. _"We lost six frigates. That tiny hole was the only damage we did."_

"I wouldn't call it tiny," Shepard replied as she climbed her way around the huge gap. "Not the way you would have done it?" she asked, continuing the conversation about the quarian attack on the geth.

"_No,"_ Tali confirmed._ "He was too aggressive. I argued, but as admiral of the Heavy Fleet, it was ultimately his decision."_

"What about the other admirals?" Shepard asked as she rounded a corner and began to climb to the next level.

"_Xen backed the invasion, largely as a chance to test her toys,"_ Tali answered. _"Raan gave provisional support. Only Koris opposed the war with me. And he was right. We could lose the whole Fleet, __Shepard."_

"We'll get your people out of here safely," Shepard reassured her. And hopefully she could convince the quarians that there was a threat more important than the geth. Once and for all. She vaulted a gap in the floor and reached a door. Through the set of double doors, Shepard spotted a control panel.

"I've got another airlock," she told her team. "I think we're good to go."

"_If you override the controls, we'll be right there,"_ Tali confirmed.

Shepard approached the control panel and executed the required commands. She looked up as a door on the far side of the room slip open and Kaidan and then Tali walked through. She met Kaidan's eyes through their visors and saw the concern in his.

"You ok, Commander?" he asked her casually as they approached.

"Much better now, Commander," she confirmed with a huge smile. Kaidan nodded and they fell into formation and turned to Tali who was examining the control panel near the exit.

"Just give me a moment and I'll get this open," Tali muttered as they walked up to her. "There, we're good to go," she announced seconds later.

"So where are we headed?" Shepard asked as she led the way through the doors and into the ship proper.

"We're looking for a operations center. I can disable the Reaper command signal from there," Tali replied.

They crawled through the dark and silent corridors, and Shepard felt a chill. The quiet was unsettling, not comforting. It was too quiet.

"Where's the closest one?" she asked as they came to a large open room.

"Past their defense network and through a sensor cluster," Tali replied.

In the center of the room was a large collection of vents. As they passed it, Tali muttered, "Ugh, always with the vents!"

Kaidan chuckled. "You were fine, Tali," he reminded her.

"I got set on fire!" Tali exclaimed.

Shepard laughed and led them forward around the center console. When she reached the bridge controls to give them access to the next area, the attack she had been expecting since she'd boarded finally came. They crouched into cover as waves of geth converged on their position.

"Ok, this is more like it," Shepard muttered as she returned fire.

"You're... happy?" Tali asked in confusion.

"Better than the constant waiting, yeah," Shepard confirmed.

"You're a strange woman," Tali said as she shook her head.

"Ah, but he married me," Shepard replied with a grin and wave to Kaidan who simply shrugged. "Now, this is the plan..." She began to lay out her plans and couldn't keep the smile off her face. Geth or no, she was enjoying herself now.

**#-#-#**

Once they reached the operations center and cleared the room of enemies, they discovered the next problem. Not only was the signal not reachable from the terminal in the room, but it had served as an effective trap and further access was blocked.

"Damn it, they've locked down the Reaper signal," Tali exclaimed as they studied the holo readout of the geth ship. "We can't shut it down from here. There," she added, as she highlighted a relevant area on the holo, "The signal is coming from the drive core."

"So we need to get there to shut it down," Shepard summarized.

"Right, but how do we get there?" Tali wondered. "The geth have sealed emergency bulkheads to seal us off. We need a route to the drive core that can't be blocked, a path that runs the length of the ship."

"What about the main battery?" Shepard asked as she studied the schematics too. "It runs right by the drive core."

"That could work," Tali said hesitantly.

"But?" Shepard asked.

"The geth still have us locked in here," Tali answered. "We need to get these doors open. They've locked high-level processes. We need something basic... a ship-wide emergency like a fire."

"What about the heat diffusion center?" Shepard suggested.

"Wait. If I faked a thermal warning, it would open all maintenance tubes for emergency venting!" Tali exclaimed, seeing the plan forming.

"Would that override the lockdown?" Shepard wondered.

"Yes! Ok, I've got it primed," Tali said with satisfaction. "But be ready, I'm reading hostile geth on the other side of the doors."

"Music to my ears," Shepard said with a grin as she moved to take cover. She caught Kaidan's glance before she ducked behind a console and raised a brow. "What?" she asked.

"You call us geeks," Kaidan said as he found a spot of his own. When she just continued to stare at him, he shrugged. "Just saying..."

"Do it, Tali," Shepard ordered as she raised her rifle at the door. Tali nodded and complied.

**#-#-#**

Once they eliminated the geth and reached the maintenance tubes on the way to the main gun battery, Tali received some disturbing news over the com.

"Damn it. Priority message: A planetary defense cannon just took down Admiral Koris' ship," she reported to them.

"Survivors?" Shepard asked.

"They made it to escape pods," Tali replied. "I've got Admiral Raan trying to establish a secure link."

"Put her through," Shepard ordered.

"_Shepard, this is Raan," _came the familiar voice over the com. _"The Heavy Fleet is collapsing. I don't know how much longer we can hold out."_

"We'll have the Reaper signal deactivated momentarily, Admiral," Shepard promised.

They moved through another set of doors and the latest problem made itself known – explosively. The main weapon battery was active and fired a huge energy pulse every few seconds which decimated their shields. It made forward progress slow at best, a problem which was compounded when the geth found them and attacked again.

"Watch the shockwave, that's a big gun!" Shepard warned unnecessarily as she hid behind a convenient console.

"We should be ok if we stay in cover," Tali reassured.

"Tell that to those geth," Kaidan growled as he ducked around his cover to attack.

They dug in for a very frustrating fight, attacking the geth resistance while timing their shots to avoid the massive wave from the gun firing. All this while Shepard felt the pressure of the quarian fleet's diminishing safety weighing heavily on her shoulders. By the time the tunnel was clear of the geth, she was nearly frantic with the delay, and she still had to find the control panel to disable the gun long enough to allow them access to the tunnel between batteries so they could move further. They found the maintenance lock and deactivated the gun long enough to move through to the next area, although it was a close call. Once there, the geth attacked again. They had to contend with both the enemy and the gun firing once again. Shepard sighed in frustration and moved to attack.

**#-#-#**

Once they cleared the tunnels, Shepard breathed a huge sigh of relief. Although they still had a way to go, at least she didn't have to deal with the shockwave any longer. They climbed through a large room and loaded onto an elevator which Tali set in motion. As they began to move, two geth shock troopers entered the room behind them and fired at the platform supports. It destabilized the elevator and although Kaidan and Tali made it to the next level safely, Shepard was stranded on the wavering elevator. Kaidan turned and stretched out his arm.

"Grab my hand!" he called in alarm. When Shepard clutched him frantically as she lost her balance, he hauled her to safety just as the floor fell out from around her. When she was standing beside him, he couldn't resist wrapping his arms around her for just a moment of reassurance.

"Thanks," she breathed softly before they broke apart.

"All part of the job, ma'am," he replied, giving a huge sigh of relief.

"I'm alright," Shepard said in a much stronger voice, more as reassurance to herself than to Kaidan or Tali.

"Good, hopefully we're done with elevators," Tali joked cheerfully to lighten the mood.

Shepard smiled gratefully. "That would be nice," she replied, catching Kaidan's look and nodding. Close calls seemed to be the name of the game for this mission. Hopefully, that was the last of them, but she wasn't holding her breath.

They found a nearby ladder and continued to climb to the drive core, which was just through the next door. As they approached the large structure in the center of the room that was responsible for the command signal, Shepard frowned.

"That's definitely Reaper tech, but what's...?" Shepard asked aloud as she studied the large ball of mechanical jumble behind a terminal. She pressed a button on the terminal and the jumble began to unfold, releasing its outer shell like a flower opening its petals and blooming. In the center, a familiar figure was revealed.

"Shepard-Commander, help us," Legion called once he saw her.

"Legion," Shepard said in surprise.

"We need to get him out of there," Kaidan urged, seeing the cables and wires that held the geth prisoner. He had no idea if Legion was capable of pain, but he couldn't help but feel sympathy for his predicament.

"Wait, the geth are being controlled by the Reaper signal," Tali pointed out.

"Right. This thing," Shepard confirmed with a wave at Legion's prison.

"So for all we know, Legion is with them," Tali reasoned. "Maybe it sided with the Reapers voluntarily. Or maybe it's been hacked."

"Legion helped us fight the Reapers before," Shepard reminded her. "There's no way he would have agreed to this."

"Your caution is understandable," Legion replied without offense. "Once freed, we will submit to any restraints you deem necessary."

"We trust you, Legion," Kaidan replied and Shepard nodded.

"It is good to see all of you," Legion replied with what seemed like relief.

"I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to see you again, too, Legion," Tali admitted reluctantly.

"So what is this thing and how do we get you out of it?" Shepard asked, trying to move things along.

**#-#-#**

Once Legion told them how to extricate himself and Tali admitted that the entire conflict was a huge misunderstanding borne of typical quarian pigheadedness, Shepard went from slight disapproval of her friend's race to outright frustration. When Legion disabled the dreadnought and Admiral Gerrel decided to take the opportunity to destroy it, despite the fact that Shepard and her team were still aboard, Shepard's anger began to simmer. As they fought off the geth attack and narrowly escaped with their lives on a geth fighter, her temper was on full boil, and she didn't see it subsiding any time soon. The fact that she sat on Kaidan's lap (the lack of room in the small cramped space made their position one of expediency not affection), but he kept his hands gripped around arms of the chair with a white-knuckled grip told her that even his legendary control was stretched to the limit by this latest insult.

When they reached the Normandy, she stormed into the War Room without comment or stopping to change. Someone was going to have a piece of her mind, and she didn't particularly care who it was at this point. Kaidan wisely held his tongue, whether out of consideration or unwillingness to provoke her, or because he was still having issues controlling his own temper, she didn't know. Either way, he was hot on her heels on the way to the War Room, and the look on their faces must have been a sight. No one along the way stopped to greet them or ask questions or any of the thousand distractions that normally occurred when she stepped into the CIC.

"Your unilateral strike endangered us all!" Raan was berating Admiral Gerrel as they entered the War Room. "I should charge you with treason!"

"I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet!" Gerrel defended himself.

"And what of Shepard? And Tali'Zorah?" Raan persisted.

"They escaped unharmed!" Gerrel replied unruffled. "The mission parameters changed." Gerrel saw Shepard enter the room and turned to her, "Shepard, you're military, you understand that," he pleaded.

"I understand that you wasted your chance to withdraw safely!" Shepard growled, approaching the admiral with clenched fists.

"The dreadnought was a perfect target!" Gerrel countered.

That was it, Shepard snapped. Before she could even think, before Gerrel even finished his sentence, she balled her fist and punched the supercilious man in the gut. He hunched over and grunted.

"Admiral, you jeopardized your mission and your people!" Shepard growled. "Get the hell off my ship!"

"Shepard, I understand you're angry-" Raan began.

"If I didn't need your fleet..." Shepard cut in threateningly.

"He nearly got us killed, Raan," Tali reminded her friend and mentor.

"You must understand," Raan replied reasonably. "The geth inflicted heavy casualties before you disabled the Reaper signal."

Shepard sighed and nodded. "I'll apologize to you, Admiral Raan, for my display of temper," she conceded.

"I've been tempted to do it many times myself," Raan replied with a shrug.

Shepard laughed. "You're welcome, then," she said. "I need to update Admiral Hackett," she added as she left the room.

**#-#-#**

After her briefing, which was, well... brief, and meeting with both Raan and Legion, Shepard took the time to change finally. Then, she found Kaidan in his office. She saw that he, too, had finally taken the time to change. She approached him warily, unsure what his reaction to her little display of temper would be. She knew he wasn't feeling any defense of the quarians, but her actions may have been a little more rash than he would have been. She hoped he wasn't disappointed in her.

"Kaidan..." she began with more hesitation than she normally would, but she was immediately reassured when he looked up from his report and smiled warmly. He reached out a hand and drew her down onto his lap and kissed her soundly. When they broke apart, she gave a small laugh and asked, "What was that for?"

"Mostly I'm glad we're alive and in one piece," Kaidan replied with a grin. "But also, that punch was really, really hot," he added as he leaned in for another kiss.

"Yeah?" she asked when they parted again. "So you're not upset with me?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "But only because I wanted to be the one to do it."

Shepard grinned again. "Maybe we can ask him back and you can take your turn?" she suggested.

"Not sure we'd get away with that," Kaidan replied, "Although I love you for suggesting it."

"Ok, well, next time I have to punch someone, I promise to give you a shot first," Shepard promised.

"Deal," Kaidan said with a nod. "Now why don't we take this up to our cabin?" he suggested.

Shepard sighed in genuine sorrow. "As much as I'd love to, duty calls," she said with some regret. "We have an admiral to rescue on Rannoch, and Legion has some plan to help the quarians as well. I have Joker heading to the coordinates now," she added as she stood and pulled him to his feet as well.

"Is it too late to take you up on your offer to punch Gerrel again?" Kaidan grumbled as he followed her out of the room.

Shepard laughed. "I'm sure there's still plenty of geth to shoot," she offered in consolation as they stepped on the elevator together.

"Well, that's something..." Kaidan replied with a distinct pout as the doors closed behind them and they headed off to the next order of business.


End file.
